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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Did this a while back and got typed as a 3. According to the information I provided, I would say that was a fair assessment. After doing some introspecting and becoming a bit more self-aware, I can confidently say that I am definitely not a 3. Would have to say I am stuck between 8w9 or 9w8 (possibly even 5) for core. 3 would be my heart fix but not sure about my head. Either 5 or 7; leaning towards 5.

Prerequisites


What age range are you in?

19

Any disorders or conditions we should know about?

Possible ADHD

Main Questions

1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.

Right now I would say my life isn't particularly about anything. Most of my time is spent researching, consuming media, and fantasizing or planning how I'd like my future to be. Guess I'm in a state of withdrawal which I can tolerate but loathe on a daily basis. Only thing that is driving me at the moment is to gain control of my life and acquire the necessary resources I need to become independent/self-sufficient. Might be a biased answer due to my current circumstances.

2. What were you like as a kid?

Would say I was easy-going, quiet, shy, aloof, goofy. Always had a problem listening to authority and following directions. Had an explosive temper which got me into trouble at times (once tried to throw my desk at a teacher for trying to force me to do an assignment that I thought was lame) but only on rare occasions. Most of my time was spent outside playing with neighbors, playing video games, watching TV, and reading.

3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?

Well, when I was younger, I always had problems with my Mother, who was aggressive, strict, and domineering. Often I was frightened of her anger and resented her controlling nature. Incurring her wrath was something I feared and a lot of my behavior was oriented towards avoiding punishment. There were plenty of times however when I would severely lose my temper and explode when she pushed me too far.As for my Father, he just let me do my own thing. We always had a good relationship (except now ironically). Closer to my Mother than my Father presently.

4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?

I'd like to avoid having to rely on people for the rest of my life or being a failure/worthless.

5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?

Guess I feared failure, rejection, and humiliation. Often I worried about doing something improperly or not being able to do something. Looking back at it now, guess most of it stemmed from lack of confidence, self-esteem, and insecurity. Some of these issues have persisted but only on a minor scale.

6. a.) How do you see yourself?

Moderately intelligent, laid-back, easy-going, good at communicating, direct, blunt, stubborn, hard-headed, opinionated, cynical, nihilistic, critical, dark, insensitive, logical, outspoken. Was told by my cousin that I'm generally quiet, even mellow, but with an explosive temper. He called me a "dog with no bark, all bite" which I thought was accurate. Mother says I'm easy-going but confrontational when I don't agree with something, which is also accurate.

b.) How do you want others to see you?

Don't know, I just want them to see me for who I am. I'd be content with being seen as a smart, competent, tough, and no-nonsense guy. Someone who has no doubts and perhaps even serene but not to be fucked with.

c.) What do you dislike the most in other people?

People who try to push me too far or are really insecure and worry too much. When people ignore reality in favor of maintaining a positive outlook instead of a realistic or truthful one. I don't like it when people try to pretend like shit isn't happening and try to tell me things aren't looking bad. Instead of trying to make the situation look better, I'd prefer it if people just accepted how the situation looked but focused on providing solutions to how it can be improved

7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others. (1)
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you (2)
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else. (3)

8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?

What I could be doing and what I desire, the people in my life, how I could better improve myself, reflecting on the past, planning out my future, personal interests.

9.What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

When everything is going exactly how I want it to be.

When things are falling apart and taking a turn for the worst.

10.
Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
a.) anger

Easily the emotion I relate to the most. It's rare for me to get angry but when I do, it's often intense and explosive. Actually, I get angry often with my family and I either express it immediately or ignore it. Most of the time however, I only get angry when someone is pushing me or trying to assert themselves across certain boundaries.

b.) shame

Don't often feel shame but when I do it's normally because of over-reacting and losing my temper to something trivial or totally out of proportion with how I should have responded. Usually I quickly rationalize the shame though and tell myself that whatever is causing myself to experience it was justified. Oh, also, sometimes I feel shame when I say things that are dishonest or inauthentic to who I am. It makes me feel like a phony and a liar, to both myself and others.


c.) anxiety

Normally I feel anxiety when I'm unprepared or caught off-guard. If I feel like I do not possess a sufficient amount of information, knowledge, or resources to overcome an obstacle, I can become wary of what might happen. Some social situations cause me anxiety as well.


