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Discussion Starter #1
I just answered a thread in the ENFP forum where I talked about how my personality yields me plenty of haters. I don't like to run around provoking innocent people or anything, but I DO enjoy provoking people who hate on/try to discourage me by persevering and rubbing it in their faces in a "that's right bitch!" sort of way. on the other hand, while I do enjoy intimacy and kindness from close friends, encouragement as a whole does the opposite, making me feel less motivated.
thinking about it more, I'm realizing more and more that most people are not like this. I think the 7+8 types (7w8 and 8w7) tend to enjoy the interpersonal conflict, mental stimulation, drive to overcome and rapper-esque excuse to be provocative and shocking that comes with having lots of haters.
 

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I think I know one 8w7, and if I got that right, its not that he wants haters, it just that he doesnt care if he gets into conflict. If people dont like him he could really care less. He'll kick them out out of his circle and thats that. I think telling people off is a way for him to get a weird sort of ego boost and takes pride in being an "attack dog" in a sense. But its not like he goes out looking to amass people who dont like him.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I think I know one 8w7, and if I got that right, its not that he wants haters, it just that he doesnt care if he gets into conflict. If people dont like him he could really care less. He'll kick them out out of his circle and thats that. I think telling people off is a way for him to get a weird sort of ego boost and takes pride in being an "attack dog" in a sense. But its not like he goes out looking to amass people who dont like him.
I'm not saying 7w8s/8w7s go looking for conflict (though some do) but we have a tendency to enjoy it when it comes to us and get an "ego boost" as you said.
 

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I'm not saying 7w8s/8w7s go looking for conflict (though some do) but we have a tendency to enjoy it when it comes to us and get an "ego boost" as you said.
There's almost nothing I enjoy more than that conflict you can walk away from... the battle of wits... not alla "Princess Bride" though lol. But that feeling you get when you KNOW you said something that they never expected, something that they can't counter without looking like a jerk... yeah, best feeling EVER.
 

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I was just thinking about this yesterday.

I disclaim any Enneagram correlation- but I do find that not only
do I feel more comfortable if people somewhat dislike me (IRL)-
I actually do get some sort of satisfaction out of it.

Though I don't want to 'get into trouble' and/or 'make problems
for myself' (as I have in the past)- it's as if I'm perfectly aware
that I don't fit in with people in the slightest, and, therefore,
don't want to beat around the bush about how much they're
going to end up hating me, eventually.

Plus, I really am aware that I am a bit 'rotten'- in that I can
barely behave myself for anything or anyone. It takes all my
strength of will to do right by anybody, even if I love them
desperately- to the point that I will sometimes imagine that
they don't love ME or are doing me wrong, just so I'll have
an excuse to act like a heathen.

So, in the end, I'm also decently self-loathing (and more than
a little bit masochistic)- giving being hated by others an even
more satisfying edge.

Ironically, however, people rarely end up even disliking me after
they've known me for awhile. In fact, it seems like I could damn
near beat them within an inch of their lives and they'd still like
me after having known me past a certain point.

 

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I just answered a thread in the ENFP forum where I talked about how my personality yields me plenty of haters. I don't like to run around provoking innocent people or anything, but I DO enjoy provoking people who hate on/try to discourage me by persevering and rubbing it in their faces in a "that's right bitch!" sort of way. on the other hand, while I do enjoy intimacy and kindness from close friends, encouragement as a whole does the opposite, making me feel less motivated.
thinking about it more, I'm realizing more and more that most people are not like this. I think the 7+8 types (7w8 and 8w7) tend to enjoy the interpersonal conflict, mental stimulation, drive to overcome and rapper-esque excuse to be provocative and shocking that comes with having lots of haters.
Notoriety is fun.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
There's almost nothing I enjoy more than that conflict you can walk away from... the battle of wits... not alla "Princess Bride" though lol. But that feeling you get when you KNOW you said something that they never expected, something that they can't counter without looking like a jerk... yeah, best feeling EVER.
you're talking about the feeling when you and everyone else knows they just got OWNED! yes, I love that feeling :laughing:
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I was just thinking about this yesterday.

I disclaim any Enneagram correlation- but I do find that not only
do I feel more comfortable if people somewhat dislike me (IRL)-
I actually do get some sort of satisfaction out of it.

