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Discussion Starter #1
So, I have recently become convinced I am not an INTP, but an INFJ that developed Ti very early in life. I also think I have started to repress Fe very early in life. The first might have to do with the fact that I am gifted and skipped a grade, was pushed into the role of a thinker, pushed into the role of an INTP. The second might have to do with the fact that I was bullied from an early age, so I was forced to repress my urge to express my feelings and interact with others, because they would always use the things I said against me and force me to be ashamed.

This might also be part of the reason why I couldn't motivate myself for my bio engineer studies (even though I did get my master diploma). I don't really feel like an engineer or a scientist. I feel like a writer, a musician, an artist, a philosopher, a psychologist. I'm also very idealistic, and in the latest years I have consumed a plethora of knowledge concerning politics, uncensored history and economics. This has caused me to turn completely against the system and the Western world and to become an activist with revolutionary dreams (even though we won't be able to change much until the economic system collapses completely or global warming's effects become unbearable to the Western world, obviously...).

There's also the fact I have kept loving a girl from high school who was once in love with me, when I was way too timid and closed up even though I loved her too, and so I have never had a relationship in my life and am still a virgin, since she has always been with someone else and I have only recently - after 8 years - tried to contact her in the midst of an LSD-fueled psychosis. Not good...

I also have a tendency to investigate conspiracy theories, and there are some which I believe to be true because there is more than enough evidence to support them (see books like Web of Debt, The Shock Doctrine, Necessary Illusions and Amusing Ourselves to Death to get an idea what I mean and documentaries like Century of the Self by Adam Curtis, The Money Masters by William Still and pretty much anything by John Pilger). If you are interested in politics, I think the online newsletter CounterPunch is also the way to go.

I've also been depressed most of my life from a certain age. I have struggled with substance abuse, primarily cannabis and alcohol, I have done a lot of hallucinogenics (even though this wasn't an addiction) and I've tried most drugs at least once.

During one of my latest trips, I had a really bad trip in which I thought I died and would be tortured forever in hell, when suddenly a vision of a seraphic version of the girl I talked about came and saved me. This is also what pushed me to contact her, even though it might have worked out better if I had waited until the psychosis had ended...

In any case, I was wondering how likely it is that I am an INFJ (I am pretty convinced myself), and if you have any questions I should answer for you to be able to assess this more easily. In tests, I usually float at the treshold between F/T and J/P, but the INFJ description matches me best and explains more than if I were an INTP.
 

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A few things you said make it possible that you are INFJ.

I see Ni as the function most likely to believe in conspiracy theories. Because it just knows what is really going on.
As an INTP, my Ne can't square most conspiracy theories with reality. I can easily come up with alternate explanations for the same data that's just as valid.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Well, my belief in conspiracy theories also has a rational side to it. There are these two things, money and power. And there is the fact that very intelligent psychopaths with narcissistic personality disorder exist. There is also the fact that these people will be drawn more strongly to money and power, and will be able to acquire more of it more easily, stimulating their worst characteristics. Then there's the fact that people with a lot of money and power are bound to cooperate with other people with a lot of money and power to retain their money and power and increase it. Then there's the fact they will sometimes do this behind closed doors, without democratic interference and without ethical values in mind. So in my mind, it is completely irrational to think there wouldn't be any conspiracies at the very top. Then there's also a lot of evidence to imply there are. So while there is this part of me that just feels these things, that feels something is completely off and some things don't make sense in any light other than conspiracies, I can also support this using my Ti.

Of course, there are conspiracy theories and there are conspiracy theories. I do not believe there is a group of six supervillains that have weekly gatherings in an underground temple made by aliens where they discuss world domination while drinking from skull-shaped goblets filled with the condensed stolen dreams of albino orphans while sacrificing virgin hipsters to Cthulhu.

The world is complex, there are a lot of different powerful interests, sometimes cooperating, sometimes fighting. But there does seem to be a powerful core, and there is a lot of money that is hidden, that we don't know about, very powerful forces we don't know about. And many forces have the same core interests at heart. In the end, we are all being screwed by them, even if they might sometimes fight among themselves.

