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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am constantly struggling to balance my rational thoughts and my irrational temperament.

A past situation: I went on a long hike with my father and the day before we went, it had rained quite a bit. Hiking up was not such a big deal, but coming down with the slippery rocks (this mountain had a terrible lack of footholds) was a little difficult. I found myself getting increasingly frustrated with how long the hike was and how tired I was then I started to stomp like a petulant toddler and stonewall my father as a consequence. My mind started started battling against itself saying "Why are you acting like a sulky child. You chose to come on this hike fully aware that it would be slippery today. Why are you allowing your feelings get in the way?
As a result of your feelings, you're making your father uncomfortable." My mind started going on this kind of thought loop for a while. Close to the end, there was a river cutting through the path. Seeing this as an opportunity to cleanse my face as well as my mind, I closed my eyes and focused only on the cold water that I splashed on my face. I found myself calming down and my thoughts started to slow. I continued on the path.
Shortly thereafter I became angry and irritable again with my mind battling against itself.

I read on a personality page that INTPs can tend to be restless and temperamental. Why is this? To my understanding of the personality as well as myself, INTPs disregard feelings as having little or no value. Why is it that the personality that is almost anti-feeling is plagued with moodiness? Or...is it just me? :p

I've been thinking it might be because I'm only 19 years old. It might be be some kind of adolescent impatience that I'll outgrow?

How do the rest of you deal with a situation when your thoughts tell you one thing and your feelings tell you another? Help out a fellow INTP here.
 

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黐線 ~Chiseen~
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If things don't go the way an INTP has planned or if the system(s) starts breaking down that an INTP has managed for quite a bit, you can bet damn well that an INTP can become moody like going from 0-60 in parsecs flat.

This, Miss, is when an INTP snaps.

To reach that point, there has GOT to be an accumulation of things no matter how minuscule, that the INTP has bottled and bottled and bottled such that the tolerance bucket is overflowing.

What's your cushion of damage output? Or different wording, what's your release valve?

If you don't have something to calm yourself by, or redirect frustrations of any little intricacies; ; i.e. someone to talk to, a simple pleasure, an escapism, or whatever have you, you'd be a walking temperamental bomb.
 

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It is true that NTs are upset when their plans don't work out. However, different people have different responses.

Most people have stress reducing habits that are built subconsciously over years. For example, coming home and drinking juice, watching TV, listening to music for a while. Getting up and looking outside of the window for a while. Drinking water or tea (relaxant - NOT coffee) throughout the day.

Practice learning how to relax. You'll find yourself a lot less stressed and therefore far less upset about set backs.
 

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I have a question pertaining to this. Does anybody have any tips or some mental exercises/tricks to help with reducing anger and irritability? Sometime(rarely, but it does happen) I find myself in situations that really piss me off, but without an immediate exit.

This happens most often at work, where something or someone is pressing all my buttons and I get more and more pissed. There have been a few times when I just quit and walked right out, just so I didn't blow up and hurt myself or somebody else.
 
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黐線 ~Chiseen~
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I have a question pertaining to this. Does anybody have any tips or some mental exercises/tricks to help with reducing anger and irritability? Sometime(rarely, but it does happen) I find myself in situations that really piss me off, but without an immediate exit.

This happens most often at work, where something or someone is pressing all my buttons and I get more and more pissed. There have been a few times when I just quit and walked right out, just so I didn't blow up and hurt myself or somebody else.


Remove yourself from the situation.

If in a confrontation where things gets heated up, remove yourself from the confrontation.

When in the presence of stupidity, remove yourself from the stupidity.

Where in the company of people who just don't add up, remove yourself from the company.



You can't change people. Although you may influence their views, doesn't mean they have to accept it or adapt for your convenience.

You can only change yourself and have their influence towards your own personal views. Only you get to choose to accept it or adapt to it should you desire to do it for his/her convenience.

Not that many people know how or when to walk away. By you doing so, you 1-up'd them already.

If they attempt pull you back / drag you back in, just turn 90 degrees and keep walking away. What are they going to do? Follow you? Because that's a mistake they cannot afford to do.
 

