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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay... Maybe this is a little inappropriate because I'm still a new member, and this is my second thread (the first one was the introduction), but lately I'm not having a good time, and I need help. I'll do my best to explain everything, because I don't think I know how to write properly, specially with another language instead my mother tongue. Here I go...

Years ago, when I was in high school, I was a girl with no worries about the future. I was always living in the present, and all I was thinking about was my crush in that time, my usual duties (you know, homework, essays... Stuff for school), to have time to draw, and the series I wanted to watch. I didn't even take seriously my decision for my career because of two facts:

1) I just thought "Well... I like English, so I guess Modern Languages is the right one for me. It's just learning how to translate and stuff related to that. Everything will be fine. My only problem will be the another language, but it's just a matter of choosing the right one. It's okay". I didn't even do a research about the schedule of each year to know about the subjects.

2) The pressure of my family. My dad wanted me to be a systems engineer like him, but I hate math and physics. I've always preferred the artistic area. My mom was more conscious, she told me that I could decide what I want... But then she added "but it must be a good career, because what matters in the future is to earn money to be independent". I kept these thoughts on my mind, and I decided to choose a "serious" career to not disappoint my parents.

I turned 17, some months later I got graduated from high school. After vacations, I started college. During two years, everything was okay, I was learning more about english, french (that was the second language I chose), even spanish. I was learning about culture and history, it was pretty interesting. Then, at third year... Everything changed. I started to learn what was the career about, and I was not interested... I didn't like what I was learning. In addition to that, I had serious problems with my parents (specially with my dad), and I fell on depression... I was not motivated to do anything for months. I even had problems with going with a psychologist because my parents thought that I was "crazy", and when I had the opportunity to go, the university went to a strike. All I could do was to talk with a friend who was studying psychology in college, so she could help me.

Months later, I felt a little more motivated. I decided to give myself a second chance, because I thought my lack of motivation about the career was the atmosphere and the situation itself with my family. Time passed, I was repeating third year, but... I still felt the same, I was not interested. I preferred to draw in class instead of learning. The only class I was kinda excited about was one referred to the audiovisual area, but it's an optional class, and a veeeery hard to take. I didn't want to go to classes... It feels like going to high school to learn about physics or math.

In conclussion... I don't know what to do. I've talked with my mom about the situation, and she's truly not satisfied about what I like. She often talk to me about how powerful would I feel when people tell me about how interesting my career is. In fact, she's trying to convince me... Maybe she's thinking I'm passing through a "phase" or something like that. My dad still doesn't know about what I like... Because I can't talk properly with him. He always thinks he's right, and everyone else is wrong... In everything. When I had problems with him, he threated me with kicking me out of the house, just because I wanted to travel to another state for ONE DAY to hang out with my boyfriend (that problem is still there, though. But it's another story, maybe I will talk about it in another occasion). If he treated me like that... Like I'm just her daughter to obey and give a good image to the family, I'm almost pretty sure he will consider to kick me out of the house again. I don't have any other place to go, and this country (Venezuela) is having the worst crisis in history. I can't work to pay the education, much less to live by myself in an apartment. Even with a roommate is impossible, because the salary is about 14$ monthly, and the rent costs about 80$ monthly... For each person, that is around 160$. It's a nightmare.

I just want to feel accepted for who I am... Not for who they want me to be. I want to be supported to reach my goal, I really want to be an illustrator. I don't know what I can do without getting a big trouble. I was such a stupid... And maybe I still am. :sad:
 

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It sucksssssss, right? How parents treat their sons. It's like they playing with barbies instead of being parents :bored:

I understand everything you said. I think you should do what you want. And, if you don't get their support in any way, you'll just have to do things yourself. You like drawing, want to be an ilustrator. I think that's amazing! If we all were doing what we love and are good at, the world would be so much better :sad:
 

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Edgelord
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To be fair the best thing you can do right now would be trying to do more art commisions, for example. That would be a significant economic help to your house, but if your father doesn't recognize it then I just don't know. He needs therapy, that's for sure.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
To be fair the best thing you can do right now would be trying to do more art commisions, for example. That would be a significant economic help to your house, but if your father doesn't recognize it then I just don't know. He needs therapy, that's for sure.
I'm on it, that's for sure... I'll try, but if I'm not recognized for that, I won't know what to do, honestly.
 

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Edgelord
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I'm on it, that's for sure... I'll try, but if I'm not recognized for that, I won't know what to do, honestly.
Well if you can keep a steady income by freelancing then you have the chance to move... The main problem is, of course, keeping it steady.

