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I have been experiencing a social pattern for quite some time in my life...Maybe some of you can relate or offer some explanation. I tend to encounter many Alpha type females (aka queen bees). These women seem cool at first, friendly and inclusive, but somehow they start to try and dominate me, either with know-it-all behavior, accepting compliments, but never saying anything supportive (just criticisms), wanting to always be the plan maker, controlling behavior, etc.
This is when I naturally start to assert myself (having an ESTP dad trained me for this); I stop being supportive if I don't feel I'm getting that back. I won't follow their plans if they can't bring themselves to ever follow mine. It is at this point that the 'friend' distances themselves from me and becomes cold and weird. These queen bees do seem to be pretty popular and this makes me wonder if I'm the only one to witness their 'dark' side.
So it's not that I don't have close friends and family to keep me company, but I'm tired of all these alpha type women who can't seem to take a strong INFP female. They want so badly to dominate me, I won't let them and then that's it. I get the cold shoulder. Sometimes I can even see a mean expression flash upon their face like they want to attack, but they hold themselves back and put on a pleasant and fake smile.
I guess I'm making this post because the advice for dealing with bullies is to learn how to be assertive. But what if you already know how to be assertive and this just pushes all these dominant people away? That's not necessarily what I want. I guess I have to accept that not everyone is friend material, but that seems somewhat hopeless. I think our society favors 'leadership skills' and so people who are dominant never learn how to temper their desires to control. They are very proud of themselves and don't see any reason to ever change. I don't know what they think of me, but I know they dislike me even if I've been nothing but pleasant and kind to them.
 

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I consider myself more of an Alpha type myself, but I'm an INFP and a male so that may not be as useful to you. Nonetheless, I have picked on people in the distant past and nowadays I'm slightly antagonistic with rival males (guys near the same level of social standing or influence).

In guy world, we'll generally always pick on one another to offset any potential negative criticism against themselves. The less negative attention they have on themselves, the more powerful, perfect, whatever you want to call it, they will appear to others. While we all throw little jabs here and there, one person will inevitably overpower the other. Around this time, other people will join the fray, but take a smaller amount of spoils from the war. The 'alpha' in the scenario will gain more overall prestige. In the end, the defeated party takes the biggest hit while everyone else grows a bit more around them.

What type of people get picked on?
- Generally the people with false hubris. Sometimes people who are down on themselves do a complete 180 with their personality and it turns from a form of depression to an outward display of superiority -- meaning they're likely still down on themselves, but tuck it away. To put this another way, this is like a somewhat unattractive girl acting like she's Miss Universe. Everyone thinks you're kidding yourself and will try to rip off your fake mask as soon as possible. Confidence is something everyone respects, but being delusional just means you're crazy.

- Next, people that may be considered rivals. Many people, particularly women, hatee to be compared to one another. Lots of people that get bullied seem to think that it only happens to them because they're less socially popular or attractive, and maybe that's partly right. However, I will straight up tell you that even in the world of popular people, there is far more drama than anything you can imagine. I know some of the most smoking girls that are only shallow in regards to their own looks (spend too much time in the mirror), but they're total sweethearts to everyone else. Yet, for some reason, other women will always go out of their way to start shit. Naturally, those other women have boyfriends and then it just gets worse and worse.

Anyways, I could keep going, but I'm getting sleepy :D. So I'll wrap it up

How do you generally stop bullying?
- You genuinely learn to not let things phase you. You brush off whatever everyone says to you like it doesn't matter, but try not to do it in an arrogant way like the false hubris I mentioned earlier. Like others, I' had my share of being on the receiving end of bullying as well (mainly in the earlier life) and all I had to do was respond in a way that brushed them off. "Oh ya?" "You think so?" "Haha, you might be right!" then follow up with getting back to whatever you're doing. This generally deflates anyone trying to pick on you (note; not always applicable in extreme bullying situations). Sometimes I'd follow up with a -very- light jab back and they sometimes start to respect you more from there.

How well has this all worked for me? Well, I could kick it with the jocks and even the most hardcore druggiie / gang members in school. I basically became somebody who was cool with everyone.

Ok, I probably made less sense in the latter portions of all that, but I think you may get the gist of it. I must sleeeep for now~

Thanks for sharing yourself, by the way.
 
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I have been experiencing a social pattern for quite some time in my life...Maybe some of you can relate or offer some explanation. I tend to encounter many Alpha type females (aka queen bees). These women seem cool at first, friendly and inclusive, but somehow they start to try and dominate me, either with know-it-all behavior, accepting compliments, but never saying anything supportive (just criticisms), wanting to always be the plan maker, controlling behavior, etc.
This is when I naturally start to assert myself (having an ESTP dad trained me for this); I stop being supportive if I don't feel I'm getting that back. I won't follow their plans if they can't bring themselves to ever follow mine. It is at this point that the 'friend' distances themselves from me and becomes cold and weird. These queen bees do seem to be pretty popular and this makes me wonder if I'm the only one to witness their 'dark' side.
So it's not that I don't have close friends and family to keep me company, but I'm tired of all these alpha type women who can't seem to take a strong INFP female. They want so badly to dominate me, I won't let them and then that's it. I get the cold shoulder. Sometimes I can even see a mean expression flash upon their face like they want to attack, but they hold themselves back and put on a pleasant and fake smile.
I guess I'm making this post because the advice for dealing with bullies is to learn how to be assertive. But what if you already know how to be assertive and this just pushes all these dominant people away? That's not necessarily what I want. I guess I have to accept that not everyone is friend material, but that seems somewhat hopeless. I think our society favors 'leadership skills' and so people who are dominant never learn how to temper their desires to control. They are very proud of themselves and don't see any reason to ever change. I don't know what they think of me, but I know they dislike me even if I've been nothing but pleasant and kind to them.
Yhea seems to be going around, Extroverts seem to try and dominate Introverts, I'm from the US and the whole caveman mentallity seems to be considered proper etiquette. The worst part of being an Introvert for me is not having the energy to deal with their crap. I think as Introverts we are very critical of ourselves so we tend to be overly aware of how we conduct ourselves and act towards our friends, but Extroverts for lack of a better expression...........think that their shit does not stink.
 
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