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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dear V. (and B.?),

I'm intervening, sorta, between you two, even though I failed the last time. Luckily nothing bad came out between you two (or the three of us for that matter), you even (we even?) bonded a little. I missed to say V. that, although there were no problems between you two, from my point of view you were socially inefficient :p. I know, I know, I'm overreacting and rationalizing my wrongdoings. Not to mention my social failings.
If nothing else, at least I'm begging to understand my mistakes,

This events got me thinking. Especially in the light of what other INFJs are saying about themselves. It's the belief that we're better at the written word. I'm not sure if I thought this since forever, or if it's a new thing, but since forever/recently I have a feeling that sometimes, not always, I am not completely myself in online chats... Let me clarify, it is me, it's just that I sometimes act on unsure hunches. I usually know how true some things are, and recently I began acting on things I'm not completely sure of (I used to only act on sure things). Since this is happening for the 2nd or 3rd time recently I started thinking why is it so. Especially in the last few days I've been thinking about our social circle and it's apparently non-existent problems that I'm making up :p. For example, after the LoL discussion I couldn't fall asleep thinking about it for a few hours! And it persist in the days after, but less and less every day (probably because I have no new "problems" to think about). That over-thinking about you (over-thinking is generally "normal" for me, as you probably can see XD) doesn't seem exactly normal. Still not sure why it is that way, or how to solve it, but some guesses for now are: I'm bored, and I made myself think that I'm good at solving interpersonal problems, and since there are no real problems to solve, I create them where there are none; I'm avoiding studying (or is it the other way around, my thoughts prevent me from studying?). Why do I even think about it so much? I get worked up about something that I think was bad but it wasn't really... Another possible answer (in which I majestically manipulate your feelings :p) is that I want to socialize with you, to be useful in any sense I can and that because of that I'm trying too much about it and my subconsiouss is making these false alarms. But, there is this idea that there's a problem with that, I must admit, I sometimes feel/wonder inside myself, when we're all together irl if I belong there. (INFJs say this on the nets). But then again, I want to be with you when I'm not with you and I'm unusually open and self righteous online. I feel stupid saying I wish to be with you, but then when we finally hang out outside I barely have something to say :(. How can I then claim I care for your company? And not just that, I wonder if we're socially/emotionally/whatever compatible? Which brings me back to what INFJs are saying about themselves on the nets. They say they are eloquent online, and awkward live. I should work on that. Since I'm already talking about this, might as well mention I'd appreciate if you would help me with this. For example, you could question me a lot when we're together and stuff like that. Make me talk more.

Whatever the case, now I understand that there is something wrong with me lately. Hopefully I'll think about solving it in the coming days. Or I could shift my focus and strengths on finding a way to bring S. back to the group instead of thinking about phantoms, it's just the S. problem seem particularly impossible to solve ._.

I've been reading a little the four description again... While it is true that Fours often feel different from others, they do not really want to be alone. They may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they deeply wish to connect with people who understand them and their feelings. Although I don't know if you're the people who understand them and their feelings... maybe that’s the problem?
On the other hand, if a Type Four loses control of their own emotions, they may appear to act like an unhealthy Type Two. This would include unhealthy clinginess and neediness, as they have stopped looking within themselves for fulfillment and instead are looking at others. ._. Might be. But two things: 1) How do I get back at looking within myself? What does that even mean? 2) Surely I have to socialize with other people, but in a positive way?

Written 20th of May 2012.
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