[Lilsnowy]

I'm curious how different types respond to non- sexual affection from the opposite sex, or from anyone you are attracted to. Do sensing types see physical touch as more sexual? Is type a factor in how we respond to touch?

Do you respond sexually or non sexually, to physical affection and why?

Do you feel 'teased' if someone you are attracted to hugs you but doesn't want more?

 

[Mind Marauder]

I like non-sexual affection from the opposite sex. For me, intention (sexual or non-sexual) is very easily read through physical touch. I really only feel teased when someone is actively teasing me. I don't feel teased if the other simply doesn't want anything more. That [simply not wanting more] actually leaves me quite cold.

 

[Spooky]

I'm curious how different types respond to non- sexual affection from the opposite sex, or from anyone you are attracted to. Do sensing types see physical touch as more sexual? Is type a factor in how we respond to touch?

Do you respond sexually or non sexually, to physical affection and why?

Do you feel 'teased' if someone you are attracted to hugs you but doesn't want more?

I can't help but to view touching (the opposite gender) as somewhat sexual even if it's not intentional; especially if I'm attracted to her.

 

[Aerorobyn]

I agree with everything Spooky said; just scratch out the "her" and replace it with "him".

 

[Lilsnowy]

Spooky and Aerorobyn, Is it because being introverted, you're less comfortable with touch, so it's more stimulating? Tyring to understand.

 

[Spooky]

Spooky and Aerorobyn, Is it because being introverted, you're less comfortable with touch, so it's more stimulating? Tyring to understand.

No, I'm not uncomfortable with touch at all. I like it.

 

[Singularity]

Even if I am attracted to the person, if the touching is non-sexual, I respond non-sexually. If they hug me, then it's just a hug. I wouldn't take that as them teasing me at all. If they touched me in a sexual way, like caressing me, holding me (not like a friendly hug), or something like that, then I would respond sexually.

 

[INFpharmacist]

Even if I am attracted to the person, if the touching is non-sexual, I respond non-sexually. If they hug me, then it's just a hug. I wouldn't take that as them teasing me at all. If they touched me in a sexual way, like caressing me, holding me (not like a friendly hug), or something like that, then I would respond sexually.

I totally agree. It's either sexual or it isn't, meaning I don't see any gray area (even if the other person was trying to incorporate or overlap sexual meaning into what is typically considered non-sexual).

And if someone tries to caress and I don't want to receive it sexually, then I won't. I'll just hug them back or back away entirely.

 

[SeekJess]

I'm not a touchy feely person at all, but when people who are touchy feely with me, and I'm attracted to them.. I think I would take it as they have feelings for me, and I guess I would respond sexually? even if it is out of my nature..

 

[addle1618]

Do you respond sexually or non sexually, to physical affection and why?

I don't respond. Well there was 1 girl I did, but in all generality I am too afraid.

Do you feel 'teased' if someone you are attracted to hugs you but doesn't want more?

I have never attempted to follow up or see if they want more. Better a fantasy than an uncomfortable situation. :wink:

 

[Lilsnowy]

Hugs or other physical affection feel like love to me. I can seperate affection from sex, but how many times I've hugged a male and he'll want to kiss me too. And I'll think, why does it have to be about sex? I was just hugging you.

I like it in Scary Movie 3 when Cindy is hugging George and in her worry she's crying and she says, "It's so hard!" and George says, "Well you're a beautiful woman and you're pressed up against me." And of course she wasn't thinking that at all.

I really appreciate yout thoughts. Thanks.

 

[Spooky]

A woman at my work hugged me tonight and I kissed her neck, but that's because she kissed mine last night when she hugged me. Granted, alcohol was involved on both occasions, but I don't usually take it upon myself to be overly affectionate unless it is reciprocated.

 

[HandiAce]

Spooky, that's one of the reasons why I never touch people because I'm afraid that people will think I would be asking for a sexual response. Hence, scaring them away from me. I think IXFPs sometimes don't like having their space (I.E. bubble space) invaded.

I think I am a cuddly person, I just don't want to risk making someone feel uncomfortable.

 

[amanda32]

I have a very difficult time NOT touching people I like, even in a platonic way. I guess, that's the borderline E in me?
I'm ALWAYS hugging and kissing people one the cheek and I think absolutely nothing of it except as an expression of friendship. Now, if sb. I was attracted to did this to me, I would respond sexually but I would try not to let it show. Or I would make a joke about it.
I think it's almost impossible for people to tell if I'm attracted to them or just being friendly. suckers!

