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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've decided that since I learn more about myself through my interactions with others that it would be good idea to do another one of these to reassess my own assumptions. Plus I feel as if I am in a state of growth. The biggest problem concerning my enneagram is determining my core. From the tests my head fix and gut fix consistently come out 8 and 7, and for the most part I agree with it. My image fix on the other hand flops between 4 and 3, wings included.

Prerequisites

What age range are you in?
18-21, so young adult

Any disorders or conditions we should know about?
Nope
Main Questions

1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.
I honestly don't know. I thought my life was about pursuing my inner vision and trying to manifest my inner world, but then I realized most of the things in my inner world aren't really mine. Most of it is contrived around insecurities or things that I can't have in real life. It was only when I went after those things in real life that my inner vision started to fade. But now I am in a point of stagnation and I'm not exactly sure where to go from here. So I'm trying to substitute by at least doing something. Although my inner world comes out full circle in my writing.
2. What were you like as a kid?
Quiet. Very much to myself. I didn't really fit in with a lot of the other kids because I didn't catch on to social patterns as quickly. Plus I wasn't interested in sports like the other guys. I just wanted to play video games all day and that was good enough for me. Girls were a different story. I actually pursued the girls who intrigued me. At least until middle school when it all came down to popularity. High school was a different story I was in the marching band so I had a peer group rather early, but even so I wasn't really involved with the band and kept asking myself why the hell I was there to begin with. Other than that I was pretty uninvolved with high school too. I just didn't care. The only thing I remember from high school is all the girls who broke my heart one wary or another. Likewise the few friends I actually do still see in college.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
My relationship with my parents is a rocky one. I cut of any kind of dependence(other than finances) on them rather early and never involved them with anything that goes on with me. Even so my mom still tried to get involved with the marching band in the final years to act as if she cared although I feel like she just wanted to make herself feel important. My mom and I fight a lot. No real reason. She asks unnecessary questions and I give her straight although somewhat blunt answers. But I mean honestly what reason do you need for a child who didn't do his homework other than the fact he didn't want to. Also my mom is fairly manipulative and doesn't think I realize it, but I do she constantly makes these little comments about how I'm going to do this and that for her in the future. Which I can tell you right now isn't going to happen. I plan to travel A LOT in my adult life. And if I do settle down I doubt it will be in the U.S. Anyway my Dad and I have been for the most part fine. I didn't think anything bad of him until my mom told me how he cheated on her and how he never really spent that much time with me as a kid. Looking back... she was right. Nowadays my biggest power struggles seem to come from him. He is so easily startled that everything to him has to be a power struggle on who has authority over whom. I'm like "?". The other day I tried to show my sister how to drive (shes 12) and he said "what makes you think you have the authority teach her how to drive?", I said " I don't think I have the authority to teach her drive, I just didn't think it was a big deal". I still don't.
4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
My constant struggle has shown me two sides to me. A person who wants to be really cool and envied by everyone else. And someone who just wants to be himself. This seems to be my greatest struggle. I want to be cool, to be known by everyone, but I don't want to fake about it. However, sometimes I still end up being fake, and the worse part is I know I'm being fake. There has also been a few times where I become so focused on a goal that I want to do whatever it takes, but then I realize again I'm just being fake. I value people who can be themselves no matter what. I actually envy those people too. I also envy the people who when they want something they are already half way there getting it.

5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?
Not that I can think of.
6. a.) How do you see yourself?
cool, outspoken, laid-back, loud, moody
b.) How do you want others to see you?
unique, valuable, scary, romantic, strong, more lonely than he lets on
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people?
disrespect toward others, talking behind others back, doing something in one place or around one group of people they wouldn't do anywhere else, telling me how to act and what to value, guys who talk about women as if they were pets yet seem to attract them like crazy.

7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others. 1
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you 3
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else. 2

8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?
Neo-genesis movement, Binary code, stock exchange. Wherever... I'm the wanderering____ after all. I follow my mind, my heart, and my intuition.

