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Discussion Starter #1
At the end of the last semester, we could write something, anything about "a dream/wish that could change something".

Of course, for the majority, it was rather boring, there have been countless stories about a character that really wished for something and achieved it, I was depressed at the time and wrote something about wishless hopelessness, because when you wish for nothing, it's somehow hopeless... I'm babbling alerady.

Anyways, I found the idea interesting - can you change the real world with your thoughts alone? How far do you have to go to make a change? How much do you have to sacrifice from your ideal to fine-tune your idea into the reality?

I'm still on it after a rather long time... So I wanted to ask you - have you alerady made a wish or had a dream that changed something? Did you see the world around you changing with just an idea?
 

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My opinion is that the world doesn't change on a dream or wish. These certainly can be the seeds of change, but until action is applied, it's nothing more than a thought.

As far as personal experience, I teach in alternative ed. A lot of students don't realize they've been given a unique opportunity to turn their lives around. So my goal is to expand their worldview. I want them to see that their world is bigger than where they grew up, that their decisions are more than doing what their parents have done before them, and that they can dare to be the first to achieve things.

In terms of action, it isn't a lot of me doing things. It's mostly about being a supportive listener and understanding what their needs are. Many students have vague goals, but they need help negotiating life skills they've never tackled before (applying for jobs/scholarships/colleges, budgeting, getting support services to kick drugs habits, get out of gangs, etc). Just helping them learn about how things work, and how to get from Point A to Point B has made the most difference. But the fact remains, it isn't just about having a wish for them. I had to actively counsel and teach them to get any traction on the wish.

As far as sacrificing ideals, I suppose that is rather common. In my perfect world, I'd be able to give all my students the best start possible in life. But frequently that just isn't the case. I can't give someone motivation. They have to want something for themselves. I can't undo any of their life decisions. Many of them are weighed down with the baggage they are carrying from bad decisions. And I can't force them to expand their thinking. So many sell themselves short because they don't think they can accomplish anything bigger than what their parents have accomplished.

It's absolutely frustrating. But I try to focus on the small victories and (sometimes!) the larger ones. I just finished my 9th year of teaching. I've had 3 students that didn't think they would graduate high school invite me to their college graduations. One student called me to tell me she's managing a store. We laughed because it took months for her to learn how to budget and balance a checkbook. Now she's doing it on a professional level. Last year I attended the kindergarten graduation of a child of one of my former students. She's already trying to teach her daughter how important education is, and the little girl is a bookworm. I felt like I got to see the effect on the next generation for the first time.

I can see those seeds starting to grow. I'm hopeful of what the ripple effect will be.
 

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@Windblownhair You re welcome, poet :D

In more than one sense I relate to your story, and the frustration, but also that amazing feeling when you feel that you make them advance.

I'm a social worker since eleven years. Helping more or less desperate people to find jobs, between going in holiday camps and I can't get enough of it ! simply because, when you re there, with all of these little things and remind them what it is to connect on a different level, to let internet, the smartphones and all of that on the side, and give them that virus ... you know ? that very contagious virus, you can see the joy in their eyes. You can see them spreading it out. And the most amazing thing is when they say that they wanna do the same thing.

The memories. The future. Creating something bright. My dad is also a social worker, since a good twenty years now and I definitely see and understand why he's so passionate about it.

It's soul crushing when you give people golden opportunities, and then you fathom the crash and burn. It's always something

You got that flame in you. On top of that fairy who don't want to grow old =) and it's just all kind of marvelous :kitteh:
 

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@Sygma
It's wonderful to see that drive to help others passed down to you. The few social workers I know on a personal level all have that same combination of passion, caring, and resiliency. They're absolutely gutted when they can't make a difference, but they keep pushing on for those individual success stories. It seems like a really taxing job and I respect those that do it with all their hearts.

I'm sure your dad is very proud.

OP, in regards to your original question, it seems like the trend with INFJs (and NFs at large) is to have very people-centric dreams. The desire to help others can be very rewarding, but the downside is that it tends to limit the scope of what we can do.

My husband works in the IT department of a big corporation. When he makes policy or system changes, he influences hundreds and even thousands of people at once. He comes home on those days incredibly pumped. Being able to make systems more efficient, to streamline practices to get the best possible outcome is so rewarding for him.

The vastness of how many people he can affect blows me away. It's just not something I'm ever able to do with my line of work. To enact a change that daily helps so many people in a practical way is pretty amazing.

The funny thing is, his dreams aren't the same. He doesn't dream about people. He dreams about processes, and systems, and innovating in a way to make it best for everyone. System first, human element second.

It's fascinating to see how people create and enact dreams in such different ways.
 

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@Windblownhair

I admire your dedication. As someone who has problems to achieve my goals in education due to financial problems and without the support of my family, people like you are who keeps me going, who I can somehow trust and who help me when I'min the deepest lows of my depression. The story about the students inviting you to their graduation legitimately made me cry... It has to be amazing - for the students and for you. A very hard and demanding but also fulfilling and rewarding job. It's mind-blowing that you do something like this for nine years alerady and obviously consider it something automatic, that you just do because you see a purpose in it... I can't really explain.

In the last three weeks, I started offering free help with German for refugees here in Austria... It's amazing, even though it technically "steals" my whole summer holidays. I can see the change that I'm making - we learn outside instead of sitting in some room and feeling like we were trapped in a glass-house, I see that some of those for which it was a chore they had to do and that was hard is changing in motivation and ethusiasm - I'm going to miss this job when the schools stars.

As for NFs and the comparision with your husband you wrote about - I think it's his care about systems (where people come second) that allows him to help many people at once. I have the need to connect with someone or some cause and help the specific people, or the idea I have about some group... I can't imagine just doing something for an unspecific group I'll never be able to meet and communicate with - and that's why I'm never going to be a part of such an industry.

And by the way, I love they way you write. I guess I can't appreciate it fully, my English isn't good at all but it's flowing, with interesting words here and there, it's all delightful to read (I remember your posts from other threads too, it just stands out).
 

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@keinalu Thank you for your sweet words. It really means a lot.

Hang in there! I'm sorry that you don't have the family or financial support in your education. It makes a tough road tougher. I hope you're able to gather a support system around you.

It's so lovely that you've already found the kind of work that brings you meaning and joy. Selflessly giving up your summers to help someone else says a lot about the kind of person you are. I wish you all the best in pursuing your dream!




 

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OP, in regards to your original question, it seems like the trend with INFJs (and NFs at large) is to have very people-centric dreams. The desire to help others can be very rewarding, but the downside is that it tends to limit the scope of what we can do.

My husband works in the IT department of a big corporation. When he makes policy or system changes, he influences hundreds and even thousands of people at once. He comes home on those days incredibly pumped. Being able to make systems more efficient, to streamline practices to get the best possible outcome is so rewarding for him.

The vastness of how many people he can affect blows me away. It's just not something I'm ever able to do with my line of work. To enact a change that daily helps so many people in a practical way is pretty amazing.

The funny thing is, his dreams aren't the same. He doesn't dream about people. He dreams about processes, and systems, and innovating in a way to make it best for everyone. System first, human element second.

It's fascinating to see how people create and enact dreams in such different ways.
IT is such a great thing as technology opens up many possible ways to improve the world and it isn't necessarily hard to achieve. :) I'm a programmer, and am thinking of creating an app that will contribute to a change for better, for many people.

And sometimes we don't even need a big change. Small changes can be relevant too. An ocean is formed by many small drops.
 
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