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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, here goes:

1) Do INFJs usually mean what they say?

2) Are INFJs prone to hold onto their feelings for someone, unlike the notoriously fickle and flighty ENTP?

3) Do INFJs always verbalize their emotion well?

4) When someone gives an INFJ a compliment, do they take them well?

5) Do INFJs retreat under stress?
 

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1) Do INFJs usually mean what they say?
Yes

2) Are INFJs prone to hold onto their feelings for someone, unlike the notoriously fickle and flighty ENTP?
Yes

3) Do INFJs always verbalize their emotion well?
Depends. When I do get my emotions out verbally, it will be well spoken and thought out if the feeling has been sitting inside of me for much longer than it should. If it's a spur of the moment talk about my feelings, it probably sounds like jumbles.

4) When someone gives an INFJ a compliment, do they take them well?
I'm a 1w9/9w1 so I gladly accept compliments about talents or performances, but I don't take them to heart because inside I am always striving to be better and can rarely be content with myself. If it is a compliment about something physical, I suppose I take them pretty well.

5) Do INFJs retreat under stress?
Depends on what you mean by retreat. If you mean run away from a problem, probably not. But if you mean run away from people and thinking about what is stressing me out(and then try to solve it), yes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I guess the crux of this issue is that I'm dealing with a long distance relationship that is coming to a close, and while my INFJ boyfriend is getting a little less sappy/expressive (the "i miss yous and xoxos" seem a little more strained) than he usually is, I chalk it up to him leaving a foreign country he is in love with, and having to say goodbye to friends and an experience he's loved.

He still initiates conversation, and still talks to me, and when I visited him three weeks ago, all was well - and the romantic things he said to me were literally out of this world - and I adore him - but I'm a total worrier.
 

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I guess the crux of this issue is that I'm dealing with a long distance relationship that is coming to a close, and while my INFJ boyfriend is getting a little less sappy/expressive (the "i miss yous and xoxos" seem a little more strained) than he usually is, I chalk it up to him leaving a foreign country he is in love with, and having to say goodbye to friends and an experience he's loved.

He still initiates conversation, and still talks to me, and when I visited him three weeks ago, all was well - and the romantic things he said to me were literally out of this world - and I adore him - but I'm a total worrier.
If he said romantic things three weeks ago, he definitely meant it at the time(or I would guess so). I know that I would never just say things to appease people, especially if emotions are involved. If he is still intiating contact, I think that is a good sign. If I want to stop talking to someone, it's cut off(no stringing along).
 

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1) Do INFJs usually mean what they say?


I do... Always BUT I WILL LIE to protect your feelings... Don't like too but I have and I will again I'm sure....


2) Are INFJs prone to hold onto their feelings for someone, unlike the notoriously fickle and flighty ENTP?


depends how connected we feel. If it's early in the relationship and you look like trouble... bye... if we've bonded in any way INFJ's are about as loyal as anybody can be


3) Do INFJs always verbalize their emotion well?



Yes we can BUT see the above bit about lying to protect the feelings of others...


4) When someone gives an INFJ a compliment, do they take them well?

Personally I can take or leave em... Best not to get hung up on the opinions of other people. Those opinions are too subject to change. However if I respect you and you compliment me on my art or work... I like that, thats cool...



5) Do INFJs retreat under stress?


If we can... In my case I deal with it till I can retreat and mend a bit. If a situation seems like a permanent stresser I will def split the scene...
 

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My answers to all of these are my own only, and not representative of INFJ's in general.

1) Do INFJs usually mean what they say?

Yes, though I do think other types can be much more straightforward or blunt about what they're thinking. For the things that are personally important to me though, I don't compromise. If I feel that social conditions don't permit me to say what I want to, I say nothing.

2) Are INFJs prone to hold onto their feelings for someone, unlike the notoriously fickle and flighty ENTP?

Yeah. It takes me longer to develop feelings for someone, but they're pretty stable once I do.

3) Do INFJs always verbalize their emotion well?

No. Definitely not. Why should I if people aren't going to listen? I usually present things on the surface level. If people seem at all interested, understanding, and non-judgmental, then I might express things deeper. Otherwise, I'll just shut up, and that's better.

4) When someone gives an INFJ a compliment, do they take them well?

I tend to be pretty awkward and avoidant in response to compliments except in two instances.

First, if I know the person well. The closer I am with someone, 1) the more likely they are to give a deep/meaningful compliment that I'll really enjoy, 2) the more likely I am to know what kind of response would make them happy, and 3) the more likely I am to feel comfortable sharing my emotions back with them.