But let's not get off track here, I wanted to find out if I was an INFJ or not, I wasn't looking to convert others into conspiracy theorists. :tongue:
 
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I wouldn't argue that there are no conspiracies
But my problem with most conspiracy theories are the assumptions baked into many of them, such as:
- The people involved are made out to be almost omnipotent, evil. As if there are no competing interests to stop or slow them. How well is a group of narcissists really likely to get along before in-fighting breaks out?
- us vs them mentality (not everything good for 'them' (whoever they are) is necessarily bad for us and vice versa)
- playing 'connect the dots' take a loose series of facts (often taken out of context) and connect them into a conspiracy narrative.
- guilt by association. If any person or group has dealings with another person or group that's part of a conspiracy, then they too must be part of the conspiracy or at least very suspect.
- anyone who argues against the conspiracy must be part of the conspiracy :p

anyway back on topic.
I see things in both your posts that could suggest either INFJ or INTP.
There are some tell-tale signs I see in many INFJ posters, but you haven't quite hit them.. yet. lol
 

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Discussion Starter #5
So, perhaps I will add some more info, to make it easier for people to give me their opinion.

I write poetry, I can be reasonably good at it when I want to (see the INTP poetry thread).

I play the electric guitar, the acoustic guitar, the piano and the keyboard, and I make my own music. I know just about nothing about music theory, but I still make pretty complex songs, I have for example made a classical composition, a few progressive metal songs over 10 minutes long, some electronic songs and a few solo piano compositions (one of which I improvised over a few melodies I had made a priori). I will link these as soon as I can (need more posts). You can also search youtube for Harmonic Dissonance and the song names Grains of Sand and Goddess of the Sun and more songs through my channel (Opethian737).

I draw, I have only recently gotten more serious about it but I do have some talent.

I read a lot, I have been a fantasy fan from a young age even though I didn't read much back then since I was too addicted to my pc. Recently I've begun reading more political/culture critical lecture, but I'm also getting into the classic novels.

I have begun work on a fantasy novel but I have put that project in stasis for now because I have some other goals that I need to work on first.

I have a huge procrastination problem. During my studies I never did anything until the exams were there, I always postpone the little meaningless things in life as long as I can, etc...

I have very few friends, but the few I have are really good friends. I do need human contact now and then. I can be very sociable when I've had a bit too drink. But I absolutely loathe small talk. I will start talking to a complete stranger about the actual causes and the complexity of the economic crisis, but please don't make me talk about the weather.

I am heavily burdened by all the suffering in the world. I feel guilty for being part of this Western society that is so parasitic, superficial, egocentric, materialistic and ignorant. I don't understand why people don't realize that the opportunities we have are built on the suffering of others and the lack of opportunities of others. I don't understand how people prefer to live in their bubbles of ignorance and pay attention only to those close to them and matters that pertain directly to their own lives. Well, it's not that I don't understand, I'm just completely frustrated by it and I want it to change.

I will add more later, if you need to know anything specific, just ask.
 

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So, perhaps I will add some more info, to make it easier for people to give me their opinion.

I write poetry, I can be reasonably good at it when I want to (see the INTP poetry thread).
More INFJ- but can't rule out INTP

I play the electric guitar, the acoustic guitar, the piano and the keyboard, and I make my own music. I know just about nothing about music theory, but I still make pretty complex songs,
This sounds really INTP- To self-teach something, without learning any of the theory behind it.

