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Just wanted to bring this up and get a little forum survey. Are you taking these steps to better yourselves? Have you? Do you believe these steps will truly help? please post a little response after each one. Maybe different areas of this article some of us have more practice and we can help each other out with areas we have put more effort into and make the INFJ community on here a strong one.



Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve INFJ Success

Feed Your Strengths! Do things that allow your brilliant intuition and service-oriented manner to flourish.

Face Your Weaknesses! See your weaknesses for what they are, and seek to overcome them. Especially, strive to use your judgment against your internal ideas and intuitions, rather than as a means of disregarding other people's ideas.

Talk Through Your Thoughts. You need to step through your intuitions in order to put them into perspective. Give yourself time to do this, and take advantage of discussing ideas with others. You'll find externalizing your internal intuitions to be a valuable exercise.

Take in Everything. Don't dismiss ideas prematurely because you don't respect the person generating the ideas, or because you think you already know it all. After all, everybody has something to offer, and nobody knows everything. Steven Covey says it so well when he says: "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood."

When You Get Angry, You Lose. Your passion and intensity are strong assets, but can be very harmful if you allow yourself to fall into the "Anger Trap". Remember that Anger is destructive to your personal relationships. Work through your anger before you impress it upon others, or you will likely find yourself alone. Disagreements and disappointments can only be handled effectively in a non-personal and dispassionate manner.

Keep Your Eye on the Big Picture Watch out for your tendency to become obsessed with details. If you find yourself feeling very, very strongly about a small detail, take a big step back and make sure that you can still see the goal. You're not going to get there if you get mired in the details.

Be Accountable for Yourself. Don't blame the problems in your life on other people. Look inwardly for solutions. No one has more control over your life than you have.

Be Humble. Judge yourself at least as harshly as you judge others.

Assume the Best. Don't distress yourself and others by dwelling on the dark side of everything. Just as there is a positive charge for every negative charge, there is a light side to every dark side. Remember that positive situations are created by positive attitudes. Expect the best, and the best will come forward.

Relax! Do yourself a favor and learn how to effectively unwind. Get exercise and restful sleep. Take vacations. Engage in relaxing activities. Take care of yourself and your loved ones by learning to let go of your passion and intensity for a respite.
 

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Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve INFJ Success

Feed Your Strengths! Do things that allow your brilliant intuition and service-oriented manner to flourish.
Besides giving my friends advice, I don't do this that often. Anyone else have any ideas?
Face Your Weaknesses! See your weaknesses for what they are, and seek to overcome them. Especially, strive to use your judgment against your internal ideas and intuitions, rather than as a means of disregarding other people's ideas.
I do this all too often, and I really shouldn't. I don't take in a piece of new information, (zoning out) because my intuition simply just doesn't care. anyone ever had to force yourself to listen in class when you were so bored you kinda zone out into the back of your head? I need som ehelp with this one. any suggestions?
Talk Through Your Thoughts. You need to step through your intuitions in order to put them into perspective. Give yourself time to do this, and take advantage of discussing ideas with others. You'll find externalizing your internal intuitions to be a valuable exercise.
I am always externalizing my ideas with others. Sometimes we think that our intuitions are childish or too immature for others, but certain individuals really enjoy them, wether the laugh or just stare at me like I am a freak, I have enough love in my life where I feel safe externalizing my inner world sometimes and talking it over with other people. (I am often confused as an extrovert sometimes because of this), keep in mind though, I have to trust you and you have to appreciate my creativity for me to externalize around you. Or be personality cafe. I externalize on here a lot. there is no shame in being creative. Sometimes creative people are wrong, but sometimes our minds and intuitions get stuck and can't find that right piece of information to collect. Others have really helped me with this on here in the past...a very special (to me) dark haired guru once helped me with something I was entirely stuck on once.

