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A Constant Riddle
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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I apologize for the very lengthy walls of text below, but hope that they can reveal something about my personality type

MBTI has been such a harrowing, confusing, beautiful, and puzzling journey. For the past three years, I’ve attempted to tap into the secret recesses of my mind, but to no avail. Everything still feels so muddled to me. For the longest time, I believed myself to be one type, and it felt so perfectly fitting. But upon other type suggestions, I stumbled onto a dark, long, complicated road of cognitive functions, and everything has become blurred. I’ve discovered many contradictions in who I am that it’s difficult for me to uncover who truly lies inside. While it has been frustrating and painful, the glittering desire in me to discover myself remains intact. It’s a constant hounding desire inside, and I don’t know why it continues to torment me for years, but I can never stop overthinking about my type. I feel like, to have a beautiful future, I need to understand myself. For the longest time, I became lost in lies of who I was, and I no longer want to be caged by that. As I head into college, I feel a deep, deep desire to uncover myself. Perhaps I will never find a type that captures me, and maybe I am untypeable. But just for one final attempt, I want to understand who resides within, the mystery girl that haunts me forever.

I think that the heart of who I have become lies in how I have always felt alone. As a child, I had a heart glimmering with feeling. I felt for the hearts of those around me. I used to have a little moon trinket that I cherished deeply. I thought she was the daughter of the moon. But I worried that she was lonely, so I threw her to the moon. There was also a girl in my preschool that arrived a few months after I had, and her face streamed with tears. I felt so heartbroken and understood her pain, so I befriended her. I always longed to share my heart with others and dazzle with joy and love, but it was difficult because I felt like a ghost. Like there was a constant wall bridling me from everyone else. Something inside of me stopped me from trying to mold inside. I also began to battle social anxiety and felt that everybody secretly hated me, so I isolated myself and held so much hatred inside. I would hiss and growl at the other children, feeling bizarre and alone and despised. The feeling that there was something inside of me that never quite fit shaped my entire life. It was painful but beautiful and rewarding.

The millions of contradictions inside of me keep blinding me from who I truly am. I see glimmers of myself in every function, which makes it difficult to truly boil down to the ones that capture the heart of who I am. I can see so many different layers of myself, and the more that I have cascaded into my mind, the more puzzling it becomes. The enigma is beautiful but scorching. I feel constantly lost inside of myself, and it hurts because I just want to understand, but I can't. I’ve answered the questionnaires here so many times, but I feel like I may have subconsciously twisted my answers to mold into the type I believed I was. So I am instead just attempting to describe my relationship with every function and hoping that it can shed light on the truth of my mind and pull me from this never-ending confusion.

-Fe: This is the function I feel I may have used as a child, but it died with time. Like I described before, I have always felt a burning love for others inside of me. My heart wishes to connect with others profusely and eternally, that binds our hearts together. I wish that others could see who I was and understand and accept it. For the longest time, I worried about blending in and hiding my colors because unleashing them terrified me. In elementary school, even though I vehemently struggled to fit in because it was painful, I secretly desired to belong and feel loved. There were times I became overly worried about what others thought of me. I would chastise my brother for crying in public because we had guests. I became lost in a disgusting trap of gossip because there was something secretly intoxicating about creating stories about others. But I never realized the sheer horror and wrongness of what I was doing until a friend of mind distanced from me, and we discussed why. I truly felt convicted and never again gossiped, but I secretly still feel malicious and evil inside. I have also always had an uncanny way of understanding how others felt about me. If someone was romantically interested in me, I never needed to be told, I just somehow knew; it was a ghostlike knowing. I deep down wanted to connect with others and share my heart, but it was always a disaster, so I retreated into my inner world. Sometimes I would fall into the trap of sugarcoating how I truly felt to please others or afraid of sharing my innermost thoughts. It’s something I battled for a long time, and now I find embracing my own unique heart beautiful, and would never trade it away, but it was a part of my childhood self. I also loved advising on online forums, because I wanted to truly help others, and it was like an intriguing little puzzle, immersing myself in the world of another person and trying to help them solve their quandaries.

