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Hi 8s.

I have been close with a male enneagram 2 for two years, and over time he has shown how capable he is of being physically domineering and intimidating - borderline abusive.

As I was going through threads today, I suddenly questioned whether he is a 2 at all, and maybe he is an enneagram 8. The reason I thought he was a 2 at first though, was that he had a lot of pride and seemed to try very hard to close the gap in our relationship. He loves love. He's really good at figuring out what people need. He has the warmest smile, a gentle voice, and is a bit of a nerd. We have quite an age gap, so I was wondering if perhaps he could be an 8 with strong growth towards 2? Or he could be a 2 with a strong stress towards 8. He doesn't seem unhealthy in anyway except for the entitlements he feels towards me specifically. He is very love driven and probably just wants to be loved deep down. But at the same time he really enjoys the chase... he's not as aggressive of a pursuer as I imagine 8s to be... but maybe 8s aren't as aggressive as I've imagined?

Do you guys think he's more of a 2 or an 8? I have an 8 brother who is likely an 8w7... while my friend might be more of an 8w9. Where he can be very physically unafraid of conflict, he also tends to ignore things that bother him. Thanks for your time! Anything helps.
 
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Hi 8s.

I have been close with a male enneagram 2 for two years, and over time he has shown how capable he is of being physically domineering and intimidating - borderline abusive.

As I was going through threads today, I suddenly questioned whether he is a 2 at all, and maybe he is an enneagram 8. The reason I thought he was a 2 at first though, was that he had a lot of pride and seemed to try very hard to close the gap in our relationship. He loves love. He's really good at figuring out what people need. He has the warmest smile, a gentle voice, and is a bit of a nerd. We have quite an age gap, so I was wondering if perhaps he could be an 8 with strong growth towards 2? Or he could be a 2 with a strong stress towards 8. He doesn't seem unhealthy in anyway except for the entitlements he feels towards me specifically. He is very love driven and probably just wants to be loved deep down. But at the same time he really enjoys the chase... he's not as aggressive of a pursuer as I imagine 8s to be... but maybe 8s aren't as aggressive as I've imagined?

Do you guys think he's more of a 2 or an 8? I have an 8 brother who is likely an 8w7... while my friend might be more of an 8w9. Where he can be very physically unafraid of conflict, he also tends to ignore things that bother him. Thanks for your time! Anything helps.
Um I would worry less about the enneagram of this guy and more about him being physically/emotionally abusive.

I can't say how aggressive you imagine 8s to be.
 

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2's disintegrate to 8.
 

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Doesn't sound like an 8w9 to me, it sounds way more like an (sx?) 2. 8w7s can be more 'aggressive' and driven in their pursuit of people -and other things they want- particularly romantically in some cases. As an 8w9 I'd describe my style as much more of a 'sit and wait predator'. I know how to lure people to me, I don't chase.

Even as an sp8 I get confused for a 2 sometimes, but I am definitely not one. People tend to assume that if you're helpful and ever genuinely interested in bettering someone else's life, you're more 2. Fact is I am almost finished nursing school and want to work in pediatric psych. I'm good with kids, they love me. People think that leads right off into 2ville... but it doesn't. I didn't start it because I love helping people, or because I love how people appreciate me for helping their kids- I did it because it's an always-growing field that pays really well and I'm guaranteed a job.

Motivation is everything.
 

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Unlikely that he's and 8. 2s go to 8 when unhealthy, 8s go to 2 when healthy. Rarely would you see 2ish behavior in an 8 that was negative. But you'd see bad 8 behavior in a 2 who was unhealthy.
 
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