I draw, I have only recently gotten more serious about it but I do have some talent.
I draw too

I read a lot, I have been a fantasy fan from a young age even though I didn't read much back then since I was too addicted to my pc. Recently I've begun reading more political/culture critical lecture, but I'm also getting into the classic novels.
Could go either way

I have a huge procrastination problem. During my studies I never did anything until the exams were there, I always postpone the little meaningless things in life as long as I can, etc...
Sounds VERY INTP

I have very few friends, but the few I have are really good friends. I do need human contact now and then. I can be very sociable when I've had a bit too drink. But I absolutely loathe small talk. I will start talking to a complete stranger about the actual causes and the complexity of the economic crisis, but please don't make me talk about the weather.
This is a good area to distinguish the two types.
What stops you from getting closer to people and making more friends?

I am heavily burdened by all the suffering in the world. I feel guilty for being part of this Western society that is so parasitic, superficial, egocentric, materialistic and ignorant. I don't understand why people don't realize that the opportunities we have are built on the suffering of others and the lack of opportunities of others. I don't understand how people prefer to live in their bubbles of ignorance and pay attention only to those close to them and matters that pertain directly to their own lives. Well, it's not that I don't understand, I'm just completely frustrated by it and I want it to change.
Sounds much more INFJ
 

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Discussion Starter #7
What stops you from getting closer to people and making more friends?
I don't know, I feel content with just one really good friend, I don't feel the need to have more friends. It would become too much of a burden, if I have a friend I want there to be a real connection, I don't want to be juggling friends with superficial bonds and putting my energy into something so meaningless. The same thing goes for casual sex, I could probably hook up with someone if I wanted to, but I just don't see the point. Love is all or nothing for me. It's a bit like madness, in a magical self-tormenting way.

This brings me to another thing, I hate networking, I absolutely despise marketing, I loathe careerism, I have a problem with people with big egos, even if I do understand them and try to love them like every other living being on this planet. The problem is, in a depression it's pretty hard to love everyone. I can be bitter and hateful at times, when I'm at my deepest.

The type I dislike most is the ESTP type. Probably because my dream girl (ISFJ) is now with an ESTP, who is probably manipulating her and using her while taking advantage of his financial prowess and traditional success. But it's just another egocentric douchebag who cares about nothing but his family and close friends and sees life as a game, imo. I don't even want to play that twisted game.

What else. Well, i philosophize a lot. I don't believe in free will (I have made some logical arguments to prove this to myself), I believe everything is connected, everything is one, and my ethical framework is based purely on happiness and suffering. This is also why I think most people's goals are completely pointless. The only thing that matters is to maximize happiness and minimize suffering, globally and in a durable way. At the same time I am a pantheist, but also an agnostic and an atheist. You can be those at the same time, it's no problem.

I want to some day reduce my ego until it is almost non-existant. I am interested in Buddhism, in letting go of most things. The only thing I don't want to let go of is love, trying to make the world a fairer place, and creating art (in its broadest sense).

Also, nature is kind of a big deal to me. I love being in places where you can find almost no evidence of humans ever being present there. And I love animals. I have a higher empathy for most animals than I do for most humans. I am afraid of spiders, but I often feel guilty when I kill one. I hate it when people kill insects for no reason, as I believe these creatures to be able to feel happiness and suffering just like we do, albeit in a very primitive, simple way, without being able to plan for the future or relive the past in the way we do. This doesn't mean their lives are worthless.

I used to game a lot, but I have stopped gaming now to focus on more important things. I have wasted enough of my life being stoned and playing games, although it didn't seem like a waste at the time. I especially loved RPG's, like the Baldur's Gate and Icewind Dale series, the Fallout series, the Neverwinter Nights series, the Mass Effect series, etc... I also enjoyed first person shooters, but in a more superficial way.

I used to be very, very anxious and self-conscious, constantly analyzing myself and people's reactions, constantly interpreting every little gesture, facial expression and word in the worst way possible. I had a bad social phobia. But ever since I died and was tortured in hell, these anxieties have lessened. So the worst event in my life actually turned out to be the most helpful event in my life.

I was tested for ADD and found positive, and people have suggested I might have a mild form of Asperger's. This could also simply be the giftedness, as it can have symptoms similar to these two "disorders".

