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Learn from my mistake - when you get into college/uni, DON'T overdo the socialisation aspect like I did, I very nearly got kicked out and now I'm looking at resits in a couple weeks. Enjoy yourself, make great friends, but work hard too ;)

Also teenage ENFP's - you're not strange, you're awesome. For my first two years in highschool I was a complete socially helpless mess until Naruto(still a great show :p) of all things gave me the confidence to be myself - and almost immediately got a large and still very supportive friendship group. Stick on there, fuck the dicks.

You have to conform to normality to some point - don't live in your head, get out there and experience life :D personally I really want to travel, really looking forward to it.

In regards to depression, though in sincerely hope none of you are unlucky enough to get it, also stick in there. Look to your imagination and creativity and try to find a way out using that, and stick close to your friends. Let them know you're struggling ^_^
 

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no, you are not smart enough to get around hard work, no one is. I don't care how many clever ideas you think you come up with, you have to actually DO them, and sometimes you will run into messy details that you have to sort out. life isn't as sexy in the real world as it is in the theoretical paradise that is your mind.
He's completely right. Do the work first, play later. If you still have trouble doing it, then make work fun. Find something interesting about it and drive through.

Also, keep in mind... We maybe good at understanding people, but there are a few we always make mistakes with or some that will never like us no matter what we do. Forgive yourself and forgive them.

Lastly, sometimes it is best to tone down our extroverted ness for the sake of others. We understand them, they don't understand us, so we have to compensate for their lack of understanding. It's what we ENFPs do.
 

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Learn from my mistake - when you get into college/uni, DON'T overdo the socialisation aspect like I did, I very nearly got kicked out and now I'm looking at resits in a couple weeks. Enjoy yourself, make great friends, but work hard too ;)
mmhmm. I didn't have a lot of trouble being too social my first years of college, but I had quite a bit of trouble with the hard work part. still struggling with it :tongue:

Also teenage ENFP's - you're not strange, you're awesome. For my first two years in highschool I was a complete socially helpless mess until Naruto(still a great show :p) of all things gave me the confidence to be myself - and almost immediately got a large and still very supportive friendship group.
agreed, though there is something to be said of working on being less socially awkward

Stick on there, fuck the dicks.
*resists temptation to say something perverted* :proud:

You have to conform to normality to some point - don't live in your head, get out there and experience life :D personally I really want to travel, really looking forward to it.
do not mistake the need for navigating and working within reality for conforming to reality.

In regards to depression, though in sincerely hope none of you are unlucky enough to get it, also stick in there. Look to your imagination and creativity and try to find a way out using that, and stick close to your friends. Let them know you're struggling ^_^
truth!
 

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no, you are not smart enough to get around hard work, no one is. I don't care how many clever ideas you think you come up with, you have to actually DO them, and sometimes you will run into messy details that you have to sort out. life isn't as sexy in the real world as it is in the theoretical paradise that is your mind.
^this

aka: yes, you have to do the boring [email protected]
 

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Sounds to me like self image and confidence. I used to worry what others thought of me a lot. My best advice is if your friend just focuses on liking themselves and what they love to do and know that even if they can't please everyone, they will be inspiring some. Also self discovery takes time. I think with many young people we slowly learn more about ourselves. From my experience I always kept track on the things in life that made me happiest and figure out how I can do that myself. Also it's very important to never give up. Also self growth spiritual material strongly influenced my confidence. Hope that helps. :)
 

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Personally for me it didn't matter what people told me. I learned the best way through events. All though if you want me to try, I'd tell him that life is unfair and that he'll have to learn to live with it.
Sounds depressive, I know. That's what I'd say though.
I will say, flat out, that agree.

Back 20 years ago I made plenty of decisions, and there is no way anybody was going to influence my choice. I have matured enough to say that now, if I had the same choices to make, I would not make them. However, I have learned so much from those experiences that I can't say I made any mistakes.

I can only live the bed that I made for myself, etc. And do so joyfully and with great optimism and hope for the future!

If I could speak to an ENFP now I would say NO major life restricting decisions in the 20s. But, y'all will ignore me anyhow...
 

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I have an ENFP friend who is very charismatic, but looks down on himself because he thinks he's influenced people the wrong way. Though he knows it's unintentional he still feels bad about it. I think he's trying to figure himself out, and is having a hard time with it. Does anyone have some advice that you wish was said to you when you were younger, and figuring yourself out? Any words of encouragement would be helpful too.
Well, first of all - I'd say to your ENFP friend - we ALL rub people the wrong way sometimes. My INFJ girlfriend (and neither of us are very young) is STILL trying to figure out why she rubs so many the wrong way. One reason the eight-level model is superior to the four-level model some are promoting here is that it explains much of this issue. Our need to be liked by groups in general comes largely from our mostly-unconscious 6th-level function, archetypically the Critical Parent, which is filled by Fe: Extraverted Feeling. We want harmony with the group to keep from feeling down on ourselves. Accordingly, when young we tend to "gush" in order to be accepted. INFJs need to be liked by specific individuals as Fi, Introverted Feeling, fills that archetype. It's hard for many individuals to be accepted or rejected by the light of the INFJ laser beam, and acceptance or rejection by individuals is equally potent for the INFJ.

One thing I wish I knew when I was younger was what I've learned these past five years about personality type models. That knowledge would've helped greatly.