Take in Everything. Don't dismiss ideas prematurely because you don't respect the person generating the ideas, or because you think you already know it all. After all, everybody has something to offer, and nobody knows everything. Steven Covey says it so well when he says: "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood."
I have come into contact with other people doing this on the forum. and also I have done it too. I tend to not read some things because I don't like who posted it. lol.
I have my reasons but maybe I am simply justifying my own wrongs.

When You Get Angry, You Lose. Your passion and intensity are strong assets, but can be very harmful if you allow yourself to fall into the "Anger Trap". Remember that Anger is destructive to your personal relationships. Work through your anger before you impress it upon others, or you will likely find yourself alone. Disagreements and disappointments can only be handled effectively in a non-personal and dispassionate manner.
I totally agree with this. Sometimes it is hard because the issue is so personal to me, and that "too personal" feeling can get in the way, and I really hate getting angry. one of the one things I can almost 100% relate to about being an INFJ, I really freak out after I yell at someone. It's like I yell and then they get really uncomfortable and then I just take it all out on myself... it isn't good. or healthy. I have been using that walk away immediately method and coming back into the situation for a long time now and it really REALLY helps.

Keep Your Eye on the Big Picture Watch out for your tendency to become obsessed with details. If you find yourself feeling very, very strongly about a small detail, take a big step back and make sure that you can still see the goal. You're not going to get there if you get mired in the details.
reading this I always thought us INFJ's all had the same goal, but it think this is just talking about goals in general.
anyway.
I am trying to do that, I focus to much on the hurtles I have to jump over and never end up "getting over them."

Be Accountable for Yourself. Don't blame the problems in your life on other people. Look inwardly for solutions. No one has more control over your life than you have.
I never blame my problems on other people. I actually tend to blame all my problems on myself. More recently than ever. I tend not to talk about this because people tell me it isn't my fault. But I know, I always know there was something I could have done to prevent any kind of distressing situation. I mean, we all can. Seeing everything from multiple points of view just makes me either blame myself, or even more wise blame everyone. lol. if everyone is to blame than no one is. therefore there is no blame. lol. I dunno. now I am externalizing.... wrong bullet. :laughing:

Be Humble. Judge yourself at least as harshly as you judge others.
honestly... I am not the best at this. I try to judge myself, but I have said some blatant awkward things. I like asking people things though. making a guess about them then asking them. say like if a friend is tired. I am amazed at how often I am wrong sometimes and I seriously just take a step back to take in more information.

Assume the Best. Don't distress yourself and others by dwelling on the dark side of everything. Just as there is a positive charge for every negative charge, there is a light side to every dark side. Remember that positive situations are created by positive attitudes. Expect the best, and the best will come forward.
I HAVE been doing this recently. With quitting smoking and starting an exercise program... it's been wonderful. Visions of success are the best kind to have and I usually tend to only get them when I am in a successful mind-frame. Next time you are feeling particularly amazing I suggest letting your mind play the imagination game and see what the future holds.

Relax! Do yourself a favor and learn how to effectively unwind. Get exercise and restful sleep. Take vacations. Engage in relaxing activities. Take care of yourself and your loved ones by learning to let go of your passion and intensity for a respite.
I am not sure I ever had an issue with this. I guess I do but I can't think of it right now. maybe that is because I am sort of relaxing right now anyway.
 

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Feed Your Strengths!
I used to do that in a more constructive manner especially in things research related. I get ideas and try to put them into practice to help others in the general sense. At the moment I just get ideas and plan but can’t put anything into practice. I need to get back to the proper environment.

Face Your Weaknesses!

*roll eyes* that is all I face these days! Haha I need to focus on my strengths. I can be really self-critical at times which lead to feelings of guilt, uselessness, and helplessness. So my advice is, don’t overdo it.

Talk Through Your Thoughts.

This is a very good point. I have been doing that around here and the results have been very good. Ideas sound and seem different when you write them than when they stay in your head.

Take in Everything.

I totally agree. It can be hard at times if the person is off putting or the idea sounds unreasonable but I try to listen till the end.