-Fi: Although I have never been vehemently individualistic and afraid of shining in a crowd, I still have always felt deeply in tune with my heart. All the stars and glimmers and feelings are an eternal part of me that forever swim inside. My emotions have always felt very precious and vulnerable, and I struggled with sharing them. Even though I am secretly very emotional and sensitive, I veiled it by deluding myself that I hated humankind. When I let my heart dissolve onto the paper, something beautiful happens. It’s like the hidden universe inside of me comes to love and erupts into a dazzling avalanche of my entire being, it’s something divine and raw. I feel very, very deeply, and view the world through the eyes of my heart. There are actions that I would never take because they are so vile and pernicious and although my moral compass is quite blurred and undefined, when sparked it illuminates inside of me violently. I have never shared my romantic feelings with anyone because they are so tender and veiled, and I fear sharing them because they are very intimate. Even with my closest friend, I have never felt comfortable with baring that side of my heart. I always found words the most exquisite way of capturing how I felt inside-everything else felt so inadequate.

Ne: I have always been a very verbal child. To me, while life is beautiful, it is even more beautiful when discussed. What adds magic to something is speaking about it, what we feel and think and desire about it. The sky is beautiful, but what makes it even more fascinating are our interpretations of it, what it reminds us of, the stories we have of it, what we picture of it. I love telling and learning stories very much. When I fell into the phase of gossiping as a child, I mainly did so by creating stories. As a child, I would lie to my teachers about having a secret life because my own life felt so banal, and my mind would try to enhance it. I was also a curious child, spilling with thousands of questions about everything and anything, and I loved to learn, especially about anything mysterious. I would fall into the depths of fascination about Egyptian mythology for a while, then transitioning into ballet, then the Romanovs. I also had quite a bizarre and outlandish humor that is as fitful and unpredictable as the wind. A friend and I bonded because when we heard a song at our music concert, it reminded me of a dying train. I love twisting and seeing different perspectives, and debates inspire me. But what leads me to doubt my Ne is that I have had trouble brainstorming and embracing my creativity in the past, which led me to use the ideas of others. I don’t know if it derives from a lack of creativity, or because my creativity was hindered by my teachers as a child. I felt so insecure about my mind to the extent that it took me years to conquer my fear of sharing my thoughts in class, and perhaps it translated into my fear. Whenever asked to share ideas for a project, my heart freezes, and my mind feels so barred. However, when I am alone and feel comfortable, my thoughts sparkle wildly and uninhibited. I am also an optimist at heart. Even when the deepest trenches of darkness swallow me, an endless light swirls inside of me. I see the future as a magnificent dome of promise and believe that good things can always find us. Even when caught in a conundrum my hope blooms inside of me and guides me, and I am good at framing situations in ways that shed light on a situation positively. For instance, if somebody fails a test, I see it as a sign of their more beautiful, hidden talents, and a reminder of their beautiful and human fragility. I love expanding my mind and learning about the stories shelved in the world beyond.


Ni: I love looking beneath the surface and exploring the dazzling mysteries of the mind, which is why I feel so gravitated towards MBTI. I like to think of hidden motivations and am good at understanding what is unsaid and unseen. As a child, I loved anything otherworldly and hypnotizingly magical. I would devour books from the library of our elementary school about any phenomena-like rainbows, mermaids, and ghosts. I wanted to explore what intrigued me, what pulled me. And since I was little, I found the future so beautiful. I desire it very much, and as I head to college, it fills me with giddy excitement. I have never known what I wanted to do or had a crystalline vision in mind, but I liked envisioning myself changing the world. What I mainly treasure about the future is its mystery. I can grow in so many different ways, and I can escape from my darkness and uncover something beautiful. It is a sacred time. I am not much of a planner, but I do like having a core idea of what I want to pursue in any project, and then diverging from there and not limiting myself, let the stream pour out from my mind and ripple in its distinct way. Also, I am fairly good at envisioning solutions that others fail to see. For instance, when my mom was creating honey broccoli, she was alarmed that we had no honey, so I suggested she tried with maple syrup. When we were creating a video poem for English class, we accidentally had a slide without a photo, so I suggested that we use the black slide as symbolic of the hopelessness and weight of the tragedy of the story. I am good at understanding how to improve something-when my friend told me about a story she had written a story in which one the girls acted strangely but struggled to devise a background. I suggested that it would add complexity to the plot if she wrote about the torn conflict between the girl and her parents. In general, I am quite good at having little glimmers of understanding about how a situation might unravel, even though I could be wrong. When I also try to learn a new concept, it’s difficult for me to grasp all of the little details, so I try to fathom the main idea by stringing them together into one understanding.