Second, if I'm in an extroverted mood. In that case, I'm a big ball of joy, and I'll throw positive energy at anybody that I can. In that case, I'm really happy when people compliment me, because I have an excuse to be really nice and loving in return!

5) Do INFJs retreat under stress?

Yes. When I'm stressed/depressed, I hate having to leave my room and be in contact with people. The exception is my 3-4 closest friends.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
We have a connection that has lasted since July, and we made it all the way until November, upon which I went to visit and things were amazing. Nothing has really changed since then, except his impending departure from abroad and return to here in the States, which he is not thrilled about. However, again, as of one week ago, he did say that he was looking forward to seeing me, and after I had an exceptionally crappy week that I told him about via e-mail, he signed the e-mail really romantically.

I would never really pin down my INFJ or any INFJ I've read about to be patently dishonest, especially without reason, so I'm inclined to trust my gut and not worry.

With regards to rebelartist - our initial connection was insanely powerful, and still is. So the threat of flightiness doesn't really present itself, methinks.

Things I've learned - INFJs take criticism of their own hobbies/likes as personal attacks. Whoa. Additionally, INFJs aren't always the ones to initiate contact, aaaaaaand INFJs are not the ones to talk much, especially about dumb crap over a long distance interface (i.e. online messenger).

But my God - the connection. I tend to think of myself as an ENTP that actually has learned from his past mistakes in thinking that "the grass is greener on the other side" because I lost a great partner that way, and learned that often times, if you have a good thing, keep it. This INFJ has a magnetic pull to my heart that I literally have never felt before. It's insane.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
And oh yes, another question to my attentive new friends here :)

Would an INFJ view constant compliments and romantic talk as disingenuous?
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
So if an INFJ still has interest, signs are good, correct?

Btw, to Selene (in addition to avalanche, and rebelartist), I really appreciate your help. It is help, because this ENTP is quite smitten over his soon to be returning INFJ, and just wants to make sure he's still on the right foot, here. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
And to restate my 5th question, though...

It seems that in my past experience with my INFJ, when he has a task to do (be it a project, or prepping for a trip, or what have you) his romantic side takes a back seat to his work side, meaning that he focuses greatly on the task at hand, and the romance resumes when said task is complete. At first I took this for flagging interest, but when I recognized a pattern, I realized that it's more of an operating pattern. Does that make sense?
 

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And to restate my 5th question, though...

It seems that in my past experience with my INFJ, when he has a task to do (be it a project, or prepping for a trip, or what have you) his romantic side takes a back seat to his work side, meaning that he focuses greatly on the task at hand, and the romance resumes when said task is complete. At first I took this for flagging interest, but when I recognized a pattern, I realized that it's more of an operating pattern. Does that make sense?
[nod] Yeah, that makes sense. Normally, if I have something to do, I isolate myself from all possible distractions (including people) and get it done. Even when I procrastinate on something, once I finally decide to start working, there's a period of time in which I make myself totally unreachable. I have to maintain my concentration, you know. :)

It's hard to care about people when I have so much stuff to do. Because I want to give people all of my attention...none of this half and half bullshit where I pretend I like seeing you but I'm actually worrying about 3 essays in the back of my mind. I'm either fully there or not there at all. I suck at multi-tasking. :proud:
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Selene, that makes perfect sense. I'm not like that at all - my ENTP-ness barely allows me to finish a task as it is, so the idea of hunkering down to get something done and having the wherewithal to shut everyone out is foreign, it seems. Although, it's probably a skill I would do well to glean.
 

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Oops, forgot this one.

And oh yes, another question to my attentive new friends here :)

Would an INFJ view constant compliments and romantic talk as disingenuous?
Not necessarily. Every time I hang out with my girlfriend, she will say how she loves the smell of my hair like...20 times. She literally talked about it for 15 minutes the last time she was over, and all the different aromatic smells/foods it reminded her of. :tongue: It was pretty ridiculous, but it was so sincere that it was really adorable...I knew she meant every word that she said. :crazy:

If I felt a bit disconnected from her though, then lots of compliments would come across as sort of empty and hollow. It's like, if your relationship is in shambles but you're saying "I love you"...what do those words even mean? If someone's telling me how much they like/care for me, but I feel that they don't know/appreciate me or meet my needs, then their compliments will sort of miss the mark and have the opposite effect. I'll feel like the person doesn't see how their actions affect me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
No, I totally get it. I think the disconnect is on my end, and is also a natural result of my INFJ being very busy and sad to come home (though, as stated, romantic phrases have been stated within the past week). I am giving my INFJ space to get ready to return home, but I told him that I am totally here for him when he gets back if he needs help or whatever I can do to make things easier, I'm there.