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I can relate to being frustrated easily when systems fail. That was well put by @qingdom. However I do not react this way personally. It may help to allow yourself to vent and express yourself more. In the above example, you could have said "dad, I'm gonna yell really loud for a minute so I can vent some of my frustration." (Then, just give the sky your loudest shout!)

Repressing your frustrations will only bottle them up more.
 

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Maid of Time
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I have a question pertaining to this. Does anybody have any tips or some mental exercises/tricks to help with reducing anger and irritability? Sometime(rarely, but it does happen) I find myself in situations that really piss me off, but without an immediate exit.

This happens most often at work, where something or someone is pressing all my buttons and I get more and more pissed. There have been a few times when I just quit and walked right out, just so I didn't blow up and hurt myself or somebody else.
I agree with qingdom that, if you can't deal, give yourself a breather and walk out. If it's a situation you can't abandon completely, then excuse yourself and say you'll return shortly, THEN walk out. The key in those kinds of situations is to retain your control long enough to get out and (so they don't take it wrong) just state when you'll be back and go.

I was a wonderful stuffer through childhood and into my early adult years. It turns out my ex was capable of pissing the crap out of me and never ever letting up. I couldn't stuff enough to avoid an occasional MAJOR blowout where I'd ending up screaming loudly enough to permanently damage my voice, kick/hit something, etc. That didn't happen a TON, but it was the first time I realize that stuffing something no longer worked and I had to find another way because I hated the shame and embarrassment of losing control and acting so stupidly even if I felt like it was justified in some ways. (it's 20 years later, and I just don't ever really blow up that way anymore, nothing is THAT big a deal that I need to get that mad and I know how to communicate my frustration in more productive ways earlier.)

In the short term, excusing yourself briefly (then going elsewhere and hitting/yelling/running/working out/playing a violent vid game, etc.) is probably the best you can manage. But then you have to meanwhile start working on ways to avoid stuffing so much. With my ex, I had to learn to communicate earlier on things and working out compromises, rather than just blowing off disagreements without trying to reach closure on a discussion. For other things, you have to somehow work out a new perspective where you just don't take the situation as personally or view it as seriously. (For example, if it is a bullshit job and you hate your boss, accept that your boss is in charge and responsible for mistakes in direction or implementation, and you're just there to do work and get paid for it -- I'm not saying don't care, I'm just saying that you need to understand the limits of your control over something and let the rest go.)

As far as tips? Sometimes I zone and just imagine myself somewhere else, or put a funny spin on the situation in my head. Kind of like internal fantasy or self-meditation on the spot. Just let the rage dissipate; let it go, watch it flow down to the ground like tears in the rain and be forgotten. Also, ask for the breather that I noted above, or spin the situation around so that you can take it in stride in terms of what is realistic.

Things like that, I suppose.... But a big thing I think for conflict-avoidance reactive INTPs to learn is to be more proactive and head off those situations BEFORE they rise to such a fevered uncontrollable pitch.
 

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moods are just function of electro chemical reactions in your brain. the most objective solution, one which you can qualitatively/quantitatively monitor response is to take brain affecting medications, stimuli, or therapy. so in short seek a professional shrink.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks for all the feedback!

Since this kind of cycle happens often, I can't help but think that all the stuffing I did starting from a very young age threatens to explode at random moments under small stress- just like what happened with my hiking example.
I've found that meditation and tuning in to music helps. But it's not like that in normal everyday life I can just pop a squat anywhere and tune out the external environment. I'm going to try what @Jennywocky does- put a funny situation in my head and laugh internally at the absurd. If anybody has some more mental tricks, please share!

I am still curious as to why INTPs tend to be temperamental. Maybe because INTPs can't really stand stupidity or incompetence as much as others?
 

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preemptive and avoidance will actually get you no where. people will just think they are doing just fine relative to your preference. so the only one who do the compromised is just you. excusing yourself and venting out will only flashed out potential bullies and aggravators. people see you as prime target ripe for their practical jokes and schemes. the best thing to do is to stand your ground, use your enemies weaknesses (and even strength) agaisnt them. exploit their systems and use it to coerce them.... really humans are hypocritic scums so never trust them. learn to look out for yourself and be self sufficent.
 
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