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Discussion Starter #1
Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
Acceptance, Admiration, Connection, Truth and love without pretense

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
I want to be happy and utilize my skills and strengths to my best ability. I want to have a niche, a specialty, something that will draw people to me, that they will trust in my skills and talents. I want to make others believe in themselves also. I want true, pure and meaningful connections with others.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I don't want to be clingy or needy, I don't want to hurt others or bring them down, I don't want to be cruel and I hate being misunderstood. However, honesty is basically the most important thing to me.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Being forever alone, being considered unintelligent or uninteresting, being dishonest, being rejected.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
Strong, put together, honest, mysterious, clever and witty. I see myself as scared and vulnerable, but with the ability to do many things, very self-aware and controlled to a fault.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel my best when I finish a project, when I put my heart and soul into something and I am happy with the results (because I'm so rarely happy with the results). When I've accomplished something meaningful for myself or others. Or I suppose when I'm first in love.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a. I either leave the situation and mull over my thoughts for a day or I complain to someone close. I rarely explode.
b. Shame, I would probably become very quiet and sort of sink into myself.
c. It is something that I rarely don't feel, so I am rather used to it. Sometimes when I feel uncomfortable I have little nervous ticks, like fidgeting with things or tapping my phone screen or something.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a. Stress causes me to withdrawal from the world, fall into bouts of escapism. Avoid, become depressed, long to do crazy and unexpected things. Become bitter and snappy. etc. etc.
b. Unexpected change, I don't like. Expected change, I will have anxiety about it. But I know I need it.
c. My initial instinct is to get away from conflict, but the emotional toll it takes provokes me into confrontation. I know that avoiding a conflict only makes things worse.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a. I am slightly adverse to authority, unless I really respect the authority figure. I am very sensitive to corrupt authority figures and people who attempt to control and manipulate weaker parties.
b. Power....see above.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

It's all about the middle. People live too much in extremes. The world isn't all good, but it certainly isn't all bad. It irritates me when people say things like "Life sucks"....parts of it do, of course they do! But some things are great too, you just aren't looking for them.
 
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Discussion Starter #2
Personally, I believe I have a 1 and a 6 as my body and head types, but I'm not sure on the wings, and I am not sure on my image type/order/or the wings.

If you agree, disagree, or have any questions please let me know.

Out of the heart types I relate to aspects of 4w3 in many ways, but I am not ostentatious or showy, but also aspects of 2w1, but I am not very service oriented or comfortable with always being behind the scenes, and would rather face the truth of a situation than try to maintain an ideal harmony.
 

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5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
Strong, put together, honest, mysterious, clever and witty. I see myself as scared and vulnerable, but with the ability to do many things, very self-aware and controlled to a fault.
Can you explain this to a greater extent? Are they not the same because you want people to see different than you see yourself?
 

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Discussion Starter #6
6w7 core, with 3 heart fix:)

In which ways do you identify with type 1? You mention being controlled. Could you share why you're very "controlled"? What do you feel the need to control most?
I struggle with OCD and there is a sense of scrupulosity that I struggle with very often. I have very strong moral standards. The idea that I relate to in the four the most is the desire for authenticity, however this could have something to do with a 6. But I'm very keen on honesty because it is a moral issue that I see as hugely important. I have had a hard time determining whether or not this is a part of me or if it can be attributed to the OCD, because growing up I was a huge liar, so now I'm incredibly sensitive to it. I'm a moral perfectionist, and I fear being "bad" or "evil" even though the terms are subjective, the scrupulosity has a lot to do with performing useless compulsions to negate that fear of being "bad" as my mind has chosen to define it.
 
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Can you explain this to a greater extent? Are they not the same because you want people to see different than you see yourself?
Yes to some extent, in a sense that I don't always feel comfortable with my vulnerability, unless I feel that exposing it will somehow lead to a greater truth. Strength and composure and a calm and collected manner are things I find very attractive and therefore I access and put forth those parts of myself.
 
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Well, you are almost certainly a core 6.
6w7 core, with 3 heart fix:)

In which ways do you identify with type 1? You mention being controlled. Could you share why you're very "controlled"? What do you feel the need to control most?
I don't doubt you guys, but how are you certain of this? She didn't match up correctly with a 3w2, but I couldn't place her in the 6 type with evidence. How did you?
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I don't doubt you guys, but how are you certain of this? She didn't match up correctly with a 3w2, but I couldn't place her in the 6 type with evidence. How did you?
What would you think, then? I am comfortable with that analysis because I had actually come to the conclusion myself before I was on here, as I related most with the 6w7 type (SX variant) and am at least convinced it is present in my tritype. I wanted to gather other opinions before I was willing to commit, however. I don't want to undermine my credibility by changing my enneagram type too many times so I'm taking it slow.

If you have another thought or have any more questions please let me know.
 
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Discussion Starter #10
6w7 core, with 3 heart fix:)

In which ways do you identify with type 1? You mention being controlled. Could you share why you're very "controlled"? What do you feel the need to control most?
I missed your question about control the first time around, I used to try and control circumstances until I realized that was impossible and unstable. So I turned the control on myself, attempting to convey an ideal image outwardly, and limiting myself on what I would expose in order to reinforce that ideal. I control my emotions "to a fault" as a friend once said.
 

