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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello.

I always doubt my looks.Some days I think i'm beautiful thus more confident,other days I consider myself ugly,depending on what I think on that day.Most girls (lots of them) say that I'm handsome,but I believe they are mocking me.Now,I'm faced with a dilemma.Does everyone have something with me or I'm just paranoid ? And if I'm paranoid,how do I fix it ?
PS:Have you ever doubted your appearances ?
 

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Honestly speaking,I have no direct proof for that,and that's why I ask if I'm paranoid .
Does anybody say you are ugly, homely, or average looking?
 

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You probably are paranoid, if you can look at yourself some days and feel confident about yourself and others not then there is proof right there. Being paranoid is natural for anyone really, and honestly if they are mocking you it would be more obvious were there wouldn't be doubt. If you can't tell by the tone of their voice, consider how close you are to them because that might have an effect and also consider their reputation. Are they generally considered kind, or rude? And yes, I personally have hated myself for sometime and doubt my appearance but there are times where you are enjoying yourself and you find that the way you look doesn't really matter.
 

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I doubt my decisions, which leads to things like feature creep and over engineering, but seem to be fairly consistent on how I perceive myself.
 

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I had a lot of these doubts when I was a younger adult. I was a very chubby kid among other things in my early teens. It took years for me to get past those old doubts, and there were times when my confidence would sway from day to day. But as time progressed and I looked back, I knew that any time I felt like this in my adult life it was just that old lack of confidence, and not the truth.
 

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Generally speaking, women won’t tell a man or imply that a man is handsome if he isn’t. Keep that in mind if you’re feeling a lack of confidence. It makes sense that you would feel doubtful if you’re not one to place a lot of weight on the opinions of others. How can you objectively believe you’re good looking if beauty is subjective? It just leads to doubt and a lack of confidence. Just make it easy for yourself and go with the majority in this particular instance.

It’s happened to me quite often that I will feel unattractive, but general consensus is the opposite. I’m just used to my face, so it’s hard to be impressed. I know it can be hard, but try not to overthink it.
 

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It's normal to be paranoid about your looks. For a heterosexual guy, I think having a successful career, having money, having self confidence (even a little cocky), driving a nice car, etc. are more important when attracting the opposite sex. Basically, become the alpha male.

It's a game that people in society play called "status". Of course, physical attributes matter, but it's more important for women. An ugly man gains many status points by having a beautiful girlfriend/wife. As an INTP, being an intellectual also increases your status points.

In summary, it is okay to be ugly for a man if you can compensate in other areas. It's not okay for a woman though. This is just my personal observation, and I'm neither for nor against how modern society works.
 

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Self doubt is a part of my everyday life. I have a tendency to question and analyze everything, from my looks to personal qualities, decisions and so on. How do I cope with it? I conclude a bunch of things and then just get comfy with who I am. Maybe this is going to sound patronizing, but.. You are young and those kind of thoughts on your looks are natural for your age. I don't think you are paranoid, it's too strong of a word. Personally, I would gradually switch from worrying about appearances to worrying about other qualities that are more important in life.
 

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I have had a few (very few) semi-positive comments about my looks over the years with all the negative comments being during my childhood when I was overweight. The positive comments were made generally to counter my already negative opinion of my looks, so I dont take them too seriously.
Paying attention only to how women behave when around me, I have never had the impression that any of them saw me as a member of the opposite sex let alone a potential object of sexual/romantic desire.
So yeah, I have serious doubts concerning my looks.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Generally speaking, women won’t tell a man or imply that a man is handsome if he isn’t. Keep that in mind if you’re feeling a lack of confidence. It makes sense that you would feel doubtful if you’re not one to place a lot of weight on the opinions of others. How can you objectively believe you’re good looking if beauty is subjective? It just leads to doubt and a lack of confidence. Just make it easy for yourself and go with the majority in this particular instance.

It’s happened to me quite often that I will feel unattractive, but general consensus is the opposite. I’m just used to my face, so it’s hard to be impressed. I know it can be hard, but try not to overthink it.
Good advice,thanks.And also,you think like me ;)
 
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