[Swordsman of Mana]

I've been thinking about it, and I think I'm REALLY disintegrated.
- I avoid facing reality like the plague (that's why my post count here is so high. LOL)
- I am becoming increasingly condemning, harsh, critical and angry (stress 1, possibly unhealthy wing 8 tendencies)
- I feel like there is this fog clouding my vision, keeping me from concentrating
- my mind is never in the moment. I've almost lost the ability to focus on anything in the moment completely
- histrionic and provocative
does anyone have any advice?
@Boss
@n2freedom
@Paradigm
@Wake

 

[n2freedom]

I've been thinking about it, and I think I'm REALLY disintegrated.
- I avoid facing reality like the plague (that's why my post count here is so high. LOL)
- I am becoming increasingly condemning, harsh, critical and angry (stress 1, possibly unhealthy wing 8 tendencies)
- I feel like there is this fog clouding my vision, keeping me from concentrating
- my mind is never in the moment. I've almost lost the ability to focus on anything in the moment completely
- histrionic and provocative
does anyone have any advice?

I don't really have any enneagram specific advice for you. But, a life filled with distractions are never fulfilling. I think you need to take a break from PerC or reduce your time on PerC. Get out and add some new adventures to your routine IRL. I believe you would greatly benefit by getting out and being more social. What are some things you enjoy doing? Also, maybe it's time to set some new goals that you can get excited about.

Movement cures many ills. Get moving doing something productive that makes SOM feel grateful, alive, and fulfilled!

 

[Swordsman of Mana]

I don't really have any enneagram specific advice for you. But, a life filled with distractions are never fulfilling. I think you need to take a break from PerC or reduce your time on PerC. Get out and add some new adventures to your routine IRL. I believe you would greatly benefit by getting out and being more social. What are some things you enjoy doing? Also, maybe it's time to set some new goals that you can get excited about.

Movement cures many ills. Get moving doing something productive that makes SOM feel grateful, alive, and fulfilled!

you see, that's the hard part
- my only friends are a 24 year old (who is a workaholic and doesn't have a life either) and little kids across the street who periodically ask me to play with them
- I have a part time job
- I have no money
- I live with my parents, whom I do my best to get along with, but frustrate the hell out of me
...I'm not saying all of this to complain as objectively I have it a lot better than 95% of the world, but my current situation is me being stuck in a giant hole.
to paint a vivid picture for you, I feel like I am trapped in a cave, shivering my ass off and outside there is nothing but a blizzard. trouble is, there is no food in the cave, so eventually I will have to wonder out into the blizzard. thus, I've kind of numbed my mind and am using any attempt I can subconsciously to escape.
I'm already looking into going back to school and looking for a better job, but other than that I'm at a loss as to how to improve my lifestyle. I am interested in starting a business, but at present I lack the competence, the social connections or the start up capital to do so.
what else could you suggest?

 

[Flatlander]

@Swordsman of Mana : You mention being interested in starting a business, but not having competence. Is there specific schooling or such you could use to learn/gain the requisite knowhow?

 

[Swordsman of Mana]

@Swordsman of Mana : You mention being interested in starting a business, but not having competence. Is there specific schooling or such you could use to learn/gain the requisite knowhow?

not really. you don't go to school to learn how to make $40,000 a month on google pay per click other web advertising platforms. as it is now, I'm probably going to go to school for something more "safe" like that would land me a $50,000 a year office job or something (assuming I could even get that, I'd probably have to get a very good degree and get job experience in college)

 

[n2freedom]

you see, that's the hard part
- my only friends are a 24 year old (who is a workaholic and doesn't have a life either) and little kids across the street who periodically ask me to play with them

I think my recommendations below will get you out more to meet new people and make new friends. But, first thing here is find a professional organization and/or a social club and join it.

- I have a part time job
- I have no money

Upgrade to a full time job so that you can have more money. If it is a "must" for you then you will do it. If it is a should then you will continue to procrastinate, half-heartedly attempt it and/or make excuses.