Se: In some ways, I am the antithesis of Se. I despise dangerous sensations. As a child, I was horrified by rollercoasters and fast cars and could never understand how others found them beautiful because to me they felt deathlike. I like little surprises, but anything too vast terrifies me. I have always been quite uncoordinated when it comes to athletics, especially those involving balls, to the extent that I feel like a butchered animal when doing so. Still, I loved little sensations and was quite tactile as a child. I loved touching fabrics, like velvet and satin, and would eat markers, to an addictive extent (which might have been due to Pica). I also like the idea of being free and dashing and wild at the moment, even though I never truly have been. I felt mesmerized anything glittering and became obsessed with laminated paper and crystals, to the extent that I obsessed about them voraciously for months and researched their properties. Although I find crafts and arts beautiful and have always tried them, I failed terribly because I never had the magic grace that artists seem to. I am quite good at infusing my writing with details. When I was little, I would write intricate descriptions of beautiful dresses and princesses, dashing with colors and vibrancy. I also stumbled onto a phase where I became obsessed with fashion and putting together beautiful outfits, although I would never feel comfortable wearing them in public. Sometimes when I was little, I would make gravely terrible decisions. I had once read a book where a girl solved a mystery by opening a locker with a paperclip, so I tried it in middle school, which got me into serious trouble. Also, once in Kindergarten, when my friend drank water, the way her cheeks became balloonlike disturbed me, so I spontaneously pressed them together-which was quite a terrible decision. I was quite experimental, never extremely adventurous, but trying new things was beautiful and exciting to me.

-Si: I have always been very cocooned in my comfort zone, and find certain sensations beautiful and timeless, idolizing them in my heart. I love the warm, maternal blanket of warm water over my body on a Winter’s night, the glimmering eye of a star on my heart, the feeling of a scarlet autumn brilliance wrapping me in its fire. There are certain distinct feelings, very poetic ones that I treasure. I love the way being sick feels like a romantic warmth dazing over my body, and the feeling of life spinning over me, so fragile and tepid. I prefer to remain in my physical comfort zone and tend to treasure specific sweaters and songs, clinging to them over and over again, forming an entire story with them. I am deeply nostalgic and feel heartbroken when I lose something precious to me. When I was little, if we had a jar of fireflies, it hurt to let them go. The day I lost my friend, I woke up with tears streaming. I find the past beautiful and lovely, a forever emblem of my life, and it inspires me. I also have a penchant for being able to look at two words and knowing which one is correct because it internally stamps my mind. However, routines have always been ghastly to me. They feel so constricting and unnatural, and I have never been able to contain them, even though I have tried to do so in vain. I find old centuries particularly lovely and love reading old books because there is distinct magic to them that I wish I could cloak myself in forever, a special, undefinable depth. I can sometimes be mentally prisoned by doing things a certain way because it feels right, and I am afraid to test the waters by trying another approach. For instance, I would prefer to drive to a house one way because trying it another way feels dangerous and taxing.

Te: This one is quite difficult to pinpoint inside of me, but as a child, I would always try to better myself and become organized, but I always failed. I am a terrible procrastinator. Still, there is a side of me that longs for achievement, and I secretly find something magnetic about prestige. I am a perfectionist at heart and can sometimes become black and white about projects. At school, when I was younger, if I felt others were being lazy and didn’t care as much as I did (depending on my comfort level) I would chastise them about it and become like a dictator. When I was little, I could also be quite bossy with my brother and tell him what to do when we were ordered to clean our room. I love to teach concepts and create imaginary reports and pretend I am a teacher; there is something so satisfying about it. Also, when it comes to my feelings, I can seem cold and calcified on the outside, coming across as deadly and unfriendly even though my heart deeply desires for friendship and love. I fell into a very spiteful phase where I claimed to hate others that I secretly loved and became subconsciously homophobic, something that I am battling now. I want to have a dazzling and rewarding future and care about success very much, but I struggle to take the tangible steps to do so. However, depending on the person, I can very much struggle to tell it as it is because I am afraid of hurting them and vocalizing how I feel inside.

Ti: This one is also difficult for me to describe because the descriptions always confused me and felt foreign to me. However, I have always loved to learn. When my mind caught a glimmer of intrigue, it never happens just to improve my life-I love learning for the raw, unadulterated desire to learn. When I was little, Wikipedia enchanted me because it was a mine of infinitesimal secrets. I was extremely curious and loved to ask “why?” about anything that piqued my interest. I am also quite good at analyzing and can see the flaws in an argument, which is why I am quite good at debating. For instance, in an attempt to discuss abortion, I can see the ignored shades of an argument, so I propose them. However, I don’t understand what it means to categorize information-I can tell if something makes sense intuitively, but I rarely implement an underlying process. However, I feel I could be overestimating my ability to understand logical blindspots, because in Journalism class when my teacher was describing the logical fallacies, everything felt foreign to me. People seemed to identify them with far more ease than me, and I struggled to do so. In general, this function is quite a mystery to me, and I am unsure if I truly use it or not.

