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The ENJF is my supervisor. I was making joke and he took it seriously and it hurt him. I apologized and that seemed to ease some tension but I could still feel there was tension. I have told him several times that my words don't always come out the right way and I did not mean what I said in a mean way. I think he only partially bought that explanation. Now how can I fix the relationship?
 

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MOTM Feb 2011
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Give him time. I am usually quick to forgive, and I forget to hold a grudge against people.
 

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The ENJF is my supervisor. I was making joke and he took it seriously and it hurt him. I apologized and that seemed to ease some tension but I could still feel there was tension. I have told him several times that my words don't always come out the right way and I did not mean what I said in a mean way. I think he only partially bought that explanation. Now how can I fix the relationship?
If it means a lot and you don't want to wait, yo ucan always give him a small token of appreciation, like even a card wih something insightful written on it, by you. Or something else, hat has a nice meaning. That should work, I think.
 

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If you already apologized sincerely, then he has probably already forgiven you. But he may still need time to stop feeling hurt about it. Sometimes I get hurt and then even though I forgive the other person, it takes awhile for me to forget the painful feeling.
Don't go on and on about it- that will just remind him and may make things worse. Just be a little sensitive over the next little while and treat him with kindness so he knows that you were sincere with your apology...:happy:
 

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Time is the key. However, a nice hand-written note will help or a card of appreciation goes a long way.
 

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this might not be the case of what i will be explaining, of course, and he might really have taken it seriously, but if you apologised, it's just gonna go away.
however, i wanted to give some insight on what else could have happened -
you know, for a different perspective on this -

even though you might feel like he really took it personally and got hurt, sometimes there are situations in which an enfj might deliberately act as if has taken something that is a joke seriously and appear hurt even if he understands that it was just a joke and is not really hurt that much - it's like the enfj wants you to know that the joke was inappropriate, in his opinion.
or maybe it's just me, but sometimes i do act like that, for example, when my dad jokes really inappropriately in my opinion - i pretend that i didn't take it as a joke and ask him not to say such things, because i don't want him to do it again, since it might hurt someone for real - i've seen my mother really hurt due to his inconsiderate jokes.
it's like trying to teach the person some manners, limits - especially if it's someone who thinks is responsible for you (and supervisor is supposedly responsible for your personal growth) and for others with whom you might communicate.
 

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Yeah, I'd just apologize once. I know that I get over things and forgive people really quickly as well - usually if I'm offended or hurt by something, I just need a little bit of time because I can usually put myself in the other person's shoes and understand where they are or were coming from.
 
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