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9s, childhood emotional neglect, parents with NPD

10744 Views 15 Replies 15 Participants Last post by  Lunar Lamp
I've been on a huge self-help kick for a few months now. I'm not sure if I'm reading too much into it (probably) but I keep finding articles like the following two that resonate strongly with me.

Do other 9s identify a lot with these two articles? (have to search in Google due to my low post count)
We Have Kids: The Long Term Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect
Psychology Today: 10 Signs of A Narcissistic Parent

I'm starting to wonder if I even am a 9 or if the way I am is a result of the way I grew up as much as it is a result of my inborn personality and perspective. I read these two articles and start nodding when I really think back to my childhood. My dad in particular meets almost all the requirements for NPD and to this day he still tries to control, guilt trip me, use me and constantly beg me for reassurance.

I associate strongly with a lot of the aspects of type 9... I've looked into Myers Briggs and got ISFJ as my type but none of that has resonated with me as strongly as type 9. But, am I reading into it too much? Is the enneagram a reflection of life experience or something inborn?

Interested in other perspectives...
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It might just be.

I grew up in a family where nobody talked about their emotions. My dad is closed as hell when it comes to his emotions. He just tends to drink it away in beer.
After my parents divorce I went with my mom and lived there for about 6 years.
Those were the worst 6 years of my life. My mom is incredibly controlling and nothing was ever good.
When other people came by to visit, she was like an angel to me, but whenever I was alone with my mom, she would stomp me into the ground. Causing me severe depression and substance abuse (Alcohol and weed). My education got fucked up due to it and my life pretty much was gone. The only thing I felt was emptiness and hatred.
After 6 years I finally stood up to myself and began to move against her. After advice of my uncle, I moved in with my dad. My dad can be pretty damn harsh in his words, and I feel like he does not understand how much impact my mom had on me. But just like my dad, I'm very closed too when it comes to my emotions, so I tend to solve it on my own.

To be honest, I think my mom might have NPD, but I'm not 100% sure.
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