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Hey guys. I’m 90% sure that I’m a Si-Ne user (I’m probably some ISxJ), but I’ve never been sure whether I use Te-Fi or Fe-Ti. I have a better understanding of the feeling functions than the thinking ones, so I’ll discuss those. The thing is, I seem to use both Fe and Fi equally (I know we all use the 8 functions), but the more I dwell on it, the more confused I get. I feel like I do a lot of Fi things, but for Fe reasons, if that makes any sense. I’m definitely self-focused and selfish like a Fi user, but my motivations revolve around very Fe things (approval, connection etc.). Sometimes I think I’m Si-Fi looping, and other times I believe I analyse my emotions and motivations like a Ti user would.

I’m in definite need of some help!

Why I might be a Fi user…
I have difficulty expressing my feelings to others and thus am extremely private with my emotions. When I’m going through something tough, my instinct is to barricade myself in my room, alone (like Elsa from Frozen, who’s Si-Fi looping). The thing is though, I want to express how I feel to others. I think sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings with others is one of the best ways to cultivate connection. I want to feel intimate with others. It’s just that, I have so many inhibitions when it comes expressing feelings. I’m afraid that people will think that I’m weird for feeling the way that I do and abandon me. A lot of my friends are dealing with tough circumstances and I refrain from telling them my ‘trivial’ problems in case I offend them. While I aspire to be expressive with my emotions in the future, it’s definitely my first instinct to run away and hide, like someone in a Si-Fi loop.

I value authenticity and aspire to be myself. But again, I think my motives for wanting to be authentic (a Fi trait) are very Fe reasons. As I’ll discuss later, I’ve been always a bit of a ‘poser’, someone who molds their identity for the approval of others. Approval feels amazing, but after the ‘high’, I was left left feeling as empty as always. How could I feel or understand love, if the ‘love’ I received wasn’t actually directed towards ‘me’? If intimacy and connection are my first priority, then wasn’t I going about achieving those things in a roundabout way? After this epiphany, I resolved to be ‘myself’ as best as I could.

Why I might be a Fe user…
My whole identity and self-concept is informed by the opinion of others. I absorb what others say about me, and subconsciously become the manifestation of their opinions. If someone says I’m cold. I then begin identifying myself as a ‘cold’ person. It’s how I define myself. I deeply care about how I’m perceived by others. Because I’m so affected by the opinions of others, I used to mold my personality around what I thought would yield the most approval. Like, I used to fantasize about people admiring and approving of me. It’s something that I’m definitely trying to change.

That's all I can think of at the moment. I'll update this post if anything else springs to mind. Thank you :)
 

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I won't be of much help to you except I relate to what you are saying.I feel like my values are internal but I also feel like I need outside approval. I want to express my feelings but often I don't except under stress and than it might come out badly. I can also be affected but the mood or tone of what's going on around me.But that's like an in the moment thing.

I analyze my feelings as well even if I don't change I still analyze my feelings and an how different situations.
 

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Hey guys. I’m 90% sure that I’m a Si-Ne user (I’m probably some ISxJ), but I’ve never been sure whether I use Te-Fi or Fe-Ti. I have a better understanding of the feeling functions than the thinking ones, so I’ll discuss those. The thing is, I seem to use both Fe and Fi equally (I know we all use the 8 functions), but the more I dwell on it, the more confused I get. I feel like I do a lot of Fi things, but for Fe reasons, if that makes any sense. I’m definitely self-focused and selfish like a Fi user, but my motivations revolve around very Fe things (approval, connection etc.). Sometimes I think I’m Si-Fi looping, and other times I believe I analyse my emotions and motivations like a Ti user would.

I’m in definite need of some help!

Why I might be a Fi user…
I have difficulty expressing my feelings to others and thus am extremely private with my emotions. When I’m going through something tough, my instinct is to barricade myself in my room, alone (like Elsa from Frozen, who’s Si-Fi looping). The thing is though, I want to express how I feel to others. I think sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings with others is one of the best ways to cultivate connection. I want to feel intimate with others. It’s just that, I have so many inhibitions when it comes expressing feelings. I’m afraid that people will think that I’m weird for feeling the way that I do and abandon me. A lot of my friends are dealing with tough circumstances and I refrain from telling them my ‘trivial’ problems in case I offend them. While I aspire to be expressive with my emotions in the future, it’s definitely my first instinct to run away and hide, like someone in a Si-Fi loop.

I value authenticity and aspire to be myself. But again, I think my motives for wanting to be authentic (a Fi trait) are very Fe reasons. As I’ll discuss later, I’ve been always a bit of a ‘poser’, someone who molds their identity for the approval of others. Approval feels amazing, but after the ‘high’, I was left left feeling as empty as always. How could I feel or understand love, if the ‘love’ I received wasn’t actually directed towards ‘me’? If intimacy and connection are my first priority, then wasn’t I going about achieving those things in a roundabout way? After this epiphany, I resolved to be ‘myself’ as best as I could.

Why I might be a Fe user…
My whole identity and self-concept is informed by the opinion of others. I absorb what others say about me, and subconsciously become the manifestation of their opinions. If someone says I’m cold. I then begin identifying myself as a ‘cold’ person. It’s how I define myself. I deeply care about how I’m perceived by others. Because I’m so affected by the opinions of others, I used to mold my personality around what I thought would yield the most approval. Like, I used to fantasize about people admiring and approving of me. It’s something that I’m definitely trying to change.

That's all I can think of at the moment. I'll update this post if anything else springs to mind. Thank you :)
You can also fill out a questionnaire on this "what's my type forum" in the sticky list at the top, that will help alot to help type you also.
 
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