 

[Lilsnowy]

Amanda, you and me both. I'm so clueless about some things, it's embarrassing: A boy at work, a 19 year old, (guys, no offense intended with the use of the word boy.) kissed my neck when he hugged me and I didn't know; I thought it was just something brash younger people do today. Later on he cornered me and tried to kiss me for real and I said, "What brought that on?" and he said, "Ever since I kissed your neck I was thinking about that." Hello! How would I know? I kiss and hug people, and if someone's taller, he's bound to get one on the jaw inadvertantly because I'm shooting for his cheek.

I have a friend who is tons taller but he has kissed me on the neck; he's very affectionate so I hated to say anything, but I finally told him I wouldn't be comfortable with him kissing my neck in front of my husband, so he probbaly shouldn't. He stopped for awhile, but then he did again after we hadn't seen each other in a while. I don't think he means anything by it, but I knew my husband wouldn't appreciate it.

 

[Essay]

Lately I've been taking part in a large amount of cheek kissing with Latin Americans and French people. I can't say that it ever drifted towards sexual for me, and I'm definately accustomed to it by this point. Somehow I don't see it as much of a display of affection---just a formal convention like any other.

Otherwise, when I was younger, I probably would've agreed that there wasn't much of a grey area when it came to physical affection; it was either sexual or it wasn't. Now, however, I feel more skeptical about reading any sexuality into things like that, and I will rarely ever act impulsively unless there's a pretty overt understanding between me and the girl.

 

[Lilsnowy]

I used to think I was wierd, because no one seemed as affectionate as I am. My brother was, but in our own family we seemed over the top (compared to everyone else!) with our affection for others. Now I see that there are many who love to make contact with others and feel comfortable getting close, even with people we might not know well. As long as you can tell when it's too much.

Here I go with a another little example from my life: I worked in a store and a regular customer always got way into my personal space. He would stand so close to me that I would step back, and then closer until I would walk backward and run into an obstacle and couldn't go back any farther. One time I literally ended up leaning back wards to get away from him and I finally said, "Sir, please back up. This is way too close for me." He stepped back, but still stayed too close and I wondered if it's possible to not have any idea about social rules. I didn't feel any sexual vibe, but he was very intrusive.

I always like hugging people I meet from other countries. I have worked with people from several and always enjoy the fact that they are quite physical in greetings. But again not sexual, just affectionate and open.

Now if I'm really attracted to someone, I guess I would call it, Exquisite Torment of the Hugging Kind. I have no problem with longing. We all experience it at times. :')

 

[DevilDoll]

Affection is something I tend to have trouble with. I am not an incredibly affectionate person (when I am sober). Yes, I will hug my family or my significant other. Yes, I will kiss him and things like that, but typically I don't make the advances. A lot of people tell me that I come accross as cold and hard because of this. I dated an ENFP for three years and we constantly fought because he thought I didn't love him because I wasn't constantly all over him. I simply tend to respect people's personal space. So, if someone I am interested in walks up and hugs me I will assume it is completely platonic. If he comes up and grabs my ass, or kisses me I will assume it is sexual. If he shows that he is obviously making sexual advances I would have no problem returning the favor. Until then I will stick to a little light flirting.

Now, this does not apply when I am intoxicated. I become much more outgoing and exceedingly affectionate when I am drunk. That doesn't mean I will walk up to some stragner and make out with them, but I do find myself hugging my friends, and being more sexually assertive with people I am interested in. I feel more comfortable making the first move in this situation. Probably because I am less selfconcious.

 

[firedell]

I could deal with hugs and kisses, and less sex. Sex isn't as meaningful. Sex doesn't make me feel complete, but if there is hugs ect in the mixture, I'd feel like there was an emotional connection. That is what matters most to me.

 

[Tal]

I'm curious how different types respond to non- sexual affection from the opposite sex, or from anyone you are attracted to. Do sensing types see physical touch as more sexual? Is type a factor in how we respond to touch?

Do you respond sexually or non sexually, to physical affection and why?

Do you feel 'teased' if someone you are attracted to hugs you but doesn't want more?

For me it depends a lot on who's doing the touching. When I'm interested in someone and they touch me the affection I give back is both sexual and non-sexual, more of a way of letting them know the sexual option is open if they're interested. When there's no interest it isn't.

I tend to project when it's ok to touch me and when not. People I don't want touching me usually won't, and if they do I make sure it doesn't happen again with my reaction.