When You Get Angry, You Lose.

I haven’t been very angry many times in my life and usually think someone else's intense anger is disturbing but I do suffer from constant feelings of irritation. I have learned to control it but it comes out most of the time as sarcasm or grumpy quips.

Keep Your Eye on the Big Picture

I think I already do that. It is how I think, I gather information and ideas to connect them to the big picture.

Be Accountable for Yourself.

I try to be as fair as possible but I don’t like the idea of laying blame rather I think “something bad happened so now how to fix it!”

Be Humble.

I don't think we have a tendency to be arrogant, no one ever accused me of that.

Assume the Best.

Yeah dark thoughts do take over sometimes but I do practice this attitude most of the time.

Relax!

Ah lol I’ll work on that.
 

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Ha, I actually printed this out and posted it on my wall in my room to remind myself what I should do to grow.

Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve INFJ Success

Feed Your Strengths! Do things that allow your brilliant intuition and service-oriented manner to flourish.
Not so much. Yet, I am still finishing up school. Once I get teaching I'll be able to apply that more in my creativity and drive to help.

Face Your Weaknesses! See your weaknesses for what they are, and seek to overcome them. Especially, strive to use your judgment against your internal ideas and intuitions, rather than as a means of disregarding other people's ideas.
This one is always a struggle to some extent. Guess I'm just always trying to watch how I word things anymore so I don't sound biased and stubborn on my own ideas...

Talk Through Your Thoughts. You need to step through your intuitions in order to put them into perspective. Give yourself time to do this, and take advantage of discussing ideas with others. You'll find externalizing your internal intuitions to be a valuable exercise.
I would like to do this more. I try to vent to people my different ideas to organize my thoughts and tell me if I'm just being totally unrealistic. A lot of people I just hesitate to do this though because I guess I fear they'll think I'm nuts or something with some of the ideas I have. :unsure:

Take in Everything. Don't dismiss ideas prematurely because you don't respect the person generating the ideas, or because you think you already know it all. After all, everybody has something to offer, and nobody knows everything. Steven Covey says it so well when he says: "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood."
This is big - for everyone. Anymore I just really try to understand and "figure out" others so I don't do this but even that can be a struggle at times because some people just don't want to disclose much information about themselves.

When You Get Angry, You Lose. Your passion and intensity are strong assets, but can be very harmful if you allow yourself to fall into the "Anger Trap". Remember that Anger is destructive to your personal relationships. Work through your anger before you impress it upon others, or you will likely find yourself alone. Disagreements and disappointments can only be handled effectively in a non-personal and dispassionate manner.
I had a problem with this a couple years ago after a bad breakup, I will admit. I can be okay with dealing with it if I'm allowed to have enough of my alone time.

Keep Your Eye on the Big Picture Watch out for your tendency to become obsessed with details. If you find yourself feeling very, very strongly about a small detail, take a big step back and make sure that you can still see the goal. You're not going to get there if you get mired in the details.
This is always bound to happen at some point. I'll step back eventually and see the big picture and when I do its a relief.

Be Accountable for Yourself. Don't blame the problems in your life on other people. Look inwardly for solutions. No one has more control over your life than you have.
I think everybody is guilty of this at some point. There are some things that you don't have control over -- like situations that involve other people, because that requires compromising. I try not to put the blame elsewhere.

Be Humble. Judge yourself at least as harshly as you judge others.
Again, everybody can benefit from this. I think I am naturally fairly hard on myself... more so than people realize.

Assume the Best. Don't distress yourself and others by dwelling on the dark side of everything. Just as there is a positive charge for every negative charge, there is a light side to every dark side. Remember that positive situations are created by positive attitudes. Expect the best, and the best will come forward.
This is similar to the other one stated about anger. I try to stay optimistic and open minded, but its bound to get frustrating at times.

