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Only goldfish fall for the charm.. and neurotics the whip.. poor kids. Nurturing side wins this time.
 

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Yes but the emergency room would have a helluva story. Especially since that miscarriage to literature 50 shades came out.. oh how I wish they would write up those anecdotes.
twisted as fuck side>nurturing and worried about stupid young kids. wins this time.
I haven't actually read those books so I don't know the details, but I suspect it would lead to funny stories. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when the parents go into the hospital room of their 15 year old, sunday school daughter and find out how she dislocated both her shoulders.

I do expect that a lot of locksmiths have been called about people misplacing handcuff keys, but I also doubt that anything serious has happened since the audience for those books doesn't exactly seem like the adventurous type. I mean if they had any "real" interest they would read something like "The Story of O" or some de Sade.
 
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Only goldfish fall for the charm.. and neurotics the whip.. poor kids. Nurturing side wins this time.
Now that is an Fi statement if I ever saw one.
 

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Now that is an Fi statement if I ever saw one.
Oh good you solved the mystery for me of whether I am Se dom with Ti, or Fi.
 

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I did enjoy a bit of DeSade until I saw anything about fecal matter, I never read again.. and never will.. europeans at that were fucking weird.
 

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You should get used to it, I make a lot of sense and say a lot of intelligent things. If you'll excuse me I have a random hook up that I'm doing some Japanese suspension bondage with.
You keep responding to me and shes gonna suffocate stuffed in that glass box under your bed.
 

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I can't wait to try out BDSM, and I definitely will try out a D/s relationship. I find the emotional bond between a Dom and a sub to be wonderful and amazing. If you want to try out a 24/7 D/s relationship just for the sex, I will come to your house just to beat you with a bat because your behavior and ignorance is unacceptable. Ergh!!!! Thinking about the ignorance of these so called "Doms" and "subs" infuriates me. People who get into BDSM sexually and relationship-wise just because of 50 shades of grey (without any further research, mind you) are ignorant and need to educate themselves. BDSM can be extremely dangerous emotionally and physically! I refuse to read those books, but from what I have heard, that Dom was abusive.

I suggest you read the following. It was taken from this beautiful blog.

Submissive Traits - Intelligence:
 


If submission is the teammate of Dominance then intelligence is the spoil of victory.

It is tempting to look at images of BDSM and sadomasochistic pornography and assume that a submissive or masochist must be either weak willed or feeble of mind and heart to allow someone to use and even abuse them is such a manner. After all, what strong-minded or self-assured woman would submit themselves to the physical and emotional subjugation and even humiliation depicted in such imagery? Clearly there must be something wrong with a person who allows themselves, nay even seeks out, such treatment. But not so fast, there is much more than meets the eye.

It is true that domineering men who hide their insecurities behind bluster, bravado or even violence often seek out weak or meek women as not only their foil but also sadly their emotional and physical punching bags. It is tragic and sadly all too common throughout the world in all forms of “relationships," vanilla and BDSM alike. Often such men want nothing more than a human lap dog that will dutifully stand by their side regardless of behavior only to be kicked, ignored, and emotionally malnourished. The domineering prick wants the illusion of control to shine through for everyone around them to see as a boost to their fragile ego but never wants to be outshone or upstaged. They want their dog healing and panting at their side when it is convenient to them and out of sight and mind when it is not. Its a sad state of affairs all around and particularly for dependent or even codependent women who are subjected to and nearly held prisoner by such domineering behavior. Sadly, there are many of these domineering men who pose as Dominants and candidly give the BDSM and D/s community a bad rap.

So let me be clear. A Dominant has no need for, nor a desire for, a lap dog. Nothing could be more painfully boring or unfulfilling to a Dominant than a codependent or weak willed or minded lap dog of a submissive. A great part of the reward of submission to a Dominant is that it must be earned from a very worthy source. It may even be an outright challenge. By this I do not mean the brat submissive who is really a top and challenges every move a Dominant makes seeking to find the “One" who is tough enough to beat her at her own game. That is really just Dominance or more likely domineering in disguise. I am referring to patiently and lovingly earning the submission of a woman who is strong, intelligent, self-assured, capable, as well as beautiful, sensual, and sexually adventuresome. That is where true reward lies.

