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I have such a hard time working for "the man." Lol. I know it sounds cliché but seriously. I'm told to "tone it down" so I do, then I am told that I am too cold and to warm up, so I do, and then suddenly I am too loud and unprofessional. What the hell do these people want?! I keep finding myself resentful every time I am told to be different from who I am. It is so hard for me not to be direct and loud. I was finally told that I shine too bright and I need to "glimmer." What does that even mean? Be a shadow of myself? I don't think so! It feels inauthentic and like a lack of integrity. Anyone else have this problem or ideas on how to fix it?
 

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Here is how I deal with it:
1.) Realization that the work world does not care about authenticity or integrity. Perception, pretty-speak, and ass-kissing matters first and more, unfortunately.
2.) Ask my 3-fix on pointers on "how to play the game". Ask my 9-wing on learning how to be passive aggressive.
3.) "Play the game" until I acquire enough resources to be on my own. Start applying for other jobs.
4.) Smile a lot! :D It's up to them to guess whether I'm trying to be genuinely agreeable, or I'm mocking them, or that I'm working on an exit plan, but I don't plan on being around for too long!
 

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Chatterbox, MOTM August 2013
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I have such a hard time working for "the man." Lol. I know it sounds cliché but seriously. I'm told to "tone it down" so I do, then I am told that I am too cold and to warm up, so I do, and then suddenly I am too loud and unprofessional. What the hell do these people want?! I keep finding myself resentful every time I am told to be different from who I am. It is so hard for me not to be direct and loud. I was finally told that I shine too bright and I need to "glimmer." What does that even mean? Be a shadow of myself? I don't think so! It feels inauthentic and like a lack of integrity. Anyone else have this problem or ideas on how to fix it?
Oh, hell no. You go ahead and shine. Brightly. People are going to get in your way. Figure out how to get around them.

What you need to do is learn how to pick your battles and work on your delivery. Don't let anyone push you around - stand up and fight if something is worth fighting for, but try not to alienate people if it doesn't benefit you in the long run. Weigh the benefit of having control in the short-term against being able to control the situation long-term. Even though you're not the boss, think like the boss and behave that way.

I've found that you can say pretty much anything if you word it right. Think what you want, but edit it before it comes out of your mouth. You have to learn to control your outbursts and learn to manipulate others' behavior to suit your purposes.

There were times when what I was thinking was, "you're really starting to piss me off right now, get the fuck out of my office." But, I learned to phrase it in a pleasant tone as "Unfortunately, we've reached an impasse here. Your idea, though it has merit, needs work. Take another look at it, and if you come up with something that overcomes the problems I've outlined, I'd be willing to reconsider it." It still converys who's in charge here, and doesn't make me look like an out of control hothead. :wink:

Also, when people try to challenge you, look at their aggression not as a sign of their strength, but rather as them revealing their weaknesses to you. Don't think of it as a battle, think of it as a reconnaissance mission. You're gathering intelligence you can use against them later. It works the other way, too. Don't give up your power by exposing your weaknesses. Make them try to take it from you. (good luck to them)
 

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Grumpy old bastard
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Perhaps the more important issue - why even care wtf people expect from you in the first place?
because when all done you probably have to work with some of them someday in the future.

I am COMPLETELY predictable. I will call it as I see ti, and people see me as a change agent. I am loyal to those I respect, and respectful to those I like.

I get hired to change shit. Sometimes I make a lot of money doing it.

I do ti because I am trusted by big hitters who know what I'll do for them.
 
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