But you clearly love art, you want to improve and you have talent, I believe in you and your dreams :love_heart:
 

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Edgelord
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Oh, and btw, have you considered music or another form of art as an alternative/complement?
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Oh, and btw, have you considered music or another form of art as an alternative/complement?
I wish I could have another alternative like music. I remember when I was on piano lessons, I was a child... But I quitted it because I thought high school was very hard. Now I'm regretting of that dumb decision because today I could have been an expert with the instrument.
 

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Edgelord
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I wish I could have another alternative like music. I remember when I was on piano lessons, I was a child... But I quitted it because I thought high school was very hard. Now I'm regretting of that dumb decision because today I could have been an expert with the instrument.
It's never too late to learn again. Did you enjoy piano? Do you think you'd love to pick it up again?
 

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Edgelord
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I really enjoyed piano, but... To be good at it takes about 10 years or more of lessons, and I'm 21...
You could take it as a hobby, maybe... Have you considered writing? I like how you write.
 

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@Rainbowphin I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I'd say your parent's are the ones who need therapy. This such bullshit, telling people they can't make money with something. There is no such thing as a safe career these days. But I'm not sure I understand what you'r studying. You mentioned doing English and French and then Audiovisual systems. Are you doing languages and systems engineering?

My father wasn't on board when I was choosing my major, but it was mostly due to the fact that he didn't know what it is. He didn't understand what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. Now it's years later and he keeps telling me he's proud of what I have achieved. I bet lots of artists, writers, ethnologists, anthropologists, philosophers were laughed at initially. But the laughing stops once you are successful ad prove that you can make a living with your passion. University shouldn't be about just passing an exam after another. It should be a learning experience, it should allow you to meet like-minded people and form lifetime friendships. It's about getting broad skills, like structuring your thoughts, think critically and independently. These days universities are too much about training people for jobs. You will have to get training for specific jobs later anyway.

And remember: you are still very young. 21 is nothing. You are still finding out who you are. If you like the piano, practice wehn you have time. Maybe you'll notice in a few years that you'r pretty good instead of thinking "if I start now it will be 10 years before I'm any good". You won't know unless you take action. Have you maybe tried looking for people who can tell you about becoming an llustrator?

This is probably not much help, but have you thought about doing a student exchange like Erasmus? It would be a good opportunity to get away from your parents and figure things out on your own. I'm not sure if your parents are aware of it, but putting so much pressure on you, they risk losing contact with you. My parents are pressuring me for grandkids recently as a result I'm going home less and don't talk to them as often as I did. It's never good to project your expectations on other people.

And one more sentence as an encouragement, which I read somewhere recently: Remember, if you don't actually do what you love and are good at, you are robbing the world of your talents. There are and always be people who want to see art and hear music. Don't forget that.
 

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oh shit, poor you :/
I cant give you much of a advise or help you out. I am in a very similar situation, career and family wise but not as bad as you.
All I can do is to say: Good luck!!!

Can your boyfriend help you anyhow? could you move to him or something?
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Hello! Sorry for the late reply. First of all, I'll answer your questions:

But I'm not sure I understand what you'r studying. You mentioned doing English and French and then Audiovisual systems. Are you doing languages and systems engineering?
I'm studying Modern Languages. When I mentioned the Audiovisual Area, it's because you can be an Audiovisual Translator, that is to say, to translate movies or tv series. I was interested in that one, but not anymore since I found what I really want to be.

Have you maybe tried looking for people who can tell you about becoming an llustrator?
Yes, I have some friends who were studying Illustration for a while. There are some institutions here to reach a degree, but it's veeeeery expensive. Also, you need to buy many materials to draw that are expensive too. That's what it stops me, because they advertised me how hard it is, but I don't care about it at all. Every career has its difficuties, what it matters is if you enjoy what are you doing. For now, I'm just taking lessons on the internet by watching video tutorials and practicing, that's all I can do.

This is probably not much help, but have you thought about doing a student exchange like Erasmus? It would be a good opportunity to get away from your parents and figure things out on your own. I'm not sure if your parents are aware of it, but putting so much pressure on you, they risk losing contact with you. My parents are pressuring me for grandkids recently as a result I'm going home less and don't talk to them as often as I did. It's never good to project your expectations on other people.
Excuse me, I kinda don't know what you're talking about. What is Erasmus exactly? I have knowledge of some study exchanges, but I think I have heard something like it's not applied for this country anymore, so I don't have any experience about it :confused:

My parents aren't aware of it, actually. They think I'm being a rebel for not wanting to do what they want me to do. The only person who kinda understand is my mom, but in the end... If my dad doesn't approve something, she can't do anything for it, and she gets upset because I'm wasting time by "doing nothing". It's complicated.