I am much better one-on-one in a conversation, I can even seem a bit extroverted if I really trust and like the person. In a group of people, I tend to try to take into account what every individual could think of what I might say, how they might react, while also listening to everything that is being said at the same time. This annoying consciousness has lessened, as I have stopped caring too much about what people think of me.
 

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I don't know, I feel content with just one really good friend, I don't feel the need to have more friends. It would become too much of a burden, if I have a friend I want there to be a real connection, I don't want to be juggling friends with superficial bonds and putting my energy into something so meaningless. The same thing goes for casual sex, I could probably hook up with someone if I wanted to, but I just don't see the point. Love is all or nothing for me. It's a bit like madness, in a magical self-tormenting way.
This is a very INTP answer.
The love is 'all or nothing' is in many INTP descriptions.
For an INFJ, I would have expected an answer saying it's hard to get close to people because of trust and seeing through their motivations.
.

What else. Well, i philosophize a lot. I don't believe in free will (I have made some logical arguments to prove this to myself), I believe everything is connected, everything is one, and my ethical framework is based purely on happiness and suffering. This is also why I think most people's goals are completely pointless. The only thing that matters is to maximize happiness and minimize suffering, globally and in a durable way. At the same time I am a pantheist, but also an agnostic and an atheist. You can be those at the same time, it's no problem.

I want to some day reduce my ego until it is almost non-existant. I am interested in Buddhism, in letting go of most things. The only thing I don't want to let go of is love, trying to make the world a fairer place, and creating art (in its broadest sense).
Ok, so I think you are an INTP with a strong idealistic streak.
 

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Discussion Starter #9 (Edited)
Well, in some ways I do fit very well with an INTP. But there's one problem.

I have been stimulated to behave like an INTP for most of my life. Since I was bullied when I was really young, I have shut off my feelings towards others, I have really crawled further into my shell. I have always repressed my feelings, even though they have always been very strong. I have also been focussing on looking at everything purely logically from a very young age, since I built my self-image almost completely on my intelligence.

So while my explanations for why I do most of the things I do are usually based on logic, on the rational, on my Ti, my initial drive is probably more feeling and intuition-based. I just explain it in a rational way, because I would be ashamed to tell someone I do something because of feelings. I decide something based on feelings, then I find something rational to support it. My idealism, for example, is based on feeling, on compassion, on feeling connected to every living being on the planet, on being enraged by lies and selfishness, on feeling a very, very strong need for justice and mercy.

And because I have been able to prove to myself that free will doesn't exist, I could just say, well, everything just happens the way it does, time and space are simply illusions created by consciousness, I am not really in control, I am just a collection of molecules, atoms, quarks, etc... doing what they do. Cause and effect, possibly with seeming randomness that can be explained away in a many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics. But that's just not how I feel, and so I take what I've rationally concluded and find a way to make it fit with how I feel. On the other hand, it's simply possible to find a rational framework for these feelings that is perfectly logical. But if I didn't have these feelings, I would've probably stopped thinking at the point of realizing there is no free will, and just started doing whatever the hell I wanted.

I don't know, I think this is a very tough issue. Maybe I am some kind of freakish monster hybrid.

I am a special, unique snowflake. :rolleyes:
 

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Discussion Starter #10
You know what, I am going to find some site with a long list of characteristics of each type, and post it here while marking everything that fits me.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
For the INTP:

loner, more interested in intellectual pursuits than relationships or family, wrestles with the meaninglessness of existence (nuance: this used to be the case, it is no longer the case), likes esoteric things, disorganized, messy, likes science fiction, can be lonely, observer, private, can't describe feelings easily, detached, likes solitude, not revealing, unemotional, rule breaker, avoidant, familiar with the darkside, skeptical, acts without consulting others, does not think they are weird but others do, socially uncomfortable, abrupt, fantasy prone, does not like happy people (nuance: in this Western world, and when these people don't care about all the injustice in the world and just merrily go about their lives in a bubble of unjustified optimism), appreciates strangeness, frequently loses things, acts without planning, guarded, not punctual, more likely to support marijuana legalization, not prone to compromise, hard to persuade, relies on mind more than on others, calm