All of the functions are so beautiful, and I have found this journey very interesting, but my mind feels so clouded. I am not sure who I am or if my bias has distorted my understanding. Deep down, I wonder if I could be an extrovert because, as a child, I radiated energy that I lost years later, and my mom suspects that a vaccination shaped me into who I have become. The prospect of being a foreigner to who you believe deep down is terrifying. All I know is that I am a girl with a very long tale of ache and desire, endless paradoxes, and a need to understand my type. I hope that my understanding of the functions could help to illuminate which ones I use, or at least reveal something about myself. I would be truly grateful if anyone could help me. It has been a long and arduous journey, filled with so much confusion, but in the end, I believe it can be instrumental to my growth. Please let me know if I need to clarify anything about my thought process or provide any other information that would help with typing. Any input at all would be extremely helpful. Thank you :)
 

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A Constant Riddle
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Discussion Starter #3
You are INFP. You seem almost cartoonishly Fi and it seems like you are more an Ne than an Se.
Thank you for your thoughts-truthfully, deep down I feel like my heart belongs to INFP as a personally type, unless I've completely blinded myself to who I really am. But I was typed as an INFJ on another forum, and now I feel so puzzled. I am still awaiting a response, but hopefully it can illuminate that perspective and which functions I use.
 

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It is your obsession with your identity that makes you Fi and not an Fe.

So try to think of it like this, you are obviously an I, but in what way are you an I. Reading this all through, you are in your own head based on your own feelings of identity and what things mean to you, which is introverted feeling, not introverted intuition. So we can say that you have some part of you that is in your head and some part of you that is outside of you, which would be extraverted intuition. You reveal this in how you describe introverted intuition

I love looking beneath the surface and exploring the dazzling mysteries of the mind, which is why I feel so gravitated towards MBTI. I like to think of hidden motivations and am good at understanding what is unsaid and unseen
This is only vaguely intuition as Jung describes it. As you continue on

I have never known what I wanted to do or had a crystalline vision in mind, but I liked envisioning myself changing the world. What I mainly treasure about the future is its mystery. What I mainly treasure about the future is its mystery. I can grow in so many different ways, and I can escape from my darkness and uncover something beautiful. It is a sacred time. I am not much of a planner, but I do like having a core idea of what I want to pursue in any project, and then diverging from there and not limiting myself, let the stream pour out from my mind and ripple in its distinct way.
You then describe what are kind of key parts of Ni as not being you.

But I mean, you can play this self study game forever and maybe you will because you are an introverted feeling type, but it's fairly obviously you are INFP not INFJ. All you need to understand is that you are an I and you introversion is your own identity, values, etc because you very clearly demonstrate you obsess over it.
 

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Hello! I'm no expert so this will just be from my personal understanding, but I'll try to explain the best I can.

-Fe: This is the function I feel I may have used as a child, but it died with time. Like I described before, I have always felt a burning love for others inside of me. My heart wishes to connect with others profusely and eternally, that binds our hearts together. I wish that others could see who I was and understand and accept it. For the longest time, I worried about blending in and hiding my colors because unleashing them terrified me. In elementary school, even though I vehemently struggled to fit in because it was painful, I secretly desired to belong and feel loved. There were times I became overly worried about what others thought of me.
I think these could be the desires/fears of a higher feeler, depending on where it's stemming from. Typically, Fi is self-referencing - everything comes back to it. How it feels about something. How it would feel in another's situation. Fe's focus is on others and how they feel, which both functions can struggle with fitting in, though Fe's desire is out of wanting group harmony, to be connected to the group, and Fi wants harmony for its inner self, even if that means going against the group.

I would chastise my brother for crying in public because we had guests. I became lost in a disgusting trap of gossip because there was something secretly intoxicating about creating stories about others. But I never realized the sheer horror and wrongness of what I was doing until a friend of mind distanced from me, and we discussed why. I truly felt convicted and never again gossiped, but I secretly still feel malicious and evil inside.
This could be unhealthy Fe, and what swayed you to realize it was wrong was the potential loss of a friend which could be Fe fearing to lose a connection, but I wouldn't rule out a Fi in a potential grip, not caring about what they say. Fe can take it out on others by twisting narratives or criticizing others to feel better (this is more unhealthy), and Fi is more likely to internalize with occasional blunt comments in lashing out. Fe's focus is on the other's feelings still, whether it's to hurt or not hurt, and Fi is trying to defend it's feelings. I do think you have a high F preference.

