Personality Cafe banner
1 - 16 of 16 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,928 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been sexually active for a while now and in almost every instance I'm with someone, I have a difficult time staying hard. It's especially annoying and awkward when someone is going down on me or trying to give me a handjob and suddenly I'm soft again.

Do any of you (guys especially) have any advice on how to keep an erection during sex? It's kinda limiting what I want to do.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hollow Man

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,928 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,139 Posts
Are you anxious?

The first couple of times I had sex with my current SO, this happened. It's gone away as he's become more comfortable with me. How well do you know the people you're having sex with? Being more comfortable with your partner can reduce anxiety.
Just relax and focus on having fun, rather than obsessing about pleasing your partner. I'd recommend trying this or a cock ring and only use medication as a last resort.


EDIT: 3000 posts! YAYYY!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,765 Posts
x2, might be anxiety, or also being tired... your wording kinda gives me the idea you are almost never alone or off duty, it happens. There are many factors and it depends on each person: worried, uninterested, depressed, bored, anxiety, tired, stress, or physical stuff too.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,928 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Are you anxious?

The first couple of times I had sex with my current SO, this happened. It's gone away as he's become more comfortable with me. How well do you know the people you're having sex with? Being more comfortable with your partner can reduce anxiety.
Just relax and focus on having fun, rather than obsessing about pleasing your partner. I'd recommend trying this or a cock ring and only use medication as a last resort.


EDIT: 3000 posts! YAYYY!
At the moment, it's no strings attached and it's always an adrenaline rush. No time for music and candles.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DeductiveReasoner

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,130 Posts
Taking any meds? Anti-deps especially? And you are mentally aroused during these times right? Like you want to fuck? You're not just going through the motions or something?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,928 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Taking any meds? Anti-deps especially? And you are mentally aroused during these times right? Like you want to fuck? You're not just going through the motions or something?
Not on any meds. As much as I am aware, I do want to get off during these times.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,421 Posts
The other thing I was going to note that I didn't see listed aside from that you could be over thinking it and getting anxiety or trying a cock ring, was that if you watch too much porn (I didn't say if you watch porn in itself, but too much) it can sexually stunt you as well seen it twice the guys I knew of that watched porn the most (like more then 'normal') had major struggles with getting or staying erect.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,886 Posts
I've had this problem as well...even when I was like 23. It was because I didn't really know the women I was being intimate with that well. I actually had an erection during foreplay, but I kind of lost interest somehow or maybe I felt like I was being rushed as time went on and these women were interested in going all the way-ish.

I think jogging specifically can help a man get a better erection, maybe more stamina. It seemed to be the case for me when I was running a half hour three times a week. I don't know if that goes exactly with the issue at hand though. It may also, help the desire to come more naturally and just more intensely.

Diet affects this as well...I've been eating kind of terribly lately and drinking too much caffeine and alcohol too. These things don't help in the long run, I don't think. Could be problems or things not helping...not sure if it is in your case.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,421 Posts
Come on now, pun must be at least semi-intended.

Kidding.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,255 Posts
I've been sexually active for a while now and in almost every instance I'm with someone, I have a difficult time staying hard. It's especially annoying and awkward when someone is going down on me or trying to give me a handjob and suddenly I'm soft again.
Are you sure you're dating what turns you on? That's the first thing that came to mind.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,928 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
The other thing I was going to note that I didn't see listed aside from that you could be over thinking it and getting anxiety or trying a cock ring, was that if you watch too much porn (I didn't say if you watch porn in itself, but too much) it can sexually stunt you as well seen it twice the guys I knew of that watched porn the most (like more then 'normal') had major struggles with getting or staying erect.
Not that this is the case for me, but how does a guy get over that? The porn problem, I mean.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,421 Posts
Not that this is the case for me, but how does a guy get over that? The porn problem, I mean.
Its about moderation.

I strongly say anyone who gets too accustomed to their own stroke can have a hard time being stimulated by others. Its not that you cant or anyone in general cant watch porn. Its just about not relying on the stimulation of the visions and your personal stroke that nothing can compare.

I would say if someone jacks off a lot like all the time the stimulation is going to mean more effort to blow in general. Fewer and farer between.
 
1 - 16 of 16 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top