hi
basically, I'm an ENFP and I just moved country to go to University. So I'm away from all my old friends and family and I'm having a total blast. Before it I got talkin to a lot of people in my college, and one o them I got to take the myers/briggs test to see what he got, and he got INTJ.
I know that ENFP/INTJs are meant to be natural matches, but I'm also aware that there's more to people than their personality, so I decided not to place too much emphasis on it. Even so, since arriving about 3 or 4 days agoI've been hanging out with him and a group or his friends, as pretty much the only girl, and I'm finding myself really attracted to him. He's studying philosophy, and I really admire his intelligence and self confidence, as well as his sense of humour. And he's almost definitely flirting with me too. The thing is, he's not going any further than flirting, and if I do try to bring things to another level, he has a tendency to walk away.
For instance, earlier tonight I stole the hat that he was wearing. So he took the hand that wasn't holding it and started kissing all along it, and took the hat whilst I was distracted. Very smooth. Thing is, even though it was obviously flirtateous, when I later kissed him on the cheek he kind o backed away. We had a few similar occurences, until my feeler side got the better of me and I ended up in tears, because I felt like he was leading me on in a lot of ways and its very confusing. I know it's not that simple so I didn't go and pull him up for it, because there's proboably other stuff that I don't know. Thing is, he came over at one point whilst I was describin the situation to another friend, saw how upset I was, and completely ignored it, asking where some of our mutual friends had gone.
It's difficult not to take personally, though I realise I shouldn't; I had a kind of relationship with an INTJ last year, and it followed about 2 months of alternating heavy flirting with completely ignoring. I also realise that INTJs often aren't very good at the empathy side of things anyway. So I do understand why he's acting the way he is. What I need advice on is what I should do next.
I am aware that I've only known him a few days and I could have developed feelings much faster than he's ready for. I don't want to be too up front, make the first move and scare him off, but simultaneously I don't want to become totally passive waiting for him to take action and end up being put in the friend zone, or have him fall for someone else. I realise that he might like me and it may just take a few weeks for him to act on that. Or he might not like me and is just flirtateous with out meaning to be, although to be honest I really don't see how he could be that oblivious.
Any advice?
basically, I'm an ENFP and I just moved country to go to University. So I'm away from all my old friends and family and I'm having a total blast. Before it I got talkin to a lot of people in my college, and one o them I got to take the myers/briggs test to see what he got, and he got INTJ.
I know that ENFP/INTJs are meant to be natural matches, but I'm also aware that there's more to people than their personality, so I decided not to place too much emphasis on it. Even so, since arriving about 3 or 4 days agoI've been hanging out with him and a group or his friends, as pretty much the only girl, and I'm finding myself really attracted to him. He's studying philosophy, and I really admire his intelligence and self confidence, as well as his sense of humour. And he's almost definitely flirting with me too. The thing is, he's not going any further than flirting, and if I do try to bring things to another level, he has a tendency to walk away.
For instance, earlier tonight I stole the hat that he was wearing. So he took the hand that wasn't holding it and started kissing all along it, and took the hat whilst I was distracted. Very smooth. Thing is, even though it was obviously flirtateous, when I later kissed him on the cheek he kind o backed away. We had a few similar occurences, until my feeler side got the better of me and I ended up in tears, because I felt like he was leading me on in a lot of ways and its very confusing. I know it's not that simple so I didn't go and pull him up for it, because there's proboably other stuff that I don't know. Thing is, he came over at one point whilst I was describin the situation to another friend, saw how upset I was, and completely ignored it, asking where some of our mutual friends had gone.
It's difficult not to take personally, though I realise I shouldn't; I had a kind of relationship with an INTJ last year, and it followed about 2 months of alternating heavy flirting with completely ignoring. I also realise that INTJs often aren't very good at the empathy side of things anyway. So I do understand why he's acting the way he is. What I need advice on is what I should do next.
I am aware that I've only known him a few days and I could have developed feelings much faster than he's ready for. I don't want to be too up front, make the first move and scare him off, but simultaneously I don't want to become totally passive waiting for him to take action and end up being put in the friend zone, or have him fall for someone else. I realise that he might like me and it may just take a few weeks for him to act on that. Or he might not like me and is just flirtateous with out meaning to be, although to be honest I really don't see how he could be that oblivious.
Any advice?