- I live with my parents, whom I do my best to get along with, but frustrate the hell out of me

Develop a plan with a time line to get the fuck out and follow through. See above about "must" versus "should".

...I'm not saying all of this to complain as objectively I have it a lot better than 95% of the world, but my current situation is me being stuck in a giant hole.
to paint a vivid picture for you, I feel like I am trapped in a cave, shivering my ass off and outside there is nothing but a blizzard. trouble is, there is no food in the cave, so eventually I will have to wonder out into the blizzard. thus, I've kind of numbed my mind and am using any attempt I can subconsciously to escape.

Not trying to sound mean here but instead of escaping use that same energy to take ACTION. Action is the only antidote to fear. Sounds like you want change but at the same time are succumbing to either fear of failure and/or change. If you take action, fear will fall to the wayside on it's own.

I'm already looking into going back to school and looking for a better job, but other than that I'm at a loss as to how to improve my lifestyle. I am interested in starting a business, but at present I lack the competence, the social connections or the start up capital to do so.
what else could you suggest?

Great again instead of just "looking" give yourself a deadline and a plan of action to do both. What type of business are you interested in starting? While you are working part-time schedule some informational interviews with small business owners and glean information from them. Look for free seminars to learn more about starting new business. Look for webinars disseminating free information on starting new businesses. Join a small business professional organization to gain more information about starting new businesses. Go to the library and do research about starting new businesses and how to raise start up capital.

Google the area of interest for your new business and see if any philanthropists have cash reserves to invest in new startups. Where there is a will there is a way. Turn fear into faith and fuel your dreams with them. Is it a must for you? If so then you will do it because we always do what we must do. If there are any free videos and/or books at the library available for Tony Robbins, Og Mandino, Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, John Maxwell, Brian Tracy, Napoleon Hill, Stephen Covey, or Dale Carnegie....drown yourself in their videos and/or books to feed your mind with can do and eliminate the fear.

What you are seeking is seeking you....life is filled with vast opportunities, wonders, adventures...get up, get out and do something different. Just get moving because with moving comes momentum and with momentum comes achievement. Get out of your head and into your life.

 

[Wake]

I've been thinking about it, and I think I'm REALLY disintegrated.
- I avoid facing reality like the plague (that's why my post count here is so high. LOL)
- I am becoming increasingly condemning, harsh, critical and angry (stress 1, possibly unhealthy wing 8 tendencies)
- I feel like there is this fog clouding my vision, keeping me from concentrating
- my mind is never in the moment. I've almost lost the ability to focus on anything in the moment completely
- histrionic and provocative
does anyone have any advice?

As N2freedom suggested, find a full-time job to keep you busy. Something with exposure to people would probably really work for you. You can do it while you plan out a career. Low hanging fruit for 7s in which they really thrive in is a job like bar tending, salesmen or serving (more upscale means more money). You can do that during the weekend while going to school for a long term solution during the week. You'll get plenty of exposure and stay committed to a future. Like all things in life, the best things you must fight for.

 

[Sina]

I'd just say take what N2 said to heart. I don't have anything enneagram related to add, but you can certainly browse EI's website for some e-specific tips. Really try to narrow down on your priorities, get proactive, come up with a plan. Look into meditative practices to improve focus. As n2 said, the only antidote to fear/avoidance is action. The earlier you handle the realities of life head on, the easier it gets, the more time you have to pursue pleasures. The more you avoid it, the more restless and scattered you will get. I really believe that true, meaningful peace and the most sumptuous of pleasures stem from timely action. Learning to still the mind, while remaining involved in worldly matters of progress and triumph takes a lot of skill. You're still young, and you have a very long way to go.