For the INFJ:

creative, smart, focus on fantasy more than reality, attracted to sad things, fears doing the wrong thing, observer, avoidant, fears drawing attention to self, anxious, cautious, somewhat easily frightened, easily offended, private, easily hurt, socially uncomfortable, emotionally moody, does not like to be looked at, fearful, perfectionist, can sabotage self, can be wounded at the core, values solitude, guarded, does not like crowds, organized, second guesses self, more likely to support marijuana legalization, focuses on peoples hidden motives, prone to crying, not competitive, prone to feelings of loneliness, not spontaneous, prone to sadness, longs for a stabilizing relationship, fears rejection in relationships, frequently worried, can feel victimized, prone to intimidation, lower energy, strict with self
 

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For the INTP:

loner, more interested in intellectual pursuits than relationships or family, wrestles with the meaninglessness of existence (nuance: this used to be the case, it is no longer the case), likes esoteric things, disorganized, messy, likes science fiction, can be lonely, observer, private, can't describe feelings easily, detached, likes solitude, not revealing, unemotional, rule breaker, avoidant, familiar with the darkside, skeptical, acts without consulting others, does not think they are weird but others do, socially uncomfortable, abrupt, fantasy prone, does not like happy people (nuance: in this Western world, and when these people don't care about all the injustice in the world and just merrily go about their lives in a bubble of unjustified optimism), appreciates strangeness, frequently loses things, acts without planning, guarded, not punctual, more likely to support marijuana legalization, not prone to compromise, hard to persuade, relies on mind more than on others, calm

For the INFJ:

creative, smart, focus on fantasy more than reality, attracted to sad things, fears doing the wrong thing, observer, avoidant, fears drawing attention to self, anxious, cautious, somewhat easily frightened, easily offended, private, easily hurt, socially uncomfortable, emotionally moody, does not like to be looked at, fearful, perfectionist, can sabotage self, can be wounded at the core, values solitude, guarded, does not like crowds, organized, second guesses self, more likely to support marijuana legalization, focuses on peoples hidden motives, prone to crying, not competitive, prone to feelings of loneliness, not spontaneous, prone to sadness, longs for a stabilizing relationship, fears rejection in relationships, frequently worried, can feel victimized, prone to intimidation, lower energy, strict with self
I don't like these descriptions, they just list some attributes without giving a sense of what each type really is about.
That INFJ is almost indistinguishable from an INFP description, for instance. A lot of those attributes are common for all INxx types
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Well, this may be something crucial: I can be incredibly perfectionistic. When it comes to making and recording music, this can be hell. The same goes for writing, except in a very casual setting, for example on a forum like this (English is not my native language, so forgive me any mistakes).

Additionally, despite the fact I have never had a relationship yet, I know that if I had one, I would definitely crave affection. I would be pro-cuddling, writing romantic poems, making romantic music, dedicating my life to my soul mate, and using the remaining time for trying to be a force for good in this world (by writing and being active in independent political parties, for example).

Sex, for me, would be something incredibly deep and spiritual, it would be a way of truly becoming one with my mate. I have never had sex, but I think that sex with someone who I'd really love, wouldn't really be sex, but truly making love.

