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Discussion Starter #1
a not so cute INFJ ¿?¿?¿?

So the typical image portrayed of an INFJ is this sweet, submissive cinnamon bun going out of their way to create harmony
I´ve been typed as INFJ a gazillion times but I do not identify with this AT ALL.
I wouldn´t call myself combative; I try not to create and certainly don´t enjoy conflict, but when it knocks at my door, I come out swinging. Hard.
Getting offended (like all states of mind) is something you need to take responsibility of through just basic emotional intelligence. Even though my last intention is to hurt or insult others, I do not sugar-coat my words.
Apparently these things are not very Fe-like, though.

Just wondering in the eyes of other INFJs: if I´ve seen too many dumb, stereotyped memes or if, with this in mind, I should maybe consider that I´m mistyped.
 

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Like Knife said, you're not a stereotype. And you don't have to be. MBTI helped me a lot to understand my thought process, how I deal with things, or why I don't deal with said things very well. You don't have to conform to Pinterest and Tumblr images of what people think an INFJ is to be one. Don't worry if you aren't either, MBTI doesn't dictates who you are. It's assortments of traits and behaviors that can help one have some self discovery and enlightenment. At least that's how I mostly see it.
 

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I wouldn´t call myself combative; I try not to create and certainly don´t enjoy conflict, but when it knocks at my door, I come out swinging. Hard.
Getting offended (like all states of mind) is something you need to take responsibility of through just basic emotional intelligence. Even though my last intention is to hurt or insult others, I do not sugar-coat my words
I can totally relate, and I think, with INFJ males at least, we have zero tolerance for intimidation. I'll scorch the Earth beneath a bully, then go right back to my sudoku without a second thought...well, maybe that's an exageration. I don't really do sudoku.
 

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INFJ's can be blunt and prefer honestly over sugarcoating...but so can ISFP's. Do you maybe resonate more with Fi + Ni rather than Fe?
 

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While there are basic traits that a type has, no individuals within the typing are going to be the same. It might be unrealistic to fit into a perfect box to a T. You could still very well be an INFJ even if you don't fit the stereotype. In fact, Nobody fits a clean-cut complete stereotype. I myself can be opinionated at times and the fact that sometimes, I get intolerant of certain behaviors of certain people I question myself being a feeler. It's natural for us to question our type. There are times that I get offended too.
 

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My personality has been described as cute and sweet a few times, but exclusively by lovers. I am not described as such by people in general. Not as far as I know, at least.

Anyways, I do sugar coat the things I say. It my responsibility to pay attention to the things I say and it is not right for me to blame others for being offended by my words. I believe the idea people need to grow a "thick skin" is ridiculous. It is not that people need to grow a thick skin. Rather, others need to pay attention to what they say. Respect is not an option.
 

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Well you solved your question with your answer lol, you shouldn't listen at all to type descriptions/stereotypes because they're not accurate at all.

I too don't understand where they even come from tbh, as what I've gathered from most INFJs including myself is that when it comes to certain things we thrive on conflict.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I think it´s a balance. Personally, if I see darkness in somebody else, I´ll only say it if I think they could gain something from me pointing it out. If doing so can be interpreted as insulting I´m not going to walk on egg shells to avoid that status. my intention and their interpretations are two very different things.
Like if some dude is being a misogynistic prick I have no problem in telling him that he´s doing so because he maybe had a shitty relationship with his mom. It can be a painful thing to hear if it´s true, but bringing it out into your conscious mind is the only way to even consider shaping it and of course most people have extremely elaborate defense mechanisms to block out any sort of thought like "I´m an asshole because a, b and c"
 

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So the typical image portrayed of an INFJ is this sweet, submissive cinnamon bun going out of their way to create harmony
I´ve been typed as INFJ a gazillion times but I do not identify with this AT ALL.
I wouldn´t call myself combative; I try not to create and certainly don´t enjoy conflict, but when it knocks at my door, I come out swinging. Hard.
Getting offended (like all states of mind) is something you need to take responsibility of through just basic emotional intelligence. Even though my last intention is to hurt or insult others, I do not sugar-coat my words.
Apparently these things are not very Fe-like, though.

Just wondering in the eyes of other INFJs: if I´ve seen too many dumb, stereotyped memes or if, with this in mind, I should maybe consider that I´m mistyped.
I haven't personally found that most of the memes of INFJs show us to be 'sweet submissive cinnamon buns..'

5ec9edbbf05dcdf7f3fcedbb5750b95b--infj-infp-introvert.jpg

Although, I tend to walk away from conflict if I don't see the point of it.

But yeah, I don't really relate to this problem of stereotypes, I'm quite stereotypical for an INFJ in both good and bad ways (maybe more the latter, not really for me to say). I don't think we have as hard a time as the INTJs do, of being portrayed as cold mastermind villains, but then some of them enjoy that stuff anyway. Memes are always exaggerations, otherwise they wouldn't be funny.

Which images are you thinking of? Care to share some examples?
 

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I have never seen a description portray an INFJ as a sweet, submissive cinnamon bun pushover lol but if you feel you really don't give a shit about harmony (and INFJ's do care about creating or are at least always aware of the presence or absence of social harmony) then I could see how the descriptions might come off that way?

I actually disagree that all the descriptions are wrong. Stereotypes are another thing but even stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. I think people don't give the descriptions enough credit. Looking into the cognitive functions of each type can be helpful because it gives you a closer look at the WHY behind each type but the descriptions give you a fuller picture of how the functions often manifest in the type.

FJ's are generally good at and enjoy being socially graceful. Fe is about serving the needs of others or always having this in mind. It's not that they can't be blunt at certain times. We can. It happens. Sometimes the ESTP shadow comes out to play. But after I've been blunt, I often make sure not to over play my hand. But the majority of the time, I am not that way (blunt). It more so happens if I'm fed up and lost my patience or I'm in a bad place. I am always thinking about how to word things just right (Ti) in order to sway my audience or reach them on some level.

If you don't feel like some major aspects of the INFJ fit you (like Fe), I would look into the possibility of being other types. I'm not saying that it's impossible you're an INFJ, but if other people typed you and it's not resonating, it's worth looking into the other types.
 

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sweet, submissive cinnamon bun going out of their way to create harmony
And here that's pretty close to what people say I am, but I'm an INTJ, so I'm not "supposed" to be that.

I don't think we have as hard a time as the INTJs do, of being portrayed as cold mastermind villains but then some of them enjoy that stuff anyway.
It's fun to roleplay sometimes, but that whole "mastermind" thing is a joke. Besides, "mastermind" is just another word for "dungeon master."

 
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