As for the rest: make this one of your personal mottoes and don't get discouraged by the process - "My reason for being is CHANGE." It takes time for all of us to mature and the way we do that is to seek a framework for positive change in the light of transcendent reality. Even atheists and agnostics, if they're going to self-actualize rather than become merely embittered as too many of both sets I know of are and have been, have to dedicate themselves to something higher than themselves.
 

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*It doesn't matter how nice you are. How hard you try and influence others for good. How many gifts you give, how much praise you shower others with...NOT EVERYONE WILL LIKE YOU. I spent years irritated by this illogical truth!!! And wasted a heck of a lot of time being kinder, nicer and more self-sacrificing to unappreciative people that didn't deserve my time!! If someone is so mean-spirited, jealous and pessimistic that they find your brave optimism annoying, pity them and MOVE ON. Don't let their negative attitude make you believe you are lacking. I spent years thinking I was doing something wrong, and got very depressed. There are plenty of sweet people that will want, value and love you. <-That was mainly for your friend.

*Other types don't have your energy...give your nearest and dearest family/partners a rest every now and then :) . Let them slob out watching netflix etc for a day before dragging them on the next adventure.

*Housework and chores will always suck. Throw out as much as you can instead!!! Less to tidy!

*Do one new thing every week or you will die inside. Really.

*If you become a parent remember you are a parent not just their buddy. STICK to discipline even though you really couldn't care less about the naughty thing they just did because it was kind of funny. You will be doing both of you a favor in the long run.

*Instead of always dreaming about tomorrow, notice the beauty of now once in a while...

:)
 

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do not give a fuck about stuff sometimes. When I was young, I would find myself kind of awkward. but you know what? I am not the stupid one, people are. I was much more enthusiastic, more open-minded and I was already interested in somewhat mature subjects. Just do what you need to do and the people with a mind like you will follow you. You are just more sparkly :crazy::cupcake::carrot:
 

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Looking back, my life seems careless and self indulgent. I didn't listen to advice. Looking back, I got a bunch of bad advice. I seem to have decided that there is good advice, and it's my life's ambition to dispense it. This is despite of my careless and self indulgent past. My advice on that, being careless and self indulgent can alleviate the boredom of sanity. It can also become an addiction. The entertainment industry depends on that.
 

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alrighty guys i have an ethical question i've been stuck on for awhile now, as a single 24 year old enfp(or for any single adult for that matter), what are your thoughts and views of dating multiple people at the same time, specifically first dates, any thoughts and ideas and reasons to either type of response to this is highly encouraged. :)
 

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alrighty guys i have an ethical question i've been stuck on for awhile now, as a single 24 year old enfp(or for any single adult for that matter), what are your thoughts and views of dating multiple people at the same time, specifically first dates, any thoughts and ideas and reasons to either type of response to this is highly encouraged. :)
Like the american style of ''dating'''? I've never done something like it I think, but I suppose it all comes down to what we label as ''dating'' and all.

In any case, I think the only thing that matters is being transparent, open and honest with others and their feelings. Being upfront with your situation and intentions. If ''dating'' means exploring possibilities and exploring potential chemistries between you and others, but without commitment, loyalty or exclusiveness-declarations .... it should be fine? As long as everyone is on the same page on that.

I refrain from the term ''date'' or ''dating'' in such case, it just means i'm still single. I think Dating means different things in USA vs. Europe.
 

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Don't give people advice when your own life is shit. Don't trash people online or speak negatively about them, its recorded online forever whether its true or not, and the person won't be there to defend themselves- it makes you look pathetic and kind of a bully. Its better to be anonymous. I really wish I had lurked on these forums instead of posting on them. I was too young, dumb and immature to participate before, and maybe even now.

Focus on one thing at a time, you can't learn 50 new things if you are still on the first thing, learn one thing, and learn it really well.

If someone gives you advice, try and implement it for a while before asking for more advice, otherwise you will keep running into similar problems.
 

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alrighty guys i have an ethical question i've been stuck on for awhile now, as a single 24 year old enfp(or for any single adult for that matter), what are your thoughts and views of dating multiple people at the same time, specifically first dates, any thoughts and ideas and reasons to either type of response to this is highly encouraged. :)
I think its a bad idea. I tried talking to multiple people online for a while, and I felt bad because I was getting attached to one person and didn't want to talk to anyone else, because it felt like I was betraying them, and I felt really confused.

Instead of dating multiple people, I would suggest becoming good friends with many people of the desired gender and seeing whom you are most compatible with, then asking them out. Its kind of like dating heaps of people, but you don't hurt people or burn bridges and it gives you a chance to get to know people without the pretense of impressing each other or giving false ideas. The only problem with this approach, is some people do the whole friendzoning thing, so it could backfire.
 

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Besides, unhealthy people often don't know they are, so those will assume you're not addressing them.
I was mostly addressing myself. About 80% of the stuff I have posted on here is probably bullshit. I loved giving people advice, yet my own life was a huge mess- still single at mid 20s, did badly at school, terrible social skills, struggled with eating disorders, Bipolar, manic, sleep deprived, lonely, overweight, lazy, unemployed, still living with parents... to be honest, I didn't know much about anything, at best, my advice was just opinions of what could work, not necessarily things I had tested.

I have found it to be true with other people- the main people who jump in to offer me advice tend to have drug problems, weight issues, dsyfunctional relationships etc... wouldn't you rather listen to someone who has been successful?

I am more of a cautionary tale than anything. I can tell you what doesn't work, and what I have learnt from some of my mistakes, but I'm not really an expert on anything.
 
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