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Discussion Starter #1
Sister, cousin and cousin in law have a habit of blaming others. Thinking of saying “your responsible for what you do or say.”
 

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Fairly certain that this is not type related.

Everyone plays the blame game.

Unless this is not a post about ESFJ specifically and you just need to vent.
In which case..vent away. I have a bunch of blame game gurus in my life as well.
 

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My esfj does the same. I don’t know if it’s related to type, but from research I do know that blaming is a defense mechanism. Some people simply can’t accept personal responsibility for their actions. They deflect, blame, and get angry because that’s what their environment taught them.

For esfjs, who like to please others, it could possibly be that instead of confronting the negative feelings of accepting responsibility for letting others down, perhaps they learned to blame. Children usually learn to blame or lie as a defense mechanism. Maybe blame was taught to esfjs by parents who put unreasonable expectations onto them and expected them to always follow rules and traditions?

I don’t know the answer but esfjs do seem to often repress negativity rather than confronting it.
 

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“your responsible for what you do or say.”

From experience with the ones I know, the underlying intent with this statement is "your responsible for what you do or say - so at least try to be nice about it"

Though sadly I've caught them in white lies too, and I'm not even sure they're aware of it - they were trying to keep harmony in certain situations but the white lies were so obvious.

Usually if I'm blamed it is for overthinking something they didn't care to think about.

But otherwise I lovesies the ones I know ^_^
 

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Discussion Starter #5
“your responsible for what you do or say.”

From experience with the ones I know, the underlying intent with this statement is "your responsible for what you do or say - so at least try to be nice about it"

Though sadly I've caught them in white lies too, and I'm not even sure they're aware of it - they were trying to keep harmony in certain situations but the white lies were so obvious.

Usually if I'm blamed it is for overthinking something they didn't care to think about.

But otherwise I lovesies the ones I know ^_^
white lies generally don’t hurt people. Being Te-Ni I generally assume responsibility for what I do and or say. If I don’t I find that to inefficient and someone has to remain culpable. Mistake or not, things are very much as they seem.
 

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white lies generally don’t hurt people. Being Te-Ni I generally assume responsibility for what I do and or say. If I don’t I find that to inefficient and someone has to remain culpable. Mistake or not, things are very much as they seem.
The thing about white lying to me at least, is wondering if I can believe what is being said, and continue to believe in the future.

What do they blame others for in general?

Mine get on me for overthinking, although I do think there's some truth to it, and they aren't completely in the wrong.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Sister generally accuses me of fowl play. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t cut corners in life.
 
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