I'm curious to hear from someone who has a nine with an eight wing how they see their eight effecting their nine dominance. I ask because, to me, 8 and 9 seem like two very contrasting ways of dealing with the world. When I took the written enneagram test, 9 was my highest score and 8 was my lowest, and my 1 scored in the middle between my highest and lowest scores. On the one hand, there's a peacemaker who wants everyone to get along but on the other hand there's a challenger who willfully confronts other people. How does that work? I hope it doesn't suggest to anyone that 9s are incapable of confrontation and such, but as a type which thesis is largely against there being any conflict, let alone dealing with it, I'm just at a loss of thought how a 9w8 deals with the world and in what ways a 9 sees a wing one as less prevalent in their personality over an eight.
9w8
[Enneagram Type 9]
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On the whole I don't like conflict, so if there is any and I can't avoid it (or feel like I should get involved) then I move swiftly to enter the conflict zone and diffuse the situation. The eight wing gives me the stamina to put up with highly charged situations and join or even lead the fight for a while. If, despite my efforts, the conflict is not resolved quickly, or it doesn't look like there is any headway being made, I go back to my dominant 9 strategy of withdrawing from the situation and blocking it out.
The 8 wing gives me the energy and confidence to fight fire with fire if necessary, though it's not my preferred strategy - I will always try to use diplomacy first.
It gives me a calm but strong "don't mess with me" edge which ensures that people don't use me as a doormat - very useful.
I think it also gives me an inconsistency when it comes to personal relationships - I want to merge with others but then when I realise I've gone too far that way I strike out against the dependency that I've created, wanting to be independant and totally in control of my own life.
Mostly it gives me a strong desire to protect the people who I feel can't stand up for themselves, which is a compulsion that I have to repress sometimes because my head tells me that in most instances it would be better all around for me to help them fight for themselves, rather than fighting on their behalf.
The 8 wing gives me the energy and confidence to fight fire with fire if necessary, though it's not my preferred strategy - I will always try to use diplomacy first.
It gives me a calm but strong "don't mess with me" edge which ensures that people don't use me as a doormat - very useful.
I think it also gives me an inconsistency when it comes to personal relationships - I want to merge with others but then when I realise I've gone too far that way I strike out against the dependency that I've created, wanting to be independant and totally in control of my own life.
Mostly it gives me a strong desire to protect the people who I feel can't stand up for themselves, which is a compulsion that I have to repress sometimes because my head tells me that in most instances it would be better all around for me to help them fight for themselves, rather than fighting on their behalf.
A 9w1 will fight few battles to try and improve others and preserve harmony more.
A 9w8 will fight more battles than the 9w1 to try and improve others.
I think that in a random conflict situation, a 9w1 would rather retreat and improve himself, while a 9w8 would rather fight it out, and bring both persons to a better situation. At least, that is my perspective on things, I could be wrong.
A 9w8 will fight more battles than the 9w1 to try and improve others.
I think that in a random conflict situation, a 9w1 would rather retreat and improve himself, while a 9w8 would rather fight it out, and bring both persons to a better situation. At least, that is my perspective on things, I could be wrong.
I get pissed off about conflict, but more that there is conflict than any thing else. I will lead the charge to fight only if I have shot making it back in to a peaceful situation. I also don't mind standing up for someone else, if it will not cause a conflict with that person, if you ask me for help in a conflict situation I will fight with you and for you very loyally and protectively. If it's just me in a conflict I retreat hide and say screw it, I shut down and go sloth, try to ignore it. When I admit to feeling anger I feel it as loop most of the time an internal, I'm pissed at the conflict, I'm pissed who started the conflict, I'm pissed at my self not doing anything, I'm pissed that situation just doesn't go away, I'm mad that it is conflict. yes it's that in a cycle it doesn't ever focus on a outside force or direction. If I'm standing up for someone in conflict, it manifests it as a undying urge to completely dominate the opponent in such a way to establish a lasting peace and protection.
9w8's are dragons get us mad and out of our cave and we won't stop til we know we have established peace for ourselves for a good period of time. We like our slumber in our peaceful cave.
9w8's are dragons get us mad and out of our cave and we won't stop til we know we have established peace for ourselves for a good period of time. We like our slumber in our peaceful cave.
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I had this issue http://personalitycafe.com/enneagram-personality-theory-forum/30373-am-i-8-9-5-a.html#post654614 just add a 5 to the mix
Then I realised I was a bit of a paradox.....
The 8 and 9 seem to be at odds but then again I always said that sometimes you have to fight for peace
I never pick fights but when I am in a position where I think I have to either in protection of myself or others I will rise to the occasion.
and I quote Quin Sabe as truth.
Then I realised I was a bit of a paradox.....
The 8 and 9 seem to be at odds but then again I always said that sometimes you have to fight for peace
I never pick fights but when I am in a position where I think I have to either in protection of myself or others I will rise to the occasion.
and I quote Quin Sabe as truth.
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This is my type, and even though the two are so different, it makes perfect sense. 9 is how I present myself to the outside world, but 8 is more how I present myself to myself. That's not to say that I don't value peace deep down, because I definitely do. I just have a rebellious side that is kept in check- and accentuated- by my peacemaking side. Everything's just balancing itself out
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Damn, girl. When feelin' alright, this is how I roll. Especially the bit about personal relationships. It's annoying and quite the contradiction! The wanting to create a union but also desiring independency. It totally blows my mind.
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I atleast have a definite 9w8 gut fix. But this is something that I'm quoting from another forum, that's why it sounds rather informal.
So 9w8s are basically just chill. And that attitude has to do with 8 wing.
The thing that had confused me about this is that making things out to not be such a big deal is also an 8 thing. I think the difference would be that an 8w9 would make something out to not be too hard to power through while a 9w8 would make something out to not be something that should get to them.
