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Discussion Starter #1
Hello! So, in my school we learn about the Enneagram as part of our religion/self-knowledge program (I go to a Catholic School) and I have always been conflicted between a 3 or a 7. I've heard they're commonly mistyped. I tend to lean towards a 3, and most of my peers have given me varying answers. Therefore, I wanted to get the opinions of people who don't know me and see what they (you!) think based on the questionnaire.


Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I want to be successful and well known in life. I'm not really sure what I want to do for a career yet necessarily, but I know that I want to be in the public eye and be a role model for other people to look up to. I try to present myself in the best way possible and always represent the best person someone needs me to be.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
Like I said in the previous post, I'd like to be a role model to people. Similar to Oprah Winfrey, I want to do things for the greater good, but I want to be known for doing it too. (not the best example, but she was all I could think of). Another bad example is Abby Lee Miller from the show Dance Moms. I'd love to have her kind of reputation as an amazing dance teacher. I don't want to be a dance teacher, but I would love to have the reputation she does.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I always want to avoid looking bad in the eyes of other people. I value looking good, doing good things, helping others, being respected, and being looked up to.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
My absolute biggest fear is having a bad reputation, and looking bad in the eyes of other people, or having people not like me. Nothing stresses me out more than other people not liking me or talking about me negatively, because that gets around to other people and then everyone will hate me.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I feel like I keep answering the next question in the one before it! I want others to basically see the best of themselves in me. I want them to look at me and say "wow, I wish I was like him." I don't really see myself I guess? I'm not even sure what to say to that.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel my best when I perform well and people acknowledge me for it. I'm in theatre, and there is no better feeling than walking out after a show and having people come up to me and tell me what an amazing job I did and having people ask for pictures with their kids, or jokingly ask for autographs. I feel my worst when I don't do my best. The worst I've ever felt was when I messed up a very intense monologue in a play (Act 2 Juror 10 monologue in 12 Angry Men if anyone knows it) on the only night of my performance. The entire cast mocked me for it and I still get upset thinking about it. Not being perfect is not acceptable.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a) I feel angry with myself if I mess something up, or don't do my best. I never really feel angry with other people though.
b) I feel ashamed when, again, I mess up. I just think of my reputation and how I have injured it through not doing my best.
c) I feel anxious when I know people are talking about me negatively, or if I'm being forced to present something without knowing it well enough.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) Stress actually motivates me to work harder, but I usually don't realize I'm stressed out until I look at my schedule and realize I have two rehearsals and two shows in a day, plus a paper due the next day and realize I've overbooked myself.
b) Unexpected change and I don't go together well... I schedule my life, usually to the minute. And everything needs to be on schedule.
c) I don't deal with conflicts well. I like everyone to get along and be friends.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
I'm just going to answer these together. I personally prefer to be the person in authority and power because I think that I can best lead a group. If I'm not in charge then I work my hardest to somehow get to a place where I'm at least second in command.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
I look at life as one big stage. I'm just here to give the best performance possible.


Optional Questions

11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
When I was younger my parents and I fought a lot. I could never perform well enough for them, in school, sports, or theatrics/arts. I was involved in everything you could be but it was never good enough, and although it's not a specific event, I always tried to better myself to grab their attention. My younger sister is an amazing dancer and I always had to fight to grab their attention from them. I decided to work harder and now I'm the one with music and theatre scholarships, while she fights for their attention from me.

12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I have a trust no one policy. Everyone will hurt you at any chance they get.

13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
a) I'm a very narcissistic person; I can sing and act well, I can play soccer, baseball, and tennis. I do very well in school. I'm good looking, nice, responsible, mature, popular and respectable. I have a good reputation among my peers.
b) I dislike that I don't really feel my emotions. I can't express how I really feel to other people and I often feel an emptiness in my chest where I feel like my emotions should be. Having one emotion pop up can actually be overwhelming to me, and I'd like to somehow figure out how to feel things and express them to others, but not let emotions get in the way of getting things done. When I'm alone, though, my emotions just seem to spring up at me.

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
I notice imperfections in other people's behaviors the most. If someone is being rude it bothers me to no end and I think of what other people must be thinking. I notice how things should look, what colors should go with what and where, what music works in whatever situation. I notice a lot of things regarding beauty, but it's often overshadowed by an imperfection that immediately swallows up the beauty.

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
If a stranger insults me I really take it to heart. I always feel that the people who know you best are the people who have just met you, because first impressions are everything. If they compliment me, then I'll usually accept it graciously. I have to admit, I love compliments!

16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
a) I'm thankful for my hard working attitude and dedication. They've taught me that it's important to stick to what you start and to always put your best foot forward.
b) I wish I could have a bit more insight into myself. I feel like I don't know who I am.

Typing this all up made me think I'm more of a 3, but I'm still really not sure. I've read two of Hellen Palmer's Books (The Enneagram and The Enneagram in Work and Love) and I really feel the same between 3 and 7. Thank you if you took the time to read this and I'll anxiously await responses! Thanks again!
 

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Loon Princess
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I can see why you would think you're a 7. 7's and 3's are actually pretty alike, if you look at their types. The motivations for 7 are different to 3, though. A 7 works hard for the sake of reaping future rewards and opportunities, while a 3 works hard in order to distinguish themselves as the best.

From your description, you look like a clear-cut 3w2.
 

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Discussion Starter #3 (Edited)
Okay, thank you very much for replying so quickly! I was also wondering, sorry to ask, if you could advise me on how to figure out my tritype? Would it just be the two numbers from each triad I scored the highest for on the test?

