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Who else worries incessantly about having perfect grades in school? I just got a B+ and an A- for two of this past semester's courses and feel quite sad about it, even though I do have an A+ as well and go to an incredibly difficult institution. I just feel like an A- and a B+ are nowhere near good enough ... and I totally beat myself up over them!

I'm still waiting on one more grade and am pretty sure it's going to be below the A I want. Aaaaarrrrrgh. Anyone else feel this way about academics?
 

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I think it's good to strive for a high GPA, but I wouldn't consider someone with a 3.8 to be somehow inferior to someone with a 4.0 for example. There is a lot of subjectivity and variables that go into grading, especially subjects like English or art, that make the grades less meaningful. Grades aren't always a good indication of intelligence either, I think they're usually actually more useful to gauge how academically lazy someone is. There are plenty of smart underachievers out there who just hate the structure and style of formal education.
 

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Thanks, @Another Lost Cause, I really needed to read that.

I got my first (and only) B of my academic career last year in the first semester of Algebra II honors, and while I know the teacher's absence and failure to really teach anything useful contributed to it, I still couldn't stop punishing myself for it. I felt really hopeless and my self-worth diminished a ton. To this day, I get really scared when I'm sitting at a 90 or 91% even though I recognize how stupid it is to let conformity define me. I was once telling a friend of mine when she was being bullied by these kids for being lower in the class rank than them that GPA doesn't even measure intelligence; it measures how well you conform to the education system. She's way smarter than them, but doesn't care enough to try to do EVERY extra credit assignment or spend all night studying for fun like teachers want students to.

It's like I understand that GPA is a pointless thing that only measures how well you do what teachers tell you, but considering how much pressure it can cause (thanks, society), I still give in and get all anxious over being less than perfect. Take it from a fellow perfectionist. :dry:
 

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I think my fear of failure is caused by my family. Even though they are "ok" with me getting a B, they will constantly remind me about it and ask things like if I no longer have a 4.0. I'm pretty sensitive so I guess this contributed to always wanting straight A's.

The rational side of me says one or two B won't matter since the college I'm aiming for is not THAT hard to get into and I take honors courses. But the side of me that worries equates a B to the end of the world. My english teacher gets annoyed with this attitude from honors kids and things like how we use a calculator to check our percentages right away. It's funny how much we care and how all of us are scared even about the slightest influx in our grades. (even the smartest A+ kids check)
 
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If you worry about grades, you might not be an INFP unless you're in an Si/Fi (maybe even Si/Te) loop.
 

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May I ask, what exactly makes you say that?
Well, I'm an INFP, and I always shoot for whatever will get me to just barely pass while still allowing for minimum stress and maximum free time.
 

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Well, I'm an INFP, and I always shoot for whatever will get me to just barely pass while still allowing for minimum stress and maximum free time.
I see, thanks for elaborating. But still, wherever people choose to allocate their time and energy isn't a one-size-fits-all as far as defining the characteristics of something as broad as an entire personality type (although sometimes, in the case of anxiety and expectations brought on by academics, it isn't always a choice). While it may be the case for you, it doesn't necessarily have to be for others.
 

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Thanks, @Another Lost Cause, I really needed to read that.

I got my first (and only) B of my academic career last year in the first semester of Algebra II honors, and while I know the teacher's absence and failure to really teach anything useful contributed to it, I still couldn't stop punishing myself for it. I felt really hopeless and my self-worth diminished a ton. To this day, I get really scared when I'm sitting at a 90 or 91% even though I recognize how stupid it is to let conformity define me. I was once telling a friend of mine when she was being bullied by these kids for being lower in the class rank than them that GPA doesn't even measure intelligence; it measures how well you conform to the education system. She's way smarter than them, but doesn't care enough to try to do EVERY extra credit assignment or spend all night studying for fun like teachers want students to.

It's like I understand that GPA is a pointless thing that only measures how well you do what teachers tell you, but considering how much pressure it can cause (thanks, society), I still give in and get all anxious over being less than perfect. Take it from a fellow perfectionist. :dry:
I made a C in electrical engineering my freshman year due to having a shitty teacher who let us get away with looking at porn during class and was devastated. Senior year, I nearly failed AP English and managed to pass it too with a C. Fast forward towards the end of the school year, and I graduated with a 4.33 gpa and a few spots away from being included in the top ten. You'll do fine.
 

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I see, thanks for elaborating. But still, wherever people choose to allocate their time and energy isn't a one-size-fits-all as far as defining the characteristics of something as broad as an entire personality type (although sometimes, in the case of anxiety and expectations brought on by academics, it isn't always a choice). While it may be the case for you, it doesn't necessarily have to be for others.
Damn society...
 

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If you worry about grades, you might not be an INFP.
Actually, I have a couple INFP friends who put a lot of academic pressure on themselves. High academic expectations aren't a reason to question type.

Lawd, I wish I placed a higher priority on academics. I know that if intelligence was measured at my school, I'd be in the top five, but I don't set high expectations for myself because none of the classes really motivate me.