Learn as much as you can about entrepreneurship, do job shadow interviews, make contacts, brainstorm ideas (PM me if you want), talk to other young entrepreneurs (there are forums geared towards such networking and exchange, look them up). Make sure to have a timeline for your goals, and be sure to set specific, challenging but pragmatically attainable goals, so you don't end up reinforcing any fear of failure/stagnation. Time management is crucial. When you look into entrepreneurship, keep your interests in mind. If you don't enjoy what you do, you won't stick with it.

Get your ass out of the cave and into that damn blizzard It'll pass, and you'll have ended up with the knowledge that you can face the harshest of storms and come out more experienced and confident.

 

[Sina]

SOM, here's a good place to start: Starting a Business | Starting a Small Business | Startup | Entrepreneur.com

Also, get physically active. It helps head types become more grounded in their bodies. Sit down and make a list of everything you're good at, the smallest of qualities. Correlate qualities and current qualifications with opportunities for growth. Write it all out. It'll help you realize that your capacity for progress (and overall possibilities) are not as limited as you may think only because you're 20, staying with your parents and have little in the name of social interactions (change this part asap).


Enneagram Specific points:

Personal Growth Recommendations
for Enneagram Type Sevens

(1) Recognize your impulsiveness, and get in the habit of observing your impulses rather than giving in to them. This means letting most of your impulses pass and becoming a better judge of which ones are worth acting on. The more you can resist acting out your impulses, the more you will be able to focus on what is really good for you.

(2) Learn to listen to other people. They are often interesting, and you may learn things that will open new doors for you. Also learn to appreciate silence and solitude: you do not have to distract yourself (and protect yourself from anxiety) with constant noise from the television or the stereo. By learning to live with less external stimulation, you will learn to trust yourself. You will be happier than you expect because you will be satisfied with whatever you do, even if it is less than you have been doing.

(3) You do not have to have everything this very moment. That tempting new acquisition will most likely still be available tomorrow (this is certainly true of food, alcohol, and other common gratifications—that ice cream cone, for instance). Most good opportunities will come back again—and you will be in a better position to discern which opportunities really are best for you.

(4) Always choose quality over quantity, especially in your experiences. The ability to have experiences of quality can be learned only by giving your full attention to the experience you are having now. If you keep anticipating future experiences, you will keep missing the present one and undermine the possibility of ever being satisfied.

(5) Make sure that what you want will really be good for you in the long run. As the saying goes, watch what you pray for since your prayers may be answered. In the same vein, think about the long-term consequences of what you want since you may get it only to find that it becomes another disappointment—or even a source of unhappiness.



Source: http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/7growth.asp

 

[Swordsman of Mana]

@Boss
@n2freedom
@Wake
I was embarrassed giggling your advice, that probably means you're right.

 

[n2freedom]

Boss
n2freedom
Wake
I was embarrassed giggling your advice, that probably means you're right.

As Boss indicated, you can PM me if you need someone to bounce ideas off of. In the meantime, what's your first action item and by when?

 

[Swordsman of Mana]

As Boss indicated, you can PM me if you need someone to bounce ideas off of. In the meantime, what's your first action item and by when?

get another job within 2 weeks

 

[n2freedom]

get another job within 2 weeks

Sounds good. Checklist:
- Is resume' updated?
- How many jobs will you apply for daily?
- What kind of job?
- Revise within 2 weeks to by Friday, March 30
- Post this affirmation everywhere where you can see "I am joyfully receiving a fulfilling, engaging, and stimulating new full time job earning ________ by Friday, March 30, 2012."
- Get your hands a book entitled "The Aladdin Factor" ASAP.

Smooches. Now, you know are going to be held accountable by me right?

 

[Swordsman of Mana]

Sounds good. Checklist:
- Is resume' updated?

yup

- How many jobs will you apply for daily?

at least 3-4, preferably more

- What kind of job?

preferably a bank teller or entry level sales position, but I'll be applying to any position I am eligible for

- Revise within 2 weeks to by Friday, March 30

okay

- Post this affirmation everywhere where you can see "I am joyfully receiving a fulfilling, engaging, and stimulating new full time job earning ________ by Friday, March 30, 2012."

okay, now I just need to find a way to make it fun

- Get your hands a book entitled "The Aladdin Factor" ASAP.

