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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
there are only two important questions you have to ask yourself. What do you really feel? And, what do you really want? If you can answer those two, you can probably leave your neuroses behind you."- Harold Ramis.


So... What do you really feel? And, what do you really want?
 

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there are only two important questions you have to ask yourself. What do you really feel? And, what do you really want? If you can answer those two, you can probably leave your neuroses behind you."- Harold Ramis.


So... What do you really feel? And, what do you really want?
I don't really know...
 

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Well I'm screwed, then :tongue:

Those are probably the two things I tend to marginalize most in my life. What I feel and what I want? Looks like I still have a ways to go in the "personal fulfillment" department, eh?
 

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Maid of Time
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"Why am I feeling this? Why do I want that?" seem like better questions to me honestly.
Well, first you have to know what you're feeling and what you want, before being able to ask yourself why.

I'm never quite sure what I want. I'm better at knowing what I'm feeling nowadays, at least.
 

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What do you really feel? And, what do you really want?

Disconnection, anxiety, indifference. Nothing I am quite fine.
 
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In general, I want a life where I work independently, make a reasonable income, and find "true love." (A lulz but it's also a truez.)

In the short term I want to finish my college education, successfully start my business, and ideally find the aforementioned love.

In the long term I want to find ways I can apply my resources (money mostly) to develop some form of viral charity; one that would grow and expand without further input, but be largely devoid of corruption (via entirely transparent policies). No idea how to do this yet.

What I feel? I feel a lot of things.

As for the "bad," right now I feel somewhat stressed and pressured (by myself ironically) in life. I feel disappointed and a bit frustrated with my relationship and how both of us are "lingering." I feel annoyed when my plants die from excessive rain we've been getting. I am apprehensive and a bit upset knowing that when my relationship is over, I will have to deal with a lot of mundane items she dealt with (and she wanted to deal with), and I may not get to see "my" dog anymore (it is hers truly).

As for the "good," I actually feel great usually. I'm finally exercising more regularly, have passion and incentive to really get my business going now, and live in a very clean environment. I'm more than half way through my college career, I seem to have grown and developed a lot over the last couple years, and quite honestly I have a lot in my life to be thankful for. Overall I am in a secure situation, even if relationship wise I am less so.

While some of those "bad" things may seem pretty traumatic, they really aren't; I really do feel "good" most of the time.
 

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I had a psychologist ask me what I wanted once & I honestly didn't know. I had been on the treadmill of doing what I had to do to survive for so many years & knowing what others wanted but I'd never thought about what I actually wanted. It opened up a box of questions I'd never given thought to. Needs; met or unmet & how I can be defined or owned by them & how they can drive my behavior, etc. An interesting angle on self-discovery I've since given much thought to. As to what I want or need, well it's actually a really long list I probably shouldn't get started on.
 
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I feel nothing and I want nothing. Honestly the questions are stupid and I've had people (INFJs lulz) ask me the same thing and I tell them they are stupid for thinking that a very complex behavioral problem like neurosis can be solved by two simple questions. This approach sucks and is probably just a path to failure, or most likely infantile like addiction. Leave your neurosis behind and become a child again. Also Harold Ramass is an actor wtf.
 

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Maid of Time
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I feel nothing and I want nothing. Honestly the questions are stupid and I've had people (INFJs lulz) ask me the same thing and I tell them they are stupid for thinking that a very complex behavioral problem like neurosis can be solved by two simple questions. This approach sucks and is probably just a path to failure, or most likely infantile like addiction. Leave your neurosis behind and become a child again. Also Harold Ramass is an actor wtf.
Glad you have your life together.

So what works for you?
 

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I really want to be my own boss, and not to work for others. No offence to others, but that's what I really want.

What I really feel I cannot simplify into language. Infact, it's just not possible to say what you feel. The very second you say it it is no longer a feeling, it is an attempted interpretation of a feeling. It might be accurate, it might not be - either way, it is only an interpretation. Feelings are like photons - damn hard to pinpoint.

For me, focusing on what you really want has a lot of purpose. The only thing is, you would want to be prepared to work at it, and see it through (on whatever your 'it' is). The real effort has to happen when the passion and purpose inherent in the initial plans naturally fades. It's then you need to maintain self-management and effort. Because most do not. And most wants fall by the wayside, taken over by the inert habituations we have all fallen victim to, at one point or another.
 

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What do you really feel?
And, what do you really want?
I feel satisfaction knowing what I know and must do, and knowing that I do not know. I am also a bit anxious about the future, and try to be good to others and myself. I think that is what I really would want. I don't need to be happy, all I want is leading a life in which I did more good deeds than bad deeds, I think that in itself, makes me a happy person. More so then chasing the material paradise on earth.

This guy Harold is not a psychiatrist or anything so his authority on this is questionable to say the least :wink:, but quite frankly I don't mind. A fisherman may know more about psychology than a certified psychologist!
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
What do you really feel?
And, what do you really want?
I feel satisfaction knowing what I know and must do, and knowing that I do not know. I am also a bit anxious about the future, and try to be good to others and myself. I think that is what I really would want. I don't need to be happy, all I want is leading a life in which I did more good deeds than bad deeds, I think that in itself, makes me a happy person. More so then chasing the material paradise on earth.

This guy Harold is not a psychiatrist or anything so his authority on this is questionable to say the least :wink:, but quite frankly I don't mind. A fisherman may know more about psychology than a certified psychologist!
Hi Sly. Thanks for the response. Editor's note: Technically Mr. Ramis (personal hero of mine) is quoting his psychologist. Psychoanalysis rulez.

P.S. Whether you're studying a book or waiting tables you're still learning about the world. ;)
 

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Maid of Time
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I don't have an answer for that. All I've noticed is that when I get what my feelings wanted, it doesn't stop. It isn't content in what it has and just wants more. So now you are stuck in a cycle of addiction, and I don't think that is the cure for pathological problems.
1. Okay. I honestly was curious whether you had something that worked for you and/or others.

2. Just because it seems stupid to you doesn't mean it's not effective for others. I spent a lot of my life being unaware of what I was feeling and what I wanted in life; and developing the ability to ask and answer those things in my life gave me knowledge that I can use to make decisions that matter.

It sounds like you are assuming that just because you feel something, you should give yourself what you want. No, not really -- as you say, it's like catering to addiction/consumption. No, this process just offers you awareness of what is driving you, and then you can decide what to do with those feelings. I have come to believe that when we don't understand what is driving us, we more easily fall prey to those unrealized/unconscious forces driving us.
 
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