Personality Cafe banner
1 - 20 of 169 Posts

1,864 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Halloween is coming.

Treat me to some deliciously terrible Halloween puns/jokes.

The absolute worst pun will have the honor of being written in blood, burnt, and then scattered over the puddle in the parking lot by Old Woman Josie's.

Why did the arachnophobe break up with his girlfriend? He spied-er with another man.
Why did the ghosts kick the vampire out of their house? He wouldn't stop coffin', and they needed their boo-ty sleep.

If you hate puns, then I'm sorry. :blushed:

4,460 Posts
I'll post the first batch I came up with again to start off...

What kind of potion did the cranky witches make? A bitchy brew.

Why did the werewolf go to Las Vegas? For a howling good time.

What is Frakenstein's favorite way to make potatoes? Monster Mashed

Here's a couple more...

Why does the prince of Egypt never phone home? He has a terrible Mummy.

Why was Dracula never allowed to play sports? Because he sucked.

Why did the ghost enjoy watching Dragon Ball Z? Because of Maijin Boo!

Why did the Reaper go see a doctor? He was feeling rather Grim.

I'll come back with some more in a bit.

364 Posts
All of these I just came up with on the spot. (except the chicken one of which I heard long ago)

Why do vampires never use sarcasm? Because they're always dead serious.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Other-side.
Why don't skeletons go to aquatic parks? They prefer to stay bone-dry.
Why was the were wolf lonely? All of the other's were dogging on him all of the time. (He perfured for them to stop, but the pawbably didn't care. It was a hairy situation.)
What cut of meat are vampires afraid of? Steaks.
The scarecrow greeted his scarecrow wife, "Hay pumpkin."


I'm going batty trying to think of more...

3,223 Posts
Okay, I don't have a pun but.....

little boy; "Mummy, mummy, can I play with Grandma again?"

mummy; "No darling, you've dug her up twice today already"

... ... ... ... ... ...

little boy; "Mummy, mummy, why am I running around in circles?"

mummy; "Shut up, or I'll nail the other foot to the floor!"

... ... ... ... ...

little boy; "Mummy, mummy, can I lick the bowl out when you've finished?!"

mummy; "No darling! Just use the flush like everyone else"
1 - 20 of 169 Posts