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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Tested as both, and could see myself as both (though currently leaning toward the former) but it seems I am nowhere near as action-oriented and ambitious as 3s apparently are (the grandiose success fantasies stay confined within my imagination). I've never been too concerned with "individuality" like 4s either, unless my desire to be recognized and appreciated stems from this. Either way, I've had a history of letting external standards make my decisions for me, such as deciding which movies to watch based on their Rotten Tomatoes scores, attempting to listen all the way through to a playlist of the Billboard Hot 100 as part of some grandiose strategy to be more in tune with society, picking my college because it had the highest US News rank of those I could get accepted to, etc.

So I figure a questionnaire with feedback may help me decide.


Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I have a bizarre obsession with free time and fun. I've yet to really find a passion that I can pursue that leaves me not caring about free time away from it. I think my occasional preoccupation with material success stems from my desire for eventual eternal free time. I don't even really know anymore.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
In a "kidding but not kidding" manner, I hope to do something notorious enough that leads someone else to make me a Wikipedia page. More specifically or seriously speaking, my dream job would be for me to be either a comedic and/or voice actor, a rapper (I've secretly been writing stuff) or some sort of successful entrepreneur.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
Being average, without a spouse, never making more money than my parents, or making my living in an unethical manner. My biggest values are honesty, competence and fairness.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Social anxiety, because I tend to seek external validation far too much and thus depend on it. A fear that I will never develop any relevant talents or skills. A fear that I will always be inferior to others in most areas of my life. A fear that I am physically unattractive or unintelligent.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I want others to see me as important, yet on their level. I should add that I don't approach these slightly narcissistic desires as wanting to be "above" everyone else; because I don't view most other people with scorn; but rather on the same level as everyone else, just more perfected. I want to achieve an ideal self image and inspire others to do the same. That being said, if someone else were to surpass me I probably wouldn't take it very well. I see myself as having potential to achieve this but I'm not quite there.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Admiration from others, a lack of stress/obligations, and coming up with a good idea are all hallmarks of a good day for me. Feeling rejected, being unable to exercise any talents/skills, and too many commitments all make me feel awful.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
People who are just getting to know me often remark that I'm "chill" but the fact of the matter is I get pretty easily angered. I just have a tendency to bottle it all up (due to fear of conflict/a negative image) until I can't take it anymore. Then
it can get quite explosive, leading me to shake and speak before thinking. Shame isn't something I handle well either; I am very easily ashamed and will often go far out of my way to avoid situations that previously triggered that shame. I'll usually act very clammish around/avoid eye contact with those who witnessed me in my shameful situation until it's clear I still have their approval. As for anxiety, I have quite a bit of social anxiety, as well as sporadic fear of the future, but I've never had a "panic attack" or anything similar. I read through a little bit of The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook as recommended by a school psychiatrist and couldn't relate to much of it, other than the bits about social anxiety and negative self-talk.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
I get stressed quite easily and will usually do whatever it takes to negate the stress, unless these methods will just cause further stress. When I was the most stressed I had ever been, I had brief suicidal snippets of thought (but no plotting) as well as fantasies of admitting myself to a mental hospital to avoid dealing with the realities of the situation.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
I can't stand authority unless I 100% believe the person in authority is doing a better job than I would, and know the reasoning behind what their authority dictates. Otherwise, I don't take to it very well. "Because I said so" was never an acceptable answer for me as a child. I also find those who believe a religious text is completely authoritative and free of error to be foolish, and even a bit unintelligent, seeing as they often prioritize the text above common sense. As for power, I can't say I really crave it. I almost feel bad when I'm in a position to exercise it. I also can't stand that most people in power were elected to that position for superficial reasons like charisma. I guess part of me envies having that power as part of my quest to "win" at life, but I don't really have too much of a desire to exercise it on anyone.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
I think life can be bleak if we allow it to be, but also full of surprises. I've begun to think that it's the most enjoyable if you avoid comparing yourself to others, as hard as that is for me. Everyone has the potential to live a life beyond their wildest dreams. I go back and forth on my opinion of humanity; it seems when I'm healthy I think people are inherently good, and when unhealthy inherently evil. Overall I'd say I hold the stance that humans are inherently evil, with that evilness maintained by the challenges of life, but have a desire to become good.

I'll answer the bonus questions if these prove to be insufficient. I also apologize for the inconsistent formatting (if you actually care); couldn't get my answers to be unbolded.
 

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"I have a bizarre obsession with free time and fun. I've yet to really find a passion that I can pursue that leaves me not caring about free time away from it. I think my occasional preoccupation with material success stems from my desire for eventual eternal free time. I don't even really know anymore." The typical 3 type personality is so driven and success oriented that often times they have difficulty taking a vacation because they aren't getting anything accomplished.
Type 3's can become so detached from their emotions that they may not even know how they truly feel and can become so preoccupied with the expectations of others which can lead them further away from their authentic self. 3's are not so conscious of their shame and are difficult to really get to know, although often they are likable and generous.
where as 4's are acutely aware of their inner states and do not hide from their emotions. Social Anxiety is typical with type 4. 4's also tend to be very critical of themselves.

4 with a 3 wing sees themselves as passionate, fiery, expressive, energetic, and kind.
3 with a 4 wing sees themselves as professional, elegant, polished, and fun.

You seem to be pretty self aware and acknowledge even negative emotions and state of mind. I can see the 4 and 3 in what you said, but your openness doesn't come off to me as a 3 would.

Thank you for posting this and good luck to you in finding your personality type :)
 

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Very important to literally distinguish 4w3 and 3w4 as 4 and 3 respectively, before making any conclusions here. Do not put the wing into the picture, in other words, without first making a separate argument for the type.
 

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Hello again,

I'm just wondering if you had looked into the type 5 personality type. In the fears and how you see yourself section, it made me wonder. 5's have a desire to master things. You used the word "perfected" in how you would like to be seen/see yourself. Could you be meaning that in terms of self mastery?
Also, you said that too many commitments make you feel awful. Do you feel depleted from social interactions?
Sometimes figuring out enneagram type is a process of elimination. The other person who posted on this said you sound like a 7. I'm not sure why he thought so, but 5's disintegration is to 7, and we take on the positive and negatives of our integration types and disintegration types. Just a thought.
Now, I wouldn't jump to typing you as a 5, but if it sounds like you identify with it when you look into it, or if you already have, it could be a wing. What do you think about the 5 and do you relate to it at all?
 

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I think it should be said that in the less popularly studied texts on enneagram, by people who really seriously have studied it, the desire for mastery is pretty possible to attribute to various types, for various underlying motives.

It's easy to attach an outward persona to a type like 5~mastery but 3~does it to look good, but in reality the 3 may seek something that's as mastery-obsessed as it gets, it'll just look different if you really strip all the fluff away.
 

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The mastery that is associated with the 5 is the need to have a certain degree of expertise. It allows this type to feel capable but also it is how they connect to the world. I think that reason to connect with the world is a distinguishing factor.
5's can have a tendency to feel depleted from social situations because of the fear of not having a sufficient amount of internal resources.
It sounds like you've studied the enneagram sufficiently. If the 5 does not match up with you, then rule it out I suppose.
 
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