(Please note, i didnt realise this post would be so unbelievably long, feel free to skip parts and skim the boring parts, im just determined to get to the bottom of this)
Hey everyone here at personality cafe, i've known about the mbti theory for a while now but only recently got interested, iv'e taken a few tests but the results that i get are never quite accurate, frequently change and are quite varied and im having quite a bit of difficulty deciding which type i actually am and i would greatly appreciate it if you guys on this fourm could help me out in getting to know my type. I am aware of the cognitive functions (Ne, Se, Fi, Fe, Ti etc) but even with them, i am having significant difficulty in deciding which ones i use and in which order.
I'll start off by saying that ever since i was a small child, i had interests and obsessions that were seen as very unusual for my age. i never showed any interest in traditional toys and instead was heavily interested and obsessed with electrical appliances (in particular electrical fans, lights, and different forms of extension leads). i dont know if thats related to type at all but i thought i should throw it in there.
when i was in primary school, i was an absolute geek obsessed with doctor who and runescape and had an extremely unusual dress code (t-shirts/jumpers compulsively tucked into shorts/trackpants everyday. I was also a devout christian (raised that way) who would obsessively never brake rules, litter, swear (even minor words) and i would often brake down into tears when falsely accused. I was also quite the idealist who hated animal cruelty and bullying. I received a great deal of judgement and ridicule for all of this however it never got to me and everything was water off the ducks back (even though some of the stuff was actually very harsh). All that aside, i didnt have a shy bone in my body and was very outgoing, had quite a lot of good friends and was also one of the highest academic performers in the school.
Then that all changed once i went to high school (it was a catholic high school due to my parents wanting me to go to a christian school), i lost my christian faith, started swearing, lost all idealistic notions, would brake rules and push boundaries on purpose, assault teachers, had some depression for a year but that lifted and i completely flipped from highest acedemic performer to lowest performer (no joke, even being put in a special ed program), for a year, i was borderline psychopathic and did some absolutly horrible things without showing or feeling any remorse and planned on becoming a career criminal. I was renowned for all the wrong reasons and when people described me they didnt use the words "nerd", "geek", or "wierd" anymore, instead they would say that i was "sick", "creepy", "an asshole", "fucked in the head", etc. This wasnt just teen rebellion, my whole personality and style of thinking changed.
That aside, i still had a strict and unusual dress-code, and had a few acquaintances and was relatively outgoing but nowhere near as friendly and outgoing as i was in primary school and i guess you could say i was still idealistic but in a completely different sort of way, you could say i hated the "fascism" of the catholic school and instead of being obsessed with rules, i completely flipped and bacame super anti-authoritarian. this is also when i first took the mbti test and i got INTJ which seemed to fit back then (this was very early on though and during my depression)
Now, im in my later-years in high school, I'd say im alot mentally healthier, empathetic, and rational and have great friends. i took the test again and got ENTP. it sort of made sense but didnt quite feel right then i read up on INTP and that also sort of sounded right but didn't quite fit. I've also considered ISTP/ESTP due to my primary learning style being kinestetic, my brash and blunt way of communicating, my hatred for an overly large amount of theory work, and my thrill-seeking streak. But then again certain types of theory can grab my attention (like mbti for example) and i do spend a large amount of time thinking about things, coming up with crazy ideas, and pursuing creative endeavours and definitely get along better with intuitives better than sensors. But then i looked at cognitive functions and that made things even more confusing, i seems my dominant function could be Ti, Se, Ne, Ni, and i've even considered Fi.
So I'm Very Confused about what my type actually is so looking back at my history, i was wondering if this sort of
behaviour pattern when growing up is common among a particular type. would greatly appreciate it if someone could help out
