I'm an ENTP with an INFJ (been together 9 months, friends a year before that) and had read when I first got involved in this relationship that one of the biggest issues with an ENTP/INFJ pairing is that the ENTP may not feel accepted. This is somewhat turning out to be true and I just want some input from other INFJ's.
My INFJ is quite analytical, he has reasons for everything he does pretty much, idk if thats typical for an INFJ or not. Meanwhile, I'm 100% P and he just can't understand that I don't need a reason or point for what I want or do. Just as an example, we were going to make desert and we had stuff for cookies and stuff for pie. In his mind, it was either cookies OR pie. He asked what I wanted and I said lets make both. He couldn't make sense of why I'd want both and really there's nothing to make sense of, there is no point. I just wanted cookies with my pie. But he was combative about it and argued with logic (its too much sugar, we can make the cookies tomorrow so we have something different for desert/a snack) and I have really no comeback except I WANT COOKIES WITH MY PIE!
He always lets me have whatever I want in the end, but it drives me up the wall. It just seems like he makes a big deal out of things that are so petty, and he knows that its petty and unimportant, but he has to argue and be combative anyway. I get tired of sticking up for myself and arguing my pointless actions, it'd be nice if he could just accept that I do random things or want random things for no reason and let me without having to give me a hard time. And if I give up and say nevermind or just forget it and tell him to do what he wants, he gets a bit irritated.
Anyway, I'm thick skinned so I'm not emotionally hurt by this or anything, but it does drive me crazy. Sometimes I wonder why he even wants me when he can find a girl who thinks more like him or who is more passive and will go along with what he thinks is appropriate.
Can anybody give me some insight about whats going on in the INTJ mind when this happens or what I can say/do to get him to kinda chill out a bit?
My INFJ is quite analytical, he has reasons for everything he does pretty much, idk if thats typical for an INFJ or not. Meanwhile, I'm 100% P and he just can't understand that I don't need a reason or point for what I want or do. Just as an example, we were going to make desert and we had stuff for cookies and stuff for pie. In his mind, it was either cookies OR pie. He asked what I wanted and I said lets make both. He couldn't make sense of why I'd want both and really there's nothing to make sense of, there is no point. I just wanted cookies with my pie. But he was combative about it and argued with logic (its too much sugar, we can make the cookies tomorrow so we have something different for desert/a snack) and I have really no comeback except I WANT COOKIES WITH MY PIE!
He always lets me have whatever I want in the end, but it drives me up the wall. It just seems like he makes a big deal out of things that are so petty, and he knows that its petty and unimportant, but he has to argue and be combative anyway. I get tired of sticking up for myself and arguing my pointless actions, it'd be nice if he could just accept that I do random things or want random things for no reason and let me without having to give me a hard time. And if I give up and say nevermind or just forget it and tell him to do what he wants, he gets a bit irritated.
Anyway, I'm thick skinned so I'm not emotionally hurt by this or anything, but it does drive me crazy. Sometimes I wonder why he even wants me when he can find a girl who thinks more like him or who is more passive and will go along with what he thinks is appropriate.
Can anybody give me some insight about whats going on in the INTJ mind when this happens or what I can say/do to get him to kinda chill out a bit?