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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
to women: have u ever approached a guy and initiated conversation with a guy that you were attracted to?

men: what would be your reaction to this?

this happened to me the other day. I was working on a set for a play in one of my theatre elective classes. I went to the 'green room' to get some coffee and one of the girls started talking to me. there arent many theatre majors and i notice they are a unique group of people. usually more outgoing and less socially blocked by social norms. They are easily able to be themselves. They're like louder artsy types...

Anyway a girl asked what my name and major was that day. Her friends/classmates were with her in the room when she said hi. She was a complete stranger. I didn't know how to react to this situation. It was completely unexpected. The girl was pretty good looking too. I may find her in the same spot tomorrow morning.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
It's kind of easy to tell I mean someone that social doesn't need more friends. Most likely if a girl is starting up conversation with you (especially if you didn't even acknowledge her before) then she wants your d.

Wish I could edit the title. Speaking of that, is the 'never' in your sig wrong?
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Asking you for your name and major? Are you serious? She was probably fed up with seeing you constantly moping around in the background and she wanted to lighten the atmosphere. Extroverts do that. Other people's silence is uncomfortable for them.

Little does she know what she's gotten herself into. You'll probably be stalking her next.
Well the girl wasn't with me. I was just working and building stuff outside of class cuz we are assigned a certain amount of hours to do that. I'd never seen her in my life and I was just making coffee, about to leave the room when she talked to me. But yeah not too many strangers go in there, and probably not without talking...could be you're right. I've just never been wrong in making that assumption that a girl who talks to me first is attracted to me in that way. I guess it's all the little nonverbals, randomness and other factors that play into just having a hunch.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
In all my experiences a girl that initiates contact is more attracted than a girl who doesn't. That's pretty much how I operate with girls. I really don't make a move unless I get a signal to do that. They're the people getting hit on all the time after all. So really it's not up to me. It's up to them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #28 ·
As BlueGiraffe said, she is more inclined to talk to a guy she's forced to. Had this been a class situation and a girl genuinely needed a pencil and asked me for one I prolly wouldn't think much of it. But the girl saw a benefit in talking to me voluntarily in a situation that she didn't have to and had she waited 3 more seconds I would have been out of sight. She doesn't walk through life talking to everyone she meets. Obviously she saw a benefit in the investment of her time. From prior experiences and knowing that every time a girl doesn't talk to me doesn't go anywhere and when a girl makes first contact it does go somewhere, I'd have to say I am right for the most part.

It is even less abstract of an idea on dating sites if you ever use one. Girls that send guys messages (which is rare) are more likely
to be attached. They're more attracted from the beginning. You could probably easily manipulate girls like that lol cuz theyre so out of character with the rest of their sex that they must really be into you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #31 ·
I think you're full of shit. On the one hand, you claim that girls have approached you out of the blue before, and that whenever this happens it always progresses further:
Yet you also claim to have been surprised when the girl in your class approached you. You say you didn't know how to react:
If you have so much prior experience with girls approaching you in this manner, then where is your confusion coming from?
It wasn't my class. I don't know what it was. I was outside of class...doing like an extra curricular sort of thing. Theatre students just chill in this green room and talk every time I walk by there. I dunno if they're waiting for class or what...but from what I'm told, theatre students seem to be a more special and close group of students because well...there are only like 100 theatre majors and it requires people to be outgoing to an extent...which is prolly why it was so easy for the girl to say something to me.

This doesn't happen a lot but when it does I usually am able to react to it. But I was in the company of other people and that feels too weird to me. If I'm in a bar and drunk (or not even drunk) and know no one is paying attention to our conversation then I will say what I want. But I feel too much negative energy and judgment coming my way when there were like 5 other people in the room that shut their mouths as soon as the girl addressed me. So I didn't know what to do.

But I am pretty confident in this idea because it happened a couple months ago with my ex. I bumped into the girl in the hallway right before the first class period of the semester. She said I looked lost. We happened to be looking for the same room and so I talked to her for about 30 seconds before class and sat down next to her. Got her number after, played a lil air hockey in the student center and we continued from there. Didn't work out though. She was an ESFJ. Dunno how compatible they are supposed to be with my type. Whatever.

