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Hi 7s, how do you deal with sadness?
How do you cope with long term feelings of emotional sadness?
do you block it out until one day you burst into tears wondering why you feel this way, then it dawns on you that you never processed the sadness/pain in the first place?
i know as a seven wing, that in my mind i am mostly happy and if i am not then i need to fix it asap to regain that state, would you say that is true for you? like, i dont know how other numbers just sit with their pain and wake up like that and cope with day to day, i'd die...lol

Please respond!
 

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ESFP, 7w6, sexual, Tritype 749
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Dude, this is hard to answer for me. Generally when I’m uncomfortable I try to make it go away as quickly as possible but my tritype is 749 so I find something kind of beautiful and meaningful in pain and can really go there and bask in it at times. It’s a really conflicting tritype as I feel I am being pulled in different directions, then my 9 there at the end wants to make everybody happy and keep the peace while I’m simultaneously ping-ponging between escapism and melancholy/deep thought and feeling. I’m exhausted to say the least! As a 7 I don’t have a whole lot of patience for discomfort and I have addiction issues. Now that I’m sober and don’t have that solution I generally first try to keep my mind super busy and going a million miles a minute and when that doesn’t work out I will go in pretty deep with the emotions, which I hate but it also feels natural and I feel like it makes me a deep and artistic individual. Neither of these tactics are effective for very long. For me, I feel like I have to process emotions as they arise and fully feel them but not wallow, and actually TAKE ACTION to deal with my issues instead of sit and burn thousands of calories THINKING about what to do or about exciting or happier opportunities and further scenarios to distract myself. A little escapism and whimsy is helpful if I actually deal with my crap first. Unfortunately that’s usually where I go to first when uncomfortable.
 

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Dude, this is hard to answer for me. Generally when I’m uncomfortable I try to make it go away as quickly as possible but my tritype is 749 so I find something kind of beautiful and meaningful in pain and can really go there and bask in it at times. It’s a really conflicting tritype as I feel I am being pulled in different directions, then my 9 there at the end wants to make everybody happy and keep the peace while I’m simultaneously ping-ponging between escapism and melancholy/deep thought and feeling. I’m exhausted to say the least! As a 7 I don’t have a whole lot of patience for discomfort and I have addiction issues. Now that I’m sober and don’t have that solution I generally first try to keep my mind super busy and going a million miles a minute and when that doesn’t work out I will go in pretty deep with the emotions, which I hate but it also feels natural and I feel like it makes me a deep and artistic individual. Neither of these tactics are effective for very long. For me, I feel like I have to process emotions as they arise and fully feel them but not wallow, and actually TAKE ACTION to deal with my issues instead of sit and burn thousands of calories THINKING about what to do or about exciting or happier opportunities and further scenarios to distract myself. A little escapism and whimsy is helpful if I actually deal with my crap first. Unfortunately that’s usually where I go to first when uncomfortable.
thanks for your response, wow! what a crazy tri type!! do you ever feel like if you go to your emotions youll be trapped in them and they will take you over? i feel like i feel things more than most, and if i let myself feel it too much i wont be able to recover.
 

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I'm still not sure how to properly deal with it, but I do my best to keep in mind sadness as a counterbalance to happiness. Experiencing sadness helps to make room for happiness. Almost making into a challenge to try to feel the sadness as fully as possible to make the after effect better? A lot easier said than done I know. I'll share any strategies I find as I figure them out.
 
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I act against the thing which caused it. Desperately.

If my actions don't work no matter how many times I've tried a different thing... then I overdose on every physical pleasure in existence and the "acceptance" phase shows up.
 

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I don't. Lol. :crazy:

At some point, I give up trying to avoid the sadness and analyze the root cause of it, but until I resign to having to do that, I avoid the sadness. i.e. I don't deal with it. :p
 
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I THINK I'm a 7. I identify strongly with my tritype 721, and I THINK I identify that my problems are 7 problems..and reading about 7sx felt like a serious exposure, but... sometimes I'm also skeptical that I'm a 7. I test almost as high on 2 but I don't seem to have the 2 problems.... well... anyway... diagnose this or do you relate to this:

Have you guys felt that when you hit rock bottom (maybe not even sadness, but just what I think is low E7 health) you feel like you mean nothing? You think "Why would anyone bother? Why would anyone bother hanging out with me?" and the pain is in feeling empty and like you are nothing and mean nothing to anyone? I'm not often there, but if I hit rock bottom and OUT OF ALL IDEAS for the problems at hand and the happiness I want unattainable, then that is how it feels. I can only stand to be there for so long without distracting myself because that is emotional sadness and pain and loneliness and emptiness for me.
Truly sad as in an artistic sense is tough, but there is beauty there. Sadness that takes away my resources, like if one of my parents died... they haven't died and hopefully I have many more years with them, but I had a dream once that my mother died and I was just so angry. Not angry at anything or anyone in particular, just incredibly angry that she had been taken from me, that I could no longer talk to her. How angry that I didn't have access. Okay, I can feel very sad while writing that and then I distract myself and think it's funny. She's not dead and I should call her. lol.