Relax! Do yourself a favor and learn how to effectively unwind. Get exercise and restful sleep. Take vacations. Engage in relaxing activities. Take care of yourself and your loved ones by learning to let go of your passion and intensity for a respite.
I don't take enough vacations... maybe when I have money. :crazy:
 
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Feed Your Strengths! Do things that allow your brilliant intuition and service-oriented manner to flourish.
I'm trying to develop my intuition by trusting it more, I might get into mediation. At the moment I am working with a brilliant group of friendly people at work, I think this is helping me develop my intuition.

Face Your Weaknesses! See your weaknesses for what they are, and seek to overcome them. Especially, strive to use your judgment against your internal ideas and intuitions, rather than as a means of disregarding other people's ideas.
I don't believe that I disregard other people's ideas. I usually feel naive about a lot of things. I admire a lot of people and so I observe them so that I can improve on my weaknesses.

Talk Through Your Thoughts. You need to step through your intuitions in order to put them into perspective. Give yourself time to do this, and take advantage of discussing ideas with others. You'll find externalizing your internal intuitions to be a valuable exercise.
I do this all the time, I am constantly analysing things.

Take in Everything. Don't dismiss ideas prematurely because you don't respect the person generating the ideas, or because you think you already know it all. After all, everybody has something to offer, and nobody knows everything. Steven Covey says it so well when he says: "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood."
I used to be a know it all. I still trust in myself, however I believe I always take into account other people's ideas. As I would not like to be dismissed either.

When You Get Angry, You Lose. Your passion and intensity are strong assets, but can be very harmful if you allow yourself to fall into the "Anger Trap". Remember that Anger is destructive to your personal relationships. Work through your anger before you impress it upon others, or you will likely find yourself alone. Disagreements and disappointments can only be handled effectively in a non-personal and dispassionate manner.
I don't like to get angry as it takes so much energy.

Keep Your Eye on the Big Picture Watch out for your tendency to become obsessed with details. If you find yourself feeling very, very strongly about a small detail, take a big step back and make sure that you can still see the goal. You're not going to get there if you get mired in the details.
Sigh. Yeah I'm working on this. Trying to let things go and worry less.

Be Accountable for Yourself. Don't blame the problems in your life on other people. Look inwardly for solutions. No one has more control over your life than you have.
"Inner change, before outer change" You can't change others, but you can change yourself and your attitude. I hate it when people make lame excuses for their behaviour saying things like "That's just the way I am." Don't give me bs like that. Look at yourself, try to improve, or accept your flaws.

Be Humble. Judge yourself at least as harshly as you judge others.
I believe I am humble =/. I have empathy and use my own weaknesses to understand other people's weaknesses.

Assume the Best. Don't distress yourself and others by dwelling on the dark side of everything. Just as there is a positive charge for every negative charge, there is a light side to every dark side. Remember that positive situations are created by positive attitudes. Expect the best, and the best will come forward.
I feel I'm in a good stage in my life at the moment. I am assuming the best alot these days.

Relax! Do yourself a favor and learn how to effectively unwind. Get exercise and restful sleep. Take vacations. Engage in relaxing activities. Take care of yourself and your loved ones by learning to let go of your passion and intensity for a respite.
Yup, yup, I'm definitely in a good stage of my life at the moment.
 

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Just wanted to bring this up and get a little forum survey. Are you taking these steps to better yourselves? Have you? Do you believe these steps will truly help? please post a little response after each one. Maybe different areas of this article some of us have more practice and we can help each other out with areas we have put more effort into and make the INFJ community on here a strong one.



Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve INFJ Success...
Hi Green - you posted this good information a while back, and I feel it may assist INFJs in the self-improvement thread, may I post this list in there, as a reminder? and by me posting this, this thread will be brought back to the front too, i think a lot of INFJs could use this information...
 

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Feed Your Strengths!
For the longest time I denied strengthening my, well, strengths. I focused (and still do!) on my weaknesses and shortcomings. But I'm beginning to at least better understanding what my strengths are. Usually after I understand I can then act more efficiently. It's no different for strengths.

