I sit here feeling completely powerless, with scarcely enough energy to sustain my posture in a position that grants me use of my last connection to the outside world: My computer. Broken and battered from so many different directions, my will no longer desires to move forward in battle. I'm frozen. This is my indefinite angle of repose.
From as far back as I could discern life philosophically, I've held that avoiding pain is the name of the game--Physical pain, pain of regret, pain of heartbreak, pain through sympathy, empathy, pain of unachievable goals, pain of fear, pain of keeping up with it all. I had my pocket of schemes--resources at my ready to fire at these demons who attempted to cripple me... but how could I stop a horde? I focus on one and another comes closer; I shift my attention to that one and yet another advances. In desperation, my offensive attacks suddenly turn into a defensive cry for help. I'm overtaken.
I'm at the bottom now. They say that from this position, there's no where to go but up. They may talk about the time and energy it takes to slowly pick up the pieces and start building again, but they don't mention that demolition can occur once again at any time, succeeding in an instant.
So I sit here. Days are long, but I have the nights to look forward to: They pass by quicker.
From as far back as I could discern life philosophically, I've held that avoiding pain is the name of the game--Physical pain, pain of regret, pain of heartbreak, pain through sympathy, empathy, pain of unachievable goals, pain of fear, pain of keeping up with it all. I had my pocket of schemes--resources at my ready to fire at these demons who attempted to cripple me... but how could I stop a horde? I focus on one and another comes closer; I shift my attention to that one and yet another advances. In desperation, my offensive attacks suddenly turn into a defensive cry for help. I'm overtaken.
I'm at the bottom now. They say that from this position, there's no where to go but up. They may talk about the time and energy it takes to slowly pick up the pieces and start building again, but they don't mention that demolition can occur once again at any time, succeeding in an instant.
So I sit here. Days are long, but I have the nights to look forward to: They pass by quicker.