By the way, your words inspired me to keep doing what I love to do. Specially this last sentence:

Remember, if you don't actually do what you love and are good at, you are robbing the world of your talents. There are and always be people who want to see art and hear music. Don't forget that.
In hard times like these, it is necessary to get support and inspiration to not give up. Thank you :love_heart:
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
oh shit, poor you :/
I cant give you much of a advise or help you out. I am in a very similar situation, career and family wise but not as bad as you.
All I can do is to say: Good luck!!!

Can your boyfriend help you anyhow? could you move to him or something?

Yes, it sucks. Specially when it seems that I'm one of the very few people who are going through this, it's frustrating...

And no, my boyfriend can't help me. He lives with his grandma, and she doesn't approve me because of another thing that happened last year. All he can do for now is to give me support.

Thanks for the good wishes :love_heart:
 

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Hello! Sorry for the late reply. First of all, I'll answer your questions:

I'm studying Modern Languages. When I mentioned the Audiovisual Area, it's because you can be an Audiovisual Translator, that is to say, to translate movies or tv series. I was interested in that one, but not anymore since I found what I really want to be.
Oh, thanks for clarifying. Shows how little I know about that :)

Yes, I have some friends who were studying Illustration for a while. There are some institutions here to reach a degree, but it's veeeeery expensive. Also, you need to buy many materials to draw that are expensive too. That's what it stops me, because they advertised me how hard it is, but I don't care about it at all. Every career has its difficuties, what it matters is if you enjoy what are you doing. For now, I'm just taking lessons on the internet by watching video tutorials and practicing, that's all I can do.
I always hate when people are being negative and discouraging. Some people in my field also keep being negative and say stuff like you're not going to get a job, it's hard work, etc., even though they have jobs and don't earn bad money for it (in my opinion) but maybe it's bever enough for some people. And you are absolutely right. Every career has its ups and downs. There are some difficult times even for people who are doing what they love. But the important thing is that the good outweighs the bad.

Btw. do you have an online account somewhere where you could upload your work for people to see? I think there is a website called deviant art, where you can get some feedback and maybe some recognition. Or perhaps starting a blog?

I wasn't even aware that you have to get a degree to be an illustrator. Again, shows how little I know. I thought talent is the most important part of it. Is there any way you could get a scholarship? Or have you actually considered getting a job that's less fun for a while and save up, or doing the course part-time?

Excuse me, I kinda don't know what you're talking about. What is Erasmus exactly? I have knowledge of some study exchanges, but I think I have heard something like it's not applied for this country anymore, so I don't have any experience about it :confused:
Sorry, I forgot Erasmus is only for EU Students :( but there have to be other organisations that offer scholarships for a semester abroad. You can try asking at your uni, or look at Spanish websites. I did a little search, but I mostly find stuff for students wanting to do a semster in Venezuela. Especially if you're studying modern languages there should be an option to spend some time in a foreign country to perfect the language. A friend of mine was studying French and Spanish and she had to do a semester abroad. She went to Mexico. Living in a different country for a while may give you a different perspective.

My parents aren't aware of it, actually. They think I'm being a rebel for not wanting to do what they want me to do. The only person who kinda understand is my mom, but in the end... If my dad doesn't approve something, she can't do anything for it, and she gets upset because I'm wasting time by "doing nothing". It's complicated.
Yeah, it is complicated, but I know what you mean. My mother also thinks she has no voice, because my father earns more money. Well, I could tell my parents directly that they should stop with the annoying pressure, because I don't depend on them anymore and while it sucks for all of us, they have to understand that people have different priorities in life and their way might not be your way.