9.What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I'm at best when I have positive interactions with the world. When lots of things I imagine are actually coming to fruition. I'm at my worst when I have nothing to do or a lot of options are disappearing for me. Likewise when i say or do something that hurts someone else I actually care about and its far too late to take it back.



10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
a.) anger
When someone asks me something stupid. Someone makes a big deal out of nothing. I follow someones advice and turns out to be shit. Somebody gets in my way. Someone bad mouths me way too much.
b.) shame
When I let my family down. When I feel like I'm lying to myself. When I hurt someone I care about because I said something I shouldn't have.
c.) anxiety
Having to confront someone with a problem that I caused. Asking my parents for permission to do something when I feel like I really don't need to or want to for that matter. Taking a test I'm not ready for or didn't prepare for because I thought I was ready. That I might fail a class and have to spend more time in college than I want to.
11. Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress
Get over it. Stress is good. It keeps you attuned to the intensity of a situation.
b.) negative unexpected change
Cursing, lots of shouting and cursing and getting angry with whoever is involved.
c.) conflict
Stand tall, and handle it. Almost every conflict I've been in I've started it, so I usually follow through. Most of time though I just stand up to whoever is involved until it blows over. I also learned the hard way that putting your hands on people when they get angry at you only makes it worse.

12.
a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
I don't usually play a role in a group. Most of the time I end up being lead voice, or the guy who talks most of the time. Nowadays in college I'm usually leader because I'm so good at talking to others.
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?
Fairly but solid. I tell the team what to do but not how to do it. I just think its better for the team to figure it out on their own. Plus I'm not very keen on specific orders.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?
Yes. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Most of my so called "authority figures" hold themselves in too high regards in ways that make no sense to me. Honestly I don't care if your are teacher who got their doctorate degree. You ain't a doctor. Doctors save lives and charge way too much money for checkups. Teacher teach that’s about it.

13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
The kind of image they try to portray. Mostly because I struggle with this myself. Also their true motives.

14. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I ease my way into trust. You will usually known right away whether I like you or not. I take risks and can trust immediately if it works towards my goals. But I don't trust completely. Never have and probably never will.

15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
I'm not political at all, barely religious. I think God exists, but I don't worship him. Nor do I praise him for that matter. I just think he exists. Satan too.

Optional Question (due to personal nature)

Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
???
Extra Questions

Which of the following temptations do you find yourself acting upon the most? (And briefly state why)

- To constantly push yourself to be “the best”
Like I said I want to be admired so thats why. I always get anchored back down though.
- To be without needs, well-intentioned
I don't like relying on people. I like finding my own way. Ironic since I'm writing a type me thread.
- To think that fulfillment is somewhere else
My life is kinda boring, and I feel like if the right opportunities present itself it could be better.
- To overuse imagination in searching for yourself
I have been psychoanalyzing this forever and like I said I think its because of insecurities and trying to replace things that are missing in my waking life with things I wish I had. This seems to be common for enneagram 4s.
- To consider yourself entirely self-sufficient
Again I don't like relying on people. Plus I always adopted the philosophy that if I want something I have to get it myself, no one else is going to get it for me.



Well I'm done going to sleep. If anyone has questions are wants more brief answers don't be afraid to send me a message. Also please don't view and not reply. I hate when people do that.
 

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You seem pretty clearly to be an assertive/id type. So I have a few questions.

1) Why did you title your thread "aggressor or withdrawn"?

2) Would you have a problem with being admired for being someone you're not?

3) Do you consider yourself narcissistic? If so, it might help to describe a case that demonstrates this trait.

4) Do you often find yourself seeking new opportunities? If so, what kind, and how fruitful/satisfying are these for you?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
You seem pretty clearly to be an assertive/id type. So I have a few questions.

1) Why did you title your thread "aggressor or withdrawn"?

2) Would you have a problem with being admired for being someone you're not?

3) Do you consider yourself narcissistic? If so, it might help to describe a case that demonstrates this trait.

4) Do you often find yourself seeking new opportunities? If so, what kind, and how fruitful/satisfying are these for you?
1. I was thinking my type was either 3 or 4, but in all honesty now I'm thinking along the lines of 8.