Furthermore, I have this thing where, as a result of heaps of self-analysis and introspection while trying to be as honest as possible with myself, I am always trying to see through people. Trying to analyse hidden motives, trying to find the masks, the cloaks, the shields they wear and wield. The psychological problems they have that can be revealed through all kinds of small acts, things they say, facial expressions, things they like and dislike, all kinds of subtle little things. I am constantly trying to find out what is going on in their heads and in their subconsciousness as opposed to what they are trying to project, what they are trying to present, how they are trying to perform. I think that by getting that kind of information, you can truly help others. But I haven't dared to share this kind of information in many cases, because I don't know how to present it without hurting people. Additionally, they may not agree, as the issues may be embedded too deeply in their subconsciousness, and they might think I'm crazy. I have tried this with my dream girl, because I have seen that she is very insecure and this has translated in her losing parts of herself and losing control of her life, letting herself be influenced very strongly by her ex-friends and her new friend circle, along with her taking on a bit of a "hipster" image, while she is actually a truly sweet, kind, natural, altruistic soul. It's very hard to reach people, but I do think Jim Morrison was right that people think you're trying to steal their most prized possession when you remind them of who they really are, when you point out the masks, the cloaks and the shields.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I don't like these descriptions, they just list some attributes without giving a sense of what each type really is about.
That INFJ is almost indistinguishable from an INFP description, for instance. A lot of those attributes are common for all INxx types
I agree, it's just what I could find in terms of something that might have a chance of quantitatively measuring which type fits best. But that probably is a ridiculous prospect in the first place. I just don't know how to resolve the question decisively in any other way.
 

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Discussion Starter #15

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Discussion Starter #18
This is a very INTP answer.
The love is 'all or nothing' is in many INTP descriptions.
For an INFJ, I would have expected an answer saying it's hard to get close to people because of trust and seeing through their motivations.
Well, I have to admit, I don't really know if that isn't the case either. The thing is, decisions are usually not just based on one reason, they are the mathematical outcome of all kinds of factors interacting, but we are used to just pick out one reason which suits us at the time, which can be the case for all kinds of reasons, not necessarily because it is the most important reason.

I have always been interested in people, I have always been observing them and listening, but I simply used to be afraid to interact. I think this is a combination of a natural shyness and the emotional scars of bullying. Even when I really liked certain people and was interested in knowing more about them, I was afraid of asking questions, of showing interest, as I would be afraid of them thinking about my own motives, including the other people present at that moment. I was really afraid to connect, unless it would be a one-on-one situation. I was too focussed on my own insecurities and fears to be able to pay much uninterrupted attention to other people and express interest in them. The fact that what was talked about was often very superficial and uninteresting to me didn't help of course. When someone is a little different, when someone doesn't behave like a brainwashed robot, and talks about something that isn't often talked about, my interest suddenly increases, I feel safer, and the obstruction for interaction disappears. I think it's possible I used to be so insecure about myself, because of trauma and being extremely introverted, I tried to shut off my extroverted feeling and got caught in paranoid introverted intuition and thinking. I don't know. But since that awful bad trip, I haven't been the same, I have started to become more secure, more at ease with myself, and started focussing more on the outside world instead of on myself.

As for the love being an "all or nothing" phenomenon, I think this is also the case for INFJ's, as that is the type that believes in true love, as do I. I have only been in love twice in my life. Once with the girl from high school I was talking about, and once with a girl during my first year of college, who had a lot of characteristics that reminded me about the other girl. I have always retained feelings for the first girl, but not for the second girl.

But at this point I am finding it very difficult to see how different an INFJ with a strong Ti and an INTP with a strong Fe are. Sure, the functional stack is different, but it can develop in all kinds of strange ways, and it seems to be able to have very similar results in the eventual personality. But it would be pretty odd that the inferior function would develop so fast in someone's life.

I don't know. I am going to start a thread in the INFJ subforum as well, if they tell me I'm an INTP as well, it should be pretty conclusive.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
I have taken the Classic Jung Test and got this result:

Te (Extroverted Thinking) (30%)
your valuation of / adherence to logic of external systems / hierarchies / methods
Ti (Introverted Thinking) (80%)
your valuation of / adherence to your own internally devised logic/rational
Ne (Extroverted Intuition) (80%)
your valuation of / tendency towards free association and creating with external stimuli
Ni (Introverted Intuition) (75%)
your valuation of / tendency towards internal/original free association and creativity
Se (Extroverted Sensing) (10%)
your valuation of / tendency to fully experience the world unfiltered, in the moment
Si (Introverted Sensing) (50%)
your valuation of / focus on internal sensations and reliving past moments
Fe (Extroverted Feeling) (65%)
your valuation of / adherence to external morals, ethics, traditions, customs, groups
Fi (Introverted Feeling) (75%)
your valuation of / adherence to the sanctity of your own feelings / ideals / sentiment