I'll look into it

Smooches. Now, you know are going to be held accountable by me right?

thank you
-feels a simultaneous feeling of tough love and uncomfortable vulnerability-

 

[Sina]

Sounds good. Checklist:
- Is resume' updated?
- How many jobs will you apply for daily?
- What kind of job?
- Revise within 2 weeks to by Friday, March 30
- Post this affirmation everywhere where you can see "I am joyfully receiving a fulfilling, engaging, and stimulating new full time job earning ________ by Friday, March 30, 2012."
- Get your hands a book entitled "The Aladdin Factor" ASAP.

Smooches. Now, you know are going to be held accountable by me right?

SMOOCHESsssSS!:kitteh::kitteh::kitteh:

ok, that was my rare, nice and fuzzy, female bonding moment.

But seriously, N2, even though I am no newcomer to goal-setting and entrepreneurship, I found your techniques helpful I should get that book too.

 

[n2freedom]

@Swordsman of Mana .... YAY! So, how many jobs did you apply for today????

SMOOCHESsssSS!:kitteh::kitteh::kitteh:

ok, that was my rare, nice and fuzzy, female bonding moment.

But seriously, N2, even though I am no newcomer to goal-setting and entrepreneurship, I found your techniques helpful I should get that book too.

Boss it is one of my all time favorites for creating a favorable attitude of expectancy. When I was in direct sales, I earned three all expense paid vacations using the techniques in that book. And, still employ many of them whenever I want something that on the physical plane it seems unobtainable.

Another good book is Unstoppable by Cynthia Kersey...is filled with mini testimonials about people who in spite of insurmountable odds achieved their goals. She also has an excellent planning worksheet to help you identify your mission as well. Highly, highly recommend that one too.

 

[Swordsman of Mana]

@Swordsman of Mana .... YAY! So, how many jobs did you apply for today????

3 (applying to jobs is painful lol)

 

[n2freedom]

3 (applying to jobs is painful lol)

I'm impressed. I'm sure that gave you a good sense of accomplishment. Congrats!!!

 

[Swordsman of Mana]

I'm impressed. I'm sure that gave you a good sense of accomplishment. Congrats!!!

actually it was terrible. I had to sort through like 100+ jobs to find ones that fit my credentials (ie, minimal entry level experience). you know what sucks the most though? I thought I has all this control over my life. I've been like a monk preaching peace of mind while he's been living at a friggin monastery lol (that monk can talk after raising 2 kids and working 50 hours a week LOL). really though, the actual work hasn't been that bad, but I thought I was this mature, in control guy when really I'm a well dressed, ambitious child who happens to have very good communication skills lol. I mean, I have good qualities. I am very in control emotionally, I don't need emotional support from anyone (guidance, yes; emotional support, never), I'm assertive/good communication skills and I know myself (how I operate and what I really desire) and I'm really just teasing myself more than anything (even at my worst, self esteem is not really an issue lol) but really, it's true. I need to grow up and face the music. I just have to remember that it will get better the more shit I sort out and the closer I get to my ideal lifestyle. eventually, work can become something fun, exciting and fulfilling (once I can make it what I want it to be), but for now it's drudgery, due diligence and survival.
I can't believe how delusional I've been. I mean, I've never really considered myself "above" people, but unconsciously I've been under the belief that I was this extremely powerful guy who had all these options and didn't have to settle for the low hanging fruit. turns out what I considered "low hanging fruit" is probably something that would take me years to work up to, never mind the actual high hanging fruit lol. perhaps I was putting too much weight in the law of attraction. not all of it was bad though. I do have a solid belief system and genuinely love myself and these are not things I need to change, I just need to remember that just because I have a high opinion of/love myself does not mean the world does, and it definitely doesn't mean that self acceptance/love will instantly give you competence and experience, because it won't. general confidence is always good (belief that you are a capable individual and someone who learn to do whatever they want), but I need to remember that that doesn't carry into specific confidence (knowing that you are an expert in a certain skill set, thus requiring you to actually be one)