So 9w8s are basically just chill. And that attitude has to do with 8 wing.
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This is really interesting. I considered myself 1w9, but have been thinking I might be a type 9 anyway... The 'fire' in the 8 wing you described would explain my short fuse, which is why I went with dominant 1 instead of 9 at first. I'll definetely have to look into 9w8. :happy:
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I think I already have. :crazy: After reading up on it, I think I'm just not idealistic enough to be a 1. Or to even have a 1 wing. 9w8 seems to describe me to a T, however. I can somewhat relate to 9w1, but that's probably more because of the main type being 9. The 8 wing would explain my temper really well too, so yeah. 9w8 it is. :happy:
9w8 fits me more than anything honestly. I have been described numerous times as a very laid back person. I am very live, and let live. I have a long fuse, but certain things destroy my fuse... and then I explode, haha. I dont particularly like confrontation, but I will deal with it and face it more than the average person. But with that... sometimes when people are angry with me, and going off on me... and i put my 2 cents here and there... and then the other person involved starts assuming shit, and putting words in my mouth, or misinterprets what I say... Sometimes I retreat, and I dont defend my side anymore. I don't explain how they are missunderstanding what I said. I'm not sure if it is because I dont care, or if it is because I find it stupid to exhaust myself. Maybe thats the "9" in me taking over me, lol.
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I guess enneagram is more complicated than I thought... After researching for a couple days, I think I might actually be a 6. At first I thought the reason I identified with it was because of disintegration, but I find 6 actually fits me better most of the time, and I relate to 9 mostly through integration. Probably mistaked the occasional counter-phobic reactions for an 8 wing too. And I think I have a type 1 in my tritype, just not as the main type... 6w5 > 1w2 > 3w4 seems likely at this point. :mellow:
Any other 6's mistake themselves for 9's?
Any other 6's mistake themselves for 9's?
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What do you mean on disintegration? I might be a 6 too, I'm not sure...
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It's explained here: How the Enneagram Personality System Works
I think I've been a 9w8 my whole life although I think before I realized the importance of assertiveness I definitely had an unhealthy w1 attitude towards confrontation/conflict ("just forget about it"). I didn't really get too far into adolescence before realizing things can turn out FAR WORSE in the long run if you don't speak up before it's too late. I still struggle with it when my moods (INFP here) fluctuate into less confident/self-pitying/'big baby' territory.
I don't know, I love the 8 wing. I feel like it keeps me on track and kind of nips my unhealthy 9 tendencies in the bud. I like it when my 8 wing shines and gives strength to my 9ness... By the same token my 9 often "harnesses" my 8 before it gets too out of hand; There's a real pull on both sides for me but somehow it works. When I'm really feeling unhealthy it can kind of result in this weird sort of muddled thought combined with short fuse. It totally sucks.
There was this other thread I read on some other message board saying something about "going against some natural tendencies" which I feel describes it perfectly. I don't know if I'm the only 9 out there who really works to outright reject appearing lazy, slow, muddled... Reading about it kind of... Makes me feel really oppressed, which in turn triggers my anger. (On a side note: Does anyone else not think that 9s are essentially lazy? It seems more like a lack of motivation, as a result of not listening to yourself and thus ending up somewhere you don't really care about. It's such a hard hole to dig yourself out of, much less acknowledge. No?)
Anyway the 8 wing is mostly just a boost of energy, I like the strength it gives me even when I'm feeling small... It can kind of romanticize "the fight" when I'm in a rough situation, but on the other hand it motivates me to take action and protect myself/my loved ones. I really feel like it brings a boost to my 3 mode when I get really on a roll... Which is a nice feeling!
I don't know, I love the 8 wing. I feel like it keeps me on track and kind of nips my unhealthy 9 tendencies in the bud. I like it when my 8 wing shines and gives strength to my 9ness... By the same token my 9 often "harnesses" my 8 before it gets too out of hand; There's a real pull on both sides for me but somehow it works. When I'm really feeling unhealthy it can kind of result in this weird sort of muddled thought combined with short fuse. It totally sucks.
There was this other thread I read on some other message board saying something about "going against some natural tendencies" which I feel describes it perfectly. I don't know if I'm the only 9 out there who really works to outright reject appearing lazy, slow, muddled... Reading about it kind of... Makes me feel really oppressed, which in turn triggers my anger. (On a side note: Does anyone else not think that 9s are essentially lazy? It seems more like a lack of motivation, as a result of not listening to yourself and thus ending up somewhere you don't really care about. It's such a hard hole to dig yourself out of, much less acknowledge. No?)
Anyway the 8 wing is mostly just a boost of energy, I like the strength it gives me even when I'm feeling small... It can kind of romanticize "the fight" when I'm in a rough situation, but on the other hand it motivates me to take action and protect myself/my loved ones. I really feel like it brings a boost to my 3 mode when I get really on a roll... Which is a nice feeling!
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I feel like I'm the only Sensor here.
Ps. I bumped into this
EnneagramCentral.com explains these types marvelously, using great examples.
Source:
Type Nine (Healthy/Unhealthy)
Self-Preservation Nine
Sexual (Intimate) Nine
Type Eight (Healthy/Unhealthy)
Ps. I bumped into this
So I thought I was a six-five, but really, I'm a Nine SP SX with an Eight wing.
EnneagramCentral.com explains these types marvelously, using great examples.
Source:
Type Nine (Healthy/Unhealthy)
Self-Preservation Nine
Sexual (Intimate) Nine
Type Eight (Healthy/Unhealthy)
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Honestly? I don't know. I think it's just the cause of my very quick temper, that's all.
It hasn't manifested itself in any other way, unfortunately.
*sigh*
It hasn't manifested itself in any other way, unfortunately.
*sigh*
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