[Swordsman of Mana]

is this common with 7s? I know I've noticed it in both myself and other 7s. as a 7, do other people often mistake you for hitting on them

 

[Ace Face]

Lol, all the time. I think it's because I encourage other people and make them feel good about themselves. I like to give people compliments and treat them how they should be treated. It is often mistaken for flirtation.

 

[aef8234]

Every. Time.

I had one of my fighting instructors say "I know you like me", I laughed inside.
something told me if I'd laugh she'd derp things, I didn't want derp'd.

 

[JamieBond]

Yes. In an annoyingly clearcut nutshell, yes.

I think because 7s are very comfortable with themselves and because we like making people feel good that it looks likes we like them. When honestly sometimes you want to punch them in the face. With a butcher knife.

 

[Laura C]

Hmm, come to think of it, yes! Usually, it takes others pointing out to me though.

 

[aconite]

Yes! Mostly because I come across as being cold and intimidating (while I don't think I really am). So, when I talk to someone, laugh and crack jokes all the time, they usually think I must be very interested in them.

And there is the thing that I believe in direct communication, and people who love reading too much into my words, sometimes feel very confused.

 

[Holunder]

Definitely!

Personally, I just easily get interested in other people or what we are talking about, and show my enthusiasm, which is apparently interpreted as interest in another quarter. Good to hear I'm not alone.

Funny thing is, when I'm actually interested in someone I'm very awkward and probably don't come across as flirting at all. :frustrating:

 

[Tulipgarden]

ALL the time. I have the car dealer we bought a car from calling me. Its like WHAT?? I was just trying to be nice. He was supposed to be the one selling to us not me selling to him. HAHAHA!

 

[Airy]

Definitely the vivacious energy coupled with playful jokes. Oh and when you pay attention and or compliment them it must be because you like them right? So you continue to chat happily to this person, being yourself and then somewhere down the track they a) are advancing on you, b) behave awkward around you (perhaps unsure or uncomfortable), c) call you out on it (on wut?) or d) nothing changes.

I feel it's a bit ignorant/ presumptuous when people choose option a and then get upset when they realise they weren't 'hot stuff' to you. Butcher knives definitely come in handy there but I prefer blunt objects to clob them silly haha.

 

[Dark Romantic]

is this common with 7s? I know I've noticed it in both myself and other 7s. as a 7, do other people often mistake you for hitting on them

Yes, all the time. Course, I'm pretty opportunistic to begin with, so I'll leave that possibility open unless there's a good reason not to.

 

[RepairmanMan Man]

Actually, I'm somewhat the opposite. I seem to have an anti-flirtation field around me all the time...people have backed away with their hands in the air as if I'm threatening them personally when they try to make "friendly contact" and I don't pick up on the cues. Damn 8-wing!

That said, in my world travels, I've noticed that men seem to fall passionately in love with me simply because I am kind and give them the time of day. I think I'm being polite and respectful and that's it, but apparently, I'm treating them with more dignity than most white American tourists. It's kind of annoying.

 

[Airy]

On the other hand its society's way of telling us we're naturals at attraction =P.

 

[Enfpleasantly]

I am viewed as a flirt by many, but I honestly see it as just having fun. I like to build people up so they are the best they can be.

In an attempt to get a male friend to come to a gathering my Husband and I were hosting, I started asking him about which dress I should wear (he is kinda girlie like that, and loves that stuff so anyway, I sent him awful bathroom pics of me in each dress, without makeup or my hair done. He told me which dress he liked the best and that was that. I told my Husband all about the conversation casually, because it was nothing.

Well, several mos. later the guy told my Husband about it like I was hitting on him. My Husband told him "that's not what she was doing", the guy said "I don't knowwwww", my Husband said, "she told me about it that very day and it meant nothing to her beyond asking your opinion and trying to get you psyched up for the party, haha".

Anyway, it's rather annoying...maybe I'm just naive?

 

[Airy]

I think 7's should insert a 'Not Flirting' disclaimer in those situations. It would certainly help clear alot of the misconception.

 

[chickydoda]

I don't just think its a 7 thing, I think its an ENFP thing as well.

 

[RepairmanMan Man]

Apparently, this is also a problem with ISTPs...lol!

 

[cityofcircuits]

Idk if isfp 7's come across as flirtatious as much as the more extroverted types or enfps.
I wish i knew other 7isfp's to find out. I know people are comfortable around me and i love having fun doing whatever so maybe that's 'inviting' especially with random girls idk. Sorry i don't have much to contribute fellow 7's.

*as a sidenote over the last 2 weekends at anime cons in minneapolis and seattle I've exchanged numbers with 7 girls so far but i swear I'm not hitting on them haha i promise!

 

[Sina]

@Enfpleasantly

I'd say yes..you were somewhat naive there. You had the right intentions, but people are so used to not receiving attention and validation that even the slightest amounts can give them the wrong hint and backfire sometimes. It's disrespectful that the guy told your husband that you were flirting with him. wow. That'd blow my fuse. badly.

 

[Swordsman of Mana]

when I was in high school, I used to use this tendency to dominate/control people by deliberately being very sexual and making them extremely uncomfortable. if someone disrespected me, attempted to mistreat me or tried to put themselves in a position of superiority with me, this was all I had to do to make them lose their composure around me (even people who would have otherwise become extremely violent). eventually I stopped to ask myself "what am I doing to piss people off this much in the first place?" obviously there was something about me people thought was, to say the least, not very nice, and I'm sure sexually intimidating them didn't do much to improve their opinion of me, so I started to cut back and, lo and behold, so did they.
occasionally, with women, I've done the opposite and sexually charmed the socks off of older women, even compelling two to buy me a couple of gifts XP

 

[JamieBond]

when I was in high school, I used to use this tendency to dominate/control people by deliberately being very sexual and making them extremely uncomfortable. if someone disrespected me, attempted to mistreat me or tried to put themselves in a position of superiority with me, this was all I had to do to make them lose their composure around me (even people who would have otherwise become extremely violent). eventually I stopped to ask myself "what am I doing to piss people off this much in the first place?" obviously there was something about me people thought was, to say the least, not very nice, and I'm sure sexually intimidating them didn't do much to improve their opinion of me, so I started to cut back and, lo and behold, so did they.
occasionally, with women, I've done the opposite and sexually charmed the socks off of older women, even compelling two to buy me a couple of gifts XP

hahaha there's these two guys who have given me gifts because they are/were enamoured with me... I think it's hilarious.