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Discussion Starter #101
Aw, you were talking about interesting people, and you do seem to have fondness for some of the dudes in INTP...I had no guesses, it just made sense to ask.
Clearly you've forgotten my harem of ENFPs. And also that time I threatened make out with @lookslikeiwin when I thought she was me. @ethylene , @s2theizay and I probably have some kind of "if no one else asks us to prom" agreement...so why focus on my fondness for the dudes in particular? I blame the patriarchy. If I'm going to be accused of "fondness," I insist some of it be lesbian.

See this is the part I don't get, are sluts usually that likely to become ex sluts? From what I understand it's the opposite.
Depends on what kind of slut, probably. There's the rational slut who is like, "why the hell not?" And then there's the needy slut who craves affirmation from all and sundry. There are probably more varieties of slut, too.

I only know about the rational kind. Once a rational slut gets an answer to the question, "why the hell not?" the sluttiness is done. It was never a character flaw, but a character opportunity. You miss out on a lot when you don't fuck people if you get anything out of fucking people (experience, entertainment, orgasm, etc.). So whatever keeps you from doing that had better be equal or better than what you're missing. Sometimes it is. Math again.

On the other hand, someone who defines themselves via their superspecial partner, well that's all great until you get into a lull. Now what happened to your self-definition? That's the part that I find scary about these "make it special" people. (Not you, just the imaginary guy I said I'd walk away from.) Now they need another superspecial partner.

Meanwhile, the rational slut can be all, "hey just give me a blowjob, will ya?" And things are okay still until whatever crisis passes. The same earthy approach to intimacy that made them a slut can be useful in not overreacting to the necessary ebbs and flows of relationship.

Though honestly, longevity wasn't the primary draw toward marrying a slut, even though it did figure in the decision to never marry a confirmed non-slut. The primary draw of sluts is that they're very experienced. And that rocks. Since (rational again) most relationships end statistically, if you can't say either way, choose the door that knows how to go down on you in a way you never thought of before.
 

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Clearly you've forgotten my harem of ENFPs. And also that time I threatened make out with lookslikeiwin when I thought she was me. ethylene, s2theizay and I probably have some kind of "if no one else asks us to prom" agreement...so why focus on my fondness for the dudes in particular? I blame the patriarchy. If I'm going to be accused of "fondness," I insist some of it be lesbian.
No problem with that.
It could be possible that you and kalei are sx/so, and my being sx/sp is what makes me more conservative.


Depends on what kind of slut, probably. There's the rational slut who is like, "why the hell not?" And then there's the needy slut who craves affirmation from all and sundry. There are probably more varieties of slut, too.

I only know about the rational kind. Once a rational slut gets an answer to the question, "why the hell not?" the sluttiness is done. It was never a character flaw, but a character opportunity. You miss out on a lot when you don't fuck people if you get anything out of fucking people (experience, entertainment, orgasm, etc.). So whatever keeps you from doing that had better be equal or better than what you're missing. Sometimes it is. Math again.

On the other hand, someone who defines themselves via their superspecial partner, well that's all great until you get into a lull. Now what happened to your self-definition? That's the part that I find scary about these "make it special" people. (Not you, just the imaginary guy I said I'd walk away from.) Now they need another superspecial partner.

Meanwhile, the rational slut can be all, "hey just give me a blowjob, will ya?" And things are okay still until whatever crisis passes. The same earthy approach to intimacy that made them a slut can be useful in not overreacting to the necessary ebbs and flows of relationship.

Though honestly, longevity wasn't the primary draw toward marrying a slut, even though it did figure in the decision to never marry a confirmed non-slut. The primary draw of sluts is that they're very experienced. And that rocks. Since (rational again) most relationships end statistically, if you can't say either way, choose the door that knows how to go down on you in a way you never thought of before.
This is easily one of the most exhausting things I've read all month. I think I even gagged, nausea is the tell tale indicator that I'm completely depleted.

I'm sure your approach is the superior one (and this is the second time I pretty much get it spelled out to my face, as it's kaleidoscope's exact same approach) , but at this stage of my life the idea of intimacy makes me sick to my stomach (my last run was pretty awful).

I honestly wish I could lobotomize the portion of my brain that craves closeness so I could chuck it in the trash just so I can get some peace of mind...

This is why I tend to keep the contents of the posts comprising the last few pages inside my head. Even talking about it is stupidly draining for no discernible reason. =_=

*returns to lurking*
 
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That would make too much sense! No, he wants a tactile object he can show off and/or caress and/or manhandle. As is his way.
Get a cheap-o 50$ tablet from china on amazon to go with it LOL
 
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Discussion Starter #104
Get a cheap-o 50$ tablet from china on amazon to go with it LOL
"Here you go, honey, a symbol of my love for you. Cheapo from China, quick ship." He'll love it.
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Sorry, Nell. I didn't mean to make you nauseous. I was trying to answer what you asked me.

It could be possible that you and kalei are sx/so, and my being sx/sp is what makes me more conservative.