Face Your Weaknesses!
Oh, dear. I disliked hearing again and again that I struggled with anger, co-dependency and control.

Talk Through Your Thoughts.
I've found some close friends who will listen to what I intuit. It's hard, however, for me to discuss what goes on 'inside' because Ni is an 'irrational' function. So I'm worried that even though I feel convicted what I will say will be like gibberish or nonsensical to others.

Take in Everything.
A difficult task...because so much doesn't seem worthy of taking in.

When You Get Angry, You Lose.
I believe that anger isn't 'bad'. It simply needs a more healthier outlet, say, like boxing or pursuing a cause or whatever. But I've hurt many loved ones and friends when I either explode or implode over something.

Keep Your Eye on the Big Picture.
Ah, yes, sometimes I let those details blind me to the big picture.

Be Accountable for Yourself.
I'm practicing on saying "I" vs. "you" statements. I'm also practicing becoming more self-aware of certain tendencies and biases and all that...

Be Humble.
Perhaps I should work on this, but I also believe in having self-confidence regardless of whether 'knows' something or not.

Assume the Best.
'Assume' but don't 'expect'.

Relax!
Don't do it. When you want to go to it.
 

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Feed Your Strengths!
For the longest time I denied strengthening my, well, strengths. I focused (and still do!) on my weaknesses and shortcomings. But I'm beginning to at least better understanding what my strengths are. Usually after I understand I can then act more efficiently. It's no different for strengths.

Face Your Weaknesses!
Oh, dear. I disliked hearing again and again that I struggled with anger, co-dependency and control.

Talk Through Your Thoughts.
I've found some close friends who will listen to what I intuit. It's hard, however, for me to discuss what goes on 'inside' because Ni is an 'irrational' function. So I'm worried that even though I feel convicted what I will say will be like gibberish or nonsensical to others.

Take in Everything.
A difficult task...because so much doesn't seem worthy of taking in.

When You Get Angry, You Lose.
I believe that anger isn't 'bad'. It simply needs a more healthier outlet, say, like boxing or pursuing a cause or whatever. But I've hurt many loved ones and friends when I either explode or implode over something.

Keep Your Eye on the Big Picture.
Ah, yes, sometimes I let those details blind me to the big picture.

Be Accountable for Yourself.
I'm practicing on saying "I" vs. "you" statements. I'm also practicing becoming more self-aware of certain tendencies and biases and all that...

Be Humble.
Perhaps I should work on this, but I also believe in having self-confidence regardless of whether 'knows' something or not.

Assume the Best.
'Assume' but don't 'expect'.

Relax!
Don't do it. When you want to go to it.

I like how you included imploding as well.
I have done that a few times, I don't really think anyone knows what is going on with me though :(
I know when it happens to friends I know it simply kills me to watch them hold in all the pain.
too much is too much...
 

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Just wanted to bring this up and get a little forum survey. Are you taking these steps to better yourselves? Have you? Do you believe these steps will truly help? please post a little response after each one. Maybe different areas of this article some of us have more practice and we can help each other out with areas we have put more effort into and make the INFJ community on here a strong one.



Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve INFJ Success

Feed Your Strengths! Do things that allow your brilliant intuition and service-oriented manner to flourish.

I do but sometimes I think I don't pick the best environment for me to do this and end up more exhausted (physically and financially) than energized so the search is on......