11.
Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress

Get lost in activities (video games, TV, surf the internet, read, excercise), hang out and talk to friends, think, sometimes isolate myself depending on how stressed. Guess I'd say I kind of just deal with stress just like any other day, only with perhaps more emphasis on doing physical things.

b.) negative unexpected change

Probably would quietly rage for a while then focus on finding alternative options to deal with the change.

c.) conflict

Don't find myself in conflict too often. If I'm being pushed, I often react violently but for the most part I try not to escalate the situation. Either I respond with complete indifference and ignore the conflict or I confront it headstrong.

12.
a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?

Often I like to lead or at least set a track for the group to follow. Probably has to do with the control which I like to have because I hate being told what to do. Also I like to know how things are progressing and it frustrates me when I can't directly influence what's going on within the group.

b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?

I've never been put in power but I'd imagine I would take a pretty lax stance. Running a tight ship wouldn't be my thing. I would probably like to monitor behavior and progress, making sure everything is up to snuff. If there's problems and toes need to be stepped on, I would make sure to do it though I'd try to be as lenient as possible.

c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?

YES, absolutely. As I've said, I hate being told what to do and not being able to do things my way. Constantly submitting to other's wills and not being able to just "do my own thing" irritates me. Honestly, this makes me a bad team player because I have a "if you can do it yourself, then do it" mentality.

13.
What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?

I don't know, I guess general habits, likes and dislikes, their behaviors and motives.

14.
Comment on your relationship with trust.

Wouldn't really say I have trust issues. I'll trust someone unless they give me reasons not to. Though I do not like trusting others to do things that I could do myself.

15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?

Nah, only thing that may have influenced my answers is my current state of mind. Don't hold an religious or political beliefs.

EDIT: Changed the numbers for question #7, thought it was the opposite (3=most, 1=least).

EDIT#2: After doing a bit more thinking, I'm starting to see a strong connection to 5. 9w8 is still on the table though I see 5 over 9 now.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Don't see much in there that doesn't work with 9w8. I do not see core 8 at all and I doubt core 5.

This may help with 9 v 5: http://personalitycafe.com/type-9-forum-peacemaker/85408-type-5-a.html#post2636101
Yeah, I think I'm most comfortable with 9w8 out of the three options. There's a lot I relate to with 8w9 but overall, I think they're too aggressive and dominating, which, although I can be very aggressive, I'm not particularly dominating. However, there's a lot I don't relate to when it comes to 9w8.

For instance, the positive outlook triad. I never look for the silver lining in any situation, I'm a pretty strong pessimist. This is often where I butt heads with my 7w8 cousin (especially him) and 3w4 Mother, where they're constantly pointing out the positives to counteract my criticisms. Which also brings me to my cynical and nihilistic attitude. Often during conversations with my 1w9 friend, we are in disagreement over certain interpretations/perceptions of media, where he will try to "see the good in people", as opposed to myself, where I will always put a cynical spin on an individual's motives. He also likes to believe in a higher purpose or deeper meaning for life, where as I simply do not give a fuck if there is one and have abandoned religion long ago.

Aside from the above, the only other qualms I have with 9w8 that I can think of at the moment would be how very abrasive and unempathetic I am. Most people who really know me can say that I am an asshole. It's very hard for me to be compassionate towards other people. In fact, I'm very unaccomodating and egocentric, which is something that often rubs people the wrong way. Generally, I have a fairly strong lack of interest in other people and their lives, if something doesn't concern me or is out of my control, than I don't usually give a shit. If I can help, I will, but if I can't, I won't lose any sleep over it.

If it helps, I definitely know that I am self-preservation first, most likely sp/sx.
 

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In my mind the peaceful, empathetic aspect is often overemphasized in nine descriptions. I know a number of nines who are decidedly unemotional. My cousin would rather shoot guns and get drunk than have a touching moment, for example. A lot of that comes down to thinking vs feeling in MBTI, I would gander.

Personally I would say you really sound like a 9w8 to me. I can relate to a lot of what you mentioned, in the sense of not being overly positive, and especially about disagreeing with type 1s. You have to remember, that having an 8 wing rather than a 1 wing means that in a way you are leaning away from an intensely moralistic worldview, and more towards a harshly realistic one.

And as well, in my understanding 8w9's aren't necessarily about "explosive anger", that is generally a nine thing. Nines often to have the habit of: holding back the anger until it is impossible to ignore, then let it all out at once. I used to think I was immune to this but I really do exhibit that tendency at times. In a sense that is the "silver lining" aspect of nines - we ignore things that bother us, as the outward peacefulness of our situation is undisturbed.

