Personality Cafe banner
1 - 5 of 5 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
38 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
A little background:

I am a 26 year old male ESFJ. I have taken the Myers Brigg test about 5 times. Three times I have been listed as an ESFJ and twice I have been listed as an ISFJ. From reading multiple sources though I believe I am closer to an ESFJ. But the strange thing is I love being alone sometimes and find myself doing it a lot. But I believe my natural tendency is to be around people! I graduated from college back in 2009 with a Business Administration - Management degree. Even during college I wasn't sure what I wanted to do and I still feel like I don't...I was afraid of this! My dad works in business and my older brother went to school for Marketing. He decided marketing wasn't for him and is now doing Physical Therapy. The only personality type I know from my family is my mom who is an ISFJ and she was a Dental Hygienist for several years.

Once I graduated from college in 2009 I immediately got a job working for a small bookstore/health foodstore as the Assistant Manager. People say I am very good with people and I do find it easy to talk to complete strangers. I am still with the job and have been here 4 years now. I'm not sure what my boss's personality type is but I know it's the type that the ESFJ can't stand working for. There are some things I like about the job but other things I absolutely can not stand. I do not like financials or figuring out new ideas for the store but I am ok with some accounting work. But since I am a people person I am not really sure if I see myself doing accounting for a career. I do a lot of purchasing food for the store, shipping, deposits, inventory, etc. which I am ok with and do enjoy on occasions. I find myself really liking jobs that aren't overcomplicated or that I can master so I always feel like I am doing a good job. I have been looking for several years to get a new job but haven't had any success. As I look for a new job I am not questioning what I should do with my career. When people ask me what I want to do I have no idea how to answer. I feel so lost and I hate it!

There have always been some career choices that interest me like Law, History, Psychology, Human Resources, Occupational Therapy, etc. but I have no idea. I'm not sure if I should stick with business and go back to school for my MBA but if I do...I have no idea what field to go into. Maybe Hospital Administration? I remember working for the YMCA one summer as a Camp Counselor working with 5 and 6 year olds. It was something I always remembering enjoying but wasn't sure if I should make a career with children. I also started a Big Brother Big Sister Club at my school and I participated in the program. I feel so frustrated because I feel I am running out of time especially if I was to completely switch careers and go into Health Care or something. I know ESFJ's have been known for going into a Counselor position but I have no idea what I would do with that or if the money would be enough. It's not all about money for me but whatever career I go into I want to make sure I am making enough money to get by, ya know?

I have been dating a girl for almost a year who is an ISFJ. Yeah, definitely not supposed to be compatible based off what the websites say but we are doing awesome together. We have learned with our personality types how to communicate and we are very much in love! She just start attending medical school out in California and I live in Tennessee. That means she will be there 4 years and we are very much wanting to keep the relationship going. So since I have been looking for a new job I have started looking out in her area with no results. Just frustrating because I'm not sure what career direction I want to go. As a man, etc. if we were to make this long-term I would drive myself nuts if I didn't feel like I had my career choice nailed down and something solid to support her with if we got married. Because she could end up being a Pediatrician and I feel lost!

Whew. Just wanted to maybe get advice, have people listen, etc. Thank you and any direction maybe you could give me with my career would be extremely helpful. Any help from other Male ESFJ's would be helpful as well! I have taken numerous career tests, etc. over the years with it not seeming to give me a clear indication. I know ESFJ's mostly go into teaching but I am just not sure if I see myself doing that.

If you would like any other information to help please just ask!

Thanks everyone!
 

·
MOTM August 2012
Joined
·
3,467 Posts
There's a lot of advice out there on career choice, this honestly isn't the best place for it (in part because a lot of people on this site are younger than you which doesn't help).

But from the looks of it you haven't done a lot of self-examination. Everything you mention is very environmental. Things other people have said you should do. Or what the test says and so on. I think before you can make a good decision, you have to understand who you are on the inside (not as easy as it sounds).

What are your ultimate goals in life? What would you like to accomplish? Who do you ultimately see yourself as being? Do you have any skills? Do you have any hobbies? Could you convert a hobby into a profession? If you were to die today, what would your mark on the world have been? If you struggle with this sort of basic identity questions picking a proper career is pretty much out of the question. You will flail around until you hope to accidentally stumble upon something that fits.

Too often people get caught up in really intangible goals like "making money" (how much is enough?) or "being successful" (as compared to what?), or being "happy" (which assumes they are currently not happy). A lot of people talk like this but there is no roadmap to happiness or success, despite all the formula books out there that say there is. For every person that says "the key to success is hard work" there are ten others like Napoleon Hill and Neville Goddard who vehemently disagreed with that and said hard work is just hard work. So you have to figure out what drives or inspires you. Don't worry about trying to make 'the right' decision, just a decision which will have the most number of favorable outcomes. You will never know if a decision is truly right or wrong because that would require an objective perspective, but you can limit negative consequences of a choice. Spending your life trying to be 'right' is a waste of energy and no one will come down at the end of your journey tap you on your head and say "congratulations you did the right thing." Besides many a person has done great evil in the name of being 'right'.