Though I don't want to 'get into trouble' and/or 'make problems
for myself' (as I have in the past)- it's as if I'm perfectly aware
that I don't fit in with people in the slightest, and, therefore,
don't want to beat around the bush about how much they're
going to end up hating me, eventually.

Plus, I really am aware that I am a bit 'rotten'- in that I can
barely behave myself for anything or anyone. It takes all my
strength of will to do right by anybody, even if I love them
desperately- to the point that I will sometimes imagine that
they don't love ME or are doing me wrong, just so I'll have
an excuse to act like a heathen.


So, in the end, I'm also decently self-loathing (and more than
a little bit masochistic)- giving being hated by others an even
more satisfying edge.

Ironically, however, people rarely end up even disliking me after
they've known me for awhile. In fact, it seems like I could damn
near beat them within an inch of their lives and they'd still like
me after having known me past a certain point.

I read in one description that 7w8s tend to assume people will not like them/be offended by them but don't care either way, sometimes getting surprised when someone actually does like them

Edit:
bold: definitely. when I like someone/get close to them, I feel a sort of desire to protect them/make sure I'm gentle with them, and most of the time, I don't want this responsibility, so I'm more comfortable when people dislike me (plus people tend to be really funny when they're offended)
 

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Well you're bound to insult/displease doing what you do so the choice comes down to do you want to hurt yourself or have haters? You can always ignore and remove people projecting hate onto you, but dealing with yourself once you've gone crazy trying to please everyone won't be easy.

If someone does hate on you, why not turn that into energy and a drive to do what you couldn't do before?
 

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I was a political cartoonist at my university for about 4 years, and I was always surprised (and amused!) by the number of people willing to hate me personally for drawing a funny, yet thought-provoking, picture. I took a sort of pride in reading their semi-coherent hate mail that always missed the actual point of the cartoon altogether.

That said, I also have a human need for people to like me and not hate me. I won't deny that, but on the other hand, I'm not going out of my way to be "nice" or lie to get them to accept me. Unless I have a good reason to do otherwise, I tell the truth. Even if it provokes them.

There's almost nothing I enjoy more than that conflict you can walk away from... the battle of wits... not alla "Princess Bride" though lol. But that feeling you get when you KNOW you said something that they never expected, something that they can't counter without looking like a jerk... yeah, best feeling EVER.
That's pretty much why I was the scapegoat child in my family.
 

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I read in one description that 7w8s tend to assume people will not like them/be offended by them but don't care either way, sometimes getting surprised when someone actually does like them
lol, yes. I'm really surprised when someone calls me kind, or nice, or helpful. "Wait, are you talking about me"?
 

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Discussion Starter #18
you know, looking at it a little more, I think enjoying having haters is partially a defense mechanism. if someone I don't like insults me, fuck'em. who cares, but if let someone close to me emotionally and they do that...ouch. usually this will leave me feeling angry that I let them get that close to me and reinforces my belief that people are assholes and you have to be VERY careful who you open up to. by being blunt and forthright with everything, most people will be offended so that filters out all the people who don't understand me and leaves me with a much smaller possibility of becoming attached to and hurt by someone.
 

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I'm not sure about haters, but I sure do loved to be gossiped about, it fuels my imagination and elevates me, because I know that deep inside they want to do what I do, but they don't have the balls for it, so they hate me instead. I will purposely do things to get talked about behind my back and to challenge people's perceptions of normality, I want the world to know i'm different.
 

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you know, looking at it a little more, I think enjoying having haters is partially a defense mechanism. if someone I don't like insults me, fuck'em. who cares, but if let someone close to me emotionally and they do that...ouch. usually this will leave me feeling angry that I let them get that close to me and reinforces my belief that people are assholes and you have to be VERY careful who you open up to. by being blunt and forthright with everything, most people will be offended so that filters out all the people who don't understand me and leaves me with a much smaller possibility of becoming attached to and hurt by someone.
I get that, because if people don't like you at your worse, then they don't deserve you at your best...quoted my MM. You know i think i test people also, and this is not always a bad thing if you have motives behind it. Testing people is a way to filter out the good seeds from the bad ones. The ones who are still there in the end are keepers, because it takes someone special to understand/accept everything about your habits, good or bad. This weeding process sure does save lots of time and energy too. I didn't always realize that, although when i did i used this tool to speed the connection whether that turns out keeping or letting go. Why waste time and energy on people you don't see in the grander scheme of things. Quality , not quantity.
 
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