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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This came up in another recent thread, but as an ISFJ (and also partly just because of who I am), I always tend to get down on myself a lot more than I should, and that may be my biggest problem in life. I've gathered from some other topics about ISFJ's that this is what people dislike the most about us.

But, a while back I ran across a book about MBTI that talked about all of the types and also gave advice for each one. I've found the advice for ISFJ's to be extremely helpful in cheering me up and boosting my confidence. It's especially nice because it actually helps, unlike advice that is too harsh for most ISFJ's to really take in and apply (especially because a lot of other types don't find it to be as harsh as we do!).

So I post this in hopes that other ISFJ's will get as much out of it as I have.







-Beware of rescuing irresponsible, needy people. Get help in ending inappropriate relationships and situations.

-Talk to yourself in nurturing and caring ways. Pat yourself on the back. Don't wait for someone else to tell you that you did well.

-Honor your need for time alone. Schedule time for fun and personally satisfying activities.

-Allow room for mistakes.

-Talk about your needs, desires and problems with a trusted friend or counselor. Let others help you for a change.

-Take time to discover your direction, purpose, and goals. Make choices based on your inner values rather than on external authorities.

-Remember that there is no one right way to live. What counts is that you are satisfied.

-Beware of excessive worrying. Don't spend too much time focusing on worst-case scenarios.

-Avoid taking on extra work. Learn to say NO!

-Get mad once in a while. Unleash pent-up resentment through writing, talking or hitting pillows. You may feel guilty but you may also find it refreshing.

-Do not underestimate yourself and your accomplishments. Talk about them.

-Appreciate your strengths--being realistic, practical, conscientious, sensitive, sympathetic, loyal, friendly, super-dependable, and persevering.
 

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I find art a useful tool I don't use nearly enough to help deal with emotions, whether conscious or subonscious - I like, and often need to mix in...picture, colour and words, to best express myself.

I think writing can become censored or self-conscious, art is harder to...be stiff about.
 

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I find art a useful tool I don't use nearly enough to help deal with emotions, whether conscious or subonscious - I like, and often need to mix in...picture, colour and words, to best express myself.

I think writing can become censored or self-conscious, art is harder to...be stiff about.
Interesting that you say so! I've always loved writing - art is wonderful, but I usually get too perfectionistic, so it sort of defeats the purpose as an emotional outlet. Writing works really well for me, though, as long as I know no one will ever read it. It's fun to see the differences in individuals even in the same type.
 

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Interesting that you say so! I've always loved writing - art is wonderful, but I usually get too perfectionistic, so it sort of defeats the purpose as an emotional outlet. Writing works really well for me, though, as long as I know no one will ever read it. It's fun to see the differences in individuals even in the same type.
LOL. One other reader of my writing = Critic critic critic. Incoherent this, incoherent that. Grrr.

Also, another thing I think ISFJs might struggle with is trying out things you don't normally do, often stuff not in your comfort zone. Many ISFJs I feel need to realize that some risks are needed in order to have a life fulfilled. Don't be a reclusive, it causes depression. There is an optimistic side to ISFJs I think because that is what I am when I am healthy, an optimist. Shake hands with the unexpected sometimes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Also, another thing I think ISFJs might struggle with is trying out things you don't normally do, often stuff not in your comfort zone. Many ISFJs I feel need to realize that some risks are needed in order to have a life fulfilled. Don't be a reclusive, it causes depression. There is an optimistic side to ISFJs I think because that is what I am when I am healthy, an optimist. Shake hands with the unexpected sometimes.

I agree with this one, but at least for me, it's been very key that it's done right. This has popped up in a few other threads and I've thought about it a fair bit. Part of this may be related to me being a type 6 as well, but I think it probably relates to all ISFJ's to some degree.


I think the thing for me is that even though I do get very set in my ways, I don't have a problem living like that for the most part. Like you said, that doesn't mean that I don't have desires to try new things or take any risks.

But, sometimes I've had other people try to tell me that I'm boring and don't try enough new things. That starts making me feel bad, so then I might try something new just to make them happy in hopes of feeling better about myself. Problem is, when I try that new thing, a lot of times I don't enjoy it, so then I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place...if I do the new things, I hate it, and if I don't, I feel bad about myself.


So, I think this is something that I've learned about myself over the last year: It's important to do new things because you want to, not because someone else thinks you should. There's absolutely nothing wrong with trying new things and taking risks, but there's nothing wrong with avoiding them, either. I don't think it does any good to do something just to try to make someone else happy...it has to be something that you want to do. So I think it's important to be open-minded towards thinking about it so you don't get in a rut you don't like, but also to go for it when the time is right.


I've also found it helps a lot to take it one step at a time. Try something new, but something that isn't way way out of your comfort zone...something that you're more likely to enjoy. If you choose the wrong thing, you may not enjoy it, and then you'll be less likely to want to try new things in the future, leading to that situation I mentioned earlier. But if you take it one step at time, you can try things that are progressively further and further out of your comfort zone.

It also helps me a whole lot who I do new things with, not just what it is. A lot of times I enjoy doing new things mostly when I'm with a good friend, someone who I trust. That way I can build my comfort with it because it's easier to enjoy myself.

For example, I went to Los Angeles for the first time this summer. I was seeing a friend from college who I hadn't seen in 3 years, but we were very close in college. I really enjoyed myself, I loved the city, and I had an awesome trip. But that was largely because I had her to show me around and she constantly made me feel comfortable. Had I gone there by myself or with someone who I wasn't very close with, I may have hated it and not wanted to do it again.


So anyway...that was long, but basically I feel like Handi touched on something really important...it's just sometimes it's hard advice to follow. I've found taking these other things into account helps make it easier to do.
 

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-Beware of rescuing irresponsible, needy people. Get help in ending inappropriate relationships and situations.
I REALLY need to bring this one to heart. All to often I find myself gravitating toward damsels in distress. I want to be that night in shining armor. I want to be the one that beats back all the woes this world may throw at her, but more often than not this leaves me with very unnecessary pain.
 

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-Beware of rescuing irresponsible, needy people. Get help in ending inappropriate relationships and situations.

-Talk to yourself in nurturing and caring ways. Pat yourself on the back. Don't wait for someone else to tell you that you did well.

-Honor your need for time alone. Schedule time for fun and personally satisfying activities.

-Allow room for mistakes.

-Talk about your needs, desires and problems with a trusted friend or counselor. Let others help you for a change.

-Take time to discover your direction, purpose, and goals. Make choices based on your inner values rather than on external authorities.

-Remember that there is no one right way to live. What counts is that you are satisfied.

-Beware of excessive worrying. Don't spend too much time focusing on worst-case scenarios.

-Avoid taking on extra work. Learn to say NO!

-Get mad once in a while. Unleash pent-up resentment through writing, talking or hitting pillows. You may feel guilty but you may also find it refreshing.

-Do not underestimate yourself and your accomplishments. Talk about them.

-Appreciate your strengths--being realistic, practical, conscientious, sensitive, sympathetic, loyal, friendly, super-dependable, and persevering.
Thank you for this advice! I tend to be very down on myself at times, so I should keep this in mind when I start being all negative.
 
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