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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
A question was asked why we sometimes ramble. I tried to explain that Ne brainstorms on new ideas. Since we're extroverts + feeling we will want to brainstorm with others if there is a new idea and that this can get super fun and energizing. I said something close to, "If you want to frustrate us, then stay silent despite our attempts to engage you in the topic and it will sort of become this agonized lecture on something we know nothing about. Not our intention."

I wrote this and felt humor about it, but then all of a sudden I remembered so many times in college when I had worn my poor roommates out and I was still brainstorming and musing on ideas and how I was left hanging and feeling misunderstood.

I realize why I was so hurt looking back. It's because my best thing was being rejected. Instead of thinking "I've got more energy." I thought, "Nobody understands me-- they didn't like my ideas".
I realized today that I would hardly ever be able to say, "It's because they can't match me. It's because this is my strength." Because the other part of that strength is trying to reach the other person where they are at. Like if the other person wasn't having a good time, I perceive it as my failure to read them or to find something engaging for them.
I realize what a paradox and what a difficult thing this is as a strength. Some of it depends on our ability to find people to express it with.
I need to accept this strength and love myself for it-- even if I'm not exactly able to create what I had hoped to with the other person. Recognizing my need to engage and explore thoughts and calling it the strength that it is goes a long way.

Conversely, I met the most over-the-top ENFP of my life the other day. She is diagnosed with high-functioning autism. There was no cap or control on the Ne and what should have taken 1 hour took 2 hours. When I was listening to her I thought, "Is this what I SOUND like?" Each concept linked to the last was a complete thought, but like in a branching chain--- like in a starch---
my dietitian mind there--
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS4qBZNDKdCjh4wt7_GS6enTABVoVQ55YMHxM0wVOTP27gmyQMe
and then had to loop backwards to the root topic and usually got lost along the way.
That's how she talked, rambling so happily.
May I say a thank you for people who put up with me if I was ever that bad.
So it's our strength-- our happy strength-- and I need to appreciate that and I DO-- more than ever, but when Ne is controlled and modified to meet the situation, how incredible are we? I have found much of my current balance with time.
My love to all of us, sometimes it's not easy.
 

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Yep, I do that a lot where I sort of don't relate to the idea, or it doesn't even occur to me, that other people don't have the same strengths that I do. That's such a slippery slope of ego-centric thinking that I try to mostly blank it out, but it is somewhat true.

I have a very poor awareness of this, I actually think it is my Si that kind of jots these things down as bulletpoints which is why I am kind of disinterested in it compared to a lot of other people whom are ultra focused on it. Some people feel a surge of confidence and delight when they get to use their "strengths", but I have to remind myself in detail format, pretty much like checking how much is in your bank account before you see how easily you could afford something, that kind of feeling. The result is the same, or often better, but I don't get the same ego-boost. Sometimes I do sit and think about it, but it can go to my head which is not a good thing. You need balance really.

Then again, there is the opposite symptom that those people who delight in their strengths also conversely have to have an opposing effect of shying away from their weaknesses, plus a compacency with their strengths, which hinders growth potential.

It's hard to find that balance, because being complacent is bad, but probably being too far the other way you can have a tendency to be a little to hard on yourself (like in your example) which is not productive either.
 

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A question was asked why we sometimes ramble. [...]

I realize why I was so hurt looking back. It's because my best thing was being rejected. Instead of thinking "I've got more energy." I thought, "Nobody understands me-- they didn't like my ideas".
I realized today that I would hardly ever be able to say, "It's because they can't match me. It's because this is my strength." [...]
Sometimes, yes, it's that.

Sometimes it's because we [the people listening to ENFPs] want to see where things go without interference.

Sometimes it's because, while you've spent the last hour/day/week/month/year thinking about whatever it is you're talking about, this is the first time the subject has been broached to our brains, and we hardly know what to say.

Sometimes it's because we see a fatal fallacy in your thinking, but, noting your enthusiasm, don't want to pop your bubble of joy.

Sometimes it's because we're thinking about someone we love.

Sometimes it's because we're asleep.
 

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* Please continue rambling; It is very amusing and insightful.

* We may not ask as many questions as you do but we're definitely listening.

* Sometimes the other person needs time to evaluate your ideas; if there's something to it, we'll bring it up later.

* In case of esoteric discussions, written correspondence may be better than texting/face-to-face conversations.

* Sometimes a person cannot be deciphered in one sitting. Have patience and things will become more clear with time.

This advice is for all ENFPs.
 

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Sometimes we don't get that connection that we are craving. Don't let that take away from you. People love your Ne. It's you and it's beautiful.

I find I get this ramble and no feedback from intuitives too. People who would normally happily delve into topics with me but I just failed to engage/ read their disinterest in this topic. It takes me a while to slow down and realise "you're not actually that interested are you?" Whilst it makes me feel like an idiot and frustrated that I have no outlet to dive into something and feed off of others input... I dunno if there was a point to this, I was hoping to find it before I finished. Um, whatever. I'm still proud of my passion and what would I do if I didn't have the internet to find like minded people who want to ramble with me?
 