 

[n2freedom]

actually it was terrible. I had to sort through like 100+ jobs to find ones that fit my credentials (ie, minimal entry level experience). you know what sucks the most though? I thought I has all this control over my life. I've been like a monk preaching peace of mind while he's been living at a friggin monastery lol (that monk can talk after raising 2 kids and working 50 hours a week LOL). really though, the actual work hasn't been that bad, but I thought I was this mature, in control guy when really I'm a well dressed, ambitious child who happens to have very good communication skills lol. I mean, I have good qualities. I am very in control emotionally, I don't need emotional support from anyone (guidance, yes; emotional support, never), I'm assertive/good communication skills and I know myself (how I operate and what I really desire) and I'm really just teasing myself more than anything (even at my worst, self esteem is not really an issue lol) but really, it's true. I need to grow up and face the music. I just have to remember that it will get better the more shit I sort out and the closer I get to my ideal lifestyle. eventually, work can become something fun, exciting and fulfilling (once I can make it what I want it to be), but for now it's drudgery, due diligence and survival.
I can't believe how delusional I've been. I mean, I've never really considered myself "above" people, but unconsciously I've been under the belief that I was this extremely powerful guy who had all these options and didn't have to settle for the low hanging fruit. turns out what I considered "low hanging fruit" is probably something that would take me years to work up to, never mind the actual high hanging fruit lol. perhaps I was putting too much weight in the law of attraction. not all of it was bad though. I do have a solid belief system and genuinely love myself and these are not things I need to change, I just need to remember that just because I have a high opinion of/love myself does not mean the world does, and it definitely doesn't mean that self acceptance/love will instantly give you competence and experience, because it won't. general confidence is always good (belief that you are a capable individual and someone who learn to do whatever they want), but I need to remember that that doesn't carry into specific confidence (knowing that you are an expert in a certain skill set, thus requiring you to actually be one)

I agree somewhat. But, you have to sell your skills and abilities. True you can't come off the street and be a surgeon and/or architect. But, many fields have transferable skill sets. You need to identify your skills and abilities. How do they combine with your experiences to create a unique blend? I believe in the law of attraction. However, faith without works is dead. Too many time people think that the law of attraction means believing yourself into opportunities. That's just part of it you have to belief it, you have to feel it, and you have to act as if. You have to dig your ditches...in other words you have to take action.

If you see a job and recognize that you have the skills and abilities, sell yourself to that potential employer. I'm sure you are a QUICK learner. Tools can be taught....certain skills and abilities .... you either have them or you don't. Review your resume' and make sure you are accentuating your positives. Make sure you are selling and not telling your strengths, skills, and abilities. If you know what you want or even if you don't, get out and volunteer .... experience is experience whether it is paid or not. It is experience because you utilized an opportunity to showcase "you can do it".

Also, volunteering gives you a chance to network and make contacts that may gain you entrance through the back door. Quality questions lead to quality answers. Ask yourself quality questions and silence the naysayer within...for instance, how can I use what I have to get what I want. Your mind, particularly your subconscious mind will do the math for you. Train your conscious mind to ask quality questions for your subconscious mind to solve.

Remember when job searching or really with anything in life, each no leads to a yes. Also, remember no during job searching means no to a job match and is not to be taken as personal rejections. It's a numbers game and you have to play the numbers to win it. The more you plant your seeds (job applications) the higher your chances of scoring big.

Moral of the story it maybe entry level experience....but you have anywhere of 5-10 years of utilizing certain skills and abilities.....now go and sell them in the marketplace!!!