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What would you think, then? I am comfortable with that analysis because I had actually come to the conclusion myself before I was on here, as I related most with the 6w7 type (SX variant) and am at least convinced it is present in my tritype. I wanted to gather other opinions before I was willing to commit, however. I don't want to undermine my credibility by changing my enneagram type too many times so I'm taking it slow.

If you have another thought or have any more questions please let me know.
I was looking at 6 because many others didn't match up, so I asked others in my previous message.
 

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I agree with your self analysis. Main type 6w7 and followed by 1w2 the remaining type is less discernible. I think either 2 or 4, but I am not so sure. Why did you believe you could be a 4?
 

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I agree with your self analysis. Main type 6w7 and followed by 1w2 the remaining type is less discernible. I think either 2 or 4, but I am not so sure. Why did you believe you could be a 4?
I have both tendencies. I'm not very service or family oriented, although I love my family of course and get passionate about causes that I'm involved in. I've definitely felt strange/alien my whole life, which could be accounted for by the 6, but as for the 612 combination, I can't relate to it, nor can I relate to the 613. I'm actually really confused as to what in the four I was relating to that wasn't actually the six.

I do know that I wish to be kind to others and I can be pretty giving.....I have a lot of love for specific people in my life who I consider important to me, and I have a lot of empathy/compassion, so much so that I'm fairly sure I'm a Highly sensitive person. Art makes me feel better, it's one of the few things within myself that can dull out everything else.

Overall, I think what I most relate to in the four is the artistic tendency, the deep sensitivity, the desire to be special and the craving for the unexposed and authentic. To strip things bare. Once again though, it seems like those things could be defined by six too and I'm sort of confused about the differences. I'm less prone to depression and morbidity than the average four unless it's fueled by anxiety.

The two, I also relate to, I like to give to others, but not to everyone as I already said, and I am more sure of myself (although infrequently) than a four, and in that way I'm like a two. I also have a fear of being alone in the long term and do occasionally feel that others haven't reciprocated my kindness which makes me feel bitter. I have a tendency to "choose" people that I admire to give to and expect them to reciprocate because they should be "honored" that I chose them to be an intimate.
 

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Here's a very informative post on the core drives and concerns of Type 4:

Yes, the 4's identity issues are not about who they are at core. Their identity seeking is about looking for external manifestations that suit their idea of their authentic self, not trying to figure out their authentic self. Like all types, they are actually out of touch with their true self due to their ego running the show, but the 4 doesn't experience it that way. They feel they know who they are in the most fundamental sense, they just may not know how to be that in a real world way. They will find their authentic self when they accept it has its own value & they don't need to be different to be valuable. What's shed then is a sense of worthlessness more so than doubt.



What the 4 feels is missing is not a knowing of who they are, it's a sense of VALUE. Others have it easier = others are inherently more valuable than me, have an easier time finding their niche in life because they aren't defective, etc. At the same time, the 4 uses this sense of being different & defective to set themselves apart - they establish their worth based on their differences by spinning it as "special" or "too hard for others to grasp" which is elitism.

The 4s identity issues revolve seeking to establish an identity in REALITY that is a reflection of a fantasy one that they see as their true identity. The 4 will feel they know themselves extremely well, and because of the tendency to swim around in their feelings, they tend to be genuinely self-aware. However, this only adds to their awareness that they are not living up to their true self, which is the fantasy self. They see every flaw & failure. This, however, often simply becomes another way to distinguish themselves, as mentioned above. It creates a vicious cycle of shame & hiding from the reality of life & other people that may expose their defectiveness.

The doubt over identity comes in when the gap between reality & fantasy is so wide that the fantasy crumbles in the face of reality. They have to come to terms with who they are in action, not just in their head. 4s have a hard time letting go of their fantasy identity because without it, then they don't know who they are in terms of value - what makes them worth something, mainly in relation to their inner ideals. They may realize they are not so special, but rather ordinary which = boring which = worthless, and that will send them into a tailspin. They'll avoid this by just avoiding people & life, so they can live in the fantasy.

I once had a thought cross my mind that haunted me for awhile - it was that I was blank & had no personality. It wasn't about not knowing who I was, it was about not being anything at all, just being so bland and so invisible and having nothing to put out into the world, so that I pretty much had no significant identity. I felt this obstacle between my inner self & how I am in reality as insurmountable, so that I felt in order to come to terms with reality, I'd have to betray who I feel I am at core, and that would leave me with nothing, or nothing significant or valuable. Anyhow, this "I am nothing, no one, have no meaning in life & have just been deluding myself" crisis hits me every few years or so.

So the bottom line for 4s & their identity issues is not doubt over who they are, but over what they are worth. The heart triad is about self-worth - shame is the main drive for 2, 3 & 4s, but how they deal with this false belief of being worthless varies in the kind of image they create that asserts their worth (2s feel valuable when being needed/admired/influential, 3s feel value from their achievements/successes/impressiveness, and 4s in creating a distinct identity that distinguishes them from others).

