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This is open to any type, not just INTJs. Be blunt as possible and share whatever you deem helpful.


I have a sister but we do not share the same mother. My father rejects my sister and her mother just had my sister to ensnare my father to marry her mother but it did the opposite (he's INTJ by the way and she's a XSFP). I am actively choosing not to have a relationship with my little sister because I just truly do not desire it. My sister is only four years of age and I am nineteen which, I have felt, places me in a obligation to actually be there for her because my sister's parents are just unresponsive to her needs.

Any thoughts? (if you need anything explained just write!)
 

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It's ultimately up to you. But I think it would benefit your sister if you would be there for her, even if only out of obligation. She is only four years old after all. She needs someone in her life, and if her parents are not living up to their role as parents, I think it would be best if you would be there for her. You don't have to fulfill her parents' roles, or see her 24/7, but y'know. It'd be nice. I have cousins who have half-siblings. They get along well.

You can choose friends, but not family. If I were in your position, I'd play with her from time to time or just talk. But yeah, it's your choice in the end.
 

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I can understand not wanting the obligation placed on you. You didn't have much to do with her existing in the first place. However, I wouldn't cut off communication; it sounds like she is going to need some good role models in her life.
 

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This is open to any type, not just INTJs. Be blunt as possible and share whatever you deem helpful.


I have a sister but we do not share the same mother. My father rejects my sister and her mother just had my sister to ensnare my father to marry her mother but it did the opposite (he's INTJ by the way and she's a XSFP). I am actively choosing not to have a relationship with my little sister because I just truly do not desire it. My sister is only four years of age and I am nineteen which, I have felt, places me in a obligation to actually be there for her because my sister's parents are just unresponsive to her needs.

Any thoughts? (if you need anything explained just write!)
I'd confront the father because its bull shit. Your sister did not ask to be born and in that particular case is more a casualty of sexual warfare. Any offspring that originated from me would be in my realm of focus (even if I were male), always, even if the shit surrounding them is intolerable because its sort of understood that children are a known possibility from sex...You should rationalize and understand that and have figured out how you feel about theoretical children way beforehand. I would love and fight for my children and protect them from the things that I can and help them learn to protect themselves from the things I cannot. Overall, I just want them to be the best well adjusted individuals they can be and have them go through life knowing they were perfectly loved by at least one fucking person and whatever they do I want them to do well. I just ask they try to operate in a way not harmful to others. Your dad doesn't have to marry the woman to be a proper father for your sister.

Anyway, I had a similar boat where my real dad died so within 6 months my mother had moved and remarried my stepdad. He was a perfect example of "charming and funny" turned "unstable and toxic". Then they had my brother and I remember this sense where my mother just was NOT there in a proper emotional sense for her own reasons (she tried really hard for him) and his dad was a damn mental terrorist...(honestly, the most unhealthy person I have ever known). I wanted my brother to grow up knowing a strong example that not all people are out to hurt him and not all people are shitty. Of all the things I have done in life, I know I did that one thing right and I don't regret any of it. In your situation, I'd have been there first while she was born even if it was against my father's wishes because, "fuck him, I'm going to see my sister". Doesn't matter how she came about as she is here.

Now as you sister...if you were to come to me feeling "obligated" to be there for me and resented the task (without proper affection) I'd just tell you to go the hell away as burdens laced with resentment would probably just be more toxic to my development. I don't need your pity or pity support and I don't need yet more misdirected frustration and anger...lol. The girl might have a different take. She is still young and at that age you can put in a lot more and have a bigger impact. Young kids like that are highly bonded to whoever is the least painful and most nourishing attachment and they really love you. Their mind is also very open to your input so there is that responsibility but it should be one of love. Life is shitty enough without a good loving setup to work from.
 
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