I think for you, you need to spend sometime thinking about concrete goals. Things you can actually accomplish. Not "making enough money to get by" because how much money is that? If you're a monk that could be almost no money. If you're an entrepreneur it might be in the millions. Do some introspection. Write down some goals. Ask friends and family what they think your strengths are if you can't seem to figure it out. Do some more introspecting (I keep hitting on that because extraverts in general have a hard time with it, choosing rather to spend their time thinking about stuff around them rather than themselves). And along the way you may discover something (the seeds of which have likely already been planted somewhere in your life) that will fulfill whatever life's mission you happen to decide upon. Good luck.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
38 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
There's a lot of advice out there on career choice, this honestly isn't the best place for it (in part because a lot of people on this site are younger than you which doesn't help).

But from the looks of it you haven't done a lot of self-examination. Everything you mention is very environmental. Things other people have said you should do. Or what the test says and so on. I think before you can make a good decision, you have to understand who you are on the inside (not as easy as it sounds).

What are your ultimate goals in life? What would you like to accomplish? Who do you ultimately see yourself as being? Do you have any skills? Do you have any hobbies? Could you convert a hobby into a profession? If you were to die today, what would your mark on the world have been? If you struggle with this sort of basic identity questions picking a proper career is pretty much out of the question. You will flail around until you hope to accidentally stumble upon something that fits.

Too often people get caught up in really intangible goals like "making money" (how much is enough?) or "being successful" (as compared to what?), or being "happy" (which assumes they are currently not happy). A lot of people talk like this but there is no roadmap to happiness or success, despite all the formula books out there that say there is. For every person that says "the key to success is hard work" there are ten others like Napoleon Hill and Neville Goddard who vehemently disagreed with that and said hard work is just hard work. So you have to figure out what drives or inspires you. Don't worry about trying to make 'the right' decision, just a decision which will have the most number of favorable outcomes. You will never know if a decision is truly right or wrong because that would require an objective perspective, but you can limit negative consequences of a choice. Spending your life trying to be 'right' is a waste of energy and no one will come down at the end of your journey tap you on your head and say "congratulations you did the right thing." Besides many a person has done great evil in the name of being 'right'.

I think for you, you need to spend sometime thinking about concrete goals. Things you can actually accomplish. Not "making enough money to get by" because how much money is that? If you're a monk that could be almost no money. If you're an entrepreneur it might be in the millions. Do some introspection. Write down some goals. Ask friends and family what they think your strengths are if you can't seem to figure it out. Do some more introspecting (I keep hitting on that because extraverts in general have a hard time with it, choosing rather to spend their time thinking about stuff around them rather than themselves). And along the way you may discover something (the seeds of which have likely already been planted somewhere in your life) that will fulfill whatever life's mission you happen to decide upon. Good luck.

That's very good advice! Unfortunately I am so confused and undecided I don't know what I should do...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
430 Posts
Do you have the opportunity to go to college? The first year and a half of college is typically just general education classes. During that you can narrow down your interests while learning about other subjects your not familiar with. Personality-wise from your description it sounds like you might enjoy public relations, journalism, counseling or teaching. I think my sister is and ESFJ and she's been working in non-profit with a degree in journalism.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
49 Posts
If you love working with people, are extremely motivated, and can get things done/close a deal, this might be for you. My mother (a super ESFJ) has been working with this company for almost 2 years now and loves the connections she makes with the local people/business owners. My mother sells payment processing systems to businesses that are being charged 5%+ interest for each transaction they make. More often than not, people love her because she is literally saving them thousands of dollars per year with Heartlands extremely low rates of interest on their systems. I'll put a link below if sales might interest you and you can explore the site. It's a business where you never have to plateau, you can only improve. I'm quite jealous of her ability to work a job like this quite honestly, but I know I wouldn't have it in me personally to meet so many people and drive around town so often.
Payments Processing, Payroll Services, Loyalty Marketing solutions, and more - Heartland Payment Systems
She tells me the best part about her job is that she doesn't feel like she's selling people a product. She feels as if she's just helping them out with their business. In any case, best of luck to ya! I can give you her email address if you wanted to ask her any questions about it after looking at the site. Just pm me or something on this site. I can't guarantee she'd respond, but it'd be worth a try. If you make the title something along the lines of "Interested in Heartland" I'm sure she'd respond.
 
1 - 5 of 5 Posts
Top