Type is unclear of course.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Also, here is something I once wrote the girl I was talking about, in less of an "INTP-mode":

What if in your possession once was a pen imbued with magic most compelling, a lifeblood ink infused with numinous destiny to forge a mysterious course through the raging rivers of time untold? What if a story was yours to start, a tale so thrilling and satisfying as to defy whatever imagined future now holds you in thrall with such feverish fervidity? What if in the years that have come to pass, charming demons have convinced you to forget and relinquish this greatest gift of yours, pressed perniciously upon your mind the idea that the magic has faded away, that the tale is not yours to tell? And what if in this abandoned artifact, the purest parts of your soul still rove, imprisoned, neglected, tortured, wasting away?

What if?

What if now you are wearing a cursed cloak sewn from the clotted blood shed through disappointment and the scattered pieces of shattered dreams? What if now you hide behind a mendacious mask cast from the resin that leaked from your soul every time you were not treated as the extraordinary, magnificent spirit you are, and every time you were wrongfully made to feel inadequate? What if now you wield a shield of steel so cold it could have only been forged in the icy flames of dying hope and paralyzing pressure? And what if the love you now hold, is not real love, but rather a crude protective coating you anxiously applied to this cloak, this mask and this shield that hold you captive?

What if?

What if true love is begging you to courageously descend into the spider-webbed cellars of your soul, to the shadow-shrouded basements of your consciousness, to search for your magical pen, to reclaim your name, to reclaim your destiny, to reclaim yourself? What if true love simply loves you for who you are, sees beyond the cloak, beyond the mask, beyond the shield? What if you could drop them all, feel the burden finally lifted, and remember the enlightened feeling of freedom like the entwined caress of silk sunlight rays and dew-coated grass on naked toes? What if true love simply wants you to be yourself, to be fully alive, to be awakened, and to be cherished as you deserve to be for the rest of your days?

What if?

What if true love exists?

What if there is a boy as sensitive as a kitten, yet at the same time a man that has faced death and everlasting torture, an unshakable rock made of the most delicate feathers? What if there is a mind that has peered down the fabric of reality, realized that everything simply is and will always be, yet with all his heart still believes in the radiating brilliance of the human soul, the grand meaning of life, and the beautiful unity of all that is, connecting every living creature, vast and petite? What if there is a soul conscious of all the evil in the world, tormented by all the suffering, enraged by all the lies and all the selfishness, yet inspired by all the good, uplifted by all the happiness, and thrust forward by the truth and the stalwart conviction of those rare heroes and heroines battling for us all?

What if?

What if this creature loves you with all his heart, and has never stopped loving you since the day he decided you were the one, the day he realized you were the creature of his heart, and would never cease to be the only soul forever imprinted upon his being? What if this creature is simply telling you the truth? And what if this creature holds in his hands a similar magic pen, which he has just now rediscovered while adventuring through the deepest, deadliest dungeons of his own lonely soul? What if he is simply asking you to come join him, and start writing the most beautiful magical fantasy ever to be made reality, our words entangling harmoniously and unfolding the future in a language wholly and uniquely ours?

What if?

What if life can really be magical? What if there truly are only some things that really matter, but which are so often forgotten and neglected in the pursuit of prisons masquerading as happiness? What if there is much more to freedom than meets the eye? What if there is so much more to life than meets the eye? What if the key is already in your hands and you simply need to decide to unlock the doors of perception?

What if?

And here's a link to the poem I posted in the INTP poetry thread (third post from the top, the big one), I think it's another case of writing that isn't quite INTP-typical:

http://personalitycafe.com/intp-forum-thinkers/10877-intp-poetry-8.html
 
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