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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, I don't know where to begin.
But I hate how things are. I know I always do this to myself, but no matter how much I try not to compare my past experience with men, I get the same thing. And I hate it.
I meet a guy last year, but I never wanted to talk to him in ways we have been recently. We spend a weekend together, things happen, one thing I hate is when the future is brought up, but I actually enjoy and live thinking of the future with him.
After that weekend, slowly became a ghost, he only called once every (2) weeks, and in time slowly stopped texting good morning. In addition to that, I did everything I could worked my schedule around just to be together for a weekend for him to coney with some unknown thing that came up, so we never spent it together, our communication just faded.
However, I asked him a while ago "do you still want to be with me" he became furious and we just stopped talking and no matter how much I've apologized he's just don't want to hear it. In my case i think it's over, but I also over think things. And over assume everything.
One thing that I've noticed is that I'm always the one extremely apologizing even if I'm not wrong.

I've been drinking for days now and can only hope things gets better. But, I cannot ask the same from him.
 

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Relationships rarely work out. Long distance relationships, even less so.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
See I'm a hopefull person. I always try to see the positive on ever negative actions and situations. And I do hope he and I work out. Yes we live 3 hrs away from each other, so like 4-6 states away. We both have the same profession, however he's more of a workaholic, more than I though I was to be. We met last year sometime around this month and stayed in contact as referrals. We're in the wedding industry, that's how we meet.
 

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Is there a relationship between distance and success? I can test it out, I could stand right on top of something and see how it works out.
Have you ever played that game "Telephone," where you pass a message down the line from person to person? The message rarely reaches the end completely unchanged... the further away you are from the source of the message, the more likely you are going to get a distorted message. It's like that with long distance relationships... when your only form of communication is through electronic means, particularly with FPs, they can read negatively into minor sleights, like being unable to respond to a text immediately. Depending on how they're feeling, those kind of things get built up and distort their perception and lead to arguments over literally nothing.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I never done that. However, there have been times I say something and he over exaggerates the conversation.
I'm not going to blame my INFJ personality of if he's an FP. But doesn't all relationship have to consist of communication regardless the distance and regardless of anything. It's about the fact that all because I said "do you still want to be with me" things have gone so stale and I mainly asked that because he's practically slowly stopped talking to me. But has so much time to social media and whatnot.
 

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I mean, it seems pretty clear to me his answer is "no," and he's kind of being a dick about it. Feel free to disagree. I'm a stranger on the Internet.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Basically this is all that happen since I told him that on Tuesday night:
Me: Do you still want to be with me?
Him: After a long crazy hectic day at work havent even slept since friday and u know my work schedule and all this is the text i get wow.. Rilli
Me: I know and you tell me. Don't get me wrong.
If your mad that's fine.
However as a person and with my background of experience I ask.
Wouldn't you do the same?
Please tell me something.
I hate silence.
Him: Im just hurt right now by what u asked me dont know what to say
And it continues with me apologizing and then today, well yesterday told him: Fine don't need to talk to me just know I'm SO FREAKING SORRY!
And at times I can be a total ass even a douch bag and the last thing is for us to be in no talking mode or doing this because of my choose of wrong words. I'm sorry!
I love you and I hope we can talk soon and put this in the past, that's if you can as well.

Nothing since...

All I can do is drink beer and listen to depressing music now.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I'm unhappy because when we started off we talked over the phone, texted and FaceTimed everyday, I really enjoyed that. But after we spent the weekend together things just went down hill. Things just changed like what we had was just quickly gone within weeks and he texted me here and there, but I felt like things were changing. And we both have a crazy work schedule but it doesn't mean you cannot take a min or two or so to tell someone hi how are you or something. Like before we would spend hours texting now it's only 3-6 text lines a day or so. And no phone calls no facetime. I want to call but I don't know nor want to interrupt not seem desperate as I've just done so.
 

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He seems incredibly irrational for neglecting to answer such a basic question. I would let things die down for a little bit and let him give you an explaination if he feels it necessary. If not then he doesn't love you and doesn't deserve to be in a relationship with you. Or he's cheating on you and doesn't want to tell you explicitly. Anyways why are you posting this on an intp forum? Niether of you appear to be that temperament.
 

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You're holding onto fun and good time memories, but what about how he is making you feel right now? How this close communication is affecting you? Is this the kind of relationship you want to deal with in the long run?
Do not allow emotions to cloud your judgment. Be mindful.
 
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