I have also always had an uncanny way of understanding how others felt about me. If someone was romantically interested in me, I never needed to be told, I just somehow knew; it was a ghostlike knowing.
Might be a N thing plus Fe.

I deep down wanted to connect with others and share my heart, but it was always a disaster, so I retreated into my inner world. Sometimes I would fall into the trap of sugarcoating how I truly felt to please others or afraid of sharing my innermost thoughts. It’s something I battled for a long time, and now I find embracing my own unique heart beautiful, and would never trade it away, but it was a part of my childhood self. I also loved advising on online forums, because I wanted to truly help others, and it was like an intriguing little puzzle, immersing myself in the world of another person and trying to help them solve their quandaries.
Fi + Ne can do the same but it depends on how immersed you are into other people, how much of their feelings you take in, or if your feelings cross into theirs.

-Fi: Although I have never been vehemently individualistic and afraid of shining in a crowd, I still have always felt deeply in tune with my heart. All the stars and glimmers and feelings are an eternal part of me that forever swim inside. My emotions have always felt very precious and vulnerable, and I struggled with sharing them. Even though I am secretly very emotional and sensitive, I veiled it by deluding myself that I hated humankind.
Just by your words alone, you do seem to really over-identify with your feelings despite having a lot of confusion, and I know Fi can come to that black-white thinking by also believing mankind is 'bad' or 'evil'.

When I let my heart dissolve onto the paper, something beautiful happens. It’s like the hidden universe inside of me comes to love and erupts into a dazzling avalanche of my entire being, it’s something divine and raw. I feel very, very deeply, and view the world through the eyes of my heart. There are actions that I would never take because they are so vile and pernicious and although my moral compass is quite blurred and undefined, when sparked it illuminates inside of me violently. I have never shared my romantic feelings with anyone because they are so tender and veiled, and I fear sharing them because they are very intimate. Even with my closest friend, I have never felt comfortable with baring that side of my heart. I always found words the most exquisite way of capturing how I felt inside-everything else felt so inadequate.
The bottom does sound like Fi. Fi's feelings tend to be more abstract, where they might have trouble verbalizing it. They tend to need to understand their feelings on their own, and often don't feel the need to share. Fe might choose not to share out of fear, but they might feel more relief and have better understanding when they do.

Ne: I have always been a very verbal child. To me, while life is beautiful, it is even more beautiful when discussed. What adds magic to something is speaking about it, what we feel and think and desire about it. The sky is beautiful, but what makes it even more fascinating are our interpretations of it, what it reminds us of, the stories we have of it, what we picture of it. I love telling and learning stories very much. When I fell into the phase of gossiping as a child, I mainly did so by creating stories. As a child, I would lie to my teachers about having a secret life because my own life felt so banal, and my mind would try to enhance it. I was also a curious child, spilling with thousands of questions about everything and anything, and I loved to learn, especially about anything mysterious. I would fall into the depths of fascination about Egyptian mythology for a while, then transitioning into ballet, then the Romanovs.
I've seen Ne do that a lot, where they tend to leap on ideas with vigor fascination only to move onto something else that catches their eye. Ni's abstract ideas or insights tend to have more trouble being put into words.

I also had quite a bizarre and outlandish humor that is as fitful and unpredictable as the wind. A friend and I bonded because when we heard a song at our music concert, it reminded me of a dying train. I love twisting and seeing different perspectives, and debates inspire me. But what leads me to doubt my Ne is that I have had trouble brainstorming and embracing my creativity in the past, which led me to use the ideas of others. I don’t know if it derives from a lack of creativity, or because my creativity was hindered by my teachers as a child.
I wouldn't say this negates anything, since if you are a dominant introverted feeling, then depending on your age your auxiliary function was either underdeveloped or in the process of developing.

I felt so insecure about my mind to the extent that it took me years to conquer my fear of sharing my thoughts in class, and perhaps it translated into my fear. Whenever asked to share ideas for a project, my heart freezes, and my mind feels so barred. However, when I am alone and feel comfortable, my thoughts sparkle wildly and uninhibited. I am also an optimist at heart. Even when the deepest trenches of darkness swallow me, an endless light swirls inside of me. I see the future as a magnificent dome of promise and believe that good things can always find us. Even when caught in a conundrum my hope blooms inside of me and guides me, and I am good at framing situations in ways that shed light on a situation positively. For instance, if somebody fails a test, I see it as a sign of their more beautiful, hidden talents, and a reminder of their beautiful and human fragility. I love expanding my mind and learning about the stories shelved in the world beyond.
I think you seem like a xNFx type.

