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I have so many things I would like to discuss with my fellow 4s. But one of the most shocking, or accurate if you like, things I have read about my type is the following:

"Take an artistic, romantic orientation to life, creating a beautiful, aesthetic environment to cultivate and prolong personal feelings." w w w .enneagraminstitute.com/type-4/#sthash.HTP9cmN4.dpuf[/url]

This is so strange, because at a particular time in my life I had some severe struggle when someone did to me great injustice. After that I left the environment and went back to my childhood place, where I started to take up gardening, and creating a semi-japanese/english garden. With garden ponds, rose-beds lawns and so on. Do any of my fellow 4s enjoy gardening?

I know now that I did it to compensate for my hurt feelings, and to revive what has been pleasurable in my life. The beauty of nature has always been important to me, but so has anything I find beautiful or aesthetic. Ugly things make me depressed.

I also have this manner in other ways. For instance I love to rewatch old movies I knew from my childhood, to get some of the same joy and enthusiasm I felt as a child since I loved movies back then. I am quite nostalgic, and also have an extreme memory for what happened in the past.

That also has an impact on how I relate to others. If someone did, or said something bad to me years ago, I will never forget it, and this might be the first thing that comes to mind if I meet someone I haven't seen for ages. Of course they will have forgotten, but I tend to remember so many things. In fact one guy I know told me that he has never met someone with a memory for things that has happened in the past, such as me.

Can anybody relate to this?
 

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Looking at pastimes and hobbies as environment I agree that we do that. I don't systematically decorate my environment with material aesthetics, but I am a pack rat.

It's interesting how developing a classic passion can ease mental stress. We convert distress into something pleasant thru a simple task. I think that's called sublimation. I wouldn't doubt people use their pastimes to the end of appeasing their enneatype's fears. Gardening, banter or planning can achieve the same results.

My nerdy-Ni need to connect things together aside, I think our enneatype can choose a kind of pastime for us. I could see gardening being appealing to anyone desiring to express in-depth structure or delicate competence. I am interested in gardening, but the rewards aren't so compelling I make time for it. My primary pastime is developing singing technique (opera with punk!! :biggrin:). Others are social criticism, physical balance and general instrumentality. My, and, perhaps, the 4w3 environmental aesthetic is within defiance, which could be defined as empowering oneself over another. Iconoclasm comes to mind. I aim to demonstrate critical competence, or mastery, to imply that I can assert and resemble fine control. Gardening could get me there, but it emphasizes inventive energy, which does less for me than authoritative energy.

P.S. while I don't relate to the grudge stuff as much, I do to the nostalgia, which might be your Sensation function at work. It tends to remember how objects make it feel
 

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I hate gardening so much, part of it is the smell of soil. But part of it is that I'm not very patient, nor consistent, and you need to be those things in order to create and nurture a garden.

I like the idea of putting my heart into something that literally, physically grows. Being able to see the ...actual fruit of my labor, especially if I was doing it to ease a broken heart. I guess that's what art is to me. But in a garden, I fear I would look around and feel ... unfulfilled? Like it wasn't enough? Like it was too tangible? Like it took too long to get to that point, by which point perspective has shifted, and I'd be reminded that I over-sentimentalize things? Hah. When I sublimate via immediate channels, I don't have to face that so much.

Or.. I think I'm threatened by tangible things? They can be destroyed, they can be marred, they can be proven wrong, they can be taken.

I do long for a good aesthetic environment, and when I create or find one that matches my emotional interior, it's like heaven on earth but. Something nags at me, I feel I'm indulging something too real to be real. I LOVE it, don't get me wrong, this is more in retrospect. But... it almost reminds me of that feeling I get when I'm in costume, backstage, holding onto and preserving the essence of my character... while waiting for my scene.

-___- So if that makes any sense to anyone... I'll be just thrilled.

In any case, I'm sure I could actually learn a lot, through gardening.
 
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Do any of my fellow 4s enjoy gardening?
I do some gardening and I love spending time in nature. I love growing beautiful flowers and I also like areas that are allowed to grow wild. I am not into having a perfectly groomed yard, just an area where I can grow what I want (flowers and a garden for food) and let the rest just be natural and wild.
 
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