But I have a therapist and she asked me to stay with the pain of my emotions one day and I think she asked me to just try to keep feeling it until it subsided or until I couldn't tolerate it anymore. And the pain bottled up in my jaw as physical pain even though it was emotional. I actually don't know how long I was able to keep with it. I am guessing that it was really under 8 minutes and it did not get easier and I finally was too exhausted from the pain and yet it felt like I'd held it for several hours, truly. It was very painful. I think that's how it was in my life right then, the reasons I went to see her seem all 7 related to me. We identified that I needed to feel my pain instead of distract myself... but...I have to do some. Distraction is very effective for us. I usually think of myself as a joyful person.


I talked to a Enneagram-knowledgeable older friend recently and he was surprised when he found out I was a 7 and he said "How long can you crash for?" I said "30 minutes tops" and he laughed. But I think it may be less than that and just feels like 30 minutes. lol. I don't know.
It seems like I've become much more comfortable with pain and that I am healthier than I was in general. I don't feel like I'm empty or unimportant as much as I did.
 

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thanks for your response, wow! what a crazy tri type!! do you ever feel like if you go to your emotions youll be trapped in them and they will take you over? i feel like i feel things more than most, and if i let myself feel it too much i wont be able to recover.
YES! I totally get like this. When I can feel an uncomfortable emotion starting to build and I give into it and really feel it, it’s very scary. I feel like, “Okay, I guess my life is over now and I will never be the same” and that’s why I generally try to avoid going there. I also feel things more deeply than most and can find myself easily overcome with feelings, positive or negative. I am actually going through a very trying time in my life right now and it’s been helpful to remind myself when I’m in the middle of all those feels that I WILL normalize and it’s temporary. Allowing myself to feel over and over and observing the fact that I do come out of it has been helpful in teaching me to not fear emotional pain as much.
 

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Hi 7s, how do you deal with sadness?
How do you cope with long term feelings of emotional sadness?
do you block it out until one day you burst into tears wondering why you feel this way, then it dawns on you that you never processed the sadness/pain in the first place?
i know as a seven wing, that in my mind i am mostly happy and if i am not then i need to fix it asap to regain that state, would you say that is true for you? like, i dont know how other numbers just sit with their pain and wake up like that and cope with day to day, i'd die...lol

Please respond!
so starting out by saying I'm not 100% convinced (or even 50%) I'm a 7, but a lot of the things fit and all the online quiz things say I am so... there it is. At times I believe I'm a 5 or an 8 or even a 4 at times - it's very random. So if this deosn't sound very 7-ish, that could be why. But I defo have a LOT of 7

TBH I have lived thus far much of my life in a predominantly very permanent negative emotional state known as anger. Frustration, annoyance, cynicism, etc. And I defo don't run away from that - in fact I find it most galvanizing. I like it when something could go bad and then I get angry and then I do something and something happens to fix the situation that was going bad for me. I also prefer feeling angry to sad, dejected, hopeless, whatever all the other things are.

All that said, I don't run away from the other negative emotions - I find them rather interesting and at times even indulge in them so as to give life flavour.

what I run away from is boredom and an aimless,empty feeling.



I am pretty incapable of having long term sadness - a week, tops, and it comes and goes. I kind of go out of my way to EXPERIENCE these emotions when they arise in a very 4-like way, I suppose (the right mood, music, etc)

i do 100% feel I HAVE to be in control of the negative emotion, though. Absolutely. Like (hard to explain) I will allow myself to feel bad or sad by (as stated) setting the right mood, purposefully ruminating, etc. But after it's done, it's done. It's an indulgence, but also a release. Its like a wank I suppose LULZ. In that context I do find all emotions (including negative ones) fun, interesting, enjoyable, sort of altered states.

But only under my control:

1) I cannot tolerate, and don't much experience, negative emotional states that are not somehow under my dominion. IE 'still' being sad even after, IDK, crying it out or ice cream or whatnot - that I can't shut off or on
2) I cannot tolerate negative emo states that linger on for very long
3) I cannot tolerate the notion that I can do NOTHING about what is troubling me. Simply... unacceptable. Like I will burn the world down to prevent that happening - I mean, I don't really burn the world down, of course.
4) if a negative emotional state outstays its welcome with me it very very quickly transforms into rage and rabid action of some sort.
5) when all else fails, sex
 
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