A world without names is where I live. A road without destinations is what I walk. A home without walls is where I reside. Why am I the only one who sees? Why am I cursed with the deep seeded desire to know, which penetrates through all the falsities which emerge in ordinary life? And what is the end of these falsities to hypnotize us into thinking we are something we are not, so that we can never open eyes to the truth? I can never just go to sleep like others I know and rest upon the whims of external forces to move me; no I am cursed with the desire to want to be the source of my own movements and thinking. And my movements move me in unknown directions, blindfolded I am to the imaginations of control that people find themselves investing in. I know I do not control anything, I am nothing, and I accept that. But I want to be something, I want to be… I want a real name. I know I do not have a real name that I can call my own. In this world we are given names from birth, told who we are, but never are we told to “find” our names, to discover what will be our identity.
Can an identity truly be given? What will occur when all those who call me by this name are gone, who will remind me of my existence then, since this name that I am not, is how I am recognized? Is there a reason to live on in a lie, as if this identity I call “I” has any truth to it whatsoever? I know on this path I travel or better said travail, there is no destination. There is no fairy tale ending, no happily ever after. So why do I walk it? The road is its goal, a home does not await me, and there can be no rest yet. My feet are made to walk and become bruised in order to be strengthened. The seeking for a destination deprives one from the beatitude of living. So why are we hypnotized in this lie of becoming? Whose burden is it that we are carrying? Each person, in the course of their life, should sit in front of a mirror and stare into the lie that they have come to identify themselves with and ask themselves, without lying, excuse or justification, WHAT DO I SERVE? In life you are always serving something, even when you think you are not. So what you are becoming, what and who is it serving? Make sure it is greater than “you”.
The above was inspired by, perhaps, the best anime/manga to EVER be created called, "Monster." It's theme is big on identity and names. But there was a particular scene which inspired this blog... I copied the url to play that particular scene of a old man who is in the last moments of his life. Edit: meh it's not working properly, so here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=o40Ji3o8YYo#t=898s it starts at the 15 min mark