Let me say though - distance is not a friend to relationships. What I wouldn't give for someone physical contact sometimes, and not even sexual. Just a kiss, or a hug, or anything. That's what I miss the most. However, seeing as how I did snare an INFJ that I adore, nothing major has gone awry within the last few weeks - so I am chalking up any perceived distance in my head as being related to stress - and letting it go.

But oh, how I miss him.
 

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My answers

1) Do INFJs usually mean what they say?
Yes. Sometimes I’ll sugarcoat things though.

2) Are INFJs prone to hold onto their feelings for someone, unlike the notoriously fickle and flighty ENTP?
Yes, once I love someone it burns slowly for a long time.

3) Do INFJs always verbalize their emotion well?
Not always. I do my best to be open about my emotions to set boundaries, connect with people better and get through conflicts, but sometimes my emotions are a little confusing even to me. Sometimes I bring things up that seem like they meant nothing, but it took a couple days for me to realise that it bothered me.

4) When someone gives an INFJ a compliment, do they take them well?
I do, absolutely!

5) Do INFJs retreat under stress?
Yes, for a little while. I just need to centre myself and prepare for the action that is needed to continue.
I don't stay down for long, I'm too determined.

6) Would an INFJ view constant compliments and romantic talk as disingenuous?
If I give a compliment and someone returns it straight back to me it seems insincere.
But if somebody just wants to compliment me it’s lovely.
Constant compliments and romantic talk would get a little boring, but I wouldn’t think it was disingenuous.
 

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1) Do INFJs usually mean what they say?
I'm not particularly blunt unless really pushed, but I do mean what I say. I prefer silence over unnecessary conflict and I don't think that 'everyone is entitled to my opinion',and choose what I share

2) Are INFJs prone to hold onto their feelings for someone, unlike the notoriously fickle and flighty ENTP?
yes! I do, it can be awful, even when evidence points to it being time to move on, I get stuck in my feelings for people and can't seem to move forward. Though there have people people in my life I was able to move on from, with others I have had more trouble. I tend to get stuck in the past, unfortunately.

3) Do INFJs always verbalize their emotion well?
It's about 10x easier for me to do it in writing, in person I struggle. What makes things worse is if I'm feeling particularly emotional, I can shut down and come across as stand-offish, which confuses people

4) When someone gives an INFJ a compliment, do they take them well?
I just say 'thank you', but I oftentimes have trouble believing positive feedback about myself

5) Do INFJs retreat under stress?
In the sense that I need to be alone to get away from people and spend time by myself thinknig/feelings things through until I get my emotional equilibrium back, yes

6)Would an INFJ consider constant compliments and romantic talk as disignenious?
yes, especially if I sense that someone is trying to manipulate me in some way . I'd rather have someone show me how much they like me through actions
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Do INFJs withdraw from certain people in times of stress?

My INFJ is studying abroad, as previously stated, and this is his last two weeks there, and he has papers to write, parties to go to, people he loves/friends he adores that he has to say goodbye to, and a country (UK) that he has to leave that he doesn't want to leave yet.

Needless to say, on Skype, he seems a bit emotionally distant as of late - even though we haven't had any fights, nothing has changed, and to be frank - the only real differences that I can ascertain would be the fact that I've had to initiate the last few conversations more than he used to, (it usually is about 50/50) and he doesn't say "I miss you" or "xoxo" as often the way he used to.

As previously stated, I just got back from visiting him three weeks ago. Things were AMAZING.

Do INFJs just "fall out of love/like" with someone? Or could it be that he is just busy?

I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill here, and I don't want to worry him on his last few weeks at school.
 

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I know I don't, though there have been relationships in my past where I checked out emotionally before the relationship actually ended, so it may have seemed liked I fell out of love/like pretty quickly, but it actually took months or even years and I just did a poor job of expressing it as it was happening. If I am super secure and busy, I may not show affection/ give attention as much and I tend not to smother people with that type of things anyways. And yes, withdrawing in times of stress is something I do also
 

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1) Do INFJs usually mean what they say?
Yea, unless i have the intention to lie to you.

2) Are INFJs prone to hold onto their feelings for someone, unlike the notoriously fickle and flighty ENTP?
Yea, I get used to hide my emontions now.

3) Do INFJs always verbalize their emotion well?
I would say quite, altought i m sure other types would not agree

4) When someone gives an INFJ a compliment, do they take them well?
On the surface I would take it okay, but inside I would kinda doubt it (altought i need quite a bit of compliment and encouragment)

5) Do INFJs retreat under stress?
Hell yea... :confused:
 
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