Ni: I love looking beneath the surface and exploring the dazzling mysteries of the mind, which is why I feel so gravitated towards MBTI. I like to think of hidden motivations and am good at understanding what is unsaid and unseen. As a child, I loved anything otherworldly and hypnotizingly magical. I would devour books from the library of our elementary school about any phenomena-like rainbows, mermaids, and ghosts. I wanted to explore what intrigued me, what pulled me. And since I was little, I found the future so beautiful. I desire it very much, and as I head to college, it fills me with giddy excitement. I have never known what I wanted to do or had a crystalline vision in mind, but I liked envisioning myself changing the world.
Very N.

What I mainly treasure about the future is its mystery. I can grow in so many different ways, and I can escape from my darkness and uncover something beautiful. It is a sacred time. I am not much of a planner, but I do like having a core idea of what I want to pursue in any project, and then diverging from there and not limiting myself, let the stream pour out from my mind and ripple in its distinct way. Also, I am fairly good at envisioning solutions that others fail to see. For instance, when my mom was creating honey broccoli, she was alarmed that we had no honey, so I suggested she tried with maple syrup. When we were creating a video poem for English class, we accidentally had a slide without a photo, so I suggested that we use the black slide as symbolic of the hopelessness and weight of the tragedy of the story.
Hmm, I think this could fall more under Ne. Ne = short-term possibilities, it operates on the endless possibilities life has and doesn't want to be limited to one. Ni = long-term path, it tends to be going towards a certain vision of their future and uses their intuition to predict obstacles.

I am good at understanding how to improve something-when my friend told me about a story she had written a story in which one the girls acted strangely but struggled to devise a background. I suggested that it would add complexity to the plot if she wrote about the torn conflict between the girl and her parents. In general, I am quite good at having little glimmers of understanding about how a situation might unravel, even though I could be wrong. When I also try to learn a new concept, it’s difficult for me to grasp all of the little details, so I try to fathom the main idea by stringing them together into one understanding.
N's typically struggle with handling details because they naturally go towards the bigger picture.

Se: In some ways, I am the antithesis of Se. I despise dangerous sensations. As a child, I was horrified by rollercoasters and fast cars and could never understand how others found them beautiful because to me they felt deathlike. I like little surprises, but anything too vast terrifies me. I have always been quite uncoordinated when it comes to athletics, especially those involving balls, to the extent that I feel like a butchered animal when doing so. Still, I loved little sensations and was quite tactile as a child. I loved touching fabrics, like velvet and satin, and would eat markers, to an addictive extent (which might have been due to Pica). I also like the idea of being free and dashing and wild at the moment, even though I never truly have been. I felt mesmerized anything glittering and became obsessed with laminated paper and crystals, to the extent that I obsessed about them voraciously for months and researched their properties. Although I find crafts and arts beautiful and have always tried them, I failed terribly because I never had the magic grace that artists seem to. I am quite good at infusing my writing with details. When I was little, I would write intricate descriptions of beautiful dresses and princesses, dashing with colors and vibrancy. I also stumbled onto a phase where I became obsessed with fashion and putting together beautiful outfits, although I would never feel comfortable wearing them in public. Sometimes when I was little, I would make gravely terrible decisions. I had once read a book where a girl solved a mystery by opening a locker with a paperclip, so I tried it in middle school, which got me into serious trouble. Also, once in Kindergarten, when my friend drank water, the way her cheeks became balloonlike disturbed me, so I spontaneously pressed them together-which was quite a terrible decision. I was quite experimental, never extremely adventurous, but trying new things was beautiful and exciting to me.
You could have Se, but I don't think it would be high in your stack. It can still be possible if it's an auxiliary function, because Se doesn't necessarily mean you're automatically good at being athletic and wanting to do everything.

-Si: I have always been very cocooned in my comfort zone, and find certain sensations beautiful and timeless, idolizing them in my heart. I love the warm, maternal blanket of warm water over my body on a Winter’s night, the glimmering eye of a star on my heart, the feeling of a scarlet autumn brilliance wrapping me in its fire. There are certain distinct feelings, very poetic ones that I treasure. I love the way being sick feels like a romantic warmth dazing over my body, and the feeling of life spinning over me, so fragile and tepid. I prefer to remain in my physical comfort zone and tend to treasure specific sweaters and songs, clinging to them over and over again, forming an entire story with them. I am deeply nostalgic and feel heartbroken when I lose something precious to me. When I was little, if we had a jar of fireflies, it hurt to let them go. The day I lost my friend, I woke up with tears streaming. I find the past beautiful and lovely, a forever emblem of my life, and it inspires me. I also have a penchant for being able to look at two words and knowing which one is correct because it internally stamps my mind. However, routines have always been ghastly to me. They feel so constricting and unnatural, and I have never been able to contain them, even though I have tried to do so in vain. I find old centuries particularly lovely and love reading old books because there is distinct magic to them that I wish I could cloak myself in forever, a special, undefinable depth. I can sometimes be mentally prisoned by doing things a certain way because it feels right, and I am afraid to test the waters by trying another approach. For instance, I would prefer to drive to a house one way because trying it another way feels dangerous and taxing.
People who have Si can feel tied to the past, but not necessarily use it as naturally as a dominant would. NFP's tend to have the feeling of wanting comfort, while also feeling restricted by routine and procedures.