By the way, your words inspired me to keep doing what I love to do.
In hard times like these, it is necessary to get support and inspiration to not give up. Thank you :love_heart:
#

I'm glad I could help a little to cheer you up. I wish you all the best :happy:
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I always hate when people are being negative and discouraging. Some people in my field also keep being negative and say stuff like you're not going to get a job, it's hard work, etc., even though they have jobs and don't earn bad money for it (in my opinion) but maybe it's bever enough for some people. And you are absolutely right. Every career has its ups and downs. There are some difficult times even for people who are doing what they love. But the important thing is that the good outweighs the bad.
It happens because people think they're seeing "the reality". But, in moments like this, they're just being pessimistic, and even when sometimes life sucks, we need to see the bright side. Sometimes, we're just blind and we can't see the possitive part of things, which is very important. I have been depressed for a while, and I know what it feels like, but I'm sure my friends (at least the ones who told me what's the career about) aren't depressed at all, because they're still living, they're working, they can sleep well. I couldn't do any of that for a while. I just went to college because I didn't want my parents to be upset with me, but sometimes I didn't go to classes, instead of it, I took naps because of my lack of sleep. I didn't even want to see anybody in the hallways (in fact, a few people have told me why I was not in classes anymore. I replied that I was having problems with my family. Nothing else, because I knew they were just curious to gossip or I don't know, they were not interested in helping me). I was feeling like I'm nothing, but an useless being. I can't help but getting kinda upset everytime I see someone complaining, and "confirming" they have depression.

Anyway, what you said is absolutely right.

Btw. do you have an online account somewhere where you could upload your work for people to see? I think there is a website called deviant art, where you can get some feedback and maybe some recognition. Or perhaps starting a blog?
In fact, I have a DeviantArt account, and a Facebook page. You can check it out if you're interested (I have been inactive lately because of the situation with my family, but I'll upload something soon)

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Maruren-1009155199143651/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel (In this page I post only in spanish, so maybe you won't understand it at all. You can visit just to see my drawings :pinkface:)

DeviantArt account: Rainbowphin (Marlene) - DeviantArt

I wasn't even aware that you have to get a degree to be an illustrator. Again, shows how little I know. I thought talent is the most important part of it. Is there any way you could get a scholarship? Or have you actually considered getting a job that's less fun for a while and save up, or doing the course part-time?
You can get a scholarship in a few institutions, but like I said, it's very expensive. In the beginning I thought about getting a work, because in some of them they pay to you a bigger amount of the minimum salary (it can be weird to you to read this... That's because in here there are no laws. Practically, people do almost whatever they want without getting caught by the police. The security here is awful and the police doesn't do their work. They're allied with the muggers), but the inflation is so high (the last time I checked out... It was around 200% in comparison to last year) that it's impossible to get the money for the inscription. It doesn't help either the fact that, monthly, the prices of everything increases. It sounds like a dystopian story, but sadly... That's how we're living right now. That's why I feel lost.

I have been thinking about the course part-time, though. It's the option I can choose for now.

Sorry, I forgot Erasmus is only for EU Students :( but there have to be other organisations that offer scholarships for a semester abroad. You can try asking at your uni, or look at Spanish websites. I did a little search, but I mostly find stuff for students wanting to do a semster in Venezuela. Especially if you're studying modern languages there should be an option to spend some time in a foreign country to perfect the language. A friend of mine was studying French and Spanish and she had to do a semester abroad. She went to Mexico. Living in a different country for a while may give you a different perspective.
Mhm... I need to investigate more about this, I'm interested. I'm sure in my school they don't apply this method to learn more about languages but another one that's quite similar. You go to another country, and you have a guaranteed work for a while as a Spanish Teacher. The hard part is, again, the money... And the residency. I don't have family outside the country.

Yeah, it is complicated, but I know what you mean. My mother also thinks she has no voice, because my father earns more money. Well, I could tell my parents directly that they should stop with the annoying pressure, because I don't depend on them anymore and while it sucks for all of us, they have to understand that people have different priorities in life and their way might not be your way.
You're right, I have to talk clearly with my parents, but I'm not courageous enough because I'm afraid of being kicked out of my house. :sad:

I'm glad I could help a little to cheer you up. I wish you all the best :happy:
Don't worry, I'm glad you took your time to read all of this. Seriously, thank you. :love_heart:
 

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In fact, I have a DeviantArt account, and a Facebook page. You can check it out if you're interested (I have been inactive lately because of the situation with my family, but I'll upload something soon)

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Maruren-1009155199143651/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel (In this page I post only in spanish, so maybe you won't understand it at all. You can visit just to see my drawings :pinkface:)

DeviantArt account: Rainbowphin (Marlene) - DeviantArt
I actually used to be fluent in Spanish. I've forgotten a lot though. When you don't practice, languages fade.