In my understanding 8w9's are much more brash, even rude, in the way that they constantly assert their boundaries. 8w9's tend to err on the side of over-asserting their personal space, whereas 9w8's err on the side of under-asserting it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 · (Edited)
In my mind the peaceful, empathetic aspect is often overemphasized in nine descriptions. I know a number of nines who are decidedly unemotional. My cousin would rather shoot guns and get drunk than have a touching moment, for example. A lot of that comes down to thinking vs feeling in MBTI, I would gander.

Personally I would say you really sound like a 9w8 to me. I can relate to a lot of what you mentioned, in the sense of not being overly positive, and especially about disagreeing with type 1s. You have to remember, that having an 8 wing rather than a 1 wing means that in a way you are leaning away from an intensely moralistic worldview, and more towards a harshly realistic one.

And as well, in my understanding 8w9's aren't necessarily about "explosive anger", that is generally a nine thing. Nines often to have the habit of: holding back the anger until it is impossible to ignore, then let it all out at once. I used to think I was immune to this but I really do exhibit that tendency at times. In a sense that is the "silver lining" aspect of nines - we ignore things that bother us, as the outward peacefulness of our situation is undisturbed.

In my understanding 8w9's are much more brash, even rude, in the way that they constantly assert their boundaries. 8w9's tend to err on the side of over-asserting their personal space, whereas 9w8's err on the side of under-asserting it.
Wow, thanks a bunch dude! Hahaha, yeah, totally your cousin. Would MUCH rather drink booze and shoot guns than have a heart to heart with someone. Being all emotional and sentimental makes me feel uncomfortable, instead of sharing and talking about feelings, I'd rather just engage in activities and maybe have a philosophical or intellectual conversation while doing so. Definitely a very strong thinker.

Yeah, I think 9w8 suits me very well. Thanks for mentioning how the 8 wing makes an individual lean towards having a harsh, realistic view, that really helped clarify a lot. Being an Se Dom I think exacerbates the harshness and realism; personally, I think I'm more abrasive because of it. That's another thing that I often slap my 1w9 friend in the face with (he's INFP!), a heavy dose of "get fucking real". He often hears my criticism of his idealistic, totally unrealistic high standards (I think he's 1-3-5, triple competent), which usually is me asking him just how he plans on actually achieving them. He's the only person I know for sure is a 1 so I can't really say how much I get along with them, though I think even if could form an opinion on them, it would likely be biased due to my interactions with my INFP friend (I often disagree with INFPs).

Recently I think I did experience a moment where I under-asserted my boundaries and exploded because of it. My ESTP 7w8 cousin was drunk and kept asking for cigarettes, which I begrudgingly kept providing him with. He began to cook and asked me for perhaps a fifth cigarette, to which I responded by telling him "let's wait after we eat" as I grew increasingly irritated with his "over-indulgence" in my "hospitality". He responded with "no, I want one now" which led to me repeating my previous response. He then said again that he wanted a cigarette and asked why he couldn't have one now. I simply told him "because I said so". He then began to speak of how I've been greedy and ungrateful, being unappreciative of the food and drinks he's provided me, without giving anything back in return. He really pissed me the fuck off after saying that. I got up in his face and screamed at the top of my lungs "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!" then went on an angry tirade about how the cigarettes are mine and not his and if he thinks that just because he does things for me (without me asking him) means that I should relinquish control over my possessions, then he is dead fucking wrong and I will beat his ass if he tries to assert himself any further. Luckily, the situation diffused after about ten minutes of intense fighting, which likely would've escalated if it were not for my cousin's sticky living situation, preventing him from engaging in a physical altercation (man, I really wish he could've, that man deserves to get stomped on). He pretended like nothing happened while I just sat nearby seething, emotion hot on my face (honestly, the conflict felt good, I needed that intensity).

But yeah, there's only so much I can tolerate before I lose my temper. And when I do, it's always balls to the wall, I want to kill you mode.

EDIT: If anyone has seen the anime Durarara!, I would say I highly relate to Shizuo and he kind of reminds me of me (er, without the super-human strength and utter bad-assery). We both just want to have our peace but are down to brawl if that peace is violated. He even loses his jobs because of his temper, which happened to me with my last job haha.
 
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