Am I an ESFJ or ESFP?

251 Views 3 Replies 3 Participants Last post by nmimamo, Oct 10, 2017

nmimamo

Discussion Starter · Oct 9, 2017 (Edited)

Hi guys, thank you for reading my post, I have studied pretty much about the types and their functions but perhaps my understanding is limited so I don't know which one I am, so it really helpful if you guys can help me with this part. Here are some of my traits and behaviors.

- I am like a modern-day knight, I hate people who do things wrong or cruel/bad to others. From normal things like speeding or honking to things that I only understand/feel. Such as those people who fake a smile or being friendly to me just for their benefits. There are a lot so I can't list all of them here but at the time I saw someone doing such things I want to smash them but it mostly end up verbally because I just can't hit a person.

- I have strict codes for my relationships, the closer the harder they are. Like I hate a person who blindly having sex with new relationships or friends who cheat on me and many more. I can end love-relationships easily but it is harder for friends. I will tell them to go away but then I feel so sad, lonely and angry that I have to make up with them.

- I tend to jokes a lot and make fun of everything (but not on others), I want life to be really light and fun.

- I suffer from past-relationships hurts a lot. It scared me everytime with new ones.
- I am a physical person, literally I will get sick and stiff if I stay still for hours. I like sports and a good work-out.
- I like to do anything and a lot of things with close friends or my partner but definitely not alone. I'd rather stay at home if no one is free but then I'll get sick both physically and mentally. I can be with them 24/24 and do pretty much anything.

- I live day-to-day, I don't like plans/schedules.
- I'm lazy, sometimes to the point of going to the kitchen for dinner or even driving, but I tend to have a lot of friends who are willing to do them all for me. I don't know about this part, I'm not manipulative for sure, I make friend with them wholeheartedly but a lot of them find serving or protecting me is more than fine.

- I don't like working for others, I'd punch any boss I find cruel, cheating or unjust. But overall I can't take commands well, it annoys me even little ones. I quitted a lot of jobs before because I hate those fake employees and strict commands.

- I tend to feel others' feelings, like if someone is scared or ashamed, I will feel it too
- I follow social rules but only for the person I like. Like I will hold the door for someone I believe to be 'good' and just ignore those who are 'bad' no matter who they are.

- And for schools or companies rules, I hate them and would always against them. I believe people can still be good and even better without the need of rules.

- I tend to get hyper or ESFP-ish when I'm with close friends, even to the point of being shameless. But others than that I'm pretty quiet and observing, I have a strong and scary aura as my friends told me when I'm not hyper.

- Though my friends often serve me, I always look out for them but it is mainly for physical protection or repel bad people going near them. Even for new friends I will try to get rid of bad friends that they had before me. I usually talk logically with them about that and trying to prove that I am good. If they won't listen to my I can get pretty angry. For my partner, it is me or those bad people, I'm pretty domineering in this. With friends I tend to be more open-minded but in the end I still want them to follow me.

- I kinda want my friends/partner to have me only (me first, not even other friends or their family) but I tend to have a lot of friends (please don't judge me about this)

- I don't like conflicts, even little ones, I totally ignore them. But when my friends are being attacked or treated badly, I can be really ferocious, I will try to drive them away or ask for their sorry first, usually it ends here because I am really scary at this mode. But I do worry I may accidently kill someone if they continue stubbornly.

- For relationship-conflicts, I'd rather avoid or even end the relationship than work it out. Pretty much I want them to say sorry first, I want to know that they value me and I kinda want to win.

- I don't tend to take risks, I will if I know they are safe or neutral. But when I did, they all come out good and I feel kinda proud.

- I get affected by emotions a lot, like at sport-competitions or a betrayal of a friend. I tend to shut down, not even care about my body anymore when I'm affected by serious negative feelings.

- I am pretty strong physically, my body has huge endurance (I don't know if this help but maybe MBTI has something to do with physical conditions).

- I want to live good to a have a healthy body even when I'm old but I have to do something wild and crazy sometimes. My body tend to be ruined by my emotions.

- I hate reading, not even news, I even hate movies because I have to sit there and watch them.
- I hate studying though I can get pass exams easily, people say I'm smart but I hate to be smart.

- For my life purpose, I want to enjoy every moments with my friends and partner, and I don't want to experience any bad things anymore.

So am I ESFP or ESFJ? These are just based on my understanding so if there are anything I'm mistaken, please feel free to say it. Thank you so much for helping me!

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Myrra

· #2 · Oct 9, 2017

Hi!