It's just how the world works. Women don't wanna look like 'sluts'. They don't wanna look easy. Society motivates them to a life of purity. Purity has somehow become valued to men whereas I couldn't give two shits about some virgin that's gonna have a vagina so tight I can't even get inside her and to top it off I have to teach her what to even do. That's just lame. But anyway...there reeeeaallly has to be a motivator or something that a girl sees in a guy for them to approach you and talk to you. I mean the most I get is a fake smile in the hallway when I look at a girl. Most girls don't want to look at me. I'm told I'm pretty good looking so this also leads me to believe that girls don't want anything to do with a guy like that because it may be easy for him to get women...especially when he's exclusive and wanted even more. Guys are guys after all. We're more at risk to cheat. We're more horny. Our testosterone isn't produced in cycles and the media makes women look like goddesses.
 
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Discussion Starter · #33 ·
Yeah that's what i thought, sir.
 

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Discussion Starter · #36 ·
Welp, that's how it is for people here. And again, maybe it just has to do with girls feeling they aren't in my league. I really hate going on about that. I feel like I'm bragging, but I'm just explaining my situation...which seems valid. I mean I feel like keeping control of an extroverted blonde 9 or 10 would be hard as fuck. Now it's gotta be even harder for a woman to control a man in the reverse situation because he is more horny and more likely to cheat.

I've not experienced any girl approaching me solely for an ego stroke. I've had girls that I've fucked up with or something that I still kind of wanted that would text me for an ego stroke. I know better now not to fall into that bs. I honestly don't think a girl is much of a good source for information. We're all familiar with the silly dilemma that some women face. They will say they want nice guys and run straight to a douchebag time after time. It's nothing new. They just feel bored with the hubby types. And they're young so I suppose they want someone that's a douchebag. So ya see...girls say what they want all the time and they don't even know. They're often easily controlled by their emotions. That's why men have to put up with the game playing bullshit that some women will have men go through in the first place. Not their fault though I suppose...I mean a woman has more to risk engaging a male stranger. They're more vulnerable.
 

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Discussion Starter · #38 ·
^Good for you.

By the way this kid talks, it is obvious he is horrifically inexperienced with women.
And believe you me--they can sense this and they will toy with you without shame.

Men cheat more? Women aren't as horny?
If you believe that bullshit, I got a bridge to sell ya.

Get out there, experience life a bit and come back and talk to me in about 5 years.
I don't know if men actually cheat more than men. But it's a fact that men are hornier. We have testosterone. It isn't produced cyclically as estrogen is in women. This is just science. WE'RE HORNIER. Plus if you really can't understand gender roles in society then maybe YOU need to go experience the world. See, I'm about to graduate with a degree in Communication. I already know what I'm talking about. But apparently you have no idea. It's simple really. You must be aware that the social norm is for the man to be the move maker. Women are encouraged to be innocent virgins. This is just Get-Out-And-Experience-The-World 101. Men are given high fives for getting it in. Women are scolded, if not, judged negatively.

So this mindset naturally causes girls to play hard to get. They're too cautious. It's unfortunate but that's how it is.
 

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Discussion Starter · #39 ·
Album cover Photo caption Media Television presenter Fictional character


.......................
 

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Discussion Starter · #41 ·
It depends on the girl really. A lot of girls simply don't want to 'give up' or give in fast no matter who the guy is. It's just pride. There can be other reasons. You sound ignorant to put a blanket reasoning over such a complicated issue. I think pretty much everything you said was ignorant except for the response to my typo. But most of all, you saying education alters perspective, nothing more, nothing less, was pretty retarded. Yes it alters perspective. It alters perspective for the better. I would rather have facts at my disposal before I inflict my judgments onto the world.
 