Anyway, I like your drawings. I don't know anything about art and I can't draw anything. I literally have absolutely not talent when it comes to drawing so I'm always impressed when I look at artistic work. So you like BioShock, I take it? I like it too, but it took me a while until I knew how not to die every 2 minutes :tongue:

You can get a scholarship in a few institutions, but like I said, it's very expensive. In the beginning I thought about getting a work, because in some of them they pay to you a bigger amount of the minimum salary (it can be weird to you to read this... That's because in here there are no laws. Practically, people do almost whatever they want without getting caught by the police. The security here is awful and the police doesn't do their work. They're allied with the muggers), but the inflation is so high (the last time I checked out... It was around 200% in comparison to last year) that it's impossible to get the money for the inscription. It doesn't help either the fact that, monthly, the prices of everything increases. It sounds like a dystopian story, but sadly... That's how we're living right now. That's why I feel lost.

I have been thinking about the course part-time, though. It's the option I can choose for now.

Mhm... I need to investigate more about this, I'm interested. I'm sure in my school they don't apply this method to learn more about languages but another one that's quite similar. You go to another country, and you have a guaranteed work for a while as a Spanish Teacher. The hard part is, again, the money... And the residency. I don't have family outside the country.
Damn, that sounds rough. It's crazy that none of it is broadcasted here. I found some information online and photos of huge lines in front of supermarkets but I had to dig for it in the internet.

I guess I can't give you any advice concerning work, because I have no idea how the reality looks like in Venezuela. Normally I would say try looking for a job and your own place so that you can separate yourself from your parents for a bit, but I don't know to what extent that's possible for you. Is the pay as a Spanish teacher abroad so bad that you can't rent a room?

You're right, I have to talk clearly with my parents, but I'm not courageous enough because I'm afraid of being kicked out of my house. :sad:

Don't worry, I'm glad you took your time to read all of this. Seriously, thank you. :love_heart:
I really can't imagine how hard it must be for you. Maybe think of a way to present your situation to your parents rationally, if the emotions do not appeal to them. Maybe present some evidence that people can make a living from what you want to do and that you are willing to compromise, e.g. to take a part-time job you don't love for a while. Maybe this way your parents would see that you are serious and it's not just some kind of a rebellion.

Anyway, I'm rooting for you from Germany. If you need some words of support, you know where to find me :wink:
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I actually used to be fluent in Spanish. I've forgotten a lot though. When you don't practice, languages fade.

Anyway, I like your drawings. I don't know anything about art and I can't draw anything. I literally have absolutely not talent when it comes to drawing so I'm always impressed when I look at artistic work. So you like BioShock, I take it? I like it too, but it took me a while until I knew how not to die every 2 minutes :tongue:
To be honest, I haven't played the game, and I can't either, my computer doesn't have a good RAM to run it properly. These drawings were a part of my first commission!

Thank you for checking these pages! I'm glad you liked my drawings :kitteh:

Damn, that sounds rough. It's crazy that none of it is broadcasted here. I found some information online and photos of huge lines in front of supermarkets but I had to dig for it in the internet.

I guess I can't give you any advice concerning work, because I have no idea how the reality looks like in Venezuela. Normally I would say try looking for a job and your own place so that you can separate yourself from your parents for a bit, but I don't know to what extent that's possible for you. Is the pay as a Spanish teacher abroad so bad that you can't rent a room?
Do you mean, in Venezuela? If that's the case, yes... Actually, one of the worst paid careers in actuality is Education (to be a teacher, obviously). That's why it's a problem to find teachers in here, they need to have two jobs. It's obligatory because otherwise you won't survive after one week of your payment. In other countries it shouldn't be worse than here, I guess.

I really can't imagine how hard it must be for you. Maybe think of a way to present your situation to your parents rationally, if the emotions do not appeal to them. Maybe present some evidence that people can make a living from what you want to do and that you are willing to compromise, e.g. to take a part-time job you don't love for a while. Maybe this way your parents would see that you are serious and it's not just some kind of a rebellion.

Anyway, I'm rooting for you from Germany. If you need some words of support, you know where to find me :wink:
That's what I'm doing. I've been practicing more my drawings to be more recognized by people, have more commissions, and gain money to prove my parents that being a illustrator is not an "useless" job. The only problem I have is the time. Time is running fast, and I'm honestly doing my best to get better. Maybe I must find a job or something to "do something useful" before getting my parents upset. :confused:

I'll take that in consideration! Thank you so much for answering me this whole time. :proud:

Greetings from Venezuela! :wink:
 
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