And I'm also a little unsure of a 3w2, I always thought more of a 3w4 personally. I read Timeless' post and I don't really see myself as the "aggressive extrovert" of a 3w2 compared to the creative, self-image centered 3w4. Then again, I am the one asking for other's help so yeah lol.
 

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I see 3w2 as well. ^^ You're definitely am image type from what I can see. I think your gut fix is 1w2. I'm not entirely sure about your head fix, but I definitely doubt it's Five. I don't really see Seven, but then I don't know if I can really see Six either.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thank you very much! I can't really see between Six and Seven for myself either, I just went for Seven because I don't really have the doubting of a six and the 3-1-7 description fit me better than a 3-1-6 description. Thank you for reading all of that and replying :D
 

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Well, if you were relating to aspects of 3w4, what aspects were you relating to? I don't really see elements of 4 there in your description of yourself. Is there more than you would like to share?

I really do believe that the social gregariousness aspect of the 3w2 may come across as more exaggerated than it is. Considering that a 3 is achievement focused, and the 2 is people-focused ... I would venture to guess that a 3w2 would strive for success in the social arena --- and would be more motivated to adopt to a role of relationship focus which would lead to success. Hence the idea of the 3w2 seeking careers in community service, philanthropies etc. But those aren't the only arenas where they can be of service to others. In the case of sp's and sx's may even decide to stick to a selected realm for success and try to be "the most solid providor/bread earner" or the "best husband", or the "best friend".

I think that 3w4's sort of bring a dynamic of image/image where there's a bit of a conflict. 3 says "I gotta fake it to make it" .. 4 brings in the element of "I need to be authentic therefore I'll present a more realized version of myself" .. Prone to exaggeration of the self, but still more apt to put on masks --- ultimately shaping himself/herself as a unique individual and feeling a sense of accomplishment in doing so - and choosing to excel in areas where image can be authentic, as well as allowed to flourish through recognition and admiration of what the 3w4 does professionally.

However, also prone to the relatively stereotypical "dark sides" of the 4. Dramatization of past hurts. Wearing of scars as a badge of honour [but expressing it almost as though bragging about it, because the scar was 'earned' on the way of achieving something, or as a way of explaining away true failure "I got injured therefore it limited what I could do, but I could've done so much more"].

Anyways .. just my take.

I do keep in mind now that it is entirely possible for one to be balanced with one side heavier than the other, but not always mutually exclusive.
 

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"Bragging about scars.." so to speak is not so much 3w4 by itself. What comes across as 'bragging' has more to do with 7w8 and/or 8 influence in the tritype. @Jawz. 3w4s may include some negativity in their image (within reason..and tastefully), but bragging about said negativity is not an inherently 3w4 thing. @Jawz
But, you explained the differences quite well.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Thank you both for your replies. I think after reading @Jawz's descriptions I'm identifying more with the 3w2. I think maybe when I first read the description for 3w2 I couldn't get past the aggressive part - because I'm definitely not an aggressive person - but now that I read it all again and could try to take my mind away from stereotypes I'm really starting to see it.

I really do believe that the social gregariousness aspect of the 3w2 may come across as more exaggerated than it is. Considering that a 3 is achievement focused, and the 2 is people-focused ... I would venture to guess that a 3w2 would strive for success in the social arena --- and would be more motivated to adopt to a role of relationship focus which would lead to success. Hence the idea of the 3w2 seeking careers in community service, philanthropies etc. But those aren't the only arenas where they can be of service to others. In the case of sp's and sx's may even decide to stick to a selected realm for success and try to be "the most solid providor/bread earner" or the "best husband", or the "best friend".

I think that 3w4's sort of bring a dynamic of image/image where there's a bit of a conflict. 3 says "I gotta fake it to make it"
This particularly resonated with me, especially the part about trying to be the best in a certain area of their life, specifically trying to be the "best friend." I've been noticing myself a lot more recently trying to be the best friend, listening to everyone's problems and offering to help everyone with something, showering people with compliments. Usually with the goal of getting them to like me so I can seem like the best friend to have. I've always been decently popular, but I'm always trying to portray myself as the "best person" to be friends with.

In terms of things that made me lean towards 3w4 initially was the idea of a concentration on self-image, and wanting to be seen as different and unique. But if several people have come to the same conclusion that I appear as a 3w2 then I think I have to accept that as true. I really laid myself out in this questionnaire - which I usually would definitely avoid doing - and I'm really truly grateful that people have been responding and helping me figure this out. Thank you!
 

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I also believe that there may be a misunderstanding of what Type 3 aggression really means. The typical meaning of Aggression = Someone who's reactive, prone to throwing his/her weight around, argumentative etc.

I think ... but I may be wrong, but the Type 3 aggression may be more specifically talking about go-getting, making things happens. You can't really achieve much in this world being passive or fearful, therefore, you have to go out there and get it.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I also believe that there may be a misunderstanding of what Type 3 aggression really means. The typical meaning of Aggression = Someone who's reactive, prone to throwing his/her weight around, argumentative etc.

I think ... but I may be wrong, but the Type 3 aggression may be more specifically talking about go-getting, making things happens. You can't really achieve much in this world being passive or fearful, therefore, you have to go out there and get it.
Wow, I never thought of it that way. I think I was stuck in the idea of 8-like aggression. In that context I'm definitely aggressive when I want to do something or get something done; there's no stopping me. I definitely need to start looking into these things before I make assumptions.
 
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