High school is not for me, your class grade depends on if you did your assignments and if you can memorize information. I love learning, but I don't want a good grade because I took notes, studied them, and could regurgitate them on a piece of paper. I'm so disenchanted with my Honors English class because it's all comprehension and if you read than you'll ace the quiz - good gosh, challenge me, make me think critically! As for maths and sciences, I want to learn concepts that can be applied to other ideas and principles - I guess that's the Ne in me. The only class I feel motivated to succeed in is my college U.S. History class. That class is not one where you get an A by studying and memorizing facts - you have to analyze and connect patterns to understand what caused certain events...and the essays, good gracious, are all analysis and you pretty much have to pull all of your support/argument from your butt. But I enjoy it because it actually allows me to use my intellect. And guess what? I have a freaking A in that class!

I've gotten Bs before and I find myself disappointed in myself because I know I'm a high A student, but I have to remind myself that I don't put in as much effort as I could so I can only be but so dissatisfied. I wish I had half as much drive as you...
 

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And wow, thanks @acidicwithpanic. It really means a lot to me that you took the time to respond with that. Filled me with hope, I guess. But that aside, that's pretty darn impressive! Thanks for sharing.
 
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I'm not in school any more (going to uni soon though) and I literally went crazy trying to get good grades. I'm in the UK though idk how different it is here to America. I ended up being two years behind after having to go to a psychiatric ward a few times for mental health problems that were triggered by pressure at school and then got progressively worse. Obviously many other things caused those problems too, but the thing that set them off was school. I have no idea why I care so much, but I do. I think it's an Fi/Si thing, maybe Te, too. Be careful that you don't obsess over it too much, though. It's not the most important thing in the world, honestly :)
 

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If you worry about grades, you might not be an INFP unless you're in an Si/Fi (maybe even Si/Te) loop.
One of my friends who I suspect to be INFP (maybe ENFP), graduated salutatorian. If stereotypes were a tell-tale sign of type, then she would obviously be an INFP being an artist and heading off to film school. She eventually changed her area of study and graduated with a bachelor's in graphic design and a 3.5 gpa. There are other factors to consider like cultural background. (She's Filipino and her parents were really strict about school.)
 

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I'm with @Tetsuo Shima on this one, I never really cared about school as long as I passed. Most classes just seemed like a huge waste of daydreaming time:unsure: I never studied, never did any homework and was able to move along carefree with a B- average.
 
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One of my friends who I suspect to be INFP (maybe ENFP), graduated salutatorian. If stereotypes were a tell-tale sign of type, then she would obviously be an INFP being an artist and heading off to film school. She eventually changed her area of study and graduated with a bachelor's in graphic design and a 3.5 gpa. There are other factors to consider like cultural background. (She's Filipino and her parents were really strict about school.)
She sounds just like the person who first told me about the MBTI. She thought she was an INFP because of stereotypes, but she turned out to be an INTJ.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
So here's the thing: I am definitely an INFP and simply tend to obsess over being perfect ALL the time. Grades, friends, weight, anything. It's not unusual for INFPs to be perfectionist. Also, I do have some INTJ tendencies, but I think those are LEARNED behaviors that are not as innate as my INFP tendencies.
 

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Grades were always an odd thing to me. I never needed to try to get good grades and I knew from a young age that having high grades didn't mean you were smart nor competent. There are a lot of people who pass the exams and get high grades yet are unable to think outside of the box. Then there are the others who just cram and pass and have no idea what's going on. Attaching your sense of self worth to your grades is a recipe for misery.

When I used to teach, I looked for competency in my students. I wanted them to know the material as well as the foundation and fundamentals as to why things were the way they were and how to manipulate them to their satisfaction within the environment. Regurgitators never impressed me; when something goes wrong, they have no idea what to do.
 

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"Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough - that we should try again."

Julia Cameron

"In order to go on living one must try to escape the death involved in perfectionism."

Hannah Arendt

“Perfection is inexistent. It is the short-lived joy of muddling in the dips of a superficial life in a bid to bury who we really are.”

Chinonye J. Chidolue

“Perhaps we'll never know how far the path can go, how much a human being can truly achieve, until we realize that the ultimate reward is not a gold medal but the path itself.”

George Leonard


Perfectionism is a disease or at the very least a symptom of one. I suffered from it in the past, I was convinced that by striving to be perfect I would achieve the most in my life. But you know what? I've achieved a lot more since I stopped with trying to be perfect. I feel a 1000x times less pressure when I have to make a decision. Perfectionism is paralyzing. Letting go of perfectionism is liberating!! It will make your soul lighter, it will raise your energy vibration frequency, you will have less trouble in life because your soul will feel less heavy to carry around.

There is so much you can learn from mistakes, many good things can happen if you make a wrong decision, you might end up in a happy place if you take the 'wrong' career path for instance.

Don't punish yourself for your mistakes but celebrate your mistakes! Making mistakes shows you are human, a beautiful being, and not a cold robot.

Really guys....liberate yourself....remove the shackles of perfectionism....accept that you are a perfect being already....a perfect being that is 100% imperfect.
 
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