2. Yes I would. I want to be admired but I want it to be because of who I am not what I do.

3.Yeah... I'm pretty narcissistic. I like to talk about myself a lot and a lot of my family members and acquaintances call me arrogant. I don't really consider myself to be narcissistic though. Arrogant yes, but I'm not sure about narcissistic.

4. Honestly I find myself seeking new opportunities when I'm not doing something. When I feel like being involved in something I look for new opportunities. Most of the opportunities I've been looking for recently is networking, online dating and meeting new people as well as looking for employment. Oh and travel on a budget.
 

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Well, okay. You seem like you are probably either 7 or 8. I doubt your image-fix is core, though I can't really say for sure which it is at the moment from that. Depending on how innate/global the narcissism is that you have, you might be 7. It doesn't sound very clear, though it could very well be. I see moreso, based on your first post, a desire to be self-sufficient as in not relying on anyone.

I'm leaning towards 8, for reasons such as "I ease my way into trust. You will usually known right away whether I like you or not. I take risks and can trust immediately if it works towards my goals. But I don't trust completely. Never have and probably never will." This suggests to me that not allowing others have connection to you is a major issue, which in most ways is related to 8. I can't really discern further and I'm at a bit of a loss at what to ask to clarify this. You'll probably want to look more at core dynamics and the like. Dunno how well read you are on the Enneagram, but Naranjo's Character and Neurosis is a good place to read further.

 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Dunno how well read you are on the Enneagram, but Naranjo's Character and Neurosis is a good place to read further
I'm pretty well versed in enneagram and I am familiar with Naranjo's work. I listened to his whole entire seminar on enneagram. I related to both 7 narcissism and 8 anti-social tendencies. Thats why I liked his teachings the best. Instead of depicting 8 as being violent he depicted them as anti-social which actually sounds much more easier to relate to.

Is there anything I could do to nail an image fix because I've been stuck between 3 and 4 for a while. Although I relate more to 8 with a 4 fix above all else and the tritype 4-7-8 is what I self identified as. I sometimes wonder why I relate to 3.
 

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Well, basically the difference between 4 and 3 is that 3 will mold their sense of self based on what they believe to be valuable (go-getter, do what garners approval) whereas the 4 will mold their sense of self based on what they feel is their authentic self-expression. A 4 will have an ideal based on how they feel, whereas a 3 will have an ideal based on what is "the best." Roughly speaking. It can get a bit muddy from there, but that's a good place to start.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Well, basically the difference between 4 and 3 is that 3 will mold their sense of self based on what they believe to be valuable (go-getter, do what garners approval) whereas the 4 will mold their sense of self based on what they feel is their authentic self-expression. A 4 will have an ideal based on how they feel, whereas a 3 will have an ideal based on what is "the best." Roughly speaking. It can get a bit muddy from there, but that's a good place to start.
Alright thanks, I'm still gonna go with 4 though.
 

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Interesting thing that most people miss about 8s....they aren't always 'on'. Brooding is a strong and often missed aspect of the 8 character. If you've got 4 in the fix, it will be accentuated. You sound like an sp firster, hence the withdrawn musings. Do you associate with the do it & don't not talk about it? The lion that hunts when he needs to and sleeps the rest of the day...That's sp 8.

And you don't have a 3 fix. Based off my experience, all 3 fixers care about sport/competition. Authenticity matters more to you, not fitting in for the sake of it.
 

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Interesting thing that most people miss about 8s....they aren't always 'on'. Brooding is a strong and often missed aspect of the 8 character. If you've got 4 in the fix, it will be accentuated. You sound like an sp firster, hence the withdrawn musings. Do you associate with the do it & don't not talk about it? The lion that hunts when he needs to and sleeps the rest of the day...That's sp 8.
And you don't have a 3 fix. Based off my experience, all 3 fixers care about sport/competition. Authenticity matters more to you, not fitting in for the sake of it.
according you this, I couldn't possibly be a 3 fixer XD
@The Wanderering ______
I'm seeing 3w4>8w7>6w5 Sx/Sp
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Interesting thing that most people miss about 8s....they aren't always 'on'. Brooding is a strong and often missed aspect of the 8 character. If you've got 4 in the fix, it will be accentuated. You sound like an sp firster, hence the withdrawn musings. Do you associate with the do it & don't not talk about it? The lion that hunts when he needs to and sleeps the rest of the day...That's sp 8.
You mean do something... and tell everyone about it? Well Sometimes, but not all the time. I like to be noticed when I do something people might look up to me for, but I also liked to be noticed when I do something outlandish.