When I look down at my submissive kneeling before me I do not wish to see a cowering dog. No, I want to see the glimmer of intelligence in her eye, the knowing look that she could be anything she wants to be in this life but chooses to be here, at my feet. I want to know that she appreciates my own intellect and can match it step for step. I want a challenge not only from her body but also her mind. I want to have to work for the submission I receive. Not fight over it, earn it. I want a submissive worthy of my Dominance every bit as much as I strive to be worthy of her submission. Ultimately I want a partner who is as interesting and challenging to talk with, go places with, and experience life with as she is sexy, submissive, devoted, and serving. I want her to push me as much as I push her. I want a partner, not an automaton.

But I am a guy and like most men can be visually driven. I would be lying if I did not say that looks matter to me, that appearance plays a significant role in attraction. But looks alone only draw me closer in curious exploration and no more. Sexiness, sensuality, and overall attraction do not come from appearance alone. They are a state of mind. And there is nothing more sexy and sensual to me than a highly intelligent woman who is confident and curious about life, herself, her sexuality and other people. An outgoing, intelligent, articulate and confident woman combined with a natural curiosity and desire for exploring and enhancing her sensuality is a lethal combination for me. Add a touch of submissiveness or even a desire to submit and I am slain. The secret sauce though is in the heart and mind.

An intelligent Dominant will always seek an equally intelligent submissive. They desire a partner to dance the D/s dance with who is challenging (not combative), yet devoted. The rewards of submission are commensurate with the effort. Intelligence combined with sensual beauty is a prize worth every ounce of effort a Dominant can muster. Ultimately, when my Muse outshines me and is the center of everyone else’s attention and focus it is not an affront to me but instead perhaps the ultimate compliment. For it is a submissive who shows for all to see exactly what sort of Dominant they they kneel before.

Caption © For The Love of a Submissive, 2013
(Still... everyone will have their own way of doing their relationship and their own opinions.)

I don't mind doing BDSM acts in a non-D/s relationship; I'd enjoy it so much. I wouldn't be sexually submissive just for anyone, only people I find worthy. I'm still dominant, and I would be a Domme/Mommy/Etc in a D/s relationship, never a sub. Nobody is worthy of my complete submission, and it's just not who I am. I will never completely submit to anyone or anything. I'd get bored, too, and naturally rise to a dominant stance. Even if I'm "submissive" (in a BDSM sense) sometimes in a vanilla relationship, it's only because I told him I'm in this certain mood. You notice though I'm still in control. I initiate it. I end it. I tell him what I want and need. S/he can't do things I don't want them to do when I'm "submissive".

(Random thought, but people need to move away from the idea that being penetrated=submission.)

The biggest reason why I know I can never be a submissive in D/s because I wouldn't get fulfillment from it (I'd also fight back when being controlled), but by being a Domme, I could be "fulfilled".

I wrote most of this out of anger, so I kind of forget what else I was going to say lol... uhhh! *thinks*

I would go into my sexual fantasies... but, hmm. Nah. I don't want to post them publicly on a forum. Well... I won't get into details.


  • Using someone as a foot rest (not sexual, but I want to do it)
  • Whipping someone's back while they're tied up (standing up, too) and they have a vibrator on/in them
  • Watching someone begging for me like an animal, panting like a dog. I wouldn't be aroused either, but I'd almost laugh. It's a different kind of pleasure.

I'll reveal only those.

EDIT: I realized I can't be so sure about not being submissive. I only have cracked the few barriers covering my true self and hidden desires, but I certainly won't post them out on here.
 

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First thankyou for the rant and warning people not to get into it just for the sex and the damage it can cause. Smart!

My exhusband is a sub who LOVES being yelled at and degraded and never told me..so he would argue with me and get me to flip out and then revel in my fury. I could never degrade anyone except playfully.. not in a cruel fem dom way and losing my temper like that would leave me feeling sick for days.. Empress you have put a lot of research into this.

