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A question each for ISTP and ISTP women

8874 Views 99 Replies 21 Participants Last post by  Remington
to women: have u ever approached a guy and initiated conversation with a guy that you were attracted to?

men: what would be your reaction to this?

this happened to me the other day. I was working on a set for a play in one of my theatre elective classes. I went to the 'green room' to get some coffee and one of the girls started talking to me. there arent many theatre majors and i notice they are a unique group of people. usually more outgoing and less socially blocked by social norms. They are easily able to be themselves. They're like louder artsy types...

Anyway a girl asked what my name and major was that day. Her friends/classmates were with her in the room when she said hi. She was a complete stranger. I didn't know how to react to this situation. It was completely unexpected. The girl was pretty good looking too. I may find her in the same spot tomorrow morning.
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If the guy and I are forced to be in the same area together -- work, school -- then yes, I might come up and say hello.
If we aren't forced to be in the same area, there's a very, very slim chance that I'd go to him. Not that I'd shoot him in the foot for coming to me, just that I am not going to approach him.

You got this, bro.
Next time ya see her, whip your pecker out and give her some helicopter action!
That's how I met my husband actually.
You aint married.
And you assume that because?
You aint married.
It wasn't his pecker you saw.
And you assume that because?
If that ever happened, I would grab hold and not let go.
Metaphorically, of course. Last time I actually did that, the cops showed up.
If that ever happened, I would grab hold and not let go.
Ladies and Gentlemen. The quintessential Ladie's Man hath spoken.
Revel in his divine wisdom.

But seriously.

Just because a girl talks to you doesn't mean she has the "hots" for ya.
Just because she flirts with you doesn't mean she wants to trade spit with ya.
Attracted--perhaps. But not necessarily in the "bumping uglies" context.

Something about you draws her to...you.
Oh, and it's not all up to "her." You decide where it goes from there.
The power is in your hands, big guy!

In the meantime, eat your soup.
In all my experiences a girl that initiates contact is more attracted than a girl who doesn't. That's pretty much how I operate with girls. I really don't make a move unless I get a signal to do that. They're the people getting hit on all the time after all. So really it's not up to me. It's up to them.
As BlueGiraffe said, she is more inclined to talk to a guy she's forced to. Had this been a class situation and a girl genuinely needed a pencil and asked me for one I prolly wouldn't think much of it. But the girl saw a benefit in talking to me voluntarily in a situation that she didn't have to and had she waited 3 more seconds I would have been out of sight. She doesn't walk through life talking to everyone she meets. Obviously she saw a benefit in the investment of her time. From prior experiences and knowing that every time a girl doesn't talk to me doesn't go anywhere and when a girl makes first contact it does go somewhere, I'd have to say I am right for the most part.

It is even less abstract of an idea on dating sites if you ever use one. Girls that send guys messages (which is rare) are more likely
to be attached. They're more attracted from the beginning. You could probably easily manipulate girls like that lol cuz theyre so out of character with the rest of their sex that they must really be into you.
I think you're full of shit. On the one hand, you claim that girls have approached you out of the blue before, and that whenever this happens it always progresses further:
From prior experiences and knowing that every time a girl doesn't talk to me doesn't go anywhere and when a girl makes first contact it does go somewhere, I'd have to say I am right for the most part.
Yet you also claim to have been surprised when the girl in your class approached you. You say you didn't know how to react:
Anyway a girl asked what my name and major was that day. Her friends/classmates were with her in the room when she said hi. She was a complete stranger. I didn't know how to react to this situation. It was completely unexpected.
If you have so much prior experience with girls approaching you in this manner, then where is your confusion coming from?
Oh shut up. I wish I was.
Then I would have an excuse for my type of lifestyle.
Thats a damn lie.
It wasn't my class. I don't know what it was. I was outside of class...doing like an extra curricular sort of thing. Theatre students just chill in this green room and talk every time I walk by there. I dunno if they're waiting for class or what...but from what I'm told, theatre students seem to be a more special and close group of students because well...there are only like 100 theatre majors and it requires people to be outgoing to an extent...which is prolly why it was so easy for the girl to say something to me.

This doesn't happen a lot but when it does I usually am able to react to it. But I was in the company of other people and that feels too weird to me. If I'm in a bar and drunk (or not even drunk) and know no one is paying attention to our conversation then I will say what I want. But I feel too much negative energy and judgment coming my way when there were like 5 other people in the room that shut their mouths as soon as the girl addressed me. So I didn't know what to do.

But I am pretty confident in this idea because it happened a couple months ago with my ex. I bumped into the girl in the hallway right before the first class period of the semester. She said I looked lost. We happened to be looking for the same room and so I talked to her for about 30 seconds before class and sat down next to her. Got her number after, played a lil air hockey in the student center and we continued from there. Didn't work out though. She was an ESFJ. Dunno how compatible they are supposed to be with my type. Whatever.