Te: This one is quite difficult to pinpoint inside of me, but as a child, I would always try to better myself and become organized, but I always failed. I am a terrible procrastinator. Still, there is a side of me that longs for achievement, and I secretly find something magnetic about prestige. I am a perfectionist at heart and can sometimes become black and white about projects. At school, when I was younger, if I felt others were being lazy and didn’t care as much as I did (depending on my comfort level) I would chastise them about it and become like a dictator. When I was little, I could also be quite bossy with my brother and tell him what to do when we were ordered to clean our room.
If you're an INFP it would be your inferior function, and you seem to have a desire to be better at it while feeling like your attempts at trying to use it ended in failure.

I love to teach concepts and create imaginary reports and pretend I am a teacher; there is something so satisfying about it. Also, when it comes to my feelings, I can seem cold and calcified on the outside, coming across as deadly and unfriendly even though my heart deeply desires for friendship and love. I fell into a very spiteful phase where I claimed to hate others that I secretly loved and became subconsciously homophobic, something that I am battling now. I want to have a dazzling and rewarding future and care about success very much, but I struggle to take the tangible steps to do so. However, depending on the person, I can very much struggle to tell it as it is because I am afraid of hurting them and vocalizing how I feel inside.
Yeah, most likely inferior.

Ti: This one is also difficult for me to describe because the descriptions always confused me and felt foreign to me. However, I have always loved to learn. When my mind caught a glimmer of intrigue, it never happens just to improve my life-I love learning for the raw, unadulterated desire to learn.
This doesn't necessarily mean Ti, at least not dominant. N's love to learn new things, and subjective types love to learn about things they're interested in.

When I was little, Wikipedia enchanted me because it was a mine of infinitesimal secrets. I was extremely curious and loved to ask “why?” about anything that piqued my interest. I am also quite good at analyzing and can see the flaws in an argument, which is why I am quite good at debating. For instance, in an attempt to discuss abortion, I can see the ignored shades of an argument, so I propose them.
Could be Ti. Could be Ne. Could be both.

However, I don’t understand what it means to categorize information-I can tell if something makes sense intuitively, but I rarely implement an underlying process. However, I feel I could be overestimating my ability to understand logical blindspots, because in Journalism class when my teacher was describing the logical fallacies, everything felt foreign to me. People seemed to identify them with far more ease than me, and I struggled to do so. In general, this function is quite a mystery to me, and I am unsure if I truly use it or not.
I'm leaning towards INFP for your typing, but you can choose to take it with a grain of salt. I think the right area to look at are the types with high feeling and intuition, since that's what you come across as the most. I do see a bit of evidence of all the functions (but only because my brain is also confusing), but the ones that fit and are explained better make most sense for INFP's stack, including Si + inferior Te.
 

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Hello! I'm no expert so this will just be from my personal understanding, but I'll try to explain the best I can.



I think these could be the desires/fears of a higher feeler, depending on where it's stemming from. Typically, Fi is self-referencing - everything comes back to it. How it feels about something. How it would feel in another's situation. Fe's focus is on others and how they feel, which both functions can struggle with fitting in, though Fe's desire is out of wanting group harmony, to be connected to the group, and Fi wants harmony for its inner self, even if that means going against the group.



This could be unhealthy Fe, and what swayed you to realize it was wrong was the potential loss of a friend which could be Fe fearing to lose a connection, but I wouldn't rule out a Fi in a potential grip, not caring about what they say. Fe can take it out on others by twisting narratives or criticizing others to feel better (this is more unhealthy), and Fi is more likely to internalize with occasional blunt comments in lashing out. Fe's focus is on the other's feelings still, whether it's to hurt or not hurt, and Fi is trying to defend it's feelings. I do think you have a high F preference.



Might be a N thing plus Fe.



Fi + Ne can do the same but it depends on how immersed you are into other people, how much of their feelings you take in, or if your feelings cross into theirs.