I'd say this pretty well describes a lot of Se and Fi (ESFP). Fe is more about always being aware of what's socially appropriate. If you used Si as your auxiliary you would probably be more comfortable with plans and schedules. So if you're sure about just ESFJ or ESFP you're without doubt an ESFP.

Hope this helps

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Drecon

· #3 · Oct 9, 2017

From your description I'd say ESFP. Especially the way you describe your feelings is indicative of Fi. Fe-users don't tend to know how they feel.

I could do a line-by-line examination of your piece, but I doubt that would be useful in your case.

What I would like to tell you though is to try and look beyond the stereotypes presented on the typing websites. I see a lot of phrases in your text that could come straight from a typing website, but completely miss the mark. I'll put a small piece up for both the ESFJ and the ESFP and then you can try to decide which one might fit you more.

ESFJ:
Fe - The ESFJ's main brain function is to relate everything to other people. They don't hold personal values so much as absorb values from their environment. ESFJ's need to have harmony in their environment. Some ESFJ's do this by making their own needs subservient to other people's needs. Others by taking point and try to lay a foundation where everyone can feel at home.
Si - The ESFJ's secondary function is the way they process information. They take the world in as-is and try to be an impartial observer to it. An ESFJ will notice that your fly is unzipped and that you have a new purse. They take in details about you and immediately relate it to how you might be doing.
Ne - ESFJ's tertiary funtion is dealing in possibilities. This is the playful side, where they consider alternative options to the factual information they encounter. ESFJ's balance their knowledge of what the world is like with an ability to be flexible to alternatives. An ESFJ might be the one that tries to set up a church choir or something like that. The options tend to be in the realm of the familiar though.
Ti - ESFJ's often have trouble with consistency. While their Fe drives them to connect with others, their Ti should balance this out by setting up guidelines for interaction. ESFJ's can have trouble with boundaries because they tend to hold others' values above their own. A well developed Ti can allow them to behave the same way in different situations, without feeling like they're putting their own needs above others'.

ESFP:
Se - The ESFP leads with 'active observation'. They like to explore the physical world in different ways. Some choose sports, others dancing, painting or human interaction. It doesn't matter what the outlet is, as long as it's exploratory. ESFP's learn by doing first and reflecting second. ESFP's can often have trouble in school because of this, trying something new and getting punished because of it. They also tend to take in information that is a lot more fragmented, focusing more on color and movement, rather than the flat information that the ESFJ takes in.
Fi - The secondary function for the ESFP is their moral center. ESFP's don't need to think about how they feel and what's important as it's just always clear to them. Their Fi values might lead ESFP's to become caring individuals that like helping people over everything else. On the other hand it can drive others to live a secluded lifestyle away from hostile criticisms. In all cases it's because of their beliefs and values that they act a certain way.
Te - ESFP's have an interesting relationship with goals. They know what they want, but might have trouble knowing how to get it. Many ESFP's choose to fall back on their Se and act without a plan, but later in development they learn that they are actually great planners and can easily reach any goal that they find important enough.
Ni - ESFP's get stressed thinking about 'big ideas' too much but prefer just acting on their ideas immediately. As the ESFP gets older (between 35 and 45), they become calmer and take more time to reflect on 'what it all means'. Earlier on in life, this can be stressful though.

I hope this clears up the confusion a bit. I personally hate the way certain types are represented, as people get the idea that ESFP = selfish and ESFJ = social. That's complete bullshit though, so try to see through the descriptions and find out what's behind them.

Any other questions, just fire away. I'm on here a lot, so I'm sure I'll see it.

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nmimamo

Discussion Starter · #4 · Oct 10, 2017

Wow thank guys a lot for your answers, it clarifies many things for me.

I thought about the reason why I confused. Because I want to protect and guide those who are close to me, much to the point of domineering. There are just a lot of things I want them to listen and follow me because I (imo) have a strong sense of what is right or wrong, I don't want to control strangers but I feel angry when they do something wrong in social situations. Isn't this goes against the 'live in the moment' and 'live and let live' of ESFP? I do want people to be themselves but there are points that they must listen to me, I'm also not open-minded in some cases and tend to judge people (based on my opinions) at first glance; but I still be friendly when they come close, except for those that I label as 'bad'. But other than that, I just want to have fun with my friends/partner, carefree and happy.

May be I got affected by stereotyping, I belive ESFP is happy, funny (hyper) and always enjoying life and wouldn't bothers controlling or directing others and be really open-minded. I live in the moment and do have fun but not risky (& stupid) one, like I enjoy clubbing, but not overnight and swallow tons of alcohol or weed just to get sick the next day. It can be said that I'm pretty cautious with things involve health or safety so I don't really know. Hope you can help me with this!

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