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Alright, so recently, (a couple of weeks or so ago) I accomplished a major life time goal. It took, a lot of work, planning, and thinking. It's a goal I've been working on since I was 19, I'm 25 years now. The closer I got to it, the happier, and and more excited I got. For months and months I could smell how close I was getting, and it was bliss. The funny part, here, is ONCE I GOT IT, I had this weird empty feeling. Like. Um, now what? It wasn't as great as thought it would be, infact, I think it's something I don't even want.
It had me questioning myself for awhile. Like what the fuck did I just do? Did I just like the process. Was I wrong for doing this? Given, just to finally get something I've wanted for such a long time, made me proud, but I'm left feeling confused now? It took a lot of the fire out of my belly once I got it, and I've just been feeling lathargic, and have been kind of half assing the other goals I have set up in my life now.
I guess, what I was thinking, is when I finally accomplished this, I would reach some type of nirvana. And, although it's good, it is not nirvana. And I'm infact disappointed that it's not. I guess what I'm after, is this "super ideal life", and the hope something like that could exist, was/is exciting.
Hmm.
It had me questioning myself for awhile. Like what the fuck did I just do? Did I just like the process. Was I wrong for doing this? Given, just to finally get something I've wanted for such a long time, made me proud, but I'm left feeling confused now? It took a lot of the fire out of my belly once I got it, and I've just been feeling lathargic, and have been kind of half assing the other goals I have set up in my life now.
I guess, what I was thinking, is when I finally accomplished this, I would reach some type of nirvana. And, although it's good, it is not nirvana. And I'm infact disappointed that it's not. I guess what I'm after, is this "super ideal life", and the hope something like that could exist, was/is exciting.
Hmm.