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Discussion Starter #7
Sometimes we don't get that connection that we are craving. Don't let that take away from you. People love your Ne. It's you and it's beautiful.

I find I get this ramble and no feedback from intuitives too. People who would normally happily delve into topics with me but I just failed to engage/ read their disinterest in this topic. It takes me a while to slow down and realise "you're not actually that interested are you?" Whilst it makes me feel like an idiot and frustrated that I have no outlet to dive into something and feed off of others input... I dunno if there was a point to this, I was hoping to find it before I finished. Um, whatever. I'm still proud of my passion and what would I do if I didn't have the internet to find like minded people who want to ramble with me?
Exactly! This caused me a lot of hard ache and embarrassment especially through college. Trying to find people who were cabable of this is difficult and without it, so lonely, right? Yes PerC and you all help. Finding my husband definitely helps. This is us for hours brainstorming and musing.
Me deciding to give love to myself for this helps.
 
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I wanted to bring this one up again. I actually thought about this one for a while because this topic runs very deep for me-- it's about identity and about the loneliest places of my heart. I needed the ENFP responses-- I needed to know if this ran deep for them too. Thank you to @Tridentus and to @Falling Foxes. @odinthor and @Dissenter I thought that things you guys said were really nice insights into the INFJ sitting across from me who I think I have just absolutely worn out. 2 things I would love:
1. If there is a flaw in the thinking, point it out immediately. A lot of the time we are making it all up on the spot, and our train of thought will change with each piece of information and this is one of the joys in brainstorming with someone else anyway. Watch the ENFP adapt to the thought very quickly and change direction and it will bring stronger better ideas. We LOVE you guys for this. Don't hold back!
If it is something I've conjured up over months, still speak up!
2. So we rattle on--- and you're thinking of someone else? *smiles and shakes head-- rolls eyes*

How awesome were all you guys in these responses? Very appreciated.
 

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1. If there is a flaw in the thinking, point it out immediately. A lot of the time we are making it all up on the spot, and our train of thought will change with each piece of information and this is one of the joys in brainstorming with someone else anyway. Watch the ENFP adapt to the thought very quickly and change direction and it will bring stronger better ideas. We LOVE you guys for this. Don't hold back!
This made me wonder at how easily I am swayed by opinions or new information. I can turn 180 if the new information is enough to be convincing... is this something that you struggle with to? It's like struggling to pick a side of the argument because two opinions make some really good points and you can see how they are both right. In some ways I think it can be abused to make me gullible. In other ways at least it means I can adapt and not get stuck in a false opinion.
 
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I wanted to bring this one up again. I actually thought about this one for a while because this topic runs very deep for me-- it's about identity and about the loneliest places of my heart. I needed the ENFP responses-- I needed to know if this ran deep for them too. Thank you to @Tridentus and to @Falling Foxes. @odinthor and @Dissenter I thought that things you guys said were really nice insights into the INFJ sitting across from me who I think I have just absolutely worn out. 2 things I would love:
1. If there is a flaw in the thinking, point it out immediately. A lot of the time we are making it all up on the spot, and our train of thought will change with each piece of information and this is one of the joys in brainstorming with someone else anyway. Watch the ENFP adapt to the thought very quickly and change direction and it will bring stronger better ideas. We LOVE you guys for this. Don't hold back!
If it is something I've conjured up over months, still speak up!
2. So we rattle on--- and you're thinking of someone else? *smiles and shakes head-- rolls eyes*

How awesome were all you guys in these responses? Very appreciated.
1. Noted. However, sometimes your happiness and enthusiasm matter more to us than the truth. It would be like interrupting the oboist when he's playing that delightful theme from the 3rd movement of the pastoral symphony.
2. Well, if it's any consolation, the fact that you remind us of someone else makes you all the more beautiful. And sometimes we get a heartache listening to you talk and have to excuse ourselves and go cry our heart out in our room to the second movement of Beethoven violin concerto or that of his Emperor concerto while being glad that our INFP sister was there in the room to entertain you.

Sorry for my insufferable music analogies. :p
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Have *I* been entertained by your INFP sister? LMAO. Tell her hi!
 
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This made me wonder at how easily I am swayed by opinions or new information. I can turn 180 if the new information is enough to be convincing... is this something that you struggle with to? It's like struggling to pick a side of the argument because two opinions make some really good points and you can see how they are both right. In some ways I think it can be abused to make me gullible. In other ways at least it means I can adapt and not get stuck in a false opinion.
What you need is an INXJ with a developed tertiary fuction to provide you with the best, handpicked, streamlined opinion. We've already thought of everything and picked the best option. Ours is the only divine truth. :p But careful, not all INXJs develop their tertiary function.
 
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