Personally, I don't feel anxious over who I am, I feel embarrassment, like it's not good enough, especially when it does not live up to my fantasy self (who I always see as the "real me"). I don't doubt my identity, I doubt that it's worth anything, that there's nothing special about me to counteract what seems so very wrong about me compared to others. I don't fear not knowing who to trust, I fear being worthless & defective, and I deal with that by noting how I am different from others, which makes me feel unique, which has a kind of value to it, even as it may alienate me and leave me unhappy.
 

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I have both tendencies. I'm not very service or family oriented, although I love my family of course and get passionate about causes that I'm involved in. I've definitely felt strange/alien my whole life, which could be accounted for by the 6, but as for the 612 combination, I can't relate to it, nor can I relate to the 613. I'm actually really confused as to what in the four I was relating to that wasn't actually the six.

I do know that I wish to be kind to others and I can be pretty giving.....I have a lot of love for specific people in my life who I consider important to me, and I have a lot of empathy/compassion, so much so that I'm fairly sure I'm a Highly sensitive person. Art makes me feel better, it's one of the few things within myself that can dull out everything else.

Overall, I think what I most relate to in the four is the artistic tendency, the deep sensitivity, the desire to be special and the craving for the unexposed and authentic. To strip things bare. Once again though, it seems like those things could be defined by six too and I'm sort of confused about the differences. I'm less prone to depression and morbidity than the average four unless it's fueled by anxiety.

The two, I also relate to, I like to give to others, but not to everyone as I already said, and I am more sure of myself (although infrequently) than a four, and in that way I'm like a two. I also have a fear of being alone in the long term and do occasionally feel that others haven't reciprocated my kindness which makes me feel bitter. I have a tendency to "choose" people that I admire to give to and expect them to reciprocate because they should be "honored" that I chose them to be an intimate.
I still can't think of a concrete assessment that wouldn't be biased by stereotypical tendencies of both the 2 and 4. Perhaps if you focus on the more divous side of the types you might recognize which one best represents you. 2's can be unwittingly manipulative to those that they help, often they might expect others to reciprocate, without taking inconvenient circumstances. The pleasant feeling of giving can be an extension of thinking that the emotional investment in the person who was benefited will pay off in the future. The four also have a tendency to be threatened by other's originality, because it makes them feel ordinary in comparison; they might gainsay the attributes of others that they wish they had. These descriptions are meant to portray unhealthy expressions of each type, not the common one.

Don't worry about the tritype descriptions; they are not as accurate as the rest of the theory, not yet anyways. Also perhaps your image type is not relevant at this stage. Maybe you need line your thoughts and actions with the first two types and then decide which way you want to expand into the third dimension.
 

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Here's a very informative post on the core drives and concerns of Type 4:
Yes, there is a four in there. I'm pretty convinced now....my reaction to the word ordinary was enough to convince me. In a way feeling like an outsider has become a part of my identity because it acts as justification for why I never quite felt like I fit anywhere.

I dealt with a lot of rejection growing up, from peer group after peer group, year after year, and I believe in some ways I always felt like there was something innately wrong with me through reinforcement of that treatment from peers being called "weird" etc.

Which lead me eventually to think, I must be special, because in order to experience this much pain and hardship that I must have something really special to offer to balance things out. When I feel overlooked I feel as though my worth should be in question.

I always feel like there is something that I'm not doing quite right that makes people dislike me. Once I get to the point where I start feeling this way I begin to feel helpless, like I just want someone to tell me what it is I'm doing wrong so I can fix it.
 
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I still can't think of a concrete assessment that wouldn't be biased by stereotypical tendencies of both the 2 and 4. Perhaps if you focus on the more divous side of the types you might recognize which one best represents you. 2's can be unwittingly manipulative to those that they help, often they might expect others to reciprocate, without taking inconvenient circumstances. The pleasant feeling of giving can be an extension of thinking that the emotional investment in the person who was benefited will pay off in the future. The four also have a tendency to be threatened by other's originality, because it makes them feel ordinary in comparison; they might gainsay the attributes of others that they wish they had. These descriptions are meant to portray unhealthy expressions of each type, not the common one.

Don't worry about the tritype descriptions; they are not as accurate as the rest of the theory, not yet anyways. Also perhaps your image type is not relevant at this stage. Maybe you need line your thoughts and actions with the first two types and then decide which way you want to expand into the third dimension.
True, thanks for the careful analysis. I agree that the type descriptions can be misleading, for instance, the four says that type fours have an aversion to normalcy because it makes them feel something is missing. However, what if you flipped it the other way? What if you have an aversion to elitism because elitists have an annoying aversion to normalcy and "normal" people don't really seem to care all that much.

Truthfully, I never really felt like I fit in with normal people, but I never really fit in with the elitist types either. I always felt I was somewhere else, a different type all together. I actually flipped it backwards and it's elitists I have problems with because "normal" people are often ignorant to these superiority complexes otherwise they would be elitists themselves.

Anyways, all that being said.....I think I'm a bit of an elitist myself, I just took it to a third dimension. :tongue:
 
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