I'm sure your approach is the superior one (and this is the second time I pretty much get it spelled out to my face, as it's kaleidoscope's exact same approach) ,
Nah, it's not superior. I mean, not unless it's what you want. If you don't want it, of course it's gross. It would be gross with anybody I didn't want, too.

Superior/inferior--they're just ideas. I've learned some things from this thread. For example, you're probably right about K and me, which is why I instinctively referred to her as acting like my id. (My superego being super strong, however.) But with all that in mind, you probably shouldn't click the next thing.

 
@kaleidoscope sx/so?
 

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Eryngo I totally relate to your original post. I am acutely aware when I am being flirted with. Like it immediately registers as them being interested. But when I get to know someone under the context of platonic friendship I probably will not notice if they start to like me as more than just a friend. So I guess it mostly depends on first impressions; for some reason I get it in my head that the way they feel about me from the start is constant
 

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Discussion Starter #106
So I guess it mostly depends on first impressions; for some reason I get it in my head that the way they feel about me from the start is constant
I never thought of it that way, but I see the sense in it. Probably true.
 

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Sorry, Nell. I didn't mean to make you nauseous. I was trying to answer what you asked me.

Nah, it's not superior. I mean, not unless it's what you want. If you don't want it, of course it's gross. It would be gross with anybody I didn't want, too.

Superior/inferior--they're just ideas.
It's fine, I don't really care and any other time of the year I would not be reacting like this, it just happens that the discussion's catching me at a bad time and I kinda ran out of gas.
 
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To your first question, Eryngo, the answer is nope, I definitely haven't got a clue when somebody is flirting with me! I manage to shoot down any and all advances without knowing it at the time, and only months or years later realize it when a friend says, "Oh, hey, remember when so-and-so had a crush on you?" I vehemently deny any such thing, but then they begin to remind me of times I was asked out for ice cream, complimented repeatedly, or even given a rose on Valentine's day... Seems like I've been crushed on a couple times without knowing it. I just can't get a handle on subtle indications, so if I'm asked out without the words "date" or "girlfriend" said explicitly, it goes over my head.
That was in high school. I'd like to think I've gained a little bit of wisdom, and might catch on about the rose thing if it happened again. Maybe.
Probably not.
 

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Discussion Starter #109
For anyone coming into this thread, new, I feel like explaining something: when I was glibly using the word, "slut," up there, I was actually referring to a guy I know. I was toying with the usual sexist implication of the word and superimposing it on our assumption of what guys are when they are very sexually, "successful," even though, for them, "success" doesn't imply any particular discrimination.

For me, when partnering, I actually prefer, "sluts," or if I'm being honest about what I prefer, "adventurers." At least, this has historically been the case. Rascals make me smile (all genders).

I could have just as easily described a woman as, "adventurous," and that, too, would have been turning the assumptions around. Because for women, the sin seems to be in being indiscriminate, when that might not be the case at all.

I happen to make no moral value judgment on how many people a person has historically taken to bed, male or female, preferring, instead, to focus on their degree of agency in and awareness of what they were doing. And in this way, sexuality is no different than anything else. Were they having fun? Did they feel good about everything? Was it instrumental to their development somehow? That's something to be admired, not disparaged. I think people should be true to their ideals, whatever they are, and sucking the marrow of life (or whatever else) can indeed be an ideal. So if my use of verbiage carried any societal baggage, let me just be clear about that.

/disclaimer
/correction
/pushback
 

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I am well aware of it too, we do have our Ne(intuition). And I think being aware of someone whose flirting with you doesnt count as a really intricate emotion to be consume by an NT.
 

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I clearly notice when someone likes me if they are outright and honest and if they randomly give me compliments etc. - I don't get many unless they are about my "intelligence". If it's anything other than that though, no matter how much research I do into human psychology and body language, I can NEVER decipher subtle hints or even blatant ones, to be frank. It's sad, but hey, I'm glad I don't, because on those rare occasions where I do I become extremely awkward around that person and treat them like and alien :)
 

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Yup. I'm well aware of how I stack up against society's standards of "beauty," on top of it I have a [non-surgically enhanced] hourglass body, which I've had since I was 13.5 years old. I had to be hyper aware of people's motives from a relatively young age especially since I looked as though I was over 18 and had men in their 20s trying to hook up with me. The day I hit puberty was the day my ESFJ father developed a scumbag detector and had one eye open and on men around me at all times.
 

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Like others have already mentioned, I'm aware when the other person is simply trying to hit on me because the interaction feels shallow and I can sense that they want something from me. However, if the other person is genuinely interested in me as a person, I find that the vibes feel more platonic, and it's more difficult to tell if they have romantic intent or if they simply enjoy my company.
 

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well i think we get some hints about someone flirting as we learn to socialize.but the thing is that the information given to us that is called flirting is not the kind of information we can conclude anything from it. So we don't trust it. Beacause it can be proven otherwise.it is not that we don't notice that someone is flirting.
 

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It probably depends on who is doing the flirting. Some guys are extremely obvious. They want you to know they're flirting with you. Others are maybe just nice guys, so it's harder to tell if that's them flirting, or just being nice.
 
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