I don't think a relationship can be equal without switching. I was submissive all of this year. Because I finally trusted someone enough to be. It was interesting.. but we switched all the time.. prior to that I am always always in control of myself.
 
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Well explain how you find it disturbing? the idea of being out of control.. or the taboo aspect still in society?
 
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First thankyou for the rant and warning people not to get into it just for the sex and the damage it can cause. Smart!

My exhusband is a sub who LOVES being yelled at and degraded and never told me..so he would argue with me and get me to flip out and then revel in my fury. I could never degrade anyone except playfully.. not in a cruel fem dom way and losing my temper like that would leave me feeling sick for days.. Empress you have put a lot of research into this.

I don't think a relationship can be equal without switching. I was submissive all of this year. Because I finally trusted someone enough to be. It was interesting.. but we switched all the time.. prior to that I am always always in control of myself.
That is why after you degrade them, you need to remind them you didn't mean it in the end. That's why extreme play can be emotionally dangerous. There is a certain "high" that subs and Doms get. That's why after play, it's the best time where couples can be vulnerable and open up. Doms are responsible for their subs (subs also got to take of their Doms) and there is always clean-up, or whatever else they call it, after play.

Yes, lol, I have put a lot of research. I need to educate myself to whoop everyone's ignorant ass. :~)
 
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I find this BDSM and leather stuff disturbing. What's the appeal?
Why do people like scat, or whatever other fetish? You never know until you ask each individual their reason why they enjoy it. *shrugs* Not a good example, but you know what I mean hopefully. People are different, and it's beautiful.

(Just a heads up for everyone, there's a lot of healthy people who have never been abused that enjoy BDSM.)
 

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I could just never be that cruel.. I can see harming sadistically for fun.. I do that all the time.. but not with words. Cannot do it with words. I would feel sick and guilty.. unless I was doing it for a play/movie. I couldn't even do it if they begged me and wrote the lines for life. Back when I was a stylist they called me the "dom" and would tell me I was in the wrong work because I could make so much more crushing someones nuts with stilettos or yelling at them. But I could never stomach that work.
 
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On my 22nd birthday my particularly twisted De Sade fan of a friend told me in detail about ancient world bestiality..and I grew up watching bdsm and slave auctions, nothing usually fazes me.. but I wanted to kill him for the descriptions.. eek you brought me back there with that .. I am laughing.
 
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I could just never be that cruel.. I can see harming sadistically for fun.. I do that all the time.. but not with words. Cannot do it with words. I would feel sick and guilty.. unless I was doing it for a play/movie. I couldn't even do it if they begged me and wrote the lines for life. Back when I was a stylist they called me the "dom" and would tell me I was in the wrong work because I could make so much more crushing someones nuts with stilettos or yelling at them. But I could never stomach that work.
I understand completely, LeoCat. :)
 
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editorial note @Empress you're fucking awesome and I bet you are an 8 for sure even though it says type unknown.
 

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editorial note @Empress you're fucking awesome and I bet you are an 8 for sure even though it says type unknown.
Oh, I used to think so... But I don't know anymore. >_<

Thank you so much. :~) You're pretty amazing yourself, too!
 
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I originally made the choice to be submissive because I could sense how intimidated he was by me because of some emotional trauma he had been through not because he is a wimp..

and I wanted his trust more than anything because I had instantly trusted myself for the first time ever. So fucking weird someone ice cold their whole life suddenly gives a damn if they are trusted.
 

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Well explain how you find it disturbing? the idea of being out of control.. or the taboo aspect still in society?
Maybe the taboo part but not really. It looks like an outlet for seeing how sadistic and fucked up you can be, and get away with it.

Why do people like scat, or whatever other fetish? You never know until you ask each individual their reason why they enjoy it. *shrugs* Not a good example, but you know what I mean hopefully. People are different, and it's beautiful.

(Just a heads up for everyone, there's a lot of healthy people who have never been abused that enjoy BDSM.)
Well yea I assume it's because pleasure is derived from it. But why? (other than what I've gathered in my reply to LeoCat)
 
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