Face Your Weaknesses! See your weaknesses for what they are, and seek to overcome them. Especially, strive to use your judgment against your internal ideas and intuitions, rather than as a means of disregarding other people's ideas.
This is so true...I wasn't always able to express myself as well as I do now through the written word but I kept taking writing emphasis courses beyond the requirements in college. My content was always praised but there was always something wrong with the technique and getting readers to the main point of my literary tirades :O) Now I get praises and people look towards my written work for clarity..:cool:
Talk Through Your Thoughts. You need to step through your intuitions in order to put them into perspective. Give yourself time to do this, and take advantage of discussing ideas with others. You'll find externalizing your internal intuitions to be a valuable exercise.
Hmmm....always did this with my family but outsiders it is a challenge until I came to the forums :happy:
Take in Everything. Don't dismiss ideas prematurely because you don't respect the person generating the ideas, or because you think you already know it all. After all, everybody has something to offer, and nobody knows everything. Steven Covey says it so well when he says: "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood."
Always did this...in fact I have a longstanding reputation of getting along with people other people consider "annoying" I think I just give them the time and space to express themselves and they never disappoint in showing me the beauty inside that they have to offer the world. :happy::happy:
When You Get Angry, You Lose. Your passion and intensity are strong assets, but can be very harmful if you allow yourself to fall into the "Anger Trap". Remember that Anger is destructive to your personal relationships. Work through your anger before you impress it upon others, or you will likely find yourself alone. Disagreements and disappointments can only be handled effectively in a non-personal and dispassionate manner.
That is so true...my friends always wondered how I could still smile in the face of adversity....I rather be happy than angry. Vanity plays a part in it I think...have you ever seen yourself in the mirror angry...so ugly LOL!

Keep Your Eye on the Big Picture Watch out for your tendency to become obsessed with details. If you find yourself feeling very, very strongly about a small detail, take a big step back and make sure that you can still see the goal. You're not going to get there if you get mired in the details.

Meh...sometimes. I'm detailed oriented Type 1. It's all a balance because certain details need to be tended to in order to reach that big picture. Otherwise I have started writing my wish lists in a journal in order to keep me moving forward instead of getting lost in the details of a temporary rut.

Be Accountable for Yourself. Don't blame the problems in your life on other people. Look inwardly for solutions. No one has more control over your life than you have.

I've always been accountable even at the age of 6 when I would wake myself up and ready myself for school before anyone else. We all had to go to work in my household and no one had time to drive anyone to school. I appreciated that upbringing. Now I am learning that there are a lot of things out of our control in life no matter how well we plan. If anything I have learned to roll with the punches and sometimes it's okay to punch back :wink:
(in a completely legal and positive way of course...LOL!)

Be Humble. Judge yourself at least as harshly as you judge others.

No one has ever accused me of this for sure...too giving maybe but never a lack of humbleness. If anything I have discovered my ego and my true self worth and I like it :wink::wink:Working for charity in some form or other always keeps it in check...you get back just as much as you give when you work with a great team. You always know you are doing a good job when people come in healthier, happier and knowing they can find some relief to their suffering when they put their trust in you.

Assume the Best. Don't distress yourself and others by dwelling on the dark side of everything. Just as there is a positive charge for every negative charge, there is a light side to every dark side. Remember that positive situations are created by positive attitudes. Expect the best, and the best will come forward.
And if you are not getting the best even though you are putting your best thoughts/foot forward don't forget to evaluate your actions and ask others for feedback. Even some of the worst atrocities were committed with good intentions...just like in medicine..one man's cure can be another man's poison. If you are still not seeing the results maybe you need to change your environment or refocus your energy.
Relax! Do yourself a favor and learn how to effectively unwind. Get exercise and restful sleep. Take vacations. Engage in relaxing activities. Take care of yourself and your loved ones by learning to let go of your passion and intensity for a respite.
Some days I am really good at this and some days I miss the mark all together....years of burning the candle at both ends is a hard habit to break,especially when you feel inspired, but your body and the people around you appreciate you more when you take the time to rest and be your most positive self. I learned that the hard way....:tongue:
 

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don't forget to evaluate your actions and ask others for feedback. Even some of the worst atrocities were committed with good intentions...just like in medicine..one man's cure can be another man's poison. If you are still not seeing the results maybe you need to change your environment or refocus your energy.
:)

this advice clicks in so well.
 

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I'm reviving this Thread anticipating the new year around the corner.
 
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