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Discussion Starter · #48 ·
That example actually undermines your example...of the same example. Jersey Shore exists for us to laugh. People laugh at those people and how ridiculously high maintenance they are. People laugh at their obsession with sex. Just because the media is putting that show out there doesn't mean they want everyone to be that way. They want you to laugh at them and not be that way. But I was talking about society anyway...not the media. Think about all the people you've associated with and how they feel about a woman having sex as opposed to a man having sex. People tend to think nothing of a man getting off. It's permitted in society more than it is for a woman. I think that has a lot to do with the fact that women can get pregnant, men want more clean women to fuck (which really is kind of stupid because this thought promotes behavior in women that they really dont want at the same time), and women can get raped by men. So they should be more cautious about it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #49 ·
I don't know if this has been mentioned already, but anyway: sexually frustrated people tend to "project" their frustration onto others, which makes them over-estimate how horny everyone else is. Certainly many people are horny, but many are not. For all we know the girl in the story has a steady boyfriend and is already getting as much nookie as she can cope with. Does it necessarily follow that she would not say hello to a fellow classmate, having no "reason" to do so? According to the OP's "flawless logic", people only say hello to each other if they're scouting for potential fuck partners. In the world he lives in, people who are getting regular sex never say hello to anyone. And people who have better things to think about probably don't talk at all.

This whole conversation has been ridiculous, but good for a laugh. I love people who volunteer themselves to be made fun of.
I wasn't saying those were concrete constraints. Of course people in relationships will talk to other people and whatever. It's a situational specific thing. It's about the context and how I feel about it. You will never be able to understand the situation beyond the text that I post here.
 

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Discussion Starter · #50 ·
youve never had a relatively attractive woman start a conversation with you? there are alot of F types that just talk to strangers, mine is not really one of them. My mom is INFJ and she will just talk to whomever is around. But why not accept that this chick is interested in you, theres not really anything to do, no reason to be confused, just answer back and see where it goes, if it keeps happening ask her out. And most importantly never take advice from @DustyDrill .
From my observations...there are A LOT more attractive women that have been around me and in the position to talk to me just for shits n gigs that haven't than the women that have. It doesn't necessarily have to do with them not being attracted. Maybe they have a man in their lives already. Maybe there are other reasons. I just know that when they do talk to me that means there is something going on beyond the usual.
 

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Discussion Starter · #51 ·
i could just leave this thread alone and move on.. but it's just too great of a laugh.
they are out of character with the rest of their sex?
wow. i have to add that to my profile. i always thought i was just fed up with stupid genderroles and refuse to play games. and i have a surprise for you: girls who send messages to guys in onlinedating get about as much responses as guys who send to girls. which is pretty frustrating if you only send your messages to guys you're "really into", so either they stop sending messages after very short time or do the same as most guys in onlinedating and send out little-effort-messages to everyone they think could be slightly interesting.



i have to agree with that for now. i don't think that's how the "world works", but it is the current normality. our relationship to sex is fucked up and it's hardly possible to distinguish between "natural human" and trained behavior of our society.
There are A HELL OF A LOT MORE guys sending the initial messages than girls that are. That's the gender role for the guy. He has to start up the conversation because the woman has too much opportunity. So it's the man's role to improve himself and shine within the pack of average men. The only girls that are sending messages out are the ones that AREN'T getting any messages from guys...the ugly/fat ones. Ugly/fat girls are the only people messaging me, initiating a conversation. If I actually want to pull a hot girl from the internet then I have to be the one to do it...cuz a hot girl is getting hit up by too many guys for her to be forward with me.

 

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Discussion Starter · #53 ·
I'm saying the example was wrong. My example and reasoning behind the same show made more sense.

Not every guy smiles back. Not every girl smiles back. I think girls should at least try to be the first ones to smile back because it doesn't really seem socially beneficent to try hitting on every girl that doesn't acknowledge you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #57 ·
well...eh...most of the girls messaging me first are ugly. Like 2/3. And girls are different than guys so it doesn't work that way...they really aren't drawn to someone physically as much as guys can be (at first). I think they care more (at first anyway) about what u say and how u make them feel in the head rather than in the pants.
 

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Discussion Starter · #59 ·
Most real men aren't gonna hang around with a girl that he's fucked that shuts him out. They aren't just gonna stick around and be friends. That's the life of a loser. Girls are physically attracted to guys...yea, sure...of course...but not like guys are. I don't have to know a thing about a woman, but if she's hot then I already know I wanna fuck her. And that's the truth. Is that the truth for you? Be honest. Do you need to know more about a guy other than him being hot for u to wanna fuck him?
 

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Discussion Starter · #60 ·
And no I'm not a virgin, far from it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #62 ·
if u cant understand that then god be with u
 
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