Just by your words alone, you do seem to really over-identify with your feelings despite having a lot of confusion, and I know Fi can come to that black-white thinking by also believing mankind is 'bad' or 'evil'.



The bottom does sound like Fi. Fi's feelings tend to be more abstract, where they might have trouble verbalizing it. They tend to need to understand their feelings on their own, and often don't feel the need to share. Fe might choose not to share out of fear, but they might feel more relief and have better understanding when they do.



I've seen Ne do that a lot, where they tend to leap on ideas with vigor fascination only to move onto something else that catches their eye. Ni's abstract ideas or insights tend to have more trouble being put into words.



I wouldn't say this negates anything, since if you are a dominant introverted feeling, then depending on your age your auxiliary function was either underdeveloped or in the process of developing.



I think you seem like a xNFx type.



Very N.



Hmm, I think this could fall more under Ne. Ne = short-term possibilities, it operates on the endless possibilities life has and doesn't want to be limited to one. Ni = long-term path, it tends to be going towards a certain vision of their future and uses their intuition to predict obstacles.



N's typically struggle with handling details because they naturally go towards the bigger picture.



You could have Se, but I don't think it would be high in your stack. It can still be possible if it's an auxiliary function, because Se doesn't necessarily mean you're automatically good at being athletic and wanting to do everything.



People who have Si can feel tied to the past, but not necessarily use it as naturally as a dominant would. NFP's tend to have the feeling of wanting comfort, while also feeling restricted by routine and procedures.



If you're an INFP it would be your inferior function, and you seem to have a desire to be better at it while feeling like your attempts at trying to use it ended in failure.



Yeah, most likely inferior.



This doesn't necessarily mean Ti, at least not dominant. N's love to learn new things, and subjective types love to learn about things they're interested in.



Could be Ti. Could be Ne. Could be both.



I'm leaning towards INFP for your typing, but you can choose to take it with a grain of salt. I think the right area to look at are the types with high feeling and intuition, since that's what you come across as the most. I do see a bit of evidence of all the functions (but only because my brain is also confusing), but the ones that fit and are explained better make most sense for INFP's stack, including Si + inferior Te.
Thank you for this typing-it’s so beautifully in depth. Honestly, I feel that is the type that encapsulates my type most. Every other personality type feels jarringly foreign and wrong. I was one of those poor souls that so desperately wanted to be an INFJ because they have divinely intriguing minds that can transform the world. But in the end, I am not a planner. I can understand glimmers of what I want in the future, but I don’t ever truly have a big picture. When I write a story I often have a general idea but the beauty is in the way it evolves, unravels, the ever changing movement. Part of me fears that I am stricken by intuitive bias. Because yes, senses are beautiful. I love the feeling of warm water, colors are enchanting, and there are aesthetics that ignite my heart. But I still am, at heart, somebody that wishes to transcend plain sight. It’s died over time but when I was little, magic hypnotized me. I loved anything outside of the realm of what I knew-I was drawn to realms beyond this one, creatures to never knew. I think that desire still lives deep down but it’s nestled in an augmented practicality. I’m willing to consider ISFP as a type but it doesn’t claw at my heart like INFP does and I’m not one to cherish the feeling of physical stimulation-maybe in moderation it can be nice, when familiar, a glimmer of freedom, but it’s not something that charts my life. In the end, I still feel pulled towards the same type. Perhaps it is my home calling me from far, far away. I truly hope that it isn’t an illusion. I just want to find my home.
 

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Yes, I can resonate a lot with what you said, and it's why I too haven't settled on any type yet despite also being into MBTI for years. If INFP feels the most fitting for you, then perhaps your feelings of the other types seeming foreign and wrong are telling you something. But from what you've written alone, I do say INFP seems pretty accurate!
 

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Going to go out on a limb and say INFP. There's a "magical" quality to your writing that I don't see in many Fe doms/auxs. Yes, the latter has feelings too but in my experience with them it's a bit more concrete, almost sensor-ish.
 

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Going to go out on a limb and say INFP. There's a "magical" quality to your writing that I don't see in many Fe doms/auxs. Yes, the latter has feelings too but in my experience with them it's a bit more concrete, almost sensor-ish.
Thank you so much-I tested very high on Fe on a quiz today and it puzzled me. Even though I can come across as harmonious and sweet on the inside inside is a tumultuous thunder whispering inside me that never fades, even as my heart closes, it shimmers inside. When I pour my heart onto the page something beautiful ignites, it is true and mine and it feels right in a world of wrongness. I'm supposing that could be my Fi...
 
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