It's just how the world works. Women don't wanna look like 'sluts'. They don't wanna look easy. Society motivates them to a life of purity. Purity has somehow become valued to men whereas I couldn't give two shits about some virgin that's gonna have a vagina so tight I can't even get inside her and to top it off I have to teach her what to even do. That's just lame. But anyway...there reeeeaallly has to be a motivator or something that a girl sees in a guy for them to approach you and talk to you. I mean the most I get is a fake smile in the hallway when I look at a girl. Most girls don't want to look at me. I'm told I'm pretty good looking so this also leads me to believe that girls don't want anything to do with a guy like that because it may be easy for him to get women...especially when he's exclusive and wanted even more. Guys are guys after all. We're more at risk to cheat. We're more horny. Our testosterone isn't produced in cycles and the media makes women look like goddesses.
I think you're full of shit. On the one hand, you claim that girls have approached you out of the blue before, and that whenever this happens it always progresses further:
Yet you also claim to have been surprised when the girl in your class approached you. You say you didn't know how to react:
If you have so much prior experience with girls approaching you in this manner, then where is your confusion coming from?
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You don't know what you're talking about.
Yeah that's what i thought, sir.
True dat.

----------------------------------
Sometimes I approach guys because I just want a damn ego stroke and are not interested in the least bit. Sometimes I approach guys because I'm bored as hell and it's entertaining. Sometimes I strike up a conversation because something about them peaks my curiosity. And, sometimes I approach guys because I want them to whip out their dick and whip it around for me. LOL!

Moral of the story is.....most scenarios do not have a black and white answer. And, it's best to approach without assumptions and go with the flow when a woman approaches a man or vice versa.

Oh yeah, and one of the biggest traps I think a person can fall in is assuming people go about doing things for the same reason they do it. We are all different and just because it would take an act of congress and monumental interest for you to approach a person doesn't mean it has to be the same for someone else.
You don't know what you're talking about.
^Good for you.

By the way this kid talks, it is obvious he is horrifically inexperienced with women.
And believe you me--they can sense this and they will toy with you without shame.

Men cheat more? Women aren't as horny?
If you believe that bullshit, I got a bridge to sell ya.

Get out there, experience life a bit and come back and talk to me in about 5 years.
Welp, that's how it is for people here. And again, maybe it just has to do with girls feeling they aren't in my league. I really hate going on about that. I feel like I'm bragging, but I'm just explaining my situation...which seems valid. I mean I feel like keeping control of an extroverted blonde 9 or 10 would be hard as fuck. Now it's gotta be even harder for a woman to control a man in the reverse situation because he is more horny and more likely to cheat.

I've not experienced any girl approaching me solely for an ego stroke. I've had girls that I've fucked up with or something that I still kind of wanted that would text me for an ego stroke. I know better now not to fall into that bs. I honestly don't think a girl is much of a good source for information. We're all familiar with the silly dilemma that some women face. They will say they want nice guys and run straight to a douchebag time after time. It's nothing new. They just feel bored with the hubby types. And they're young so I suppose they want someone that's a douchebag. So ya see...girls say what they want all the time and they don't even know. They're often easily controlled by their emotions. That's why men have to put up with the game playing bullshit that some women will have men go through in the first place. Not their fault though I suppose...I mean a woman has more to risk engaging a male stranger. They're more vulnerable.
I don't know if men actually cheat more than men. But it's a fact that men are hornier. We have testosterone. It isn't produced cyclically as estrogen is in women. This is just science. WE'RE HORNIER. Plus if you really can't understand gender roles in society then maybe YOU need to go experience the world. See, I'm about to graduate with a degree in Communication. I already know what I'm talking about. But apparently you have no idea. It's simple really. You must be aware that the social norm is for the man to be the move maker. Women are encouraged to be innocent virgins. This is just Get-Out-And-Experience-The-World 101. Men are given high fives for getting it in. Women are scolded, if not, judged negatively.

So this mindset naturally causes girls to play hard to get. They're too cautious. It's unfortunate but that's how it is.
^Good for you.

By the way this kid talks, it is obvious he is horrifically inexperienced with women.
And believe you me--they can sense this and they will toy with you without shame.

Men cheat more? Women aren't as horny?
If you believe that bullshit, I got a bridge to sell ya.

Get out there, experience life a bit and come back and talk to me in about 5 years.
Album cover Photo caption Media Television presenter Fictional character


.......................
They do.
And they get it away with it, too.

I don't know if men actually cheat more than men.
But it's a fact that men are hornier. We have testosterone. It isn't produced cyclically as estrogen is in women. This is just science. WE'RE HORNIER.
This is based more on the individual in question.
Some people have high sex drives, some don't.
Some are men, some are women.

Plus if you really can't understand gender roles in society then maybe YOU need to go experience the world.
Gender education simply alters perspective.
Nothing more, nothing less.

See, I'm about to graduate with a degree in Communication.
Braggart.

I already know what I'm talking about. But apparently you have no idea. It's simple really. You must be aware that the social norm is for the man to be the move maker. Women are encouraged to be innocent virgins. This is just Get-Out-And-Experience-The-World 101.
I can't wait until you get your first girlfriend.
A very rude awakening awaits. I will say nothing more.

Men are given high fives for getting it in. Women are scolded, if not, judged negatively.
Here's my educational lesson for the night:

Women make babies grow in their stomachs. Don't know if you knew that, but you do now.
Babies grow up to be obnoxious pissants who work for criminal corporations and pollute the Earth.

Goddamn jolly well they should be judged harshly.

So this mindset naturally causes girls to play hard to get. They're too cautious. It's unfortunate but that's how it is.
They do this because they get a kick out of torturing the losers.
That would be you, guy.

When a woman is REALLY interested in a guy this "hard-to-get" shit is usually absent.

How 'bout that? Didn't even need a degree in communication to get the point across.
Do make an effort to be succinct next time.
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