And you don't have a 3 fix. Based off my experience, all 3 fixers care about sport/competition. Authenticity matters more to you, not fitting in for the sake of it.
Yea, but I do like to talk about myself. I also like when typology, astrology or some type of media talks about some aspect of myself.
 

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The 3 and the 8 is fine, but where do you see the 6 at? I always thought of myself as more 5 or 7 for head fix.
I'll admit, the head fix was the one I was least certain of. I'm not really sure to be honest

as for 3w4>8, you seem more sensitive, withdrawn, image conscious and wanting to be envied to be an 8. however you're more proactive and less defeatist than a core 4.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
as for 3w4>8, you seem more sensitive, withdrawn, image conscious and wanting to be envied to be an 8. however you're more proactive and less defeatist than a core 4.
I always thought of myself as 4w3 for image, but I think the biggest reason is because to some extent I wanted to feel special among the ENTPs and 4s are uncommon for ENTPs. Also if I am a 3, I am perhaps the most self-conscious 3 I have ever met armed with a self-awareness that I think borders more in 4 territory.
 

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I always thought of myself as 4w3 for image, but I think the biggest reason is because to some extent I wanted to feel special among the ENTPs and 4s are uncommon for ENTPs.
understandable. 4w3 isn't off the table just yet. overall, do you see yourself as more reactive or restrained/self controlled?

ordinarily, when comparing 3 and 4, 3 is typically the more gregarious type and 4 the more withdrawn, but, in the case of 3w4 vs 4w3, this is often the opposite. you seem like primarily a go got'em type, even though you come off as more withdrawn, buy I think it's more 3w4's tendency to hide the more ugly, vulnerable, sensitive side that the 4 wing brings them. 4s are in the reactive triad, often prone to explosive bouts of anger or frustration. 3w4 is in the competency triad. as such, they're more self controlled, restrained and more likely to put their best foot forward. in the case of the 3w4, the 4 wing is their other foot.

however, my knowledge of 4s is somewhat limited, you might want to ask @Boss, on her take.

Also if I am a 3, I am perhaps the most self-conscious 3 I have ever met armed with a self-awareness that I think borders more in 4 territory.
- 3s are typically a very self conscious type
- 3s with a strong 4 wing are often interested in self awareness
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
understandable. 4w3 isn't off the table just yet. overall, do you see yourself as more reactive or restrained/self controlled?
On an average I'm pretty calm. I can get riled about stuff when I want to and I almost never do things I don't want to do. If I'm in the moment and I feel like having fun then I have fun. But the biggest problem I have with my image fix is I'm not sure about my emotions. The only time I ever get reactive is when I think someone I like doesn't like me back, when I feel like I'm going to let my family down, and when I force myself out of my comfort zone. The biggest thing that drove me to enneagram 4 was the fact that I have a large inner world and everything in it is comprised of things I don't have in real life. True love, absolute freedom, fantastical adventure,etc and the fact that I sometimes feel super intense emotions based on imaginings of my inner world. The other thing that drove me to 4 was that I'm not afraid to talk about my faults. When I went on a date recently I told her how I used to have terrible social anxiety in high school and she was like " I would have never guessed because you seem so confident". I just can't see a 3 being so open about their flaws and being uncareful with their image.

you seem like primarily a go got'em type, even though you come off as more withdrawn
I think my tritype is some combination of 478. At some point I thought 845 because it explained the confidence alongside withdrawn tendencies, but I felt in the long run that my head fix was more 7 than 5. I don't really like tritype descriptions because they seem so limiting ,but the 478 "Outside you act confident but inside you